Writer: I am a...

Everyone: I am a writer. (Repeated three times)

Writer: I am a writer.

The King of Hell: Writer Liu, male, nonpartisan.

Writer: So far, I have created more than thirty works in different categories.

The King of Hell: He chose this kind of life because he thought writers could create various characters.

Writer: At the same time, every time a reviewer mentions me, he never forgets to add, "He has almost no nonsense words."

The King of Hell: Several top critics took turns signing the preface to his new work.

Writer: My works are absolutely clean, and dirty words are never allowed to appear in my works.

The King of Hell: He once protested against being named a children's writer, but he did not refuse the children's literature award awarded by a certain education committee.

Writer: My works have been translated into several languages, and they have reached all corners of the world and all classes.

The King of Hell: He became famous after one of his works was adapted into a 100-episode TV series.

Movie Fan A: Can you give me an autograph?

The King of Hell: In middle school, he was punished for fighting in a group. His first girlfriend in college later became his teacher-mother. He claimed that he would never cry when he was born, and he could face life with a smile no matter how big the storm was. .

Movie Fan B: Which work are you most satisfied with?

Writer: Next.

Hell: When he is nervous and overwhelmed, he will play with the lighter to cover it up.

Movie fan D: I particularly love reading your works. Can you write more?

Writer: OK, I will work hard for the motherland for another fifty years!

The King of Hell: Now, it’s time to do it!

Movie fan E: Ah, someone is here! Not good! He...he is dead!

Writer: Where is this?

King of Hell: Well, I don’t quite know how to tell you. Many times after I told them, they immediately fainted and I had to wait another hour before I could start my work. Do you think How about the affordability?

Writer: If you have something to say, just say it. For me, curiosity is not a problem.

The King of Hell: Well, I will satisfy your curiosity now. This is the famous underworld!

Writer: Underworld? !

The King of Hell: In other words, I am the King of Hell!

(The writer fainted)

The King of Hell: Hey... you said you were fine! I just don’t understand. I am the King of Hell, and I am not a ghost. It’s me who is seeing ghosts now. You say I’m not afraid, so what are you afraid of? If you feel weak, here's another chair. (Writer pulls up chair) Are you okay?

Writer: I...um...cough...much better!

The King of Hell: Let’s start now. Time is limited. Are you...writer Liu?

Writer: Just call me writer. As soon as you mention writer, everyone will know it’s me!

King of Hell: People like you say that. First, I decided we wanted to say hi to you, you died of a sudden heart attack.

Writer: Heart disease? impossible! I've never had this problem!

King of Hell: It’s not your decision, it’s up to me to decide! Besides, you trust the doctor who does the physical examination so much!

Writer: Then why didn’t they come? Why did I come? Why can't it be my turn? I only lack sleep, not food!

The King of Hell: Well - unfortunately, this is not something you can decide. The one who makes the decision is me!

Writer: Then you can’t just indiscriminately arrest good people and send them to hell, right?

The King of Hell: You have misunderstood, writer, you have misunderstood. I think it is necessary to clarify that this is the underworld, um, not hell. Hell has long been moved to the human world! It was me who saved you from dire straits, you shouldn't blame me so much!

Writer: I would rather live in dire straits!

The King of Hell: Hum hum… Writer, it’s not you who has the final say on this matter!

Writer: No no! My passion for art has not yet died! My pursuit of creation has not yet cooled down! The character I want to create is not yet formed! I won’t die in peace!

King of Hell: It’s just another death. Why should you miss your previous life so much? In fact, I think you will definitely be interested in what I am about to say. Although the work of bombing little ghosts as coolies has been moved to the human world, there must be someone to take care of the six paths of reincarnation and reincarnation. You shape the character, and I will shape the next life. ! Well...what would you like to do in your next life? Cuttlefish, rabbit or...?

Writer: Yama... Lord Yama, you must be kidding!

The King of Hell: What I say is well-founded. The fairness and impartiality you talk about are all just a pretense. I only believe that the mirror is high!

Writer: According to this logic, it is possible for me to become a high official in my next life!

King of Hell: Well, it is indeed possible.

Alas, if all the writers are reincarnated as officials, how many people will be left for you to control?

Writer: Let me say it again, writers should not add "we"!

The King of Hell: Oh? You mean, you are unique?

Writer: Of course, if you had not caused me a heart attack so early, the spiritual wealth I would have left behind would have been unprecedented and unprecedented. Alas, for now, I deserve it!

The King of Hell: Hey, you might as well mention a few of your most proud works.

Writer: Okay, let’s take that revolutionary historical novel as an example. The male protagonist is a reactionary young master, and the female protagonist is a maid...

The King of Hell: Ah, then the two of them... Love was born!

Writer: Don’t think I only have clichés in mind, ah, let’s take a look at the typical character of the maid first. Have you ever seen a maid like this? He dared to take the master's chair away when the master was not paying attention, and made the master squat on his butt.

The King of Hell: This is the first time I have heard of this. Hey, was it possible that there were maids like this in those days? Your theory seems to be that this typical character needs to match this typical environment.

Writer: The drunkard’s intention is not in the bar? This is just the beginning of subversion!

Maidmaid: Ah! (Takes out a pistol)

Master: What? ! What? ! So you are...

Maid: Yes, I am...

Master: No, I am not...

Maid: I am...< /p>

Master: No, you are obviously...

Maidmaid: I...is not...

Master: Why...

Maidmaid: I'm sorry...I have no choice but to...

Young Master: For so many years, no one knows who I am. I am...

(The maid shoots)

The young master: Ah, I am dead...

The maid: (taking the ID card) What! Why didn't you tell me earlier? Wake up, comrade! Wake up, leader! Honey!

Author: This work mocks the ideologically constructed revolutionary historical myth, and turns it into a business case with the help of undercover agents. It tramples both business and politics under its feet. More importantly, it makes people feel how sad misunderstandings and estrangements are! And what a pity it is to pass away! Therefore it is pure art!

The King of Hell: Interesting logic.

Author: And it is a transcendence of previous art. The means of transcendence are subversion and imitation. For example, the language and costumes can be thought of in "Thunderstorm". From the phrase "Ah, I am dead!" I think of Shakespeare. At the same time, it involves a series of metaphysics such as the identity of the signifier and the referent. ...Ah, I'm sorry! I didn't take your artistic skills into consideration.

The King of Hell: Hahaha, okay!

Author: What I am most proud of is the first-person participation in the narration of this period of history from real life. oh! That's him! He is not only the work of my intellect, but the narrator of all my works. His existence...

The King of Hell: Construct a complete civilized world of your own for you.

Author: Ha! ha! Not bad at all! You are so expert! This is because his presence has more room to play in works that reflect current real life. Hooligans, bustards, and ordinary citizens who have accomplished nothing. This is not to show off, but a true portrayal of real life in my inner world.

Old Madam: Yo! Isn't this Mr. Zhao? I haven't been here for so long. Have you gone to get rich? Tell me quickly!

Rogue: Isn’t money tight these two days? Didn’t I come to cheer you up just after doing a job? What do you think I do to you?

Old Madam: Yo, Master! Look at what you said, I owe you your care for this place. Isn’t this the girl who was just sent a few days ago? Like flowers and jade, I don’t know what you mean...

Rogue: What you are looking for is definitely right. Can I still not believe you?

Old Madam: Hey! OK! Girls, don’t wait!

Migrant workers: Is there anyone left in charge? I've been waiting for this for a long time, and I didn't even say hello!

Old Madam: Hey, sir, it’s your first time here. I don’t know whether you want to listen to music or...

Migrant worker: Stop talking nonsense! Find me your most beautiful ones.

Old Madam: Don’t worry! If our Qianhonglou is ranked second in this city, then no one would dare to be ranked first! Just don’t know how much you can afford?

Migrant worker: This...this...don't worry, I have no money at all!

Rogue: I’ll finish you off or not! I'm still behaving well here, what are you doing here? You are a gangster and I am a gangster?

Migrant worker: Okay, you just robbed me of my newly paid salary! It’s really a narrow road between enemies!

The King of Hell: Ah...I'm sorry, let me interrupt! I think this scene is more like a brothel in ancient times. Just look at what the madam said, that is simply...

Writer: Brothel... Brothel is no different from ancient times to modern times!

The King of Hell: Is there no difference between ancient and modern times? But according to my observation, brothels are not like this. Ahem, please forgive me for showing off my qualifications here. After all, I have been in business for thousands of years.

I also know a lot about this, ahem.

Writer: This... old... old... madam has an ancient soul.

The King of Hell: An ancient soul?

Writer: Art is always greater than life! The truth of art is always greater than the truth of life, especially this... real life that is within reach. oh! Apart from art, who can guarantee the absolute right to speak?

The King of Hell: Alas! So is it also a big challenge for someone like you to write a character like a gangster?

Writer: That’s not true! I have a life.

The King of Hell: Oh...that's it! well! I heard that you have also written romance novels?

Writer: A well-known fact is that love has been written down by the so-called senior masters. We, the later generations, can only find a way out through the influence of communication. But for me, this is not difficult. ...Take "teacher-student love" as an example:

Student: Teacher!

Teacher: What’s wrong?

Student: Actually...I have admired you...for a long time!

Teacher: What? You said you...have admired me for a long time? This...how is this okay? How can a student fall in love with a teacher?

Student: Teacher, there is nothing wrong with this, nothing wrong!

Teacher: You are still young, ah! You should focus on your studies, you know?

Student: Teacher, but I can no longer focus on my studies! You have occupied my whole mind and my whole heart. How can you tell me to concentrate on studying?

Teacher: Alas! I don't know what to tell you! Anyway you can't like me.

Student: Why, teacher? I understand, I know you are concerned. You are burdened with too many responsibilities, but it doesn't matter. I can wait, even if there is no result, I can wait. Teacher, I am willing to wait.

Teacher: There will be no result!

Female student: Even if there is a glimmer of hope, I am willing to give my whole life!

Teacher: There is no hope at all! I...I actually...like men! (Teacher hugs worker, student cries bitterly)

Writer: Look, I have made love novels rejuvenate. This is called turning stone into gold!

Migrant worker: I don’t want to!

Writer: Who is speaking?

Migrant worker: Me.

Writer: Why are you here?

Migrant worker: Ah, what a joke. How can I act for you if I’m not here?

Everyone: How can we act for you if we are not here?

Writer: This is? (To the King of Hell)

The King of Hell: A lonely ghost...

Maidmaid: Look at me, look at me, how do I look like someone who doesn’t use my brain to do things? , who would take a pistol and shoot his lover?

Young Master: If I didn’t talk nonsense to her at that time and honestly handed her the ID, would I have fallen into her hands?

Old Madam: Have you ever seen an old Madam who looks like me? Have you ever seen a madam dressed like me? Have you ever been to a brothel? Do you have a life? !

Writer: I don’t...

Rogue: Is there a life? Have you seen any gangsters who regard migrant workers as the targets of their robbery? !

Migrant workers: It doesn’t count if you torture me once. Every book tortures me once. Is it your turn or am I indebted to you?

Teacher: Why are we separated? It's revenge, isn't it?

Writer: Revenge?

Female student: You take revenge on your first girlfriend and your college teacher, but why should we be responsible for other people’s affairs?

Maidmaid: Besides, how could I do it without receiving orders from my superiors? ! Who is my superior? It’s him! Young Master: Will I order her to kill me? You are mentally retarded!

Old Madam: You said you didn’t frame me intentionally!

Rogue: You should fight me every time I see you! It’s not finished until you can’t beat him to death!

Migrant worker: Now I have no identity, no personality, no personality, I don’t even know what I look like.

If it weren't for this outfit, I wouldn't know who I am!

Teacher: We are in love with each other. For her, I can give up everything and take her far away!

Student: We were originally in love and vowed to grow old together, but you just dragged him away from me and let him pester a man all day long!

Old Madam: If you have the ability, don’t mess around!

Young Master: Slandering our regime as counter-revolutionary!

Teacher: I originally like women, I just like women, but I just want to like a man!

Student: Why did you separate us!

Everyone: Why! Why! You have no humanity! Why! Why! You have no humanity!

Writer: (stands up) That’s enough! I wrote about you! I shaped you! Who are you talking to now, talking to me? I asked you to kill him, but I let you get to know him before; and you were shot five times, but I let you sleep with him ten times before; and you, you like to be exactly the same as others, and you still What’s the value? Have you ever seen such a bustard who is fearless?

And you have liked women for so many years, let me give you a taste of what it is like to be a man! I look down on you! She is so earthy and you still like her! you! If she fucks him, won’t you become the leader? Why scold me?

Rogue: Stop talking nonsense

Writer: How dare you say dirty words.

Hooligan: Why should I not say bad words? Which gangster doesn’t use bad words? You are fucking sick.

Writer: The characters I create cannot use swear words.

Rogue: I don’t care, I just say it, I just say it, fuck it.

Writer: I wrote you, you are mine.

Everyone: (said in unison) I am mine

Writer: I wrote you, I shaped you, now you say you are yours, in order to design your character (Referring to a gangster) I spent so much effort. In order to prevent you from spitting out bad words, I didn’t sleep a wink for two days and two nights. When I wrote the part about your death, I was so sad that I yelled and my voice became hoarse. What do you say now? Say you are yours! You are mine!

Rogue: Fuck you! (Push the writer to the ground.)

(Everyone circles around the writer)

Everyone (alternately): I am an actor, and I play the role in your book.

I am the character, I play myself in your book.

Writer: Actor? Role? Own? Ah! (Kneel down)

The King of Hell: Mr. Writer...Mr. Writer

Writer (yelling): I just want to create one that belongs to me! for real! Unique character! ! ! ! I do wear a dazzling coat of fame, status, etc., but my fundamental purpose is simple! I got into group fights when I was a kid, so I got you! (Referring to the gangster migrant worker bustard, the three of them stopped). I had a failed relationship, so I got you! (Referring to students and teachers, two people stop) I hate being misunderstood and betrayed, and I hate separation between life and death, so I have you! (Referring to the maid and young master, the two of them stop) I was deceived by the cruelty and utilitarianism of reality, so I got you! I use my unforgettable life! To create an unforgettable and twisted version of yourself! But what I want to shape is forever! The only one! My character! From birth to death, every step is irreplaceable! There is no one before or since! is priceless! Best role ever!

The King of Hell: Then, let me give you a chance. If you were allowed to be reincarnated as the only, irreplaceable, unprecedented, and unmatched character you desire. Would you like to?

Writer: I do! If my death today is the only way for me to complete this role, if my reincarnation is the only way for me to complete this role (everyone stands behind the writer), (in unison with the writer) I am willing!

Writer: I am a...

Everyone: I am a writer. (Repeated three times)

Writer: I am a writer.

The King of Hell: Writer Liu, male, nonpartisan.

Writer: So far, I have created more than thirty works in different categories.

The King of Hell: He chose this kind of life because he thought writers could create various characters.

Writer: But my passion for art has not yet been extinguished! My pursuit of creation has not yet cooled down! The character I want to create is not yet formed! I want to shape the best! The only one! A role that only belongs to me, an unprecedented and unmatched role! If there is an afterlife, I would like to be my character! I won’t die in peace!

The King of Hell: Alas, why, for thousands of years, human beings have been writers. Why do writers always fail to understand that no matter what kind of happiness or misfortune they have, their own life is the most valuable and priceless treasure? , is irreplaceable. You yourself are a character that has never been seen before or will be played by anyone since.