It turns out that KFC is an Kaifeng dish ... I want to try it, too. )
2. The suitor shenlin presented a sculpture of an old woman to propose marriage: "This is Rodin's masterpiece in his later years. The old woman on the sculpture, once a maid-in-waiting who lost her beauty all her life, is now in her twilight years. Dreaming of eternal youth and beauty, clinging to endless happiness and love, seeing this pair of dead bones decline and die is unforgettable! ..... youth is ruthless. It is a kind suggestion to give you this sculpture. You can refuse me, not youth. "
(The end result is being knocked unconscious by the cake flying upstairs ... Such a stupid proposal method, coupled with the pursuit method of stalking, he is definitely not a Scorpio. )
3. Alec Su, the madman in the draft: "I can do anything, Judge Sister, it all depends on your choice today ... I will go to the show, I will go to the stage ... I want to be on camera, I must maintain a good relationship with the assistant director ... I must maintain a good relationship with the photographer ... even the fireworks man must have a good relationship."
(unique cheats of walk-on actors)
4. David, a stock psychologist: "I used to drive a Hummer, and my pulley is more expensive than yours." "They all said my name was Zhang Ting (daily limit) ... Then my dad came and the stock market crashed, because I called him' dad' every day and he called me' court', which together was' daily limit'."
The joke is nothing new, but it's ok to say it in David's accent. He didn't forget to tease his daughter-in-law with the phrase "I want to marry Teacher Guan".
5. Fan Wei, the golden bachelor: "Run with an orange" (just when everyone was dumbfounded, Fan Wei explained: knowledge is power, which led to laughter)
Heroine: "I have no feelings for you"
Fan Wei: "Feel it slowly and you will feel it."
Fan Wei: "Do you want to know the money in Cary?"
Heroine: "I want to know your age."
Fan Wei: "... 32 ..."
Heroine: "Is this all your age?"
Fan Wei: "... This is a ... part. "
Heroine: "Where is our foundation?"
Fan Wei: "People are afraid of being famous, pigs are afraid of being strong, men are afraid of being poor, and women are afraid of being fat. I have money, you are not fat, aren't we very basic? "
Heroine: "But I like Prince Charming."
Fan Wei self-effacing sitting on the sofa "... that's finished, they all call me dark horse fat man ..."
Others: "whoever gives me face, I will give him gold!" " ""Come out and be honest. " "The sea is vast, there are weeds everywhere, and when you meet flowers, why not look for them?" "I'm wearing a bulletproof vest and chasing you with Cupid's arrow." "To tell the truth to real money, telling lies can only take fake money. "
As expected, Fan Wei won the most laughter and deserves to be my favorite comedian. I look forward to his performance in If You Are the One.
6. Handsome traffic policeman Huang Xiaoming: "Great strides! Swing your arm. Why are you a thief when you run so slowly? " "Waist muscles alone can't play China football!"
(If it is a comedy, it is indispensable to satirize China football. Here, I have to mention the fans on the roadside. I want to emphasize that the old lady has a commendable spirit and drives in line.
The female anthomaniac who was punished was more direct: "Only 100 yuan, 1 salute, 1 signature, how valuable!" )
7. False cynicism is really infatuated with Deng Chao: "You are a living body with incomplete evolution, an alien with gene mutation, a murderer with septic tank blockage, a chimpanzee with imbalance of yin and yang, a cockroach, a semi-plant with decaying vitality, a living dinosaur that degenerates three times a day, and a raw material that is repeatedly destroyed in the universe. Even the amoeba can't survive on the keyboard you touched, and the saliva you spit is more deadly than SARS 100 times. Just look up at the ozone layer and it will be fatal.
(That's a curse for mixing melamine, but I think it's better to say that milk powder is mixed with melamine. )