The little boy has a toy car in his hand and must buy it, but his mother said, "I just bought it for you the other day." Why are you so greedy? " Don't buy it, don't buy it. "
Finally, the mother grabbed the toy in her son's hand, put it back on the shelf and turned away. When the boy saw it, he had to bow his head and go with his mother.
I believe many mothers have encountered a similar situation: children will buy their favorite toys when they see them. Satisfy him, for fear that the child will become more and more greedy. Don't buy it for him. The child will easily lose his temper.
Many old people can't bear to see their children cry, and often they are soft-hearted and obey their children. As a result, after a while, the child seems to be really greedy.
Therefore, many young parents insist on a principle that no matter how their children cry or get angry, they insist on not buying them extra toys.
But in fact, there may be many hidden dangers in such an approach.
0 1 Not buying toys for children may lead to "forbidden fruit effect". Everyone must know the story of Romeo and Juliet. They vowed to be together, regardless of their family's opposition.
However, from a psychological point of view, it is the family's opposition that triggered the "forbidden fruit effect", which made this relationship inseparable and indestructible.
The so-called "forbidden fruit effect", popularly speaking, means that "what you can't get is the best". The more forbidden it is, the easier it is for people to have rebellious psychology and curiosity, and the more they yearn for what is forbidden.
The same is true for children to buy toys. The more strictly parents restrict themselves from buying toys for their children, the more attractive the toys will be.
Not only that, it can't satisfy the child's desire to buy toys for a long time, and it is easy to increase his inner sense of lack, making his demand for toys more urgent.
Once the restrictions are lifted, for example, if a child has pocket money and can spend it freely, he will overspend to fill his inner lack.
There are actually many such examples around us. Girls are most likely to overeat after dieting. People whose families were too poor when they were young can easily buy them in buy buy when they grow up.
What makes children greedy is not buying their own toys. You may be confused when you see this. Not buying toys for children will increase his sense of want. Is it necessary to meet his demands indefinitely?
Indeed, in life, we have seen many examples of buying many toys for children, and as a result, children become greedy and don't know how to cherish them. But in fact, the mistake is not in buying toys, but in what circumstances we buy toys for our children.
What many parents do is: they didn't plan to buy it at first, but as a result, we bought it as soon as the children were noisy. This is obviously inappropriate.
Rudolf Drex, a psychologist, once said that children will decide their own action strategies by observing the behavior of adults at an early age.
The above practice is actually telling children that I can get everything I want when I lose my temper.
Therefore, if the child loses his temper and wants toys, we must refuse him.
But if he asks calmly, he can even tell what is good about this toy and why he wants it. If economic conditions permit, we can meet his requirements.
Whether to buy toys depends on these two points. When deciding whether to buy a toy for children, we should also consider two points.
1, why did the child buy it?
If children really like this toy, we should avoid subjectively judging whether it is worth buying based on our own preferences.
We often blurt out the sentence, "What's so interesting about this toy?" In fact, it is a denial of children. It will not only hurt the child's feelings, but also make him doubt his ability to choose.
But if the child doesn't really like it, but wants to buy everything and doesn't play much when he buys it home, we should be alert to whether the underlying reason for his buying toys is a lack of security.
Some children are often away from their parents or lack high-quality companionship, so it is easy to prove that their parents love them by buying toys to fill their inner anxiety.
If the child is for this reason, we must take time out to spend more time with him instead of buying toys to make up for our debt to the child.
2. Can the economy bear it?
This is also a factor that we should consider. When toys are beyond our capacity, we can honestly tell our children that toys are over budget.
Then discuss with him whether to change a toy or wait a little longer and save pocket money to buy this toy.
This can not only make children understand that money is a limited resource that needs to be used in a planned way, but also let children participate in decision-making, exchange their efforts for toys and learn to cherish it.
However, don't pretend to be poor with your child, or accuse him of being wasteful and ignorant, which will easily make children have a wrong understanding of themselves and cause inferiority.
In this way, children with self-control are cultivated. In fact, buying toys is a good opportunity to cultivate children's self-control and choice ability. We can use the following methods to let children grow up while getting toys.
1, pre-agreed rules
After seeing the toys, I decided not to buy them for the time being. Only when the rules are set first can the children abide by them.
You can find a time to discuss with your child, how many times a month to buy toys, how much is it, write down the rules on paper, let the children sign it, and then stick it on the wall.
With this agreed process, children will be more willing to follow it.
2. Respect children's choices
After the rules are set, they must be strictly enforced. It is important to note that as long as the child does not violate the rules, we can't interfere with his choice.
Even if you think the toy he bought is not cost-effective, you can't force him to change it. If you really want to say anything, praise him for his decisiveness in choosing toys.
If the price exceeds the budget, or the quota for this month has been used up, and the child still wants to buy, then we can suggest that he write down the toys he wants to buy in the "wish list" and buy them next month.
If the child cheats or loses his temper, we will stay calm, but we will never buy it.
3. Let children know about money.
The reason why children are "greedy" is actually because they have no concept of money. I don't know where the money comes from, and I don't know that the money is limited.
In addition, the payment method is more advanced than before. Many times we don't bring cash, but only pay by credit card or mobile phone. Of course, children will think that they can take toys home with brushes.
So what we have to do is not to reason with the child or criticize him for greed, but to supplement him with some money-related knowledge.
For example, we can take photos and videos of the workplace to show children how we work.
Before, there was a mother on the Internet who took her son to collect garbage for a day to make money, so that her son really realized that it was not easy to make money and it was worth learning.
In addition, you can also show your child the price tag of the supermarket and pay in cash to give him a preliminary understanding of the price.
If the child is older, we can also give him pocket money so that he can learn to control and use it by himself.
4. Cultivate children's choice ability
When children are very young, we can encourage them to make their own choices. For example, what clothes to wear and what books to read, give your child 2-3 choices at a time and let him practice making decisions.
When buying toys, children often want to buy several toys. At this time, he should also be encouraged to pick out his favorite 1-2 toys.
This is not only from the economic point of view, but also to let children know their preferences through thinking and choice, and at the same time practice the decision-making process and cultivate a decisive character. This is very important for children's future growth and development.
Generally speaking, it is not good to refuse or be satisfied with buying toys for children.
Make an agreement with your child in advance, give him the freedom to choose within a certain budget, and let your child harvest something more precious than toys.