1. When problems arise, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

2. The road is long and long, and I will go up and down to ask for help.

3. The family is poor and ugly, only 1.49 meters tall; primary school education, rural household registration; three dilapidated houses, one acre of thin farmland; surfing the Internet today, looking for girlfriends; on the revolutionary road, hand in hand.

4. Knit me a scarf, and I am willing to repay you with my lifelong care. Otherwise, just strangle me with a scarf!

5. Men pretend to understand when they don’t understand, but women do the opposite.

6. In order to cooperate with the successful completion of China’s family planning work this year, I have decided not to have contact with friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

7. Get away from me as far as your thoughts go!

8. The hooligans are not scary, but the hooligans are educated.

9. Guests, please respect yourself. This little girl only sells herself, not her art.

10. You cannot satisfy everyone, because not all people are human!

11. A man’s lies can deceive a woman for a night, and a woman’s lies can deceive a man for a lifetime!

12. If you can’t put your woman into a wedding dress, then never stop unbuttoning her clothes!

13. Hello, is this China? Mobile? I am China Unicom, and my PHS is broken. Can you send China Railway to fix it?

14. I am an academician of the Advanced Diving Academy of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, a Nobel Prize winner for long-term disconnection, and a lifetime Oscar Invisibility Award...

15. I wish to be a flying bird in the sky, and a pig in the same pen on earth!

16. I am busy during the day and busy at night.

20. If the sun does not come out, I will not go to work; if it does, I will continue to sleep!

21. I accidentally ate a bottle of "Black-bone Baifeng Pills". This is great, I have nosebleeds for a few days every month.

24. You are truly a beauty. That is to say, you are only beautiful in the tunnel, because there are no lights in the tunnel.

28. A strong life does not need explanation.

31. Youth is like toilet paper. It seems like there are quite a lot of them, but once I use them, it’s not enough.

33. Grandpas are descended from grandchildren...

34. If you want to marry, marry someone else first and then marry me, and lead him with his savings. My sister came in that BMW.

35. Love is like pi, infinite and endless...

36. I can't play chess, calligraphy and painting, but I feel tired from doing laundry and cooking.

37. One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless there is one male and one female.

38. We are looking for little girls, and we will come with you to fill the water; I will fill the head of the Yangtze River, and you will fill the tail of the Yangtze River.

39. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

40. It may seem possible, but it may not be impossible.

41. I drank to drown the pain, but this damn pain learned to swim.

42. Don’t wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

43. If you cannot put on a wedding dress for the woman you love, please stop unbuttoning her clothes.

44. Falling is not terrible. What is terrible is that when a person falls, he is very sober!

45. In the past, you took off your underwear to look at your butt; now, you pull off your butt and look at your underwear. Because of the thong I was wearing.

46. If I give you the heaviest poop gift in history, you will definitely eat a pound of it.

47. My favorite day: January 31st; my most hated day: December 1st.

57. I died, but I stood up again in the fire. Do you think it was Nirvana or corpse transformation?

59. Live with the attitude of death...

63. Is the departure of the leaves the tree's unwillingness to hold back, or the wind's pursuit?

65. Love comes by cheating, and feelings come by sleeping.

66. Do a good job, teach students well, build a good website, be a good writer, and live a good life...

67. I really want to have a wife, talk to me. like. The reality is very helpless, so I still have to wait!

68. Why pretend to be pure when they are all water? Why pretend to be sheep when they are all wolves?

69. Those with wings are not necessarily angels. My mother said they are birdmen.

70. I am a little bird. I want to fly but I can’t fly high... Huh? It turns out there is no hair.

71. There is a kind of silence called domineering, a kind of restraint called individuality, a kind of simplicity called deepness, and a kind of disdain called self.

72. When my teacher told me the definition of "handsome guy" when I was a child, I couldn't understand it. Later, my colleague took out a mirror for me. OY! Suddenly it dawned on me.

73. Because of the unbearable loneliness, I fell in love several times. Who would have thought that after repeated defeats, he would be easily kicked!

74. In the 21st century, what is most important? Me!

75. The most terrifying way to miss someone is to sit next to her and know that you will never have her.

76. Life is the most fun, because life keeps playing tricks on me.

77. I don’t know whose wife is on my bed. I don’t know whose bed my wife is on!

78. Don’t speak English in front of me in the future, okay?

81. The forest is big, and there are all kinds of birds. Society has become complicated, and there are people of all kinds. What kind of person am I, I'm wondering?

82. It is difficult for a rich man to be a man without money!

83. Never stop smiling, even when you are sad, maybe someone will fall in love with you because of your smile.

84. The farthest distance in the world is not the separation between life and death, but when I stand in front of you, you don’t know: I love you!

85. Wear other people’s shoes, go your own way, and let them find it.

86. I study on purpose, work on purpose, live on purpose, and live like a human being on purpose!

87. When you grow up, you want to marry Tang Seng as your husband. If you want to be pampered, dote on him. If you don’t want to play with him, eat him up.

88. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, but it only takes a bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.

89. You are too bad! It’s not that I’m bad!

90. Maybe I am too ordinary and have no personality!

91. It is said that the only animal in the world that can maintain eternal love is a hedgehog? Because hedgehogs can never get too close.

92. The more arrogant you are online, the kinder you are offline.

93. When you are not online, I will always look at your information in a daze.

94. Love is like two people holding a rubber band. The one who gets hurt is always the one who is unwilling to let go!

95. Many dreams are used to satisfy hunger by reality.

96. My name is Chuhe, can you call me Dangwu?

97. I threw the coin into the air: if it came up heads, I would go to MSN, if it came up tails, I would go to QQ, if the coin stood up, I would go to self-study.

98. Yesterday I saw a beautiful girl. I thought about her for a long time at night, but in the morning I couldn’t remember what she looked like. I heard this is called *. well!

99. The important thing in life is not where you stand, but the direction you are facing.

100. Every morning when I get up, I have to look at the "Forbes" rich list. If my name is not on it, I will go to work...