1. My wallet is like an onion, it makes me burst into tears every time I open it.

2. You can’t hide what you like to eat. Even if you cover your mouth, saliva will still overflow from your fingers.

3. I heard a conversation between a couple on the street today. . . . Woman: Do you want to be with me every day? Man: I think so. Woman: I also want to be with you every day, but I’m afraid Zhang Liang won’t agree.

4. When you are young, don’t despair because you have no money, because you have to know that there will be many days when you will have no money in the future.

5. After all, not every relationship you put in can have a perfect ending. That’s the case with mathematics and I

6. Stop singing about the rest of your life, girls don’t work hard Make money and don't give up to become beautiful. For the rest of your life, you will be the one cooking, doing the laundry, doing the housework, being the one who is rejected, and taking care of the children.

7. What is a sense of security? A sense of security means having money in your wallet, your electric car being fully charged, and your boyfriend delivering breakfast on time every day.

8. My girlfriend fell down. It was so embarrassing.

It was very funny. I quickly took out my mobile phone to take pictures. My girlfriend's face darkened: "While you were laughing, did you ever think about others?" I was stunned and quickly posted the photo I just took on Weibo.

9. If you skip one meal a day, you can save a lot of money over time, which can be used for gastric cancer treatment in the future.

10. Today a foreigner asked me for directions. I exchanged English with him and we were evenly matched. He didn’t understand what I said, and I couldn’t understand what he said.

11. Sometimes you don’t know how happy a person is if you don’t fall in love seriously.

12. People say I look shabby, but my mother is very fond of me. My mother said that when she took me to the park when I was a child, many people gathered around and asked my mother: "Sister, where did you buy this monkey pen?"

13. Parents can never tell the difference between explanation and back talk. To explain is to talk back, and to say another sentence is to make excuses.

14. Buyer: Boss, do you have any chocolate? Seller: Yes, Dove’s and Jindi’s. Buyer: I mean mobile phone! ! ! Seller: Oh, it was only after you reminded me that I sell mobile phones.

15. Falling in love is too expensive these days, Christmas, Christmas Eve, New Year's Day, Spring Festival... forget it, let's wait.

16. Wife: Husband, the typhoon is coming! You have to hold me tight, what if I blow it to someone else's house and they don't return it? Husband: You can pull me down! Just like you, people will send you back despite the wind!

Seventeen. I heard that peeing against the wind will make your shoes wet. I tried it today, haha, it turned out to be a lie. Stop playing, go home and wash your face.

18. It’s the annual Spring Festival migration again. The farthest distance in the world is not life and death, but the distance from the train seat to the bathroom.