Scene 1: Classmate A: Hoo, finally escaped! Classmate B: Yes, it took the teacher a quarter of the time to finish talking about the changing world! In other words, we need to spend a quarter less time buying incense ... classmate a: if only the boss could pick us up on the seven-color cloud! Classmate B: Obviously this is impossible! Let's go quickly! Scene 2: Two students want to sneak into the Internet cafe and are caught by the boss: two students ... classmate A &；; B: Why? Boss: Nothing. Do you have an ID card? Show it to me if you have it; If you don't show me, how do I know you haven't? I didn't know you had it until you showed it to me. But it seems that you have one, too. How can you come back to me without you? Now that you're here, that means you have it, right? If you really don't want it, I can't force you, can I? Participate in ... classmate A &；; B: Oh ~ ~ ~ Scene 3: Two people are fighting fiercely in the Internet cafe. B: Let's go! Let's go Let's go Classmate A: Bandits are all AK47! Flush the sewer! Classmate B: There aren't three! Bandits, three heavy guns, suspension bridge! Suspension bridge! Classmate A: Throw grenades and lightning! Classmate B: B: Is C4 buried? Guys, go to section a! Classmate A: Be careful, the policeman behind is angry! Classmate B: Don't be afraid, I have helped you get rid of him! Classmate A: Two people rushed through the political door, and M4 came out of the middle door! Classmate B: Who bought the scissors? ~ ~ ~ Oh! B3 1 Good throw! Classmate A: Pick up MP5 and rush out! Classmate B: The machine comes out first to scare you! Classmate A: The terrorists won! Scene 4: Boss: Oh! Captain, what brings you here? Long time no see! Come on, let's sit here for a while, have a cup of tea to warm up and have a cigarette! Captains: No, it's a routine. How is business now? Have students been allowed in these two days? Boss: Thanks to you, this small business is thriving. Look at the bustle inside! I thoroughly implement the above regulations, and there are absolutely no students in it! Captains: Oh? When did you become so filial? Let me see! Scene 5: The team leader starts to check, and the boss follows, hiding everywhere. Suddenly, the battalion chief saw a&; B: How old are you two? Classmate A: Tired, let's meditate together ... ~ ~ ~ ~ (Classmate B starts Joe's makeup) Classmate A: Hehe, what do you think? Captains: What about you? Classmate B: (The voice can be bold) Me, I am forty years old. Commander: I'm forty years old. Why is my skin so white? Classmate B: I maintain it well! Haven't you heard: Rhapsody of July Flowers? Captains: A flower? Um ... (turns to the boss) Commander: What's the matter with you? How do these two students explain? Boss: They? Um ... They ... Um ... Hey, how did you get in here? ! Commander: Don't play dumb with me! How do you enforce the newly promulgated regulations? ! Boss: Right, right, right. I see, I won't dare next time! Captain: Well, I won't punish you for your first offense, but I'll fine you 5000 yuan. Student A whispered to student B: Let's run. Captain: Hey! Two children, come with me! Student a &；; B: I left gently, just like I came gently and waved my mouse, leaving only a brilliant record! Follow-up: ... Big Brother, give a young and healthy kowtow ... Answer: Scene (character: Guo's ex-girlfriend extras) (location: a school) (Guo crouches in the middle, and his ex-girlfriend walks up to Guo with a group of people wearing masks) Ex-girlfriend: wax gourd! Guo: We asked you out today. Why did you bring so many people? Hey, today is special. Guo: Nothing special. F: Because I have something interesting to tell you today. Guo: What? Former: I read a book these days called "We were lovelorn together on graduation day" and I liked it very much. So let's break up! I graduated from high school anyway. Guo: What! (All the extras hate Guo) (There is music at this moment-"Birds") (Guo holds his head and squats down) Before: Then let's break up! Let's go (Leading everyone down) (Music ends) (A monk walks by) Monk: grocer. how much is it? Guo: 555 Monk: Fifty cents? It's so cheap (monks still go for 50 cents) (lights out) Act II (location: university campus) (characters: Guo and Jin Daxi) Guo: This is the old story of my last love. Nothing was left but shameful memories. Kim: Can't you look on the bright side? Just talk about scars, but don't remember good memories, affairs and the like. Guo: Remember I'm not sure! I'm telling you, you won't kill me, will you? Kim: Oh, how come? I'll castrate you at most. (comparing the movements of scissors) However, I probably know how you feel. Guo: What? Kim: Only the memory of scars. Guo: Do you people in the psychology department have to talk about such a profound topic? What do you mean, "memories with only scars"? Kim: Dead benzene, let me give you an example. I was bitten by a cat when I was a child. Every time I see a scar, I think of the pain of being bitten, but the cat that bit me has long forgotten what color and species it is. Understand? (Guo shakes his head) Pig! In other words, man is a stingy animal. Once injured, he will firmly remember the wound, and he will remember everything better than that memory. Even more than the cat itself that caused this wound. Guo: (looking around) Go. I don't believe it, because all cats in the world look the same. Look at that Hector Lequitte and his friends. If it is a person, you will never forget it. It should be the same. During the Cultural Revolution ... Guo: What a big poster (pointing to a person holding a poster of Jay Chou) is Jay Chou's! Kim: (immediately forgetting what he said) Ah! Idol! (Looking at the poster) He is coming to Guangzhou to sing! I'm leaving. (A man wants to turn around and say hello) A man: Eh, what a joy, it's been a long time ... Guo: (Turning his face away) Don't move, I'll see when it opens. Hey, it is next month. You should have been able to buy tickets. Kim: Yes! Yeah! Then you line up for me! Guo: Of course. By the way, meet some female fans in Jay Chou! Hey hey. Kim: Whatever! Do you think anyone still values you? Only you, the melon. (Lights out) Three acts (outside the stadium window) (characters: Guo, Fang Wensheng, group performance) (everyone is waiting in various squares to buy tickets) Queue A: (Seeing the queue) Shit, queuing two days in advance is not the first! (Joining the team) (Guo comes out with a box) Guo: Bread, bread! Buy something to pad your stomach first. (Sold in turn) (Vincent Fang and his brothers) Fang: Shit! There are already so many people waiting in line. (At this time, Shi Rencheng crouched down and people on both sides blocked him. ) Brother A: That will have to be arranged! Fang: I don't believe it. I came, saw it, and plugged it in. (Fang said as he cut in line, just in front of Guo) Guo: Don't be so obvious if you want to cut in line, okay? Want to be shameless? Fang: (looking at Guo silently) ... Guo: You! (Fang smiled and gave Guo a hard push) (Everyone looked at Fang) (A man stepped forward and the team parted at this moment, revealing him) Man: Do you think this is Jinan canteen? Cut in line when you say it? Besides, you are not a teacher. Fang: Let me tell you, my name is Fang Gang. Man: It's no use. My name is Shi Rencheng. Everyone agrees to put Fang in the middle. "Fang Gang, can't you see that we are the dawn?" Let's send a pose together) Fang: (Stop) OK, OK, OK, I'll do it. (Everyone takes a seat and shouts, "I'm the first." When we arrived in Guo, it was already dawn. Conductor: Congratulations! You are the hundredth in our line. The company has a special discount and sells it at half price. Guo: Hehe, that's great. (After Guo bought it, it was Vincent Fang's turn) Conductor: You happen to be our 10 1 fan, and you can also enjoy a half-price discount. Fang: OK, OK, OK, OK. Conductor: (pause) Ah! Sorry, (bowing) I read the script wrong. You should have sold out by now. Fang: What the hell! Conductor: (grabs Fang's ticket) I can't help it People in the script have to bow their heads. (2) Party: Me! Depressed! (Jin Daxi appears) Jin: Winter melon! You bought it! Hey, that's great! Guo: Yes! Besides, I made a fortune. I happened to be the hundredth, and I got a 50% discount. Kim: Ha, we are so lucky. (Several policemen appear) Policeman: Stop. You! That man. Guo: Huh? P: You set up stalls everywhere, illegally operated, and were fined for coming here. Guo: No, police brother, I ... (I saw Vincent Fang's brother A as one of them at first sight): It was you who cut in line last night? Brother Jia: Don't talk nonsense. We Korean men all look the same. You must be mistaken. Guo: (recognizing B again) You pretend to be policemen! Brother B: Ah! Has been discovered. Brother a: let's go! Grab the ticket! (Punching and kicking B) (Two hands) (Music "A Hard Classic") (Guo turned around and saw a group of migrant workers of a moving company raise their money) (Music stopped) Guo: Whoever drives these fake policemen away, I will give him one hundred! (Several people on the other side hate Brother A at the same time) Migrant worker A: It seems that the other side earns a lot. Migrant worker b: yes! (see c) I can't say. (Music of Hamutaro) Migrant Workers C: (Stand up straight) Hunan Migrant Workers Corps will always be the partners of justice. Let's go, let's go. (Three migrant workers rushed to the fake police, and A took the money.) Migrant workers A: For justice! Migrant worker B: For justice! Migrant worker c: mainly money! (Fake police running) (Music stops) Guo: Annoyed! It is this Jay Chou who has caused so much trouble. Kim: Nonsense! People blame the knife for being blunt. (Lights out) (Guo: Su Daxi: Jia Nan Fan Shangfang: Wen Togo Ge Jia, B: Luo Jiaqing Shi Rencheng: Geng Zhichu Migrant Workers A, B, C: Jiang Bohu Duan Yongjie Ticket Agent: Tian Hongjuan Queues: Zhang small swallow Crimson) Four Acts (Jay Concert) (Guo Lindong, Jin Daxi, Group Performance, Jay Chou) (Lighting) () K: Oh, great. (Everyone is shouting "Jay Chou, I love you") (Everyone is shouting) (I can't stand it, facing Kim) Guo: This man writes lyrics and songs well, but he can't sing. Kim: Huh? Speak louder. Guo: This man can't sing! Kim: Speak up! I can't hear you. Guo: This man is no good. (Everyone is staring at Guo) (The lights are all on) ((Jay Chou starts to eat instant noodles) A: Woohoo, what did Jay Chou do? B: (walks over to comfort Jia and looks up at Guo) Get out! C: Look at you silly. I said you can't! Guo: Just go. Kim: Go by yourself! Do not pull me. When Guo goes out, he calls back "Jay is a fool" and throws something on the stage. (Jay Chou put it down and stood up, shouting "I kicked it away again") (Lights out) Act V (After the performance) (Characters: Guo and Jin) (In the background, Zhou got into a car surrounded by fans and left coolly. Duan Yu jumps out to ask for an autograph and pushes Zhou away) Kim: How could you? Have no tolerance at all? Guo: No, it's obviously a misunderstanding. Besides, what if you have no tolerance? Kim: No bearing, not a man. Guo: If it is not a man, it is not a man. Aren't you going to abolish me? Yeah, you save trouble. Kim: Don't make fun of me. What bothers you most is that you know nothing! Also, I have always liked some inexplicable jealousy. Last time I was a junior and a senior, this time I was Jay Chou from Class Two, Grade Three. I don't know if you will be jealous of the placenta next time. Guo: No, I told you it was a misunderstanding. Kim: I don't care! I must break up with you today. (Kim is angry) Don't follow me! I'm not kidding. Guo: (I tried to chase, but I stopped again. Squat in the corner and take off your hat. Whatever. (The fat man walks by and sees Guo. ) Fat man: Last time I saw you selling things, now you are a beggar. Oh, poor man. (Throwing some money on the ground, he said) (adding the music "Mantra of Compassion") The second sentence of the third line of Prajna Paramita Heart Sutra: All laws are empty, immortal, pollution-free, neither increasing nor decreasing, so the qi is colorless. (Music stops) Guo: (Looking up at the monk devoutly) Are you trying to enlighten me? What does this sentence have to do with me? Monk: (after waiting for a long time, he raised his head and said slowly) This-this has nothing to do with you. Donors should not be emotional. (After the kiss xiu, the music of "The Great Compassion Mantra" started again) Ha ha ha! Guo: (throwing shoes) Idiot! (Music stops) (Lights out) (Six acts (Ten years later) (Characters: Guo, You, Jin) (Guo sees the poster of the 15th anniversary concert in Jay Chou) Guo: Dead pig, so old, let's sing. Friend: bother him so much? Guo: That's right. I don't know why, but it seems that the university started at that time. Friend: For women? Guo: Maybe? It slipped my mind. (Kim walks by and sees him confirm) Kim: Wax gourd? Do you still hate Jay Chou so much? (With the music of "Li Wa", the volume is extremely low) Guo: (Looking at great joy and stupidity, speaking slowly) Who is the young lady ...? Do you know me? Kim: ouch! I am Kim Dae-hee! Have you forgotten? Your sophomore year belongs to my boyfriend. Guo: Sophomore? I like you? Kim: (dumbfounded) Sure enough, no matter how many happy memories there are. You still only remember the wound. (venting) Hum, you didn't believe this before. (looking at Guo, who is puzzled) Well, I mistook you for someone else (walked by). Guo: I have made a mistake. (End) Follow-up: I don't know what to say ... It's too long ... but thank you.