A master of physics and his girlfriend are boating on a small lake in the park. They are sitting at the bow and stern respectively. Suddenly Xueba suggested that they exchange seats. After adjustment, he took out a tape measure to measure the displacement and length of the ship, and then said, "So you have 120 Jin!" "
A strange number sent me a message: "Dad, my living expenses are gone. Please call me hundreds of times, or the original number xxxxxxxxxx. " I froze for 5 seconds and went back to the past: "Son, are you from the future?" Can you tell me when I can see your mother? "
I called my father yesterday and said that you also gave my mother some gifts on Mother's Day. My father thought about it and said quietly, I think she should give me some gifts. She can't be a mother without me.
I heard that you don't fall in love at school, so you can only wait for a blind date after work, then watch a movie and get married after dinner. . .
Yesterday, after getting up in the morning, the netizen on 127 Road Forum said happily to his wife: Wife, I had a dream, and I found 200 yuan! The wife said, "Be careful today, dreams are counterproductive." Me: "So you mean I'm going to lose 200 dollars today?" The wife hesitated for a moment and said, "I will confiscate this 200 yuan in your wallet in case you lose it." Netizen crazy sweat: "This dream is fucking accurate!
At three o'clock at noon, when the scorching sun was in the sky, the supervisor gave an order: "Cut!" "The condemned man burst out laughing! The supervisor asked, "What are you laughing at? The condemned man hesitated for a moment and said, "The experts are right. Smiling can prolong life for 5 seconds!
Li Bai didn't study hard in the mountains when he was a child. He sneaked down the mountain to play, walked to the stream at the foot of the mountain and saw an old woman grinding iron bars. Li Bai asked, old woman, what are you doing? The old woman said: I want to grind an embroidery needle. Li Bai said: How can such a thick iron bar be ground into a needle? The old woman said: as long as the kung fu is deep, the iron pestle is ground into a needle. Li Bai sat down silently and said, I see how you pick the eye of a needle when you sharpen it!
Headline news: Huangyan Island is also called Democracy Reef. Democracy in China, like this island, is just a little above the water. Therefore, Huangyan Island conforms to the national conditions and must belong to China!
A male customer is eating in a restaurant. The boss gave him a surprise when he finished eating and asked for the bill. "30,000 yuan, too expensive!" He said, "You should give a discount to your peers, right?" The boss said, "So you also run a restaurant?" The male customer said, "No, I am robbing money."
A rich second generation shows off his wealth: "This is my seventh sports car." There was a divine reply in the comment: "What is there to show off? Just seven more than me ... "
At the wedding, a young man rushed in. The bride immediately said, "I have read the micro-novel, and I am ready!" Come on, are you here to rob the groom, bride, best man or maid of honor? " "Or a priest?" The groom added. The young man looked frightened: "I, I'm the master of ceremonies at your wedding. I'm sorry I'm late …" "
I have a dream that there are only five fill-in-the-blank questions in a test paper, and the school is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
A string of numbers can prove that you are a slacker-232945862672323 You must have seen all the numbers and this …
A classmate often plays truant. In order not to repeat the grade, he decided to send a message to the professor: "I am director Chen of the teaching and research section." Why haven't you sent me the questions for your final exam? " All the other teachers have already sent it, just you. My e-mail address is xxxxx. "So two minutes later, there was another test in his mailbox!
A girl got her boyfriend's engagement ring the night before, but her classmates didn't notice it, which made her very angry. In the afternoon, when everyone was sitting and chatting, she suddenly stood up and said loudly, "Gee, it's really hot in here. I think I'd better take off my ring. "
A greedy netizen concluded: The salesman on the train in China always shouted such a couplet. The first part: grilled fish fillets with cigarettes, beer and mineral water ~ the second part: white wine drinks, instant noodles, ham sausage ~ cross batch: legs closed.
In class, my buddy is cutting fruit, cutting and cutting. Suddenly he paused the game, and his hands rubbed against his clothes because of sweating. I asked, "What are you doing?" He raised his head, raised his hand and said to me faintly, "sharpen the knife!" " "
Answer: "Do you know the asterisk used for swearing masks?" B: "Yes, why?" A: "Nothing, I just keep thinking, what does the American flag say?" B: "..."
If Mozart, Beethoven, Debussy, Chopin, Schubert, Tchaikovsky, Haydn, Bach, Handel, Vivaldi, dvorak, Cherny, Brahms and Rakhmaninov were all alive, I would surely gather them at any cost and ask them two questions: First, what kind of rhythm is the most swaying? Second, what kind of songs are the most enjoyable?