Satire the signature of an ex-girlfriend

Hello,

1. Thank you for your lies, which compressed your life to one year;

When I was nineteen, I met the man who wanted to live forever.

The more vulgar things are, the more real they are.

Asking what money there is in the world will only kill people. ..

5. Women often buy beautiful clothes to attract men, while men often like naked women.

6. What's wrong with Fatty? It's better than thin people eating without gaining weight.

With your feet, we won't have to buy mosquito-repellent incense in the future.

8. Self-care for pain, self-wipe for tears

9. I don't want to keep so many records, and I have no heart.

10. You told me to go east, and I fucking forgot where the west is.

1 1. I am not arrogant, I am not fooling around, I am tired of all dependence.

12. How many people say or do things that they don't really want?

13. We are like two sides of the same coin. We will never be apart, but we will never be together.

14. I refused everyone's favor and waited for an uncertain future.

15. If it weren't for your gentle eyes, how could I fall?

16. Life is only the beauty of running away, not the glory of waiting.

17. I only went to QQ to wait for someone, but I was speechless when I arrived.

18. If what you say is always just a joke, then this joke will always exist in my heart.

19. The most desired love gift is not diamonds, roses or chocolates, but attention.

20. I discovered how important it is to write good handwriting when I pretended to be a teacher and signed a note.

2 1. Honey, you taught me to call everyone honey.

22. I made a promise, but time caught me in the air.

23. If one day, I suddenly disappear, will you ask me like crazy and say, Baby, don't leave me?

24. There are three kinds of friends in life: a lifetime, a cup and a quilt.

25. Hold hands for three years, and you can loosen them in three seconds.

26. If you are not a lifelong person, don't talk about it for a lifetime.

27. Stupid or not, see if you can play dumb.

28. If it is broken, it will be broken. If you barely stick it, it will be a scar. ...

29. I have gained weight recently. When I smile on the phone, my face will touch the hang-up button.

30. No tears, not necessarily no scars. If you don't talk, you don't necessarily have no heart.

3 1. I'm sorry. I am sad. As long as I say nothing, no one will know. .

32. I hate it when you contact your ex-girlfriend or even other girls.

I'm not a matchmaker, so don't let me introduce you day by day.

Please make it clear that I am not unwanted, let alone you!

35. I used to go to QQ when I was bored, but now it's boring.

36. A little nostalgia, a little nostalgia.

37. Tencent is really no ordinary pit.

38. I am not proud, but I don't agree with this world.

39. Did you play origami games in the southeast and northwest when you were a child?

40. Don't try to take off my clothes until you help me put on my wedding dress.

4 1. There will always be a woman who will make you willing to run errands for her and buy sanitary napkins.

42. Bed rest is my daily compulsory course.

43. As long as you don't think about it, superficial happiness is actually very easy.

44. Don't argue with me. Anything you say will be used as evidence to hurt me in court.

45. A person walks, a person stops, and a person enjoys a person's pain.

46. Someone asked me, if Xifeng and Ruhua fell into the water, who would I hit? I replied, whoever saves lives will be beaten!

47. Friends are not quantity, but quality?

48. If he falls, I will make him never stand up; If he helps me up, I will make him never fall.

49. I am always afraid that one day you will find that I am not as good as you think.

50. Life is like peeling an onion, there is always one piece that makes people cry.

5 1. Sometimes you need to step back, let go and remind yourself who I am and where I am going.

52. Some people are only suitable for remembering but not holding hands.

I am stubborn and don't know how to give up, but once I give up, I will never look back.

54. Another day. Struggle without goals is like walking dead.

55. Fate, I won't give in to you. You wait, I will, okay? ...

When the electric fan becomes a hair dryer, I feel that life is meaningless.

57. Walk alone, sleep alone, think alone and get drunk alone. A person is busy, a person is tired, a person is agitated, and a person feels.

58. The greatest failure in life is pride, and the greatest wealth in life is health …

59. There are some things, as long as you smile.

60. Enter in Baidu: Is there a more beautiful woman than me? It replied, sorry, it hasn't been found yet! !

6 1. Listening to English songs is rhythm, while listening to Chinese songs is mood.

62. It is enough to have me in my world.

63. Showing half your ass doesn't mean you are sexy, it only means that your underwear is small.

At the age of nineteen, I dedicated the best years of my life to you.

65. I divide myself into two extremes, either quiet or crazy

66. People who are most afraid of telling jokes laugh themselves crazy, and people who listen to jokes are more serious than usual!

67. Now that the price of coffins has gone up, I can't afford to die!

When the teacher is away, the classroom is the battlefield.

69. Today has always been the tomorrow that people who died yesterday look forward to.

70. I am in the late stage of narcissistic cancer and there is no cure.

7 1. Be nice to the people you meet when you climb up, because you will meet them when you fall down.

72. Ironically, every time you like someone, it will eventually disappear.

73. rival in love fell into the water, so we had to pee. ...

74. No matter how rebellious and free and easy a man is when he is young, he will work hard for a woman and a family sooner or later.

The biggest advantage of telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said.

76. Time is always day after day, and loneliness is always repeated.

77. Stretch and bask in the sun. Life is too short to be sexy.

78. What are the four classic novels? One is a story about fighting tigers, one is about catching goblins, one is about fighting, and the other is about teaching people how to fall in love.

79. If someone trips me, I will ask you never to get up and help me, and I will ask you never to fall.

80. Every time you laugh at others, you are hurting yourself.

8 1. You can't see me, but I've never been far away from you.

82. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough.

83. Your Majesty, I will wait for you to become a monster by Daming Lake.

84. My mother told my father that my daughter will have it, and so will my son-in-law.

85. I have been thinking that if I kidnap the headmaster, tie him to the bed in the school dormitory and give him a small fan to see how long he can live. ...

86. Sometimes, less muscle is better than more worry.

87. Memories are more suitable to be buried in the heart, and memories that are hung on the mouth are not called memories.

88. Bowing your head is not to admit defeat, but to see clearly the way to go.

I doubt that you will ever understand this play.

90. I won't let go, but I have seen through it.

9 1. It feels good to go to the farm to catch mosquitoes every summer, and finally I can lift my hatred.

92. Mosquito, if you push me, I will rub dichlorvos on my body.

93. When you take the test paper, buy a lighter.

94. I would rather cry in an air-conditioned room than laugh in the sun.

95. Friends are like people's money, real and fake.

96. I always thought that naked marriage meant getting married without clothes.

97. Everyone has a name in their heart that they dare not touch.