When I was browsing aimlessly with my mobile phone, a beautiful and sad avatar quietly appeared in front of me. This gentle and sad girl with glasses looked at me silently, like a melancholy lilac, quietly opening in the night sky in late autumn.
It's already midnight, the buildings in the distance and nearby stand coldly, and the lights of thousands of households are dim. Cars are still coming and going on the road, and the flashing neon lights are still blooming beautifully. I poured a glass of wine, lit a cigarette, smoked and drank quietly, silently chanting: Hui Hui, are you okay in heaven? You must fly happily!
Hui Hui is this beautiful girl! This girl who is still silently waiting among my WeChat friends! A girl is actually the mother of a six-year-old child, only a few years younger than me. When I am used to being the boss, I habitually call her "girl" and "girl"!
Actually, I don't know who Hui Hui is. I still don't know her full name. I know her out of a promise to Xiao Liu, a volunteer friend of mine. Liu Ye Jr. is a kind girl with a sentimental heart. After accidentally joining the language of spring, I participated in several public welfare activities and chatted several times. Seeing that I can talk, she is a natural optimist. Suddenly one day, she said to me: I have a close classmate who has cancer and it has all spread. Maybe there are not many days left. She struggles in pain every day. She used to be cheerful and kind, and her popularity was good, but now her friends are slowly leaving, and a few people don't know how to persuade her to comfort her. Parents are worried, but friends are chilling. Seeing that you are so talkative, can you spend some time with her so that she can let go of the burden of thinking and walk a little easier?
I smiled helplessly and didn't know what to say. But I can't be sorry for the nickname "King of Heaven", so I said, "No problem, I promise to make her happy in her last days!"
So I added Hui Hui's WeChat. She has been lying in bed for many days, and her mobile phone has become the only tool she can communicate freely with the outside world. Xiao Liu said that Hui Hui's family and friends knew about her illness, so they only kept it from her, hoping that I wouldn't find out that she was just a common and curable disease.
But Hui Hui is a doctor himself. How could she not know her illness? We didn't talk much on WeChat. She said she didn't have much time. Although family and friends comforted her, she was well aware of her illness.
It's better to let go than to cheat. So I began to take out my specialty of boasting mountains and seas, telling the rivers and lakes of young people and dangerous people from Schopenhauer's philosophy, and guiding her to look down on everything with my outlook on life that life and death are only separated by a wall. It is better to live a happy life than to live a miserable life.
Hui Hui said: Actually, she is not afraid of death, but she can't worry about her daughter and parents. I said there are too many troubles in life, but what should I do if I can't let them go? There are flowers in spring and moons in autumn. What should come will always come, and what should go will always go, but sometimes the order will change in a certain time and space, so why can't we let it go?
Maybe my special way of chatting really worked. Hui Hui smiled on WeChat! She said: This is the first time she has been happy for some time. I said it's okay. I'll talk to you later. As long as you are unhappy, come to me, I will chat with you, and I will come to see you when I have time to make you happy, even if I am afraid to leave, I will have a good time!
During that time, while I was working, I opened the WeChat on my computer, for fear that Hui Hui could not find a place to get rid of the pain. Sure enough, several times, when she felt uncomfortable, she sent me a message asking, "Brother Tianwang, are you busy?" I know this is a signal that she is beginning to suffer. Even if she is busy, she will say "idle" and then chat with her easily. Fortunately, I have the specialty of being single-minded and not influencing each other, otherwise I am really sorry for the wages of the party and the country.
I tried not to talk about her illness, and talked casually. The host's millet and the monkey in the sky are talking happily, and giving leads her. Hui Hui is very happy, but sometimes there is no sound when chatting. I know she doesn't eat or drink now, and she retches and even vomits blood from time to time. Without information, it is either too tired or too painful. Don't bother her any more, silently close WeChat and pray for her for a while!
After chatting for a few days, I decided to go to see her with Xiao Liu regardless of Hui Hui's obstruction. I met Hui Hui for the first time in the ward. The poor girl is lying in the hospital bed, very weak. She was very happy to see me, saying "Brother Tianwang" and thanking me for chatting with her these days to make her very happy. Her mother accompanied her and was grateful to know that I was the "king of heaven" who chatted with her daughter. She said that Hui Hui finally saw a smiling face recently and could eat something. Thank you very much, which makes me very sad.
Even in the ward, I still talked about Kan Kan everywhere, trying to make Hui Hui relax. I also wrote her a poem to comfort her with a relaxed style. "I am afraid that tomorrow, the world will collapse/we will face it with a smile!" "In fact, I am not an optimist. I am sentimental in my bones, even a pessimist, and I have an extreme desire for death. But I have to take out my optimistic style against my will and keep shifting her pain.
Can the pain be transferred? Later, Xiao Liu and I visited Hui Hui several times. Every time Hui Hui chats happily with us, she suddenly shows pain, then vomits and closes her eyes to suppress the pain from Juan. At this time, I quietly closed my mouth and dared not add any more pain to her. Sometimes when we help her sit up and change her dressing, she grabs my hand, which is pale, thin and cold', which reminds me of what she looked like when she died.
Hui Hui is suffering more and more. After all, I am just a spiritual helper. Cancer can't be cured by doctors all over the world. How can I be expelled by my broken mouth? Hui Hui won't let us see her. Maybe she had thought that she would suddenly leave and didn't want us to see the moment of her death. Hui Hui's parents are still grateful for our visit, but they have repeatedly reminded us not to take things or spend money. But Xiao Liu and I said privately: Anyway, as long as Hui Hui is still alive, we will accompany him!
But Hui Hui finally left! When Xiao Liu told me the news, I said we should go to see Hui Hui off again.
When we arrived in the ward, there was no one in the room, only the flowers we sent were still quietly telling the story of a beautiful girl fighting the disease here by the window. I called her husband and she said she was in the ICU room, doing the last work and making the last effort. In fact, Hui Hui has left, but her family is still unwilling. ...
We waited anxiously in the corridor, Hui Hui's relatives came, and the men sat or stood, smoking from time to time; The women talked to each other and burst into tears from time to time. Hui Hui's mother either stood or sat blankly, or talked to the window from time to time, which was a sign of her mother's cold heart. Hui Hui's mother told me that Hui Hui thanked my brother before she left, which made her happy in her last days.
I have a desire to cry, but I also have a kind of relieved happiness. There is always death in life, and the course of our life is the process of waiting for death. Why be too persistent? It is better to die happily than to live in pain!
I really don't want to stay in this sad air. I took Hui Hui's daughter down the stairs and walked along the building. The lovely child didn't know that her mother had left. She said that her mother was going far away and would not come back for a long time. She suddenly said she wanted to pee, and then she disappeared in the blink of an eye. When I searched anxiously for a long time, she suddenly came out of the corridor. She said that she had just been to her mother's department. She used to take her to play, but later she took me to play. ...
Lovely child, I wish you would always be so lovely!
When Hui Hui's body was pushed out, it was covered with white sheets. Hui Hui's mother fainted at that moment and was carried down the hospital building by her relatives. We put Hui Hui in the car, accompanied by her family, and went to the emergency room to visit her mother.
I know that she has finally left this world forever, and finally there is no pain forever. ...
The next day, I took volunteers to pay homage to Hui Hui and sent a wreath in the name of volunteer service in Spring Language. I silently made three stacks of paper for her and silently blessed her: girl, bon voyage!
Years slowly disappear, like a faint wind, how many days have passed in an instant. The dead are gone, but the tears of the living are still there. Xiao Liu said several times, let's go and see Hui Hui and pay tribute to her! I said yes, but I was busy and missed it! I've been dead for a year.
Paying homage can only be a sign of missing. Will Hui Hui see it? I don't know. I am an atheist, and I clearly know that ghosts and gods are always nonsense. But I would rather believe in the existence of ghosts and gods, which is the embodiment and extension of love!
I didn't delete Hui Hui's WeChat. Xiao Liu once chatted with me and asked me when I could write another poem for Hui Hui. I said ok, but after writing, we will delete her WeChat and let her put her mind down and go back to her space. But the poem was not made, and I don't know what to write! Wechat is still there, and there is no other information about her in the space, only a sad photo. Here is a sad signature: "Isn't there a kind word?" Overhead, a cartoon girl opened her eyes wide and looked at the world with a hint of helplessness and sadness!
Everything will pass, the night is like the sea, and several glasses of turbid wine are fluttering with my thoughts. Looking at the gray sky outside the window, I can't see the trajectory of the stars. It's late autumn, and the air is full of sadness!
Have another glass of wine and wish each other out of the window: don't be afraid, girl! There is love in the world and love in heaven! Let go of your troubles and fly freely!