1. God gave me a broad face just to magnify my beauty.

2. My head hurts so much. Is my knowledge so profound that it is overflowing?

3. Although moody girls in love can make people overwhelmed, they can also effectively promote China’s intangible cultural heritage: changing faces.

4. "What is it like to be ugly but with a good figure?" "Looking behind you is looking at the country and the city, but looking at you is worrying about the country and the people."

5. With your crush The girls quarreled and she ignored me for a long time. ""Then go apologize! ""Forget it, it's been ten years. "

6. You were naked in the sunshine in the south, she was wrapped in a mink on the kang in the north, and I was in the heavy snow in Beijing. There was no sunshine and no mink, so I had to rely on my body fat to keep warm.

7. A fish I raised recently died. I thought about it for a long time and didn’t want to bury it, so I arranged a cremation for it. Who knew that the more it was roasted, the more delicious it would become, so I had to prepare a bottle of beer for myself!

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8. Let’s cook and eat at home with my wife. I finished eating first, and I said, “You can wash the dishes later!” Wife: "The way you talk to yourself is so funny!" I...

9. I felt unwell and went to see a Chinese medicine doctor. When I saw the doctor taking my pulse, he frowned and asked: "Doctor, my How's your pulse? "Doctor: "To be honest, it looks pretty ugly."

1 I often see foodies! Tell me about my son! When my son was eating, I kept saying: Son, raise your head and take a breath!

11. When other people get in the car to practice driving, the first thing they say is "turn on the ignition, step on the clutch, put into gear, release the clutch, and start walking." But when I get in the car to practice driving, the first sentence A sentence usually begins with shouting loudly, "Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Get out of the way!"

12. Mosquitoes and I are actually very good friends. We often play hide-and-seek, and it wins. Let it suck my blood and kill it if I win.

13. I saw a very good resume, so I called him: "Is it convenient for an interview?" He said: "I'm sorry, I am not, I am a ham."

< p>14. When I was just ordering takeout, I suddenly remembered that I weighed 180 pounds. I slapped myself hard. They said girls weighing 90 pounds are the most beautiful. How could I be twice as beautiful?

15. My friends all say that I am a famous musician. Because every time I go out to karaoke, they sing other people’s tunes. Only I compose the music on the spot!

16. Lao Wang fell into a dry well at the entrance of the village. With the help of the villagers, he finally adapted to life at the bottom of the well.

17. The reason why I smoke is very simple: my grandfather smokes and my father smokes too, so I can’t stop smoking when it’s my turn.

18. There will always be someone who will love you. He will love you for your small eyes, small nose, imperfect figure, short legs that are not long, and your weight that will not lose. face character.

19. Your family is really poor. I said I would go to your house to play, but you said no way!

Twenty. Don’t send me any holiday blessings during the Chinese New Year. A red envelope can make me feel your sincerity.

Twenty-one. Others can go to Paris alone after a breakup, but after a breakup, I can only go to the beef noodle restaurant downstairs. I don’t dare to add eggs to a bowl of beef noodles that cost six yuan.

Twenty-two. The neighbor made braised hairtail last night. I quickly picked up the bowl and ate three bowls of rice while smelling the fish smell.

Twenty-three. After many years of continuous hard work, I finally changed from an ignorant boy to an ignorant young man.

Twenty-four. Palmist Master: Your palms are big, you must be lonely. Me: Huh? You can see this, why? Palmist Master: Because the bigger the palm, the lonelier it becomes.