Half-opened windows, doors left unlocked, unsigned divorce papers were extremely cold in the dim light, and there was no temperature at all.

Lin Suer doesn't know how many times she has lost sleep in the past two years.

She felt that it was time for her to live, but there was always a breath in her chest. It's not that I miss this relationship After quarreling for so many years, she finally fainted from the cold, and she was tired of not having a real husband and wife life. But when I think about all the efforts I have made emotionally, financially, spiritually and so on over the years. In the end, there was only a thin, black body of Rhizoma Coptidis that I hated. She came up in one breath and couldn't go down any more.

Lin Suer turned over, pulled out a cigarette from the drawer of the bedside table and lit it carefully. With the spewing of smoke, thousands of thoughts come to mind, and those memories that cannot escape, melt or forget are all years.

Lin Suer met Jiang Hua at the age of twenty when she was in her prime. On that hot afternoon, cicadas clamored for a sultry summer.

Lin Suer drove the only Santana car in the village to pick up friends in town. It was also the first time that she drove out alone. Her father used to sit in the co-pilot and direct her. But after driving for half a year, Lin Suer has long been eager to drive alone. This time, she said some bad things and finally got her father to let her come out alone.

"Dad, it's just over the station, a few hundred meters away, don't worry!" Lin Suer said and jumped into the car. Then every time I think about it, I wonder if the ending would be different if she hadn't driven out alone that time.

The car went out of control and rushed to the green belt at the corner, hitting Jiang Hua, who was carrying a big bag of luggage and walking in a hurry. A bang broke the silence of summer and Lin Suer's heart. Now that I think about it, she was lovelorn that summer.

Lying motionless in a pool of blood, Lin Suer has lost the ability to shout. She doesn't know if her heart is still there. She only knows that she can't help shivering and keeps repeating a sentence in her mind: Did I kill someone?

The village is not big, and the car has just left the door. Lin Suer's parents got the information soon. Amid all the noise, Lin Suer finally recognized her parents' voices. She is sticking to her mother's chest at the moment, and her mother comforted her softly: It's okay, people are okay, don't be afraid, parents are here.

Lin Suer finally cried with a wow.

Fortunately, Yueyue was sent to the hospital in time, lost blood, and her face gradually recovered. Every day, Lin Suer goes to the hospital to visit Jiang Hua with the soup cooked by herself. In the long run, the two gradually became acquainted. Originally, Jiang Hua came to a county to look for a job. His hometown just came last year, and a building was built in his hometown during the Chinese New Year. So, Jiang Hua came to his hometown, thinking that he could work hard for a year or two, go home and build a big house, marry a wife and have a big fat boy.

When Lin Suer heard that she was looking for a job, she took the liberty of letting Waters work in her father's factory. There are twenty or thirty people in his father's factory, not much more than you and not much less than you.

Lin Suer doesn't know it herself. In fact, from then on, in her subconscious, she wanted to pay for the car accident, and the fare was her life.

Jiang Hua went to work in Lin Suer's father's factory. I am really young and willing to work, and I have encountered the expansion of the factory, from the previous 30 people to more than 100, and I have updated from the factory to the company. In less than half a year, Jiang Hua skipped the group leader and was directly promoted to the position of department manager to manage the employees of a whole workshop.

Such a rapid promotion, in addition to affirming his ability, there are also some gossip that the boss is looking for a son-in-law for himself. The boss has such a good condition, but he only has an only child, so he is definitely unwilling to marry her. This is to find a son-in-law to adopt.

This gossip is not groundless. On Lin Suer, I did get a little close. For such a big accident, Lin Suer has been trying to compensate for it for the first time. Of course, the most important factor is the prime of life, and the hormones that have nowhere to put them. Therefore, Lin Suer fell in love with water.

It is said that women chase men, not to mention chasing Jiang Hua for nothing, when he was still poor. At first, Lin Suer's parents strongly disagreed. However, Lin Suer could not resist the threats of crying, making noise and fasting. After all, she is an only child. She was afraid that it would break in her hand and melt in her mouth. First, Lin's mother compromised, and then Lin's father couldn't bear the crying of the two, and finally agreed to this marriage. The only requirement is that the man must live in the woman's house and cannot take their little daughter anywhere else.

I agreed to this request without hesitation. About a year later, Lin Suer and Jiang Hua got married.

At first, married life was also very sweet. Jianghua tolerates and dotes on Lin Suer everywhere, and also travels with Lin Suer everywhere. Youxi is the backup director of the company at this time. Now that he has married the only daughter of the Lins, the Lins will definitely hand over the company to Lin Suer and Youxi.

Lin Suer took a sip of his cigarette, put out his cigarette butt, walked to the table at the door and stared at the divorce papers in a daze. When did the trajectory of life change? When did your world tilt? Is that when she had a curiosity attack and turned over Jiang Hua's mobile phone? Or did Jiang Hua lose control and hit himself after drinking? That slap seems to still hurt now; Or because they don't have emotional ties? Son?

Yes, they have been married for almost five years and have never had children. Two years ago, Jiang Hua often comforted her, saying that even if she had no children, it didn't matter and she could adopt them. Just when she was really ready to give up and try to adopt a child, on didn't reply. Since then, they have quarreled more and more, and sometimes a very small thing can turn into a family war.

Just like that day, they watched TV while eating, because Jiang Hua liked the first girl and Lin Suer liked the second girl, and they had a fierce argument. Finally, they didn't even finish their dinner. One slammed the door and the other fell asleep.

Gradually, the more they quarreled, the later the water came back.

Lin Suer probably guessed something in her heart, but she has been deceiving herself about the answer, even forcing herself not to think, as if nothing would happen without thinking. In fact, Lin Suer is afraid of change and abandonment, because her life is so smooth, so she can't accept any change in her life from the bottom of her heart.

In fact, Lin Suer secretly went to the hospital without telling her family. At that time, it seemed a very shameful thing to go to such a small county to see such a department. So I went to the hospital alone and came back secretly. Fortunately, the result of the exam made her very satisfied. The doctor said there was nothing wrong, except that she was a little too thin. Let her eat more to tonify her body, and then give her some medicine to tonify her body.

However, the little hope that I just ignited in my heart was wiped out by a slap on the river.

After Lin Suer came home from the hospital, she made a big table of dishes waiting for the flood, but she waited for the flood to come back, and the dishes were heated again. Finally, Lin Suer fell asleep on the sofa in a daze. I don't know when Lin Suer heard that Jiang Hua was back. She rubbed her eyes and got up to meet her. However, before she could stand firm, she was slapped head-on and almost knocked to the ground. She was wide awake, her eyes were red and full of alcohol, and she looked at the water in disbelief.

"Don't you want the whole world to know that you can't have children? Did you go to the hospital? You say! " He shook his body, bared his teeth and growled at Lin Suer.

It turned out that Lin Suer was so anxious to cook when she got home that she forgot to put away the hospitalization list and tonic. She ran into the room in shame, locked the door and cried.

Hearing Lin Suer's crying, Jiang Huajiu seemed to be half awake. This is the first time he hit his wife, and he seems to think he has gone too far. So he went to the door, apologized to Lin Suer, and even knelt down outside the door and begged Lin Suer to forgive him.

Lin Suer was held in the palm of her hand since she was a child. I have never seen such arrogance, and immediately opened the door to the waters.

But what she didn't expect was that the water didn't come home all night the next day. That night, Lin Suer learned to smoke because she couldn't sleep at night.

Lin Suer took the first cigarette shaking, and then choked to death, but the more she coughed, the more she smoked, as if to suck the whole cigarette into her lungs and choke herself to death.

In tears and a runny nose, Lin Suer finally fell asleep gradually, holding half an unfinished cigarette in her hand.

At last, Yueyue didn't go home at all. Looking at her emaciated and sad daughter, Lin's mother finally questioned the cause of the incident, because they didn't live with their parents and their daughter's character of reporting good news but not bad news. Only recently did they discover that something was wrong with her daughter.

Mother Lin heard that her baby daughter had been wronged so much and regretted not keeping her daughter with her. On the other hand, Fu Lin said angrily that he would expel Jiang Hua from the company and let him go back to his hometown. Gnashing my teeth makes me want to eat the water alive.

However, they just remembered that on hasn't been in the company for quite a long time. Because he is everyone's default successor, everyone dare not offend him. Of course, no one reported it, and no one took it to heart. He didn't come to work. In their eyes, this river is already their second boss. The company is like the boss's home. Of course, he can come and leave whenever he wants.

After some investigation, the Lins found that Waters had established his own company, and the company that opposed their company in the last two years was Waters' newly established company.

Later, Jiang Hua came to see Lin Suer several times, for no other reason than to divorce Lin Suer. Lin Suer knows there is nothing to miss, but she just doesn't want to sign it. She just has a sigh in her heart and can't make this man so happy. Why did she lose her youth and get rich? In the end, she was left with a lingering body, and he could live a happy life with bulging pockets because of the Lins. The most hateful thing is actually his sentence: if you are not born, our hometown is still waiting to have grandchildren. If it's not born, what's the use!

Lin Suer gnashed her teeth with hate: I just won't sign it, how dare you commit bigamy!

Lin Suer began to lose sleep all night and lost a lot of hair. She heard that women lose a lot of hair when they have children. They are less than 30 years old and have never had children, but they are 40 years old. Going out with unmarried girlfriends of the same age, people may even think that they are mother and daughter.

After that, she went out less. Her parents asked her to move back to live with them, but she didn't want to. Therefore, parents can only hire a nanny for her.

Help yourself to some nanny's cooking during the day. This nanny is famous for her delicious cooking. Many people want to invite her at a high price, but Lin Suer really can't eat anything special. After a few bites, she put down her chopsticks and smiled bitterly at herself, as if eating any more would spoil the delicious food.

In the evening, Lin Suer sat in front of the big French window on the balcony and stared at the sky. Sometimes it was all night, and sometimes it was almost dawn. I climbed back into bed and continued to be in a daze until I fell asleep.

The rings of the years have gone again, and Lin Suer's smoking posture is becoming more and more skilled. Although she still suffers from insomnia, she seems to be used to this kind of life, just as an owl is used to the night.

The divorce agreement was sent again, but he no longer sent it in person, but by a lawyer friend. Looking at this divorce agreement, Lin Suer felt a little chest tightness.

It is said that Jiang Hua has lived with his secretary, and she gave birth to a big fat man on Jiang Hua last winter. Last winter, the north wind was very cold, which was very different from the past. Lin Suer, who is as thin as a paper man, lies in bed all day. The room is air-conditioned and the bed is covered with an electric blanket. She is still shivering under the bed. At this time, she thought, Yueyue must be around the stove in her hometown, holding her son and laughing!

Thinking of this, she "wow" had to knead the divorce agreement into a ball and throw it into the trash can. Fuck you, Jiang Hua, and fuck your fat son! One day I will sue you for losing everything and see how you raise your son!

Crying and cursing, Lin Suer picked up the divorce papers, and she began to laugh, first gently, then loudly, and finally hissed and tried to laugh.

Laughter echoed in the dark and empty room, which was creepy.

Lin Suer lit another cigarette, which is her third cigarette tonight. The smell of smoke sobered her up.

What Lin Suer left for herself was a pair of glasses. Her cheekbones were raised high because of emaciation, and her cheeks were deeply sunken. Because of smoking all day and insomnia all night, my skin becomes yellow and dry. Is this still the confident and lively Lin Suer? What do you owe him? Is it worth paying for him?

Break up, even if you live alone. Maybe even if I die here, Dashui won't change her mind. I still have parents who care about her all day. In recent years, my parents are getting older and have more and more white hair. Every time she looks at her parents' slightly wrinkled and quickly stretched eyebrows, she is not unaware that her parents have broken her heart.

Lin Suer put out her cigarette, took a deep breath, looked at herself in the mirror and gently rolled up her hair. Although thin, I can still see some beauty and beauty on my forehead.

She picked up a pen and solemnly wrote her name on the divorce papers. Write more carefully than before.

Five years later.

"Sue, have you heard? Jiang Hua's son was hit by a car in front of his house the other day and needed blood transfusion. Guess what? The blood types of those two people don't match. It is said that the river was so angry that it was necessary to have a paternity test at once. It turns out the child is not on the river! Hello? Hello? Sue, are you listening? Hello? " Lin Suer had already put the phone down, and the whole person was sitting flat on the sofa, feeling surge of emotion surge.

Suddenly two lines of tears fell from the corner of her eye. She didn't know whether it was for herself, for water, or for the child who didn't know who his father was.

"Wife, eat more. You eat two people by yourself now! " Geng Xiaoyao said to Lin Suer while picking up food.

"Okay, okay, I will eat. It' s really embarrassing. " Lin Suer smiled and took a bite of Geng Xiaoyao's meat. There is an obvious blush on her face, which is the shyness that the girl can't hide.

This paper is supported by Wenhai Forest Project.

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