First, create a good learning environment for children.
For example, when he is doing homework at home, try not to disturb him and let him concentrate on solving problems; When he does his homework, we don't watch TV or play computer, but usually read books. I have read all the books he has read, so it is convenient to communicate with him. I always take pains to urge teachers to finish dictation and recite exams, and never treat them hastily to save trouble; Ask him often about his study. When he finds any knowledge omissions in his study, try to ask the teacher to help him check, so that the more he learns, the more confident he will be.
Second, make friends with him and walk into his inner world.
1, pay attention to his hobbies. To tell the truth, I care more about his physical and mental health than his academic performance, and pay attention to the cultivation of his hobbies. I think it is a very good thing for a child to have his own hobbies, which he really likes and which he is willing to suffer for. Xu Zhi likes basketball and singing very much now. Since I was a child, I have paid great attention to cultivating his hobbies and exposing him to musical instruments, painting and taekwondo. Learning these specialties is not to make him get married and become a star, but to let these beneficial activities guide him on the right track, enrich his life and make him full of love for life. The taekwondo he has learned has laid a good foundation for his current love of basketball, and his coordination and flexibility have been greatly improved. Moreover, these hobbies can enliven the body and mind and relieve the pressure, and he has no spare time to indulge in online games and online chat. I have never been bothered by his internet addiction, and he is very restrained in surfing the Internet himself. I think that if a child knows nothing, has no proper spare time and doesn't know what to do during the break, it will be easier to indulge in online games. Xu Zhiliang's good hobby, in his rebellious period, narrowed the distance between our mother and son. After the seventh grade, he fell in love with singing and listening to songs, which happened to be my hobby, so we had the same topic. Every time I hear a good song, I am recommended to listen to it and communicate with me. Sometimes we sing together at home and have a good relationship. I haven't wanted to say anything to our parents since the first day of junior high school. I feel there is a generation gap with us. I'm really glad to talk to me about everything now.
2. Understand his mentality in time. Fourteen years old is a rebellious period of youth, and thoughts will fluctuate. For example, inexplicable irritability; Parents talk too much, they feel verbose and bored; I like to contradict my parents. In this case, I always put myself in the other's shoes and understand that this is the normal performance of teenagers' development stage, so I can calm down instead of blindly accusing and reprimanding, and I will treat them coldly. Later, I patiently asked him if he had encountered any difficulties or was confused. He also calmed down and communicated with me. In short, accompany the child, accompany him to succeed, and accompany him to wrestle. Even if you know there is a wall in front, you should accompany him to hit it, because it is our responsibility, and children can only grow up in constant setbacks.
Third, encourage children to set up lofty ideals.
Xu Zhicong fell in love with basketball. His dream is to participate in college basketball first, then enter CBA and finally enter NBA. People always have shortcomings. There are many people in this world who want to be Yao Ming, but few people have the innate conditions of Yao Ming. I didn't sneer at the child's unrealistic ideas, but encouraged and supported him. Even if you are born with insufficient conditions, you cannot give up. Even if you can't go to the NBA in person, you can study hard and engage in basketball-related work in the future, such as commentator and sports reporter, which is also very meaningful. I think no matter what the outcome is, as long as he chooses the goal he is willing to work for, the process of struggle is victory. If today it can be considered that he has no hope of playing basketball because of his height and weight; Tomorrow, when you fall behind your classmates, you may choose that you are not the material to study, thus giving up your efforts. Therefore, as long as we make unremitting efforts, even if we fail, as long as we face new choices with the same attitude in the future, we will succeed one day.
Children are a book, which is difficult for us to understand. I also crossed the river by feeling the stones and got to know him slowly. No one is perfect. There are still many shortcomings in Xu Zhi, but I will always encourage and appreciate him with a tolerant heart, so that his advantages can better make up for my own shortcomings.
The above is just my own experience, which may not be useful to every child, but it also has some shortcomings. Please give your parents valuable advice. I still have a lot to do, and I hope to have more opportunities to exchange ideas with parents about educating children in the future. thank you
Speech by parents of PTA Part II
Dear parents:
Hello everyone! I'm Xiaoru's mother. First of all, thank you very much for giving me this opportunity to communicate with you.
Let me share with you the gains or lessons that Xiaoru has brought me since she entered middle school. Please forgive me for the inappropriate place.
Let me first talk about some misunderstandings or inappropriate practices in the process of managing children:
1. Simply and rudely face the rebellious period of children.
Every child's situation is different. The child in our family rebelled for a whole year from the next semester of senior one to the last semester of senior two. The main performance is that she doesn't listen to anything I say, but she is contrary to me. Sometimes, she clearly knows that I am right, but she deliberately says no. She was glad to see me angry.
I don't know how everyone faces this situation. At that time, I took the simplest and most primitive method: I was angry with myself, then yelled at her and came up with all the reasons I could tell her. The final result: not only not working, but getting worse. Her father told me that she often does some venting actions behind my back. Our mother and I became enemies. When I scolded her, she hoped that she would drive me out of this house and forget about it.
Second, do not pay attention to children's academic performance.
As a teacher, I never advocate that children study hard. So we've always been laissez-faire, slack management, as long as it's about the same. I can't remember how many times I read her homework, except her signature. This idea is ok in primary schools, because children are simple and don't think too much, and the content of communication between children is also very simple. But after middle school, it was completely different. As the case proves, my idea is completely wrong. When her grades fell, her mind had turned several times.
Being busy has become an excuse to ignore children.
I work in Jingshan Road Primary School of Lishan Street Office, and things at school are busy. As you all know, at my age, I work in all units. More experienced than young people and more energetic than old people. So, I give the impression that children are very busy. When I go home for dinner every day, I usually do my own work in the study. She is doing her homework in the bedroom. My concern for her is that when I see that it's almost done, I ask if it's finished, do you want to sign it, and then urge her to wash it. For a long time, I didn't know anything about her homework. I didn't know whether it was really finished, whether she copied the answers and so on. To tell the truth, like most parents, I have always been more willing to trust my children. I always thought that she could manage herself. I also used being busy as an excuse. These three points are the most inappropriate things I think I have done.
Next, I will talk about my own reflection and the progress of children's growth:
Thanks to this nosy class teacher.
First of all, I'm glad that Ru met this nosy head teacher, Miss Song. Teacher Song teaches Chinese, but she is in charge of many things. It is often heard that Ru comes home and says: The boss found those students who didn't do their history homework well, the boss looked through their English homework, the boss checked everyone's desks, the boss checked everyone's school uniforms and so on. I was surprised to hear the tone when the child said these words. She doesn't understand why the boss cares so much. Isn't the Chinese teacher teaching Chinese? The pipe is too wide! In addition, there is obvious dissatisfaction in the tone, because sometimes there will be people under investigation.
But slowly, I found a change. She still said that the boss was nosy, but her tone changed. For example, she said that the boss checked the girl with bangs today, and I was not found because I tied my hair up; The boss found graffiti on the school uniform and desk, and mine has been cleaned; The boss checked the long nails, and I have already cut them. It sounds like trivial things, and everyone thinks it has nothing to do with grades, but as a colleague, I know how hard this process is.
If the teacher helps the children to learn knowledge, they will soon be rewarded in the exam, and parents will be very satisfied if the children get high marks; If a teacher subsidizes a student and buys a book or a dress for the child, the effect will be immediate. Everyone can see her dedication and her love will be praised. But if a teacher wants to change a child's bad habits, then she needs to be prepared for long-term efforts, and be prepared for not necessarily being rewarded or even misunderstood. Mind your own business, you really need a realm. To put it bluntly, many times, this is a thankless thing. You care too much, and the children are not satisfied; If you report too much to your parents, they will think that you are biased against your children; The problem with bad habits is that they are easy to repeat. Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort to get better. If she is not careful, she will soon make the same mistake again. This requires teachers to be very patient and take pains to infiltrate.
I don't know how other children in our class are, and whether there is such a phenomenon. Does it also worry Teacher Song? Anyway, I really appreciate this young girl. One of her older children went to help me take care of the child. thank you
Second, reflect more and correct your behavior.
Through these problems in the process of educating children, I firmly believe that all children's problems are parents' problems.
Through the communication with Teacher Song, I compared Teacher Song's attitude towards children with myself. Through continuous learning, I began to reflect on my own practices. I asked myself:
1. Why do I get angry when my children's test scores drop so badly? Am I angry only because she doesn't care, or because she has no face?
2. Why does she have these little problems? Every time she doesn't know how to do it, do I teach her how to do it calmly?
When I compared her with other children in her class, I just kept saying that Song Zuo's Olympiad was great, great, and Zhou was great. Have I compared with the parents of these children? What have I paid?
Faced with these problems, I really reflect on what kind of harm my practice has brought to my children. At this point, I am still very grateful to Teacher Song. Because our relationship was at its worst, I went to Beijing to study for a month and a half as soon as school started this spring. Teacher Song seized this educational opportunity with great care. I have talked with my children many times and conducted guidance and education. After I came back, I found that the children's attitude towards me has changed a lot. I also began to learn from my mistakes and pay attention to my manners.
Now, Xiaoru can treat her study life optimistically and positively. Not only do you have a correct attitude towards learning, but you often give yourself some encouragement. I cherish the progress of her thoughts and attitudes. I believe that children will develop healthily and comprehensively in this big family, and I also believe that they will do better and better through hard work. Strive to make every effort to cooperate with the work of the class teacher and the teacher. Finally, thank you again for your hard work!