I have always felt that my personality is like that of my father, outgoing and cheerful, sociable and have many friends.

But I know very well that I don’t have a best friend that I have known for ten years, and I don’t have a best friend who complains and goes shopping whenever something happens. I only have you.

But you are not a person in friendship. I don’t lack friendship. What I lack is the only ones like best friends and childhood friends.

Getting along with my roommates in school and falling in love with my friends in the broadcast department are my home, my belonging, my friends and relatives in a certain sense.

But as soon as I got home, no one came to meet me except you, and I didn’t have the heart to meet anyone else. It’s not enough to accompany you.

Or just being alone, I don’t want to talk much at home, I hide in my cabin and do all kinds of things I want to do, and no one disturbs me when I have wild ideas. You will definitely say that everyone has such lonely moments, doing their own things alone is normal and inevitable. I've always thought that way, so I've always thought that my personality is like my father's, and I don't inherit anything from my mother.

Just thinking about it carefully, I am not the same as my father, and it is not that I have not been influenced by my mother.

My father was a soldier, and some of his comrades would still get together in twos or threes after twenty or thirty years. There are also a few classmates who I still keep in touch with. Especially the two best friends in junior high school. Now all three families know each other. They are usually busy and occasionally chat on WeChat. They make an appointment to get together every year on the third day of the Lunar New Year. This year, they are absent for the first time due to the coronavirus.

My mother is the exact opposite of my outgoing father. It can be said that she is a rare person who is very withdrawn in interpersonal communication. It's not that she doesn't like to talk and is introverted, or she doesn't like to make friends and doesn't like situations where there are many people. When you were young, you might often hang out with one or two classmates. After work, apart from talking about work, you rarely talk about your family and family affairs with your colleagues, let alone have any friends. In addition, the people I know are relatives after marrying my father, his comrades and classmates, and their families. Most of them are people I met at the wedding banquet when I got married and met in person.

She really has no friends. She has never heard her mention her classmates or people she met when she was young that she still keeps in touch with now. No one has ever asked her out or just called her to chat if she has nothing to do. Talk about home life. In the past, I often teased her because she had no friends. But when I grew up and experienced so many acquaintances and separations, I realized that I am actually similar to her.

Whether you have friends or how many friends you have has nothing to do with emotional intelligence.

I am not a very talkative person, but I am more than enough to deal with ordinary interpersonal matters. I really like to meet new people and learn new things. To strangers, I may be considered a "talkative" to a certain extent, because I am very afraid of embarrassment. As long as he is not a particularly cold person, I think I can still talk to him. I am not as averse to parties as my mother. I can live with familiar people and can handle famous events. Therefore, people who know me will probably think that I am an outgoing, cheerful person who loves to laugh, and they will not associate me with being "isolated".

But in fact, when I am "isolated" Fading and appearing. For example, I would suddenly feel lonely, empty and boring at a party where I was having fun. I would find a reason to leave first, and I would be complacent about my "wise choice" to leave the hustle and bustle alone. I had long forgotten that I was full of enthusiasm at the beginning. When I was participating on the ground; sometimes when I had free time, I wanted to take my friends to have a meal, but when they wanted to take time to have a meal, I would put off doing my own small things; except for the important notification group of the school and college, the other group messages were basically I want to delete it when I see it, but I don’t care or participate, I just want to be alone; I obviously want to go to school with my roommates, but I walk faster and faster by myself...

My friends come in stages, as I said at the beginning. It has never been difficult for me to adapt to a new life and establish a new circle of friends. Many people still go to junior high school. I had a lively chat with my friends, and even talked on the phone with my roommates from high school when I was in college. I never seemed to miss the past so much when I entered a new stage, a new environment, and a new group of people. Even if I miss them, I won't take the initiative to contact anyone because of this.

It doesn't mean that I have forgotten all my friends and haven't heard from them since. I occasionally like them to see their latest updates and chat a few words. I have nothing to tell them or tell them about my new life, but I feel that everyone has a new circle and there is no need to keep in touch. Because of this, you will think that I am a bit withdrawn, cold and unkind, and have no contribution. Sincerely. Maybe, I don’t know why I just don’t like to contact my old friends. Even if I really cared about them, I no longer want to spend the time and energy to maintain them in a new environment. I have a place in my heart, and if they ask me for help, I will try my best to help, but I will not take the initiative to contact them, and I will even avoid them.

Is this considered "isolated"? I don’t have a single friend. I’m good at socializing, but not good at making friends. I’m good at getting to know each other, but I’m not good at keeping friends.

As a sensitive Cancer, I sometimes run rampant and crawl around in the world, and sometimes hide in a shell to isolate myself. The characteristics of my parents in interpersonal communication seem to be perfectly combined in me, but they are so contradictory.

There are always people asking: "Didn't you have a good relationship before? Why don't we keep in touch?" There are always people who will say: "We like the new and hate the old."

I don't know how to answer. . I have indeed been sincere and I have a clear conscience, and I do not want to contact you for some reason. It is not because people nowadays are more sincere than them.

I just feel that the past was good and the future will be even better; I just feel cheerful and lonely at the same time; I just have to learn to be a person in the end.