It should be "speak slowly and be kind", which means: it is best to speak slowly and be kind-hearted.
Speaking reflects a person’s wisdom. Especially young people, because of their lack of life experience, often suffer when speaking. In "The Analects of Confucius", Confucius said this: "There are three mistakes in serving a gentleman: saying something without mentioning it is called impatient; speaking without speaking about something is called hiding; speaking without seeing the color is called blindness."
“If you say something before you say it, it is called irritability.” When it is not your turn to speak, you rush to say it. This is the problem of being “irritable”. One day, Confucius had a chat with some of his disciples and asked them to talk about their ambitions. Zilu was impatient, and before Confucius could finish his words, he began to talk eloquently. But Zilu never expected that his expression of emotion would cause Confucius to turn around and give him a sneer, with his warm face placed firmly on Liang's ass.
This tells us that speaking is an art and we must be cautious. Throughout history, there are countless people who have offended others and even paid a heavy price because they said the wrong thing. Speech should be slow, which tells us that we should think carefully before speaking. This can make us more cautious, steady and calm, and cultivate our mature personality. Secondly, the tone of speaking should be soothing, so that the listener will feel Respected, friendly, and more comfortable.
Be kind and be kind to others, and you will be rewarded. "Mencius" says, "A gentleman has benevolence in his heart and etiquette in his heart. A benevolent person loves others, and a polite person respects others. Those who love others will always be loved by others; those who respect others will always be respected by others." A kind-hearted person is willing to help and save others. Distress. People around him are willing to interact with him and are more willing to help him. "The Tao Te Ching" says that the way of heaven has no relatives and always associates with good people.
A kind heart can generate a person’s yang energy. There is a famous saying in our Chinese culture: “Doing good is the happiest thing.” Everyone knows these four words. Usually, when people read these four words, they don’t pay much attention to them because they regard them as a traditional dogma and words of encouragement. In fact, no, human psychology is very strange. If we do anything bad, we will feel uneasy, unhappy, and feel wrong inside. This uneasiness and wrongness is not towards others, but towards ourselves. Gradually, our face and look will become worse. , the spirit got out of shape. If you truly and unconditionally do good deeds, help others, benefit others, and do a good deed, you will naturally feel very happy. That happiness cannot be explained theoretically.
The short story of "Speak slowly and be kind":
In the spring of 77 BC, it was the golden age of the Han Dynasty. In Changyi City, Shandong Province, there are many wine shops and merchants, creating a prosperous scene.
Taipinglou is the busiest restaurant in Changyi City. Next to the window on the second floor, a young man wearing a green cloth gown with a fair and handsome face occupied a small table by himself, with two plates of side dishes and a pot of white wine. The young man poured himself a drink and looked out the window intently from time to time, with a hint of worry between his brows. Outside the window, the willow color is fresh and a small river flows through the city.
This young man’s surname is Wang Mingji, from Langya, Shandong. He was originally the magistrate of Yunyang County. He was well-known for his knowledge and wisdom. Three months ago, he was transferred to the Changyi Prince's Palace as a lieutenant. He was promoted from the seventh rank to the fifth rank.
However, although Liu He, the king of Changyi, was the direct grandson of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, he was dissolute and moody, and he was surrounded by some sycophants. Although Wang Ji has been promoted, it is hard to say whether it is a blessing or a curse to be an official under such a master and to have such a group of colleagues!
My ambitions are low and the interpersonal relationships around me are complicated. This time when he came to Taipinglou, Wang Ji drank to drown his sorrows.
After half a bottle of white wine, Wang Ji was slightly tipsy. He suddenly noticed that an old man at the next table was smiling and raising a glass to signal him. The old man is plainly dressed, elegant and friendly. Wang Ji fell in love with him as soon as he saw him and quickly approached him for advice.
The two tables merged into one, and they talked about poetry and history and hit it off immediately. In the blink of an eye, the bottle of white wine was empty.
The old man picked up the wine glass and drank it down in one gulp, and asked tentatively: "My little friend, you seem to have something on your mind?"
Wang Ji was speechless after hearing this.
The old man smoothed his long beard, pondered for a moment, and then asked: "Is my little friend now engaged in business or an official?"
Wang Ji replied respectfully: "It's a good idea to be born late. The magistrate of Yang County has always been diligent and well-known. Three months ago, he was suddenly transferred to the Changyi Palace as a lieutenant. The people in the palace were unfamiliar, so he was a little troubled.
The old man's eyes lit up, and then he laughed heartily: "You don't need to elaborate, I understand everything." I’ll give you three words that will ensure you have a smooth life from now on. "
"Which three words? "Wang Ji's face was full of doubts.
"Speak slowly! "The old man looked at Wang Ji and said these three words slowly, with deep meaning in his dark eyes.
"Yan Yiman? "Wang Ji savored these three words carefully, as if he had some enlightenment.
When Wang Ji came back to his senses, the old man had drifted away and disappeared.
From there From then on, Wang Ji kept the old man's teachings in mind, worked diligently on government affairs, and thought before he spoke. In the undercurrent of the Changyi Palace, he was safe and sound.
Because of his low profile and hard work, he was safe. In 73 BC, Wang Ji was appointed as an admonishment official by Emperor Xuan of the Han Dynasty, specializing in reviewing political affairs and impeaching officials who had failed in their duties. At this time, Wang Ji became an important minister in the court, with a high position and a powerful family.
When he calmed down, Wang Ji often thought of the old man on the Taiping Tower. These three ordinary words "speak slowly" really benefited Wang Ji a lot.
BC. In 1967, Wang Ji returned to his hometown of Langya to visit relatives and passed by Changyi City. Suddenly, an old man claimed to be Wang Ji's old friend and stood in the middle of the official road, asking to see Wang Ji. Wang Ji got off the official sedan. , he saw an old man with a graceful beard and elegant hair, looking at him with a smile.
It turned out to be the old man on the Taiping Tower 10 years ago. Wang Ji was overjoyed and bowed forward. "Ten years ago, on the Taiping Tower, I received a lesson from my seniors. It can be said that being born late will benefit you throughout your life. Wang Ji bowed his head to the ground and said loudly, "Thank you for your teachings, senior." "
The old man laughed loudly and stepped forward to help Wang Ji up: "Ten years ago, I gave you these three words, which have guaranteed your smooth flow for 10 years. Today, I will give you three more words. If you can obey them, they will keep you worry-free for the rest of your life. "
When Wang Ji heard this, his expression immediately became solemn, and he asked the old man softly: "What three words? "
The old man leaned close to Wang Ji's ear and whispered softly: "The heart should be kind! ”
Although the voice was soft, Wang Ji heard it, but his heart was shocked, and cold sweat dripped down his back.
Over the years, although Wang Ji has been serving as an admonishment doctor in general, he is still He could serve the people diligently, but occasionally, Wang Ji would join the party and oppose dissidents, and use his power to impeach political opponents. For example, Zhao Luo, the chief minister, was maliciously impeached by Wang Ji because of his political disagreements, and was finally dismissed from office and returned home. Soon he fell into depression. Finally.
Wang Ji wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and looked up, only to see that the old man had drifted away and walked far away.
Wang Ji reflected seriously after returning from the visit. Looking at what he has done in the past few years, the more he thinks about it, the more ashamed he becomes.
From then on, Wang Ji seemed to be a different person, always strict with himself no matter what. , good-natured, upright, kind and generous.
According to later generations, the old man in Taiping Tower lived in seclusion in Changyi and was famous during the reign of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty. Prime Minister Gongsun Hong
“You should be slow in speech and kind in heart. "This classic saying has been passed down by Wang Ji as a rule of the Wang family from generation to generation. All Wang Ji's descendants must listen to it and act on it with caution. From the Eastern Han Dynasty to the Ming and Qing Dynasties, during these more than 1,700 years, Among Wang Ji's descendants, it is clearly recorded in the "Twenty-Four Histories" that 36 people were named queens, 36 people became princes-in-law, and 35 people served as prime ministers.
The Langya Wang family is also Therefore, it has become the most prominent family in Chinese history and is known as the most prominent family in China!
Yes! You should be slow to speak when you are young, so that you can think carefully and avoid making mistakes, so as to protect yourself and seek development. . When a person reaches his prime, his mind is mature and his strength is strong, he should be kind-hearted. Only in this way can he have fewer enemies and be respected by others.