2. The ancient robbery: I opened this mountain and planted this tree. If you want to pass by, stay and buy the toll. After hundreds of years of civilization baptism, in today's society, robbery is like this: 500 meters in front of the toll booth, please slow down.
3. Lu Xun said: As long as you spend money frequently, your troubles will be reduced by 80%, your emotional intelligence and IQ will be improved, and you won't fall in love with fire. But where did the money come from? Lu Xun didn't say.
4. Go shopping with your boyfriend. Passing through the blue ocean, I didn't mean to ask, "Are the clothes here expensive?" Idiot boyfriend roared: "the advertisement on TV says you only go twice a year." Do you think it is expensive? "
Wife: Honey, I'm sick. I'm afraid I have to buy a bag. Husband: Can you tell me the connection between the two? Wife: haven't you heard of "all diseases are cured"? Then my husband came in with a brick. Wife: What's this? Husband: Bricks cure all kinds of intractable diseases!
Finally, I want to understand why I should lick Oreos first, because I am not afraid of being robbed.
Seven. There are three kinds of interpersonal relationships among girls: some people can meet without washing their hair, some people can meet after washing their hair, and some people don't want to meet after washing their hair.
8. A friend studying Chinese medicine went on a blind date. When he came back, he disagreed. After repeated questioning, he told the truth and said that he found that the girl was happy when holding hands. ...
9. Last night, several female colleagues had dinner together. Because the air conditioning temperature in the private room is too high, and I eat hot pot, I have been sweating for less than half an hour, and I can't wait to rush to the bathroom to wash my face. When Su Yan came back and sat down, the waiter who served the food blindfolded and turned his head with tears and asked, "Where was the man at that table just now?" ? They haven't checked out after eating. ...
1 Before he died, the old man confessed to his wife: I once had an affair. Please forgive me! Wife: What a big deal! You can close your eyes! Which of our children looks like you?
XI。 Once I quarreled with my dad, I got angry and said, "Dad, I am your own. No, you called me that. " "You are not born to me, you are born to your mother. Don't pull it on me. "
12. Daughter-in-law updated her signature: I am willing to trade my 10 Jin of meat for my mother's 1 year life. Then my mother-in-law commented at the back: daughter, I don't want to be a Millennium demon …
Thirteen. When I was shopping, the security guard at the door called me, "Wait a minute, what's in your bulging clothes?" I lifted my coat angrily and shouted, "it's meat, it's meat!" My own. "
14. One morning in the first grade of primary school, it was a little slow to comb my daughter's hair. She was in a hurry and said, mom, you have to hurry up, or the money will be spent. Me: So serious? Daughter: Hmm! Being late will be criticized and humiliated; If you are late, you will lose your salary and money. Without people and money, people and money are gone. ...
15. looks are given by the previous generation, education is determined by the previous generation, ideas are taught by the previous generation, and the environment is left by the previous generation. How dare you say that each generation is worse than the next?
Sixteen years old. On the way to buy medicine last night, I met a big brother and took shota for a walk. Shota: Dad, I did well in this exam. My mother will definitely give me another 1000 yuan. I decided to give it to you, 800 yuan. Eldest brother kissed Sota excitedly: Dear son, you have worked hard. Shota sighed and said, "Everyone is trying to earn money to support their children, and I am trying to learn to earn money to support my children ..."
17. I was drinking at my friend's house. Suddenly my buddy shouted miserably that his wife came back. I asked you how you knew, and my buddy replied, "I heard the sound of the manhole cover downstairs." No one can step on the whole building except my wife ... "
18. Before the bachelor: Fan Bingbing actually looks average; Single for a year: This Ethan is quite sexy in a perspective dress; Single for three years: I found that the side of Rong Mammy was pretty good; Single for five years: Brother Chun is still quite feminine; Ten-year bachelor: Xifeng. Are you married? Single for 20 years: This sow looks fine ...
19. Teacher's home visit. Ask the students: Is your family happy? The student proudly replied: happiness! Father came over and slapped him in the face. "Boy, who let you change your surname!" "The word" piece "on the signboard of an auto parts factory fell off the edge and became a cow. An old farmer saw it and muttered, this car should at least have a tractor!
Twenty one. "I took the subway to work in the morning, and the bread I bought was squashed." "It's nothing, my situation is much more serious." "Why, is your bread like this?" "Not bread, I want to fart, but I just burp!"
22. My sister-in-law came to my house as a guest. After dinner, my wife was washing the dishes. My sister-in-law and I chatted in the living room. Sister-in-law said: brother-in-law, colleagues say I am fierce. Do you think I'm fierce? Before I could speak, I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen: if you dare to look, I will kill you!
Twenty-three I dug my wife's ear last night, and everything I dug out was wet. My mouth asked: Why was your earwax dry before you got married and now it's wet? Wife: I am crazy to marry you! Alas! Full of tears ...
24. Xiao Li went to his girlfriend's house for the first time, and her girlfriend took him around. Girlfriend said, "See that big clearing on the hillside? My mother said, as long as you marry me ... "Xiao Li said excitedly," That land is mine. " His girlfriend shook her head and said, "Your gift money will be given to my brother in that house."