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93 selected quotes from QQ group chat funny quotes

1. Because I was too heartfelt in the past, I am now heartless.

2. Just now, a friend told me a touching story about how he was blackmailed by a delinquent for 20 yuan when he was in junior high school. He handed over 50 yuan and the delinquent gave him 30 yuan.

3. If there were no homework, no tests, no exams, and no parent-teacher conferences, I think I would enjoy school very much.

4. If you believe it, believe it. If you don’t believe it, don’t believe it. Return the whole WeChat.

5. Having good looks is an advantage, but living an awesome life is the key.

6. How many children have been harmed by exams and how many honest children have learned to cheat.

7. The three sentences that moved me the most: I will bring you delicious food, I will treat you to delicious food, and I will take you to eat delicious food.

8. Today’s midterm exam, Chinese language, I was so excited that I wrote a composition about love! Thinking about it now, I must have had a seizure at the time!

9. Eason Chan's "Ten Years" sings the voice of every fat person: Want to lose weight, but shed tears at the same time?

10. After putting on the headphones, I suddenly found that there was no sound on the left side After careful examination of the sound, it was discovered that it was a false alarm and it turned out to be deafness in the left ear.

11. This is the first time I heard an old lady praise another old lady and said: "You take good care of yourself, you are not dead yet." ?

12. Girls with thick fingers, don’t feel sad. From now on, the gold rings given by your boyfriend will be bigger!

Thirteen. I am very ordinary and simple, but deep down I am very brave.

Fourteen. If I am not in the Jianghu, I am on my way to the Jianghu.

15. Question: Is there pure friendship between men and women? Answer: As long as you are ugly, you will have friends from all over the world.

16. Whenever I take an exam and score 30 or 40 points, you really think that I did it alone!

17. Only if you want to become a better version of yourself can you meet a better you.

18. You are the person who makes me smile the brightest and cry the deepest.

19. If you don’t push yourself, you will find that the friends around you are beyond your reach.

20. I don’t like the salesperson staying close to me when I’m shopping in the supermarket. I feel like I’m a thief.

21. It’s summer, and the situation on campus is basically: girls dress like nightclubs, and boys dress like migrant workers.

Twenty-two. Many girls you think you can’t catch up with actually have no one chasing you at all! Many boys you think you don't like actually have girlfriends!

23. A woman can be unscrupulous when commenting on a man’s breasts in person; if a man does this, he is a hooligan.

Twenty-four. I hope you can walk on your own in the future, while I will take the car.

Twenty-five. I love my six-pack abs the most! That's why a thick layer of fat is used to protect them.

Twenty-six. I can’t stand my foodie girlfriend anymore. She broke my little walnut bracelet and ate it?

Twenty-seven. Get used to one thing. Things take 21 days, but no one told me how long it would take to quit a habit.

Twenty-eight. Say sorry to yourself, I haven’t been able to marry you off yet.

Twenty-nine. You are crazy without me and I am strong without you.

30. May Day is here, are you ready to go shopping, are you ready to eat, are you ready to go to an amusement park? I just want to say, remember to bring Fuck me.

Thirty-one. I asked a child what love is. He said, ?Love is when a puppy licks your face. ?I laughed, but he went on to say, ?You ignored him even for a day.

32. There are only two possibilities for disappointment: choosing the wrong person, or having undue expectations.

Thirty-three. When a woman looks at the sky, she is not looking for anything. She is just lonely.

Thirty-four. When the tears overflowed, I admitted that I had lost. It turned out that our story was just a beautiful fairy tale.

Thirty-five. Saying "I took off your makeup" to a girl is far less lethal than "I took off your makeup".

Thirty-six. Even though he has thousands of advantages, he no longer loves him. This is a shortcoming that he can never convince himself to accept.

Thirty-seven. Remember you are a woman and then fight like a man.

Thirty-eight. No matter what you do, you must go all out and give 100%! Except for blood donation.

Thirty-nine. I saw a couple** on the road. So I ran over and said to the boy: Brother, the sister today is not as beautiful as the one yesterday.

Forty. Don’t give up old friends easily. Because you can't find someone else to replace him. Friendship is like wine, the older the better.

41. In fact, if you hug me during an argument, you will find that I never have the strength to leave you.

42. In today’s exam, I think I avoided all the correct answers very cleverly.

43. Crying in front of a man who doesn’t love you is an insult to yourself.

Forty-four. The ideal man in a woman’s mind is actually: If anything matters, he will care about Yunchang, but if nothing matters, Ximen Qing will care about him.

Forty-five. Because of youth, I dare to dream and keep running on the road of dreams!

Forty-six. Being burned to death is the most painful thing, because you can smell the barbecue but cannot eat it.

47. Making a decision is not difficult. What is difficult is taking action and sticking to it.

48. In class, the teacher gave an example: a father named Zhang San, Li Si?

49. Sometimes you are angry, angry, and sad just because of what you have encountered Emotions are too far apart from what you thought.

50. Who said that reading news after a breakup means nostalgia? You have to look at the toilet after going to the toilet!

51. If mosquitoes stopped sucking blood and switched to sucking fat, what a cute little creature they would be!

Fifty-two. People are really stupid when they are full, but they are smart from the inside out when they are hungry.

Fifty-three. Teacher, it’s not that I don’t study, it’s because I have been afraid of the dark since I was a child, so I have never dared to look at the blackboard.

Fifty-four. Just study, why take the exam? ! Why is there no trust between people at all!

Fifty-five. When I truly understand the meaning of these four words: "Good times and good times", you are no longer here.

Fifty-six. Have you noticed that those who don’t like you are very ugly.

Fifty-seven. Don’t want to move, don’t want to talk, just so motionless, even if China Mobile doesn’t move?

Fifty-eight. I want to become fat and become a sea, drowning everything The skinny guy who shows off.

Fifty-nine. I am not a moth and cannot burn my own city. I would rather believe that being heartbroken is another kind of strength.

Sixty. Time is the most precious, and time is money. Calculating wages, I am doing a big time clearance.

Sixty-one. Last year, I had my hair cut short, but you popularized waist-length hair. This year, you grew your hair long, and you launched the goddess with short hair. Are you kidding me? Or are you kidding me? Still kidding me!

Sixty-two. Some people and some things should be forgotten. People have never cared about you, so why should you be so sentimental?

Sixty-three. Those who repost their zodiac signs all day long are roaring in their hearts? Those who look down on me are all bastards! ?

Sixty-four. If you can’t do anything and eat anything, change your brain capacity and stomach capacity!

Sixty-five. I have already decided the wedding day, now I have to find a groom?

Sixty-six. I was playing on my mobile phone after class today, and suddenly someone was lying on my bed. On the back, I thought it was my girlfriend so I kissed her, but it turned out to be my class teacher?

Sixty-seven. What you can pick up but cannot put down is the chopsticks, and what you can’t get out of is the quilt.

Sixty-eight. If you want to praise a person's appearance, you can say "no trace of PS"; it is also harmful to others.

Sixty-nine. My deskmate said to me: You have studied more seriously since you fell out of love.

70. Life, old age, illness and death must be: live well, age slowly, get sick late, and die quickly.

Seventy-one. After taking English classes for so many years, the most common thing I hear from my classmates is: What did he ask me to do?

72. There is nothing wrong with using enlightenment, but it is your fault to use boiling water.

Seventy-three. What others live is called life, but what I live is adventure.

Seventy-four. Whether you love or not, whether you feel something or not, it all depends on your face!

Seventy-five. Don’t always wrong yourself just to accommodate others. There are few people in this world who are worthy of you always bending down.

Seventy-six. Sometimes I just want to sit next to you, smile and stare at your silhouette, without any unnecessary words to each other.

Seventy-seven. The people who hurt you the most are often those who claim they will never hurt you.

Seventy-eight. If you knew me in the past, maybe you would forgive me now.

Seventy-nine. There is nothing wrong with crying in itself. But sooner or later you have to stop crying and decide what to do.

80. Teacher, don’t call students stupid. If we all know how to do it, what do we need you to do?

81. Only by persisting in what others cannot persist can you have what others cannot possess.

Eighty-two. In fact, I am not that strong, I just learned to pretend like most people.

Eighty-three. Autumn is here, the weather is cooler, and a group of wild geese fly south, sometimes forming a braised meal, and sometimes forming a stewed meal.

84. The sunshine in life not only comes from the sun, but also from our hearts.

Eighty-five. Continuous growth, constant loss, and finally all that is left is a cold heart that freezes all the feelings.

Eighty-six. It’s none of my business that you hate me, as if you like me will sublimate my life.

Eighty-seven. I saw the boss fell asleep in the rocking chair, and the boss’s wife beat his legs. I instantly felt so loving. I couldn’t bear to disturb them, so I gently took two cans of Wangzai and left.

Eighty-eight. You said that ice is like sleeping water, but all I remember is the sigh that farts are shit?

Eighty-nine. There are two necessary steps to conquer a woman. Lu: Please her mother and surpass her father.

Ninety. I ate a lot out, and when I got home to eat, even if I was starved to death, I wouldn’t say I ate out secretly!

Ninety-one. A classmate’s cell phone suddenly rang in class. What shocked me was that his ringtone was: Please pay attention when reversing, please pay attention when reversing? The teacher thought it was the sound outside.

Ninety-two. Although I don’t like seafood, the mermaid is still acceptable.

Ninety-three. No matter how painful things you experience, you will gradually forget them in the end. Because nothing can beat time.