It is not difficult to find that punishment exists in every BDSM relationship, and D in BDSM is also the first letter of the English word discipline. In BDSM, abuse and maltreatment are all for fun. Why should we give them a serious punishment name? How to give and accept punishment correctly? Let's talk about the punishment of BDSM today. _
Why do you need punishment in BDSM? What role does punishment play in BDSM?
1 is conducive to establishing S's identity and dignity, and punishing this behavior can make M realize that S has the right to deal with M's wrong behavior. Being punished for his own fault, this causal relationship often reminds M of his behavior of being punished under the supervision of his parents when he was a child, which makes his parents feel ashamed, and at the same time gives M psychological hints about S's guardian status. Appropriate punishment can make S establish its own prestige, help both sides to better replace their roles and maintain their relationship.
2. It is beneficial to correct M's bad behavior. The behavior of punishment also has corresponding theoretical support in psychology. The definition of punishment in psychology is: a specific behavior occurs, followed by a result; So this kind of behavior is unlikely to happen again in the future (behavior weakening). The appropriate punishment behavior of BDSM can match the punishment theory in psychology and have a positive impact on M's bad behavior. 3. Improve the playability and sense of ceremony of BDSM. There must be a basis for taking punishment measures first, so a major premise of punishment is often that two people have concluded a master-slave contract or family rules. Punishing M's mistakes according to the master-slave contract or family rules can make S and M equally aware of the existence of identity in daily life, not just paying attention to it in training. Bookkeeping in daily life can also add a little interest to the activities during training. When s suddenly can't figure out how to do the next project, it is far more interesting to point out and punish the mistakes made by m last week than to be embarrassed or adjust casually. How should S be punished effectively and reasonably?
1, there must be a reason for punishment. Let's take an example: S had a bad day at work and went home to say to innocent M: How did you make so many mistakes today? I will punish you well! This is an invalid punishment. Another example: because M didn't obey the requirement of reciting 50 words every day, she got 50 times according to the rules written in advance in the family rules. This is an effective punishment. To sum up, we can see that in the first case, the punishment given by S is obviously to vent depression, while in the second case, the punishment given by S is to regulate M's behavior. The effects of the two are obviously different. The main purpose of punishment is to let M learn from it. S and M must make an agreement on the cause and result of punishment in advance, preferably in the master-slave contract or family rules. When M is punished, he should accept it completely and know clearly why he was punished. _
Tip: confirm by language and m before the punishment begins, for example, you will be punished for xxx. Or ask M: Why were you punished? This allows M to focus on the behavior he needs to correct when he is punished, instead of doubting S's concern and feelings.
2. The scale of punishment should match M's mistake. This problem is best stipulated in the agreement part of the master-slave contract. The punishment clearly marked in the master-slave contract shall be strictly implemented in accordance with the contract. However, when encountering some unexpected or new problems, it is necessary for both parties to coordinate and agree on an appropriate punishment. For example, M replied to S's message because he was naughty and late. At this time, strict sp is usually a little too harsh. For some principled problems, such as lying and betrayal, strict sp is not enough. This degree needs mutual recognition, and then M can really learn from his mistakes and realize his own mistakes.
3. Pay attention to the time of punishment. There is only one principle for the time of punishment: the sooner the better. It is not advisable to delay the wrong day at the latest. For some master-slave relationships in different places or with limited meeting time, a time for regular settlement and punishment can be agreed and unified settlement can be made. Timely punishment is also a way for S to show concern. If M violates the master-slave contract but is not punished in time, or S completely forgets the punishment, M will feel that S doesn't care about this relationship. And timely punishment can make M see S's concern and attention to this relationship, and make S willing to take the time to deal with his mistakes. _