Ceekay is an intern pharmacist. Grandpa is Irish, so he is a quarter Irish. My mother is from Shaoyang and my grandmother is from Hainan. /kloc-started smoking methamphetamine and marijuana at the age of 0/7. Is an extremely low-key person.
Growing up, her withdrawn personality gave people the feeling of indifference. She studies in a boarding school in junior high school. Her personality may also be caused by her family. Her parents are often absent, divorced and seldom care about her.
He once wrote an LES novel Shen, which mainly tells the story of the heroine and Yi Longjing. Yilongjing exists in reality, but Melissa Zhou and Yilongjing are not the same person. Yi Longjing is Ceekay's beloved woman. Melissa Zhou is Ceekay's roommate and good friend in junior high school, and Melissa Zhou is a Canadian wife.
Maybe taking drugs can reach the spiritual world she expects. Ceekay is paranoid and stubborn, and tends to go to extremes. She has the habit of playing with blood to hurt herself. She often cuts herself black and blue with a knife, and cries alone every day, which is very painful mentally. Ceekay's blog:-I will die again and again to prove that life will be endless. (The original sentence is from Tagore-Bird)
she
She is just an ordinary girl. It's just that she has her own unique and profound views on many problems in life. For example, suffering (here suffering is broad and contains two meanings. The first layer refers to the survival difficulties that people will inevitably encounter in the process of survival. The first meaning refers to the pain and death caused by people's psychological endurance to the ugly side after thinking deeply about all aspects of human nature. People in this world have several views on suffering and death.
The first kind of people keep looking for a goal in life and then work hard for it. They also know that there are hardships in life, but life has goals, hard work and fun, so suffering has little influence on them, or they have adopted a passive attitude towards suffering and death for most of their lives. They regard their mental state as a positive state, and most people belong to this kind of people.
The second kind of people have a much shallower understanding of suffering and death than the first kind. In a sense, they just live in the dark and have no big goals and direction in life. They live out the nature of animal existence. Basically, they don't ask about the meaning of living, and a certain number of people belong to this category.
The third kind of people unfortunately encounter hardships in the process of life (suffering refers to the meaning of the first level mentioned above for such people), and they choose to commit suicide to escape because they don't want to open their hearts or be depressed. Their deaths are absolutely tragic and avoidable.
The fourth kind of people are very complicated people. They are naturally keen on thinking and love the freedom of the soul. Most of them are lonely in life and like to be alone. They have a deep understanding of suffering, especially the almost indelible suffering brought by the ugly side of human nature in the process of life, and finally choose death to get rid of it.
Only the fourth kind of people die relatively optimistically. Ceekay certainly belongs to the fourth category. All those who like her should bless her. You shouldn't always talk about her life and death. No matter life or death, she got the peace she deserved.
Ceekay's Last Diary
I have a stomachache.
Weird posture froze in the soft chair.
Sweating all over.
Probably hungry.
I stood up in high spirits and went to find some baking soda cookies to eat.
My stomach is cramped.
Rush into the bathroom and retch.
I can't spit anything out.
I can only habitually squat down and pick my throat.
When I put my finger in, I felt sick.
Finally spit it out, and the gastric juice lubricated the esophagus.
I just want to get rid of this discomfort.
Digging for a minute or two, the fingertips are getting harder and harder.
There are blood drops on the white tiles.
I don't know if my nails hurt my throat or I have a nosebleed.
In short, the throat and nose began to spray blood, mixed with stomach acid and filth.
Your face and hands are covered with blood and saliva.
I am hysterical. I just want to throw up everything in my stomach, so I will feel better.
My eyes are black when I stand up.
Stumbling against the wall for a while.
I stared vaguely at myself in the bathroom mirror.
This scene is repeated almost every year.
I'm so tired.
What festival is it today?
It seems to be New Year's Eve.
Fireworks were set off everywhere, and the night outside the window was like day.
Ears, but can't hear any sound.
The nosebleed is still running.
Slip through the corners of your mouth, drop down your chin and drop on your collarbone and chest.
Sweet smell of fish.
Wash your face with cold water at will.
He cocked his neck motionless and finally stopped the nosebleed.
Go back to your room.
Go online.
Ceekay's death was suicide. The date is February 13, 2008.
Drug abuse before death, traces of methamphetamine injection. I ate dozens of sleeping pills and cut my hands and thighs with a dagger, which deepened my hands. Visible bone
Later, she was found by her family and sent to the hospital. After waking up, she pulled out the needle, refused treatment, and finally died. I killed myself because I was desperate for life. It's not the car accident. It's not gothic death.
It's just that she was tired and fell asleep.
Songs in memory of her
Komatsu 4 c.k-flammable feet. Cheng Kun (Xuanfu)
Happy birthday, Ke.
Black elf-light
A song for Tan Wei
Ceekay-Han Mike
SO4C. K-Lvokin Company; Mesia
Gothic girl to C.K. (Hungarian)-Prince of Cherry Blossoms
In memory of C.K.-OPPA
My King-Winterrekai
Blessing C.K. (pure music)-minimum Nd
Don't cry for Queen Hana Meow.
The death of C.K.-Jenson 13
Fan Yiting (former bar owner C.K.)
Ceekay Twitter-Ghost Pupil ft/SKS Huang Jue
Hug-Phoenix
If. Don't go-12 white cee
memoirs
Melancholy Fairy Tales (Cover) —— Jaly Financial Times. SKS· Huang Jue
Gothic girl (song of the same name)-b.l.
Eternal life-mcdonkeyingchi. Chen Li
Classic quotation 1, I will die again and again to prove that life will be endless. (Quoted from Tagore's "Birds" and this sentence from the novel "Shen")
2. What you are most afraid of flows in your body.
Whether you have personality or not is none of my business. Forget your vanity and fantasy and let me agree with you.
I'm not an artist or a public figure, so I don't need to put up with anyone and please anyone, especially if it's just the Internet.
5. Check the memory and kill the purity. (This is the personal signature that Ke used before)
6, so it is called winter when it snows.
7. If one day you can't see me surfing the Internet, I must be looking for the legendary miracle.
8. Even if there is no distance between hugs, there is still a universe in the middle.
9. People keep saying that I have grown up. What I want to say is that I didn't cry to anyone again. Growing up means being silent and accepting everything.
10, human memory, you can jump the grid.
1 1, I have changed. I am changing it. I've been changing it. I have been trying to change it.
12, I am nostalgic. Try to piece together, remember all the people and things in the past, and only resist thinking of myself in the past.
13, no one forced me to be hypocritical, but hypocrisy is really good.
14, I don't care who is laughing, who is crying, who is alive and who is dead, as long as I want.
15, everyone seems to be up to no good and addicted to their own scripts. No one can get rid of it.
16, life, alive, strong. But a moment's accident can always make life particularly small and fragile.
17, who says fantasy is the cheapest entertainment? Just why there is a feeling of getting deeper and deeper, the pain will still burst silently like a bubble.