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1, who has no shit and who has no paper since ancient times. If you don't use toilet paper, unless you use your fingers.

2, the crowd looked for him thousands of Baidu, looked up and saw him flying in the sky ... a bird man!

If you don't let me wear the wedding dress again, I'll let you wear the cassock.

It's so cold that even farting can be used to dry hands.

Just because I looked at you again in the crowd, you asked me to answer the questions on the blackboard.

6. I chatted with the male god last night, and suddenly he said: You want to upgrade and be my girlfriend.

7. Shanglian: I didn't bring my student ID card, admission ticket and ID card. Part II: Do not do listening, reading, composition and writing. Horizontal recognition: focus on participation.

8. Your chat record is full of your automatic replies.

9. From elementary school to university, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.

10, the teacher said that falling in love affects learning, doesn't learning affect falling in love?

1 1. I want to go to the movies with my boyfriend recently. Please recommend me a good boyfriend.

12, er, I'll go. Life flies. I am officially a sophomore today.

13, don't think that returning to your space after breaking up is nostalgia. I will take a look at the toilet after taking a shit.

14, thank you for your indifference and know my self-love.

15, it took 10 minutes to get up this time. You beat 88% of the students in the country. There is still a classmate in the dormitory who can't get up and is starting over. The dormitory next door collapsed!

16, the earth is moving, and a person will not be in an unlucky position forever.

17, always so worthless, running to your space every day, and then melodramatic deletion of interview records, I want to slap myself.

18, don't expect to lose weight, Bajie hasn't lost weight after walking a hundred thousand miles. Besides, he is a vegetarian!

19, I will find a boyfriend with the same surname as you, have a son and call you by your name. If you can't be husband and wife, you can be my son

20. The bankruptcy of Durex is not a tragedy, but the bankruptcy of Durex is a tragedy.

2 1, if you want to fight, I will fight! I have a line of fire. I'm stupid.

22. The weather is very cold. Besides the bed, the place I want to go most is your arms.

23. I like clean and white boys because I am really a swan.

After walking for so long, I found that the only thing I can rely on is myself.

25. Di Renjie: Fiona Fang, what do you think of the nearest door? Fiona Fang: My Lord, I will watch it on the fast broadcast.

26. How did you get the most unforgettable scar on your body? The cruel doctor cut it when you were born.

Without those stupid women, life would be more stupid.

28. Everyone who loves to sleep late has a lover who is hard to give up. His name is bed.

29. I was deliberately deceived by your prank because I wanted to see your smile.

30. Love is like fireworks. No matter how beautiful it is, it is also a brilliant moment.

3 1. Just because I took one more look at you in the classroom, you asked me to do the problem on the podium.

Listen, I allow you to like me. We have no choice but to grow old together.

33. If you wear flats because you are waiting for me to take you away one day, now is the time.

I heard that ugly people should read more books. No wonder my mother said that I was not cut out for reading when I was young.

35. A faint glance is your earnest commitment, and a quiet moment is my life. I don't want to leave you.

36. After I left, you called me and said you missed me, just like a barking dog in the street.

37. When will there be a bright moon? Ask the wine and say to the sky, fuck you, I am so busy, how can I ignore you and watch the weather forecast by myself!

38. I gradually found that people are goblins. Some goblins eat people, but people eat everything. If you catch a leprechaun, maybe you can have a barbecue.

39. I hope all the money in my pocket loves each other and has more children.

40. God will take away the best things around us and remind us not to get too much.

4 1, life is like this, you will always stretch your legs when you are too beautiful to find the north.

42. Don't think that God has abandoned you, because God has no time to talk to you.

43. The left brain is full of water and the right brain is full of flour. It's just a matter of moving, and everything is burnt.

44. I spent all my luck meeting you and never got a chance to get multiple-choice questions again.

45. Happiness is that although you didn't listen in class, you found that the listener didn't understand.

46. Girls, find a husband in the future and have a baby named Xia. The child's name is Shaq. The child should not be questioned by the teacher.

47. In the face of beauty: danger can be saved, and no danger can create danger.

48. I really envy those people who have the body like a monkey but the appetite like a pig.

49. The most beautiful words in the world are not that I love you, but that your tumor is benign!

50. If I fall in love with your smile, how can I collect it and have it?

5 1, going to school is, if you don't go to the teacher, you will feel uncomfortable.

52. The chemistry teacher asked: What about the gas leak? Don't panic, light a cigarette and calm down.

53. I planted my girlfriend in spring and harvested a bunch of green hats in autumn.

There is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits. One day I went to vomit. One day you went and the monkey threw up.

55. If you are willing to tear my heart off layer by layer, you will go to jail, I'll tell you.

56. Unexpectedly, the time I secretly loved turned out to be the topic we talked about later.

If one day I can't hold an umbrella for you, I will accompany you in the rain.

58. I am not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but I am afraid to imagine: another bottle.

59, mobile phone, I'm sorry for pressing you every day!

60, women are easy to be satisfied, and it is easy for you to stumble.

6 1, men never regret getting married, but regret not marrying another woman.

62. Yesterday someone said I was ugly, so I cried on the spot. I am very sad, and I feel sorry for him. I went blind at a young age.

63. One thousand and one wishes are too many. I just need to realize one thing.

64. When I get angry, winter comes; When you get angry in winter, you become a long-sleeved man.

65. I want a stable score, can resist the cruelty of exams, and have a home among the piles of schoolmasters.

Either I changed my appearance or you forgot the time.

67, two people with type B blood, the son born must be B.

68. My mother asked me if I had any brothers or sisters. I said no. My mother said, I can have this. I said, I really don't have this.

You can come to me when you are in a bad mood, and I will try my best to make your mood worse.

I want to read more books. Even if I become a hooligan in the future, I will be a literate hooligan.

7 1, cold is a word, I will only say it once, I know you will use snot instead.

72. Without you, who will give me the warmth I need when I am lonely?

73. Holding his left hand, running endlessly in the rain. Finally, we snuggled up happily.

If a boy is pregnant, he must be treated well, loved and protected. what do you think?

75. Don't be depressed. Although you haven't traveled, at least you have a body that says you are fat.

76. I know all banquets must come to an end, but at least I want to eat well at the banquet!

77. I want everything but shame. Eat everything, but there is nothing left.

Look into my eyes and you will find what you mean to me.

79. In fact, I have long wanted to get rid of the curse, but the group of teasing around me always makes me unbearable!

80. You should remember that no matter what we are unfamiliar with in the end, a red envelope can go back to the beginning.

8 1, my world suddenly began to snow, my god! Please don't comb your hair next to me.

82. I must be a shiny psycho in your mediocre life.

83. Don't plant strawberries on your face. What grows is not fruit but traces.

84. Your sister dares to curse me for eating instant noodles without seasoning, and I curse you for eating instant noodles with seasoning.

85. I comfort myself every time I finish the exam. It's okay. It's all about participation.

86. The chances of finding true love this year are similar to those of being struck by lightning.

87. When men and women flirt, the most striking Chinese character is born: bump.

88. Women are made of water, men are made of mud, and Li Junji and Chris Lee are both made of cement.

89. I recently read a book that taught people how to forget, and I benefited a lot. I forgot the title and content.

90. I didn't buy jasmine honey tea, so I didn't have a good chance.

9 1. I think the fact that you like me is very correct.

92. What is redundancy? Cotton-padded jacket in summer, cattail leaf fan in winter, and your hospitality after I was cold.

93. Fate let me know you, just like finding an embroidery needle in the vast sea, more like finding a female monkey who can't climb trees in the zoo.

94. I have been thinking about what the first person who discovered that milk can be drunk did to the cow!

95. My boyfriend asked me to play League of Legends, and I did. Then I don't have time to talk to him now.

96. Learn from Tencent if you have nothing to do, and call me dear every day!

97. I found ten dollars along the road and handed it to the handsome guy of the network management. The handsome boy smiled, and I said to him, Be a member.

98. Hawking's story tells us that learning physics well comes at a price.

99. Take your complaints out in the sun every day, and you won't be short of calcium.

100 I forgot to wear a short skirt, and Nima still wears leggings! Will I still peek at you? Trust between people is gone.

10 1. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? So be realistic.

102, when she walked out of the examination room, she cried and said, "Mathematics is so difficult that I can't go to the same university as you!" He: "I knew you wouldn't. I didn't do any big problems later. "