Text |? Fat Cat? Source |? Guoguan (ID: guoguan5000)

Postpartum depression is not hypocritical, it is really sick.

Speaking of Zhao Liying, many people will think of the image of "Desperate Sanniang".

I shoot 7 movies a year and stay on the set 365 days a year.

Because he insisted on not using a substitute, he suffered back and knee injuries, and his weight dropped to less than 80 kilograms.

While filming a horse riding scene, I injured my lumbar vertebra and I have been unable to stand for long since then.

Even the day before giving birth, I was choosing the script in the delivery room.

She said: "Every actor has a golden creative period. When you have passion, act more and burn the passion for performance like a candle!"

However, even such a strong model worker in the entertainment industry sometimes cannot hold on.

Recently, Feng Shaofeng revealed in an interview that Zhao Liying’s personality became very sensitive after giving birth.

I am not as strong as before, and I can’t help but cry when I encounter little things.

One time when she was breastfeeding her baby, she turned around and found that Zhao Liying was crying. While crying, she said to him:

"Can you hold the baby a little more gently?"

Some media even broke the news that Zhao Liying had suffered from mild postpartum depression.

It is said that mothers after giving birth are on the verge of collapse.

This is not true at all.

Whether you are an ordinary person or a celebrity, pregnancy and childbirth will give your life a heavy blow.

No matter how strong a woman is, she will be vulnerable at this time.

Postpartum depression is not pretentious, it is really sick.

Some people think that postpartum depression is pretentious.

Just give birth to a baby. After the birth, there will be doctors and nurses to accompany you, and the confinement center will take care of you.

There are also family members to help take care of you, so you don’t need to worry about anything.

What’s so frustrating?

But the fact is that postpartum depression is really a disease.

As early as fifty years ago, psychiatrist Pitt.B proposed the concept of postpartum depression:

Due to the violent fluctuations of hormones in the body after childbirth, estrogen and progesterone break off. Reduced expression will cause maternal depression, which is uncontrollable.

The Chinese Association of Psychiatrists also has data showing:

In our country, the proportion of women who develop depressive symptoms such as low mood, pessimism and despair, and irritability after giving birth is as high as 50 to 70 percent. Among them, 50% of the mothers did not receive any treatment. ?

My friend Xiaoyu once suffered from postpartum depression.

After giving birth to a baby, she changed from a girl with exquisite makeup to unkempt and disheveled clothes.

When communicating with others, his eyes are empty and lifeless, and his words are absent-minded.

She told me: "I heard someone say that anti-depression is a war. I thought it was hypocritical at the time, but now I think it is true."

Due to extremely unstable emotions, Xiao Yu doesn’t want to go out or see anyone every day.

But when you stay at home, you are likely to feel lonely, lose your temper, have chest tightness, become sleepy, and cannot sleep.

Every night, sadness comes inexplicably, and then I can't help crying.

After crying, I fell into deep self-blame and contempt, feeling that I was the most useless mother in the world.

That period was a hellish experience.

This reminds me of "Wife's Romantic Travel", where Zhang Ziyi also mentioned the pain of postpartum depression.

She said: "In addition to enduring the psychological discomfort, I also have to experience the biggest pain in my life - breast enlargement."

Although the doctor also reminded her, during breast enlargement, Mastitis can be painful.

But I didn’t expect it to hurt to this extent.

You know, Zhang Ziyi suffered a lot of injuries while filming:

Her fingernails were ripped off, her ligaments were torn, her wire harness fell off and she fainted on the spot...

She showed no emotion to these pains.

Now I am complaining that breast engorgement hurts. You can imagine how painful this must be.

In addition, the caesarean section also caused Zhang Ziyi to suffer from severe constipation.

Kaiselu can only be used in bed, and it should be applied vigorously for an hour or two at a time.

The first time I got out of bed to urinate, every organ that my urine passed through felt like being whipped with a whip. It hurt so much that I couldn’t even feel the incision.

Most mothers will have this experience.

After they have just given birth, they are not only physically and mentally exhausted, but also emotionally fragile. They also have bad emotions such as crying easily, being upset, and worrying.

But even so, some people still like to attribute these to women's pretentiousness and weakness.

Whenever a new baby arrives, almost everyone is immersed in the joy of welcoming the child.

But mothers who struggle with postpartum depression alone are often ignored.

Having just given birth is the most difficult hurdle for a woman to face.

Chinese women are in a difficult position. They have just come out of the hell of childbirth.

Without any respite, I stepped into the most difficult hurdle in life.

In order to make it easier for men to understand, someone made the following metaphor:

You just broke several ribs on the operating bed, dragging the body that has not yet healed, and you can’t even get out of bed. Weeks later, I immediately threw myself into a job where I was on call 24 hours a day and had no experience at all.

If you fail to do a good job even a little bit, you will be held responsible by all outsiders and relatives.

Moreover, this job cannot bring you any income or future.

No man can accept such a thing.

But for women, it has become a matter of course.

As the biggest contributor to childbirth, mothers should receive more care and attention.

But after the child was born, he was suddenly abandoned by the whole world.

The child has become the focus of the family, and he can only endure the decline in family status and loss of dignity.

Host Li Jing said: "After giving birth, your body feels like a machine. All everyone discusses with you is your organs."

Others take care of you during confinement , just because the child needs to be fed.

If you refuse to eat food that contains milk, everyone will blame you.

Especially when the baby is hungry and you can’t express milk.

The pressure around you will make you feel extremely guilty, and you will feel that it is your own responsibility that your child does not have milk to eat.

In short, the postpartum mother is no longer an independent individual, but exists as a direct relationship with her child.

Many mothers quit their jobs to take care of their children at home, and face excrement and peeing every day, 24 hours a day, with no rest at all.

A new mother complained:

"After becoming a mother, many unseen collapses are hidden in the middle of the night."

The child would not fall asleep no matter how much he was coaxed. He was held horizontally, vertically, in the living room, in the bedroom...

He finally closed his eyes, and not long after he lay down, he started crying again.

Sometimes I am too sleepy and want to call my husband for help, but I sleep like a dead pig and cannot wake up.

In this way, I feel exhausted physically and mentally every day, become ugly and haggard, and my depression suddenly comes up.

But the people around you, including your husband, don’t care about your emotions, which makes it even more tiring.

Postpartum depression is inherently scary.

But the most chilling thing is that the people closest to him are indifferent to this, which makes the already broken heart plummet into the abyss.

How many strong women have died of postpartum depression

People often say, "One cannot understand the despair and collapse of a woman's postpartum depression without personal experience."

The other side of postpartum depression may be suicide.

Statistics show that 20% of postpartum deaths are caused by suicide.

In the country's first "Suicide Prevention and Self-Help Guidelines", "postpartum depression" is also listed as an important factor in suicide.

A few years ago, the news that a mother of two children in Wuhan committed suicide by jumping off a building caused a sensation across the country.

In the hospital, the 10-year-old daughter cried loudly and shouted "I want my mother", and her father held a baby who was just one month old in his arms.

What happened made the family very puzzled.

According to my mother-in-law’s recollection, my daughter-in-law was occasionally unhappy. But after all, she had already given birth once and was a strong woman, so she didn't take her psychological problems seriously.

Who would have known that on this day, she would suddenly rush to the balcony and jump off.

This news makes me very sad.

If the family could pay more attention to the mother’s mental health, the tragedy might have been avoided.

Unlike general depression, the scary thing about postpartum depression is that the suicides it causes often include infanticide.

In psychology, it is called "expanded suicide".

In Anyang, Nanning, a mother suffering from postpartum depression threw her child off a 31-story building after an argument with her husband, and then jumped off herself.

In Xiangtan, Hunan, a 31-year-old mother left a 10,000-word suicide note and jumped off a building with her two children under the age of 3. All three died.

A mother with postpartum depression in Huai'an, Jiangsu Province also revealed in an interview her child's despair when she was three months old:

"I gave him a bath, and there were two The first time I wanted to let go of my hand and drown him, I was still thinking about how deep the water level would theoretically be before he drowned. "

"After he dies, I will choose how to die. "

It is said that tigers are poisonous and cannot eat their seeds. These mothers died with their children, and they endured so much psychological torture.

But in Chinese families, mothers are always the least understood and least valued.

Everyone believes that during the happiest moments in life, one should be optimistic and happy.

How could his temperament change drastically and become a depressed, low-spirited, and unreasonable person?

How many bad-tempered mothers only discover the most unspeakable pain in their hearts until the moment they leave forever.

Husband’s care can effectively alleviate postpartum depression

Postpartum depression can often be alleviated, but the key lies in the husband’s care.

As long as a man does not act as a hands-off shopkeeper, share the pressure and let his wife know that he is not fighting alone.

Then, this bad mood can be shared.

Zhihu has a question: What is postpartum depression like?

The answer of netizen "Lucky Xiaoyuanzi" received 10,000 likes. ?

After the baby was born, my husband uninstalled the game and watched over the baby and took care of me in the hospital.

When the child goes to bed at night, he is still half asleep and half awake. He occasionally looks at the child to prevent him from choking on milk and vomiting in the middle of the night.

During that time, my husband was in a trance. Not only did he run errands during the day, he didn’t sleep much at night, but he absorbed my negative emotions.

We also have to deal with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems caused by unstable tempers.

Almost everything is taken care of.

He doesn’t get enough sleep and works too hard.

Soon he became taciturn, sullen and seemed depressed.

People talk about postpartum depression, but I didn’t expect that my husband became “depressed” after I gave birth.

Because I received good care, the situation became stable within a month. Slowly, he got better and became energetic again.

The child is currently one year old. The mother has a good personality and the father is very responsible. He often helps take care of the child. The family is very happy. ”

In the comment area, everyone expressed envy and appreciation, thinking that she married a wonderful man.

But I saw a trace of sadness.

Just imagine, even a man who is not pregnant and has no physical injuries is prone to depression while taking care of his children and wife every day.

How about a mother who has just been physically damaged?

If the man doesn't care about anything, the mother will have to bear the stress of lack of sleep, anxiety and fatigue. How can this be depression?

Therefore, a good husband should spend more time accompanying, communicating, and sharing housework.* **Take on the responsibility of raising children together.

Even if you are just a little considerate, it is a good medicine for postpartum depression.

In this era, women are too harsh.

Not only do you have to have children and take care of them, but you also have to work hard in the workplace and make money to support your family like men.

You must not be out of shape or slovenly, and you must remain "one." The exquisite look that a woman should have.

Especially after giving birth to a child, you must be a strong mother and shoulder the important responsibilities of the family.

What I want to say here is, women, you It's already excellent.

Don't demand perfection all the time. Lower your requirements for yourself a little.

This can not only reduce some burdens, but also save a lot of child care expenses.

Recently, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the first new drug for postpartum depression in history.

It only takes three days to significantly improve depression symptoms.

A course of treatment costs approximately RMB 200,000.

Seeing this price, I believe many people who are not depressed will feel faintly depressed.

Finally, I would like to remind everyone that yes. Women at home should be more caring and less blaming.

I hope that every family that welcomes a new life can give new mothers more attention, support and understanding.

About the author. / Fat Mao, Guoguan: A public account with good taste and connotation. Use culture to cultivate your soul and talk to the world with wisdom. Here, you can rediscover the charm of culture.