"The joke that Ma Yun gave 1 million yuan to * * * was told to his daughter-in-law one day, and then he asked my idiot," Would you like to eat it? " She was silent for a while, and then said, feeding a family is a man's business. "The following is the content I brought, I hope you like it.
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1 * * * Husband sings to his wife, "Love you for ten thousand years." Wife: "Don't scold yourself, don't think about what can live for 1 thousand years in the world?"
2*** I couldn't overtake that BMW after all, so I just watched it go away in the sunset. It wasn't my engine that was bad, but my chain fell off.
3*** passed a crossroads that day, and I had a desire to fart. There happened to be a person pedaling a motorcycle, so I wanted to take this opportunity to cover up my fart. I didn't know that the noise was too loud. The motorcyclist thought that the engine had started and was about to leave when he put on the gear. That time, I was embarrassed.
4*** A: I've watched too many football matches! I know everything about football. B: Really? Then tell me, how many holes are there in the football net?
5*** King Kong is a * * * idiot; Have you ever seen a coconut tree grow bananas?
6*** galvanized coffins are certainly more durable, but wooden coffins are good for health.
7*** Lovers will eventually become house slaves, and those who have houses will be well.
8*** Every day, I will circle the calendar. It was not until Sunday that I discovered that my life had been an ellipsis.
9*** usually scolds you, but I won't know that I am both civil and military until I hit you.
1*** Every time I'm in a bad mood, I go to chat with the gossip aunts in the community. Generally, I can find out which building is worse than me in less than ten minutes, which is very healing.
11*** Today, in the hot spring dressing room, a little girl pointed at me and asked her mother, Mom, why does this aunt wear a bra? Didn't you say I couldn't wear it until I had breasts? Why can she wear it?
Professor 12 * * * asked: What are the similarities between rotten radishes and pregnant women? A student answered: It's all caused by bugs. Only get 6 points. Another student got full marks, and the answer was: it was all because he was late.
13*** In junior high school math class, the teacher talked about equation transformation, put his sleeves on the platform and shouted loudly: Attention, students! I'm going to transform!
when the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered to him, "sweetheart!" " The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."
15*** I saw a penny on the side of the road, and I was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm in my mouth. I'm sorry, damn it, who spit so round?
16*** Just a joke. Some people say that girls want to meet men like Sha Qianmo, but all they meet are killing thousands of knives! ! ! ! As a man, I have to stand up and be fair. We men don't want to meet girls like Hua Qiangu, but they all spend money! !
17*** One day, I heard a girl Khan proudly say to a girl with big breasts: I am proud of flat breasts, and I make cloth for the country. In the spirit of the joke, I said: You are flat-chested, you * * *, and you have put on a big piece of paper and cheated countless boys!
18*** One day: Xiaoming cried and said to his father, Dad, someone called me * * *. Dad roared: Then his son is the biggest in the world. Dad asked: Who scolded you? Xiaoming: It's Grandpa!
19*** Today, I finally know the disadvantages of watching more jokes. I confess to a girl who has liked you for a long time: I like you and be my girlfriend. She said: How long have you been in love with me? I replied shyly, I haven't been on it yet, I don't know.
2*** Ideal state: 4G watches videos, 3G watches pictures, and 2G watches paragraphs. Reality state: 4G mobile phones use the 3G network to do 2G work, but the TM can't load it!
21*** lz is engaged in snack business. This morning, a cute girl came to buy something, and finally settled the account. My sister asked if I could keep a dollar. I said in the spirit of jokes that I wouldn't want it. As a result, the girl silently took out a dollar and gave it to me.
22*** I still remember that when I was in the sixth grade of primary school, the math teacher dragged the class, and I was afraid to make any noise. My stomach ached all the time and I just ran home after school. As a result, I called the door for a few minutes, and when I opened the door, I stood still. My mother asked me why I pulled it. My mother laughed for a long time and often gave jokes to her friends. Let alone sharpening the knife, it was talking outside.
23*** The prince in the palace went to play among the people! A beggar in Lu Yu found that he looks like himself! The prince asked the beggar with great contempt, "Did your mother ever work as a maid in the palace?" The beggar replied angrily, "no, my mother has never been to the palace, but my father used to be a coachman in the palace!" "
24*** Me: "Why?" Girlfriend: "Hanging water in the hospital, stomach bleeding" Me: "Comfort bleeding? *** ! You have to wear a condom when there are thorns on the cucumber. "Girlfriend:" * * * Don't play jokes in the future, okay? "
25*** I have a buddy who loves to tell jokes. Once I saw a good joke in Mahua, the first thing I did when I came home was to rush into the room to tell jokes to my wife to make her happy. As a result, my wife lying in bed didn't react, and laughter came from the closet.
26*** One day I saw a joke saying that women don't wear bras in winter, so I wondered and asked my girlfriend: Do you women all wear bras in winter? My girlfriend slapped me without saying anything: Say, which woman did you see without a bra! I answered: jokes. Girlfriend slapped again and said, you've made great achievements and found a Japanese bitch!
27*** The joke that Ma Yun gave 1 million yuan to * * * was told to his daughter-in-law one day, and then he asked my idiot, "Would you like to eat?" She was silent for a while, and then said, feeding a family is a man's business.
28*** It's a different thing to watch American TV dramas fast forward by one minute. It's the same thing to watch Korean TV dramas every 1 episodes, to watch domestic TV dramas fast forward by 1 minutes or this thing, and to watch Japanese TV dramas by one episode.
29*** Looking at Journey to the West, I found that the Tang Priest and his disciples never took a bath. Why? God replied: every time I was caught by the monster, it was the little children who carried it behind and washed it. Later, my uncle wanted to eat the Tang monk's meat, and then he was saved.
3*** A friend fell in love with a goddess, and his first confession was rejected, so he turned around and left. A few days later, the goddess took the initiative to ask him: Why do you only confess once? Why don't you confess a few times? So my friend said something: "It's enough to scratch a thank-you note. Love is the same, there is no need to scrape the word "thank you for your patronage" before you let go!
31*** On my birthday, my wife bought me a bottle of ladies' perfume. Of course, the perfume was taken by her. For my wife's birthday, I bought her a razor that I've always wanted. Two days later, my father-in-law got a new razor.
32*** We have known each other for almost a year. She doesn't like to talk, but only silently smiles at my work. Even though my income is not high, she never complains. Although all my family are against us being together, I am determined to marry her. But a ruthless fire has separated us forever. I vaguely remember her last cry: "Peng!" Today, I am still single, because I can't find the same paragraph on Taobao.
33*** lives alone. In order to make my family a little angry, I have raised a few fish. After a long time, I have cultivated feelings and some experiences. Therefore, in order to make my friends live more comfortably, I specially selected a water temperature regulator on Taobao. After using it, I was really happy to see them swimming around, but I went there.
34*** A woman may like you, but she doesn't love you; She can love you, but she won't marry you; She can marry you, but she is barren; She can have children, but the children are not yours.
35*** When I was a child, my parents always believed that the ugly duckling would turn into a white swan and then marry a rich woman. One day when I grew up, my father looked at me intently and said earnestly, "Son, you'd better study hard."
36*** I think I'm a pervert. I have a hobby of Oedipus and liking the best. Otherwise, why do I miss grandma every time I see the face of our supermarket supervisor?
37*** When I smile, my smile is full of bohemian temperament like a poet, but behind this bohemian, there are delicate and warm feelings. When I am silent, I look up like a pure and graceful girl in a choir, and I look down like a profound and elegant aristocrat. Yes, I am such a man who combines all kinds of seemingly irreconcilable qualities perfectly.
Featured:
1*** went shopping with friends. He was playing with his mobile phone on the road. He met a deaf-mute and asked him for money with a disability certificate. The friend didn't look carefully and thought it was a flyer. He just took his disability certificate and left. After a long walk, the deaf-mute shouted, * * * Don't go, don't go.
2 * * wanted to buy snacks when I was a child. I stole 5 yuan from home. When I finished, I put the remaining forty yuan back. At dinner in the evening, my dad said, who spent our fake money? I must reward him. After listening, I shouted, it's me, it's me. I thought it was something good! As a result, dad started to smoke the belt with a quick laugh!
3*** A friend said: Those who are good-looking and like to eat are foodies, and those who are not so good-looking and like to eat are called gits! Ah. What a painful realization.
4*** For Xueba, holding a parent-teacher conference is just like Chinese New Year. For a scum like us, holding a parent-teacher meeting is just like being clear.
5*** If God gives me another chance to be born again, I must choose the Tang Dynasty, so I don't have to learn English or lose weight.
6*** "Do you use your left hand or right hand to wipe * *" "Right hand" "It's disgusting. I always use paper".
7*** I don't know what it feels like to have thin legs, thin waist, thin hands and thin neck.
8*** I said that I had a bad temper, was short and ugly, and no boys liked me. I wanted to say whether I was your own.
9*** I suddenly felt the urge to study, so I drank some water to calm my nerves. Ok, it's calm now. I was too impulsive just now. Fortunately, I have strong self-control.
1*** "Doctor, what's wrong with me?" "paralysis above the neck." "Ah, what's the disease?" "brain-dead."
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