01 Not all "other people's children" are called "Huba"

I heard that modern people do not "celebrate the new year" but instead "catching monsters"! After "Monster Hunt 2" was released, it still received consistently poor reviews and the box office skyrocketed! You can see this product everywhere in supermarkets, shopping malls and even on the streets!

"Huba Huba..."

After coming out of the cinema, the phrase "Huba, run, run fast" was still running through my mind. This phrase has appeared countless times in movies. Indeed, "Monster Hunt 2" is actually a story in which an army of demons, an elite of heavenly masters, and the green forest and grass fight each other to snatch a "other people's child", and they do not hesitate to cause a bloody storm!

?The "relevant departments" did not hesitate to spend one thousand taels of silver to buy Huba back from the "human traffickers"!

Yinzi said, "We can also contribute to more meaningful things."

Why is Huba, "other people's child" so attractive?

Because this child is so painful!

Let’s not talk about anything else, the simple and harmless creation of cuteness adds a lot of color to this “other people’s child”!

Even if he is occasionally naughty and mischievous, this child knows how to repay his kindness and never troubles adults on important matters. At the most critical moment, he can step forward and make a big move to turn the tide. This way Who doesn’t love “other people’s children”?

However, life is not a movie after all. In reality, it is very difficult for a "child of another family" like Huba to achieve the probability of being one in a million! The "Children's Show" during the Spring Festival also forced us to open our eyes and see what "other people's children" look like in reality. After watching it, we couldn't help but sigh!

Huba’s popularity is mainly due to the “cute” relatives’ children, who are still very “bearish”

For many people, gathering with relatives for a few days during the Spring Festival is an unpleasant experience. The necessary debt of gratitude will be even more upsetting if there are a few "naughty children" from relatives to support it! In fact, our hatred of "naughty kids" has been around for a long time. Strategies for "killing naughty kids" have been circulating on WeChat and Zhihu for a long time. Some advocate whispering threats, some encourage and scream, and some even come up with suggestions. The idea is to use pornographic films to poison!

However, what I want to say is that "children from other people's families", especially "children from relatives", no matter how "bearish" they are, must be treated kindly, and even some "routines" must be used "Praise!" Just because, "praising other people's children" is the most cost-effective investment in favors."

02 "Praising children can make you rich" | There is a currency called "favors"

In China, there is a kind of currency called "favors" and a kind of "business" called "favor exchanges". Favor exchanges are for the purpose of bringing people closer and maintaining a network of relationships. After all, connections are also social resources that can be exchanged. .

Dinner with relatives during the Spring Festival is a kind of "human exchange"! During the banquet and dinner, we saved a favor that can be used when we ask for help in the future!

Normally, any interaction with anyone is actually the circulation of a kind of "favor" currency! When interacting with adults with "naughty children", you must understand certain principles! "You have no friendship with children, but you have friendship with adults!" Therefore, your attitude towards your child only depends on how close you are to his parents and grandparents, and has nothing to do with the child's own performance!

Moreover, even if we have good intentions, it is completely unnecessary to educate other people’s children, because it involves “boundary” issues. Even if the child is not polite, does not study well, and has a runny nose, Even going through other people's drawers makes us really uncomfortable, but we have to remember that these are "other people's children" and have nothing to do with us. Moreover, during the Chinese New Year, children from relatives only come once a year, even if If the child is extremely naughty, we can only tolerate it for two or three hours at most. What does it have to do with us whether the child becomes a talent or not?

Therefore, being able to "not educate" other people's children first is the bottom line and a basic cultivation! Even when you see a "naughty child" being educated by your own parents, you still have to say something like "He is still a child" to smooth things over, and you must not help educate him. After all, no matter how angry the parents of the "naughty child" were at the time, they are responsible for their children. They are honorable, disgraceful and independent. The parents of the "naughty child" can deal with it however they want, but no matter what, it is not their turn. Let's talk!

"Naughty children", "not educating" is not enough! Sometimes, we have to "praise with our mouths"! Why?

Because praising children can make money

"Praising children" is a kind of "human investment", and "praising children" is "praising parents". This is the truth we have mentioned before ! In addition, if we find that a child of a certain family is as lovable as "Huba", then we have to praise it!

Because, generally speaking, there are two types of parents of "good children": one is stronger than your small family in terms of family strength, and the other is that although the family strength is average, they are willing to let their children Have greater ideals and hope that your children will become successful. Therefore, the "favor investment" in these two families has a very high rate of return!

Especially the latter kind is worth making friends with. Not all poor families will produce noble children, but if you pay more attention to a promising child when his family is mediocre, this child may be yours in the future. Strong support. Children in a big family are resources and valuable manpower.

Therefore, if you are still a young person in the stage of accumulating connections and still have the heart to do something, discover and cultivate them early. By the time you are middle-aged and old, they will all be tough people in their prime. Hands on!

03 Don’t praise and become a flatterer | Use more “verbs” and less “big words”

In recent years, primary school teachers are not encouraged to criticize children in comments, so everything is praise. way appears. For example, a child who came last in the final exam and beat his classmates would have his comments: "Stable grades and strong hands-on ability."

However, if you praise the child in this way in front of the other parent's parents, it is Fake! This is not a compliment, but flattery!

When "praising children", you still have to be more sincere. Sooner or later, flattery will show its flaws. After all, most people can't control their expressions perfectly. If you have the opportunity to go out in front of the camera, you can take a look. Generally speaking, you can control your expression when you are one-on-one, but you can easily reveal your true emotions when you are one-on-one. When a relative's child is causing trouble, you may be all smiles at his parents, but when you only face him, you tend to show negative emotions, and this expression is easily noticed by sensitive mothers or grandmothers.

Therefore, the first step is to adjust your mentality, restrain your dislike of praise, and recognize it from the bottom of your heart.

How to recognize it from the bottom of your heart? We have to admit that "most children have something special about them." There is no such thing as a person without advantages. Therefore, to praise others is to discover the advantages of others and to carefully study what others deserve to be praised. It is an exercise for oneself, and it is also a process of deepening understanding of the other party, which is very valuable.

In addition, praise is a positive psychological suggestion and can have a positive impact on the children themselves. There is a case in psychology: two classes with similar grades, one class teaches normally, and the other class emphasizes that they are Excellent people were selected. A few years later, the grades of this praised class were indeed much higher than those of the neighboring classes.

So, when you think about it, don’t you feel that “praising other people’s children” has become a kind of merit, and “living in harmony with naughty children” is an act of charity!

Okay, after the "Tao" level problem has been solved, let's solve the "technique" level! How exactly should you "praise other people's children" correctly?

Just one move! Use "verbs" instead of "big words"

When we praise other people's children, we should try to use verbs, because verbs Always reinforce the child's specific behavior, so that the other party will sound sincere and express the child's behavior that deserves further improvement! And when you use "big words" or "nouns" to praise, it will look particularly like flattery!

I also want to praise the child for his artistic talent and energy. Let’s carefully analyze the emotional color behind these two sentences! "This painting, her strokes are so perfect" and "This child has such a rich imagination" are the former statements more sincere and credible? The latter statement not only sounds a bit dry, but also a bit ironic - "Is there something wrong with this child's brain? It's so whimsical!"

Let's give another example. "This child has been insisting on doing homework" and "This child has a good ability to manage attention." Similarly, the latter statement sounds high-sounding and not sincere. In fact, for a child who has been playing games all day and night, we It can also be said that his "ability to manage attention" is very good!

The biggest difference between the above two examples is the difference between the so-called "verb" and "big word"!

Use more "verbs" and less "big words" to make your praise more sincere! The words "praising the child" sound especially pleasant to the ears of the other parent!

04 The last words

Buddha taught us: Motivation in doing things is very important!

In a human society, praising other people’s children is a beneficial investment and is conducive to the maintenance of relationships. In the long run, the child’s family may help you, and when the child grows up, he may also I know how to repay you!

In the end, we made money by "praising other people's children"!

However, we must also remember that we do not deliberately “compliment other people’s children” in order to “make money”! No matter how "bearish" "other people's children" are, we should at least not teach them a lesson, because respecting boundaries is a basic interpersonal rule! Going a step further, no matter how "bearish" "other people's children" are, we should try our best to praise them.

After all, every child has advantages. Being good at discovering the advantages of other children and pointing them out sincerely can not only make the parents of the other party sincerely happy, but also allow the children to forge ahead on their own. Finally, they can also exercise themselves. The ability to discover the good qualities of others! Isn't this something worth doing? Therefore, "praising other people's children" is a kind of investment, and it is also a kind of education!

Finally, don’t forget the method of “verbs and big words”!

All the "routines" in the world

are not worth a "sincerity"!

Be a person who sincerely praises others!