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Spoof Andersen's fairy tales
Bigfoot bar, HP version of Andersen's fairy tales

The Little Match Girl

Character introduction:

Director: Me (Dream)

Narrator: I (have a lot of work)

Little girl: Sirius (don't fight)

Match 1: Night (also known as grapes)

Match 2: Residual wind (also called leaves)

Scene 3: The Moon (also known as Apple)

Scene 4: Jia Jiaxiu's daughter

Beggar: Archer (don't ask why)

Chengguan: Snape

Roast goose: Ron

Christmas tree: Harry

Grandma: Lucius (stop fighting)

Cleaner: Fred, George

Director of Street Office: Hermione

Trelawney

Passerby: Zhan Mu Luping.

Ok, let's start the text!

Narrator: It's terribly cold. On New Year's Eve, in the cold and dark, a handsome guy came (drooling constantly).

Everyone: no favoritism! Pay attention to the image!

The director immediately wiped her mouth and continued: she put these four small matches in her pocket (everyone: can you put them down? ) Xiaotian ... No, the little girl found a corner and sat down gracefully, (so handsome, drooling ~ ~ ~)

Everyone: pay attention to the image! !

Urban management: Hey, hey, hey, watch out, no stalls! Offenders will be confiscated!

Little girl: Dead nose is none of your business! If I sit down, you will die! Snuff! Snuff! Snuff essence ...

Urban Management: Without james potter to help you see what you can do to me! Bad dog! Bad dog ...

Zhan Mu: You snotty bastard dare bully Sasquatch. See how I punish you! )……

The following 30,000 words are omitted from the three-person quarrel quotation ~ ~ ~

Director of Street Office: Fred, George! Don't sweep the floor

Cleaner: Why us again? You are younger than us. Hermione, are you talking to your brother?

Hermione: Because I'm the prefect, no, because I'm the director!

The three men finally stopped quarreling.

Sirius shouted: Sell matches, come and buy them. ...

Before the words were finished, the bitch poured a basin of water on her head: Be quiet on Christmas Eve! Oh, no, son, I see this cloud over your head. Do you have anything unknown, son? Oh ~ ~'

Narrator: Then a beggar came over.

Beggar: Oh, Sirius, my idol, I love you and I want your signature! ! !

Director: Pay attention to the image! You are a beggar! (Everyone: Hey? She also knows to pay attention to the image, right? )

Beggar: Oh, don't listen to that bitch. She has predicted that I have died a hundred times. Am I still alive? My idol, I want your signature! (The director threw a pot cover and the beggar fainted on the spot ~ ~)

Director: Drag down! ! ! ! ! ! ! Poor archer was carried to the door like a corpse, shook it twice and threw it out.

Narrator: Then two passers-by came.

Little girl: buy matches. You two can buy matches if you are interested! (Everyone: Why is it a bit hard to buy and sell? )

Zhan Mu suddenly let out a cry and his eyes lit up: Lily, I see Lily, dear Lily, I'm coming! Say that finish and fly over.

Sirius shook his head: Remus, it's up to you!

Lubang: Dude, it's not like you don't know. I'm so poor that I haven't eaten for days. I'm so poor ~ ~ ~

Sirius: Hey, Moon Face, I didn't know New Year was so bitter. I haven't eaten for a long time. Don't be hungry. Come on, I'll give you a match to chew. Then I gave it to Lubang.

Narrator: At this time, the little girl was hungry and cold. He lit a match (that is, he rubbed the night's head on the wall, rubbed it on the fire and burned the night's hair). He put his hand on it to keep warm. The fire is so beautiful and warm (night: ouch, that burned my hair). Hey, what happened? The match suddenly went out (PS: actually, the hair in the dark night burned! )

Sirius picks up match two (Leaves cry: I don't want to be the second night, whoops ~ ~ ~)

Director: It's so noisy. Bring me the lid! Knock on the back of the head of the leaf and it will be quiet at once.

Match 2 also lit (the hair of the leaf burned successfully), and the light on the wall suddenly became transparent. He saw exquisite bowls and chopsticks on the table, filled with plums and apples, baking Ron with a fragrant smell. Even more amazing, this baked Ron jumped out of the plate with a knife and fork on his back and walked towards him. Suddenly, the match went out again (the hair of the leaves was burned).

He struck a match three times (Jia Jia was knocked unconscious), and suddenly, Lucius flew over on a broom.

Sirius shouted in despair, How can my grandmother be you? I won't go with you, I'd rather sell matches!

Lucius: You think I want to!

Narrator: The little girl sat on grandma's broomstick and pulled it happily with grandma.

end

Knowing that he had made a mistake, the director slipped away before everyone came ~ ~ ~

Snow Prince:

Long, long ago, there was a country called the windy country on the far northwest continent. The king and queen of this country have a daughter and a son, but they want to have another child.

One day, a rare heavy snow fell in this windy country. Queen Galileo sat by the window sewing clothes and accidentally pricked her little finger. A drop of bright red blood drops along the sewing needle made of sapphire on the snow outside, red and white, which is very eye-catching. When the queen saw this scene, she couldn't help being moved.

Queen: "Oh, what a beautiful color! I really hope that God can give me another child ... with red hair as beautiful as blood, skin as pure as snow and clear eyes as sapphire. God, please grant my wish! "

Not long after, Queen Galileo became pregnant. After October, she really gave birth to a boy with red hair, blue eyes and Snow White. Unfortunately, the queen died shortly after the baby was born. The queen named her child "I love Luo" before she died. It is said that the queen happened to remember her first love (alas! Who has no morality to throw rotten eggs! 55555 hit people too hard, it hurts. Of course, the king was very angry at the teasing behavior of the queen before she died, and vented all his anger on her newborn little love! 55555 ... Poor little love lost her mother when she was born, and her only father turned a blind eye to him, so that she could only live in uncle Yashamaru's castle every day.

As time goes on, the little guy becomes whiter and cuter, and the maids up and down the castle like it very much. Every day, they go to pinch Xiao Ai's steamed stuffed bun face and give him the title of "Snow Prince". Because the maid always steals Xiao Ai when he is asleep, people dare not sleep every night. Over time, a pair of panda-like dark circles appeared on Xiao Ai's clean little face, and even his eyebrows fell off because of long-term lack of sleep! Well, should I thank the maids or fly the plane? Complex feelings cannot be expressed in words-.............)

Blink of an eye, six years have passed. On the prince's sixth birthday, the king remarried.

The new queen is a very strange person. She is beautiful, but her body always smells of danger. The ladies-in-waiting hate her, and the birds in Liancheng Castle don't want to sing to her. Strangely, the king listened to the words of such an unpopular strange queen, and the domestic political power was gradually mastered by the queen.

The queen has a secret little black room, and even the king can't go in except herself. There are many strange alchemy equipment in the darkroom, and there is a very magical mirror. This magic mirror is the only dowry that the Queen brought from fire nation. As long as you ask a question in front of this mirror, it will definitely tell the questioner the truest answer. The queen goes to the darkroom to look in the mirror every day. Every time she looks in the mirror, she asks the mirror the same question:

"Mirror, mirror, who is the whitest and most handsome person in the world?"

"Of course it's you, the whitest and most handsome orochimaru in the world."

The queen was very satisfied. She knew that the mirror would never lie.

One day, the queen came to the dark room again. As usual, she stood in front of the mirror and began to ask the question that had been asked countless times.

Queen: "Mirror Mirror, who is the whitest and most handsome person in the world?"

Mirror image: "... Kao! Ask me the same question every time. Would you please be creative? "

The queen stretched out a long scary red tongue and hung it on the frame: "Damn, where did you get so much nonsense?" Answer my question honestly, and I'll beat you if you dare to play tricks! "

Mirror: "O.O. ....................................................................................................................................................................... But, Queen, I have to remind you that your little son has surpassed your touching beauty! "

The queen's lime-like face grew paler and paler, and she pressed her tongue directly on the mirror.

The poor mirror gave a miserable howl, and after a few seconds it broke into countless pieces of glass. It's amazing that you can break a good mirror, Queen. ...

After leaving the darkroom, the queen couldn't swallow this tone after reasoning. It called Count Yashamaru, the uncle of Prince Snow White, and ordered him to teach the little prince a good lesson, and then exiled him to the Konoha forest belonging to the Fire Nation.

Yashamaru was very embarrassed. He has always liked that kind and lovely little nephew. But the queen's orders cannot be disobeyed ... considering that my sister died because of this child, it is not too much to punish him a little. With such self-deceiving thoughts, Count Yashamaru returned to the castle with a heavy heart.

That night, Yashamaru invited Prince Snow to enjoy the moon at the Terrace Hotel. The innocent little prince didn't know that disaster was coming, so he happily accepted his uncle's invitation.

(Moonlight shines on the terrace)

Prince Snow trotted to the Terrace Hotel. Who knows that he was greeted by a sharp knife!

Tears of sadness and bright red blood flowed down the little prince's round face, and Yashamaru hardened his heart to continue his incomplete work.

Ten minutes later, a blood-red word "love" suddenly appeared on the left forehead of the little prince, and his heart was broken. ! ! Dead queen, rotten queen, smelly queen, don't think that carving on Xiao Ai's white little face is disfigurement! The little love engraved with "love" is more handsome and stylish than before. What a pity! ! ! )

Later, Yashamaru still couldn't make up his mind to exile the six-year-old prince to Konoha Forest. He continued to raise the little prince in secret and taught him the skills of manipulating sand. However, from that night on, the little prince closed his heart and the maids never saw the smile on his face again. Over time, people who have seen him still call him "Prince of Snow", which means "Prince as cold as ice and snow".

As the days went by, the hateful fate refused to let the poor child go. One day six years later, she carefully lived in seclusion because of a paper exile judgment issued by the Queen herself.

Before Prince Snow left, the Queen invited him to the square to watch the execution of Count Yashamaru. Facing the queen's arrogance, the prince chose to leave this sad place silently.

Woody forests are lush, and the gifts and threats of nature coexist organically here. The tree is full of delicious berries, but who knows what kind of beast crisis is hidden under the tree?