What do children fear most? Lost the toy? Is there any delicious food left? No, what children are most worried about and afraid of is related to their parents, and you are the most important thing in their hearts. Look more at the things that children are worried about, and then be careful not to do it again in the future, and don't hurt their hearts again.

Mom and Dad quarreled

A children's psychological research institute once conducted a psychological survey on more than 3, school-age children. One of them was "What do you fear most about Mom and Dad", and the most frequently answered was: "I am most afraid that Mom and Dad will be angry and they will quarrel".

One answer sheet is vividly written: "I am most afraid of my father being angry. He looks fierce when he is angry! I made my mother cry with anger, and I was scared like a little mouse. My heart fluttered and I couldn't eat any more ... "

Mom and Dad lost their temper again.

The child was just like a crayon Shinchan, playing a prank again. When you urged him for ten times and he still didn't move his nest, parents who had been tired for a day often couldn't control their emotions and yelled at the child.

losing your temper with your child really scares your child. In fear, children's behaviors that upset their parents are temporarily out of sight. But what will happen to him? There are several possibilities:

Obediently listen to your command and do whatever you ask;

he was stunned and stood there motionless;

cry, and you won't do what you don't want him to do, and you won't do what you want him to do;

learn from your appearance, and get angry and throw your beloved vase on the ground.

children are very sensitive to people's emotions. Therefore, if parents lose their temper, it will definitely affect their children's behavior and emotions.

However, children still don't know why their parents lost their temper. That is to say, when many parents lose their temper, children stop their parents' unexpected behavior, but they don't know what they did wrong.

In life, it's best not to lose your temper with your child, but if you do get angry with your child carelessly, after losing your temper, you'd better explain clearly to your child what the problem is and how to do it, and at the same time let your child feel your care and love through actions.

If possible, you'd better give warning before losing your temper, such as: "I can't help losing my temper, can you hurry up …", "I'm in a bad mood today, you'd better not …". But we must never relax our demands on our children because of the guilt after losing our temper. We must persist in what we insist on.

Eccentric, can't give the same love to children

The plot of the popular movie Tangshan Earthquake a few years ago should still be fresh in everyone's memory:

In the Tangshan earthquake, a pair of children were crushed under the same concrete slab, and in the face of the difficult choice of saving only one, the mother reluctantly chose her son Fonda. Fortunately, her daughter Fang Deng later survived the disaster and was adopted as an adopted daughter by a couple of PLA people.

However, my daughter resented her mother's partiality and the phrase "save her brother". She went through a lot of things outside and suffered a lot, so she didn't want to go home to recognize her relatives. She was separated from her family for 32 years.

Parents are biased, which makes some children grow up in their parents' corner. Children with the same parents have different pocket money, clothes and travel ... which will bring a shadow to their growth.

A large number of studies have found that parents' partiality will have a negative impact on children's mental health, causing behavioral problems in children, adolescents and even adults. Even if they live away from home for many years and set up their own families after growing up, the influence still exists.

Moreover, children who are favored, left out or on the sidelines will be harmed as long as they are aware of their mother's eccentricity. Children who are left out will resent their mothers or favored children, while favored children will arouse the hatred of their brothers and sisters.

Parents break their promises and lie

Parents don't keep their promises, mostly because of their studies. Some parents verbally promise certain conditions around their studies, but when their children fulfill their parents' requirements, their parents push from pillar to post.

For example, some parents say: Do your homework quickly and watch TV after finishing your homework, but when your child finishes his homework, parents will leave some learning tasks for his child to continue his studies. Some parents promised their children that as long as their test scores reached the top, they would be rewarded. The children really did well in the exam, but they didn't get the rewards they deserved.

children hate it when their parents make promises easily and fail to keep them, and they break their promises and "play tricks" on themselves.

Breaking promises and losing prestige at the same time, parents break their promises, which not only loses their prestige in the eyes of children, but also is not conducive to their growth and even affects their own image.

Let children who have not formed the concept of keeping promises feel that a person can be irresponsible in speaking and not doing what he promised others. In this way, children can easily develop the bad habit of "rashness" and "no credit", and this habit of "breaking promises" will cost them many friends and opportunities as adults.

A parent who keeps his word should not make promises easily or make wishes casually; Don't casually agree to your child's request in order to achieve your immediate goal; When a child makes a request, he should seriously think about whether this request is reasonable and can be fulfilled. If it is reasonable and can be fulfilled, he must seriously promise and must be fulfilled.

Friends who don't welcome children

When children grow up, they also want to have a few sincere friends to share their joys and sorrows with themselves. I believe that mothers should also want their children to have good interpersonal relationships.

But some parents may dislike their children's friends because they are not polite, calculating, bullying and lying.

However, for children, with the gradual development of body and mind, parents are expected to treat them as "adults" and respect their independent opinions when choosing friends.

If parents always discipline and intermittently or continuously express their dislike for their children's good friends, it will inevitably arouse children's resentment, thus gradually widening the gap between the two sides.

parents should respect their children's choice of good friends. Parents should look at their children's good friends from their children's point of view, be good at role-shifting thinking, and respect and protect their children's choices.

Parents should acknowledge the differences in choosing friends with their children and respect them. Sometimes give children enough face, and children will give their parents enough face.

It is one of the most basic relationships for children to establish good friends with others, and children should be respected to make free choices according to their wishes and preferences.

Ignoring children's advantages

In real life, parents often compare their children's shortcomings with others' children's strengths, and even excessively beautify and exaggerate others' children. They want to set an example for their children, but in fact, they bring great harm to their children and even affect their lives.

Every child has his strengths and advantages. Although children's talents are different, they learn things fast and slow, and their academic performance is high and low, judging a child's quality cannot depend on only one aspect.

as a parent, you can't think that your children are inferior to others and have no promise just by their looks, grades and other aspects, but you should be good at discovering their advantages and their differences, always believe that your children are excellent, and leave the praise to your children, so that they can continue to carry forward their advantages and strengths in your praise.

Accusing children in front of guests

People come and go, relatives and friends get together and talk about their children, which often becomes one of the important topics.

Many parents like to expose their children's shortcomings in front of everyone, as if they are complaining to others about how difficult it is to educate such a child.

But I don't know who I am, and I just focus on criticizing his shortcomings. This invisibly makes the child feel that he can't do anything, and no one appreciates him, such as poor study, poor appearance, poor communication, and poor housework, which makes his family suffer for him, and also makes his parents feel dissatisfied with themselves and gradually alienated from their parents.

From the above seven things that children are afraid of their parents, it is not difficult to see that a good parent and a good family in children's minds should have a friendly, relaxed, tolerant, democratic and lively atmosphere. On the contrary, their biggest headache is the cold, tense, dull, bossy and lifeless family.