Now, more and more parents realize the importance of parent-child communication. But in the face of children, we often make irresponsible remarks, which makes both sides angry and sometimes even affects the parent-child relationship. In the final analysis, this is the problem of our communication style, and we didn't put the words in the children's hearts. Then how can we get the words to the child's heart? listen to

When the child came back from school and saw his mother cooking, he said, "Mom, when I went to physical education class, my baseball gloves disappeared."

Wrong way of communication:

While cooking, my mother said, "What's the matter? Did you look for it in the playground?" Have you looked in the lost and found office? Did you tell the teacher? "

The child explained, "I put it next to my schoolbag and it disappeared in a blink of an eye ..."

As soon as my mother heard this, she began to say, "How many times have I told you to take care of your things? You are always forgetful! " "

The child said impatiently, "Mom, stop it!" "

"I said you to make you remember!"

Correct communication methods:

While cooking, my mother "stretched out" her ears and responded: "Oh ..."

The child continued, "I put it next to my schoolbag."

The mother continued to cook and leaned slightly towards the child: "Oh, yes."

"I'm afraid of losing it, but I still use my schoolbag to hold it up. Why don't I ask my uncle at the gym tomorrow, maybe he will pick it up. "

Mom immediately responded: "Well, I think I can give it a try.

In the process of communicating with children, parents should first listen attentively. When things at hand can't stop for a while, you can use a simple "oh, oh, really?" I see. "Respond to the child, and the child can immediately feel concerned. In the process of talking, he has been able to clear his mind and even began to seek some solutions. We didn't miss the opportunity to communicate with our children because of "multitasking".

Describe how ta feels.

The daughter said to her father in dismay, "Niu Niu transferred to another school today. She went to an international school."

Wrong way of communication:

Dad said, "Oh, never mind. There are so many students in your class. "

"No, she is my best friend." My daughter began to be unhappy.

"You will have new good friends soon." Dad continued to try to comfort his daughter. But the daughter is not happy. Why is it that the more you say nothing, it doesn't matter, the more sad the child is?

Correct communication methods:

Dad said sympathetically, "Are you sad that your good friend suddenly transferred to another school?"

"Yes, she is the best friend in my class!"

Dad went on to say, "I know you two are very close." After school together every day, we go to English remedial classes together. "

The daughter also went on to say, "Yes. It seems that I can only see her in the remedial class in the future. " Dad nodded: "Yes, you can also learn English together."

The daughter said with a little excitement, "That's not bad. I will listen to her tell me what an international school looks like and see if her English is getting worse. "

When a child is respected as an independent individual, not forced by his own will, can feel his feelings, and even describe his feelings as a response, the child can really get comfort.

Communicate with children's thinking.

The son begged his mother to say, "Mom, I want a mobile phone, too."

Wrong way of communication:

Mom responded: "What kind of mobile phone do children want!"

"Lei Lei has it in our class!"

"That's because his home is far from school, and his mother uses it to contact him." Before the son could speak, the mother added, "You can play games on your mobile phone, which is not good for your eyes and is not allowed in school."

The son won't let go: "I want it, I want it!" " "

"Don't argue, this matter is not negotiable."

The son was angry: "Mom, you are so annoying!" " "

Mom is also angry: "Does anyone talk to adults like this?"

Correct communication methods:

The mother took the child by the hand and asked softly, "Do you want a mobile phone?"

The son said timidly, "Lei Lei has one in our class, and I want one."

Mom replied, "Yes, it would be cool if I had a mobile phone in my hand."

The son immediately took it and said, "Yes, there are many games in it."

Mom said, "Oh, there are many games. If only those games didn't hurt your eyes, and the teacher wouldn't say anything. It is best that the screen is as big as our TV. If it is bigger, it will be bigger. If it is smaller, it will be smaller and can be put in your pocket. "

"Mom, I will definitely invent this thing when I become an inventor in the future." My son has begun to conceive his new invention in his mind. "Forget it, I don't want the mobile phone first. Obviously, the mobile phone was confiscated by the teacher."

When children make some "unreasonable" demands, we should not rush to preach the truth or even refuse to establish rules. On the contrary, if the child's desire is satisfied and then the child's attention is diverted by fantasy or exaggerated description, it will be easier for the child to face the reality when he feels that he has gained the understanding of his parents.

Feeling is directly related to behavior. If children have good feelings, they will have good behaviors. Therefore, parents need to learn communication skills if they want their children to have good behavior. First, you should learn to listen, understand the child, accept his feelings, and then communicate with him in a thinking way, so many things will get twice the result with half the effort.