2. honey, don't worry, there will always be someone who will tolerate any shortcomings and wait for you in the wind and rain. Terrible: I can't believe it's me!
3. Husband: "Wife, my eyesight has gone wrong since I got married! "Wife:" What symptoms? Husband: I can't see the money! "
4." Brother always smokes one mouthful and throws it away. It's so capricious! It's willful enough. It's the first time I've seen someone say that picking up cigarette butts is so willful! "
5. Many women suddenly understand what" a father loves a mountain "after becoming a mother! Mountains usually just stay there doing nothing, standing on their feet and standing on their feet all the time.
6. There is a beautiful female guest at home, and the mother says to the child: Come on, baby, let the aunt have a bite! The child said: I don't kiss, just now my father kissed her in the corridor and got several mouths!
7. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it is useless to try again.
8. When I just ordered takeout, I suddenly remembered that I was almost 14 kg. I slapped myself in the face. How can I be distracted when ordering takeout!
9. I remember when I was in junior high school, my class teacher called me a dung-churning stick, and then everyone in the class burst into laughter. I don't know what the dung was laughing at, but I am still a stick.
1. After the English listening test that year, I realized a truth: some words are only for people who understand.
11. I caught a cold, and bought a good quality thermos in order to let myself drink more hot water. I went there early in the morning, burned my mouth eight times and didn't get a sip of water.
12. The red envelope was sent to the wrong person. I contacted the other party and returned it. The other party replied, "Fortunately, you met me! ""mm-hmm, thank you very much! "He went on to say," If you meet someone else, you may get it back! "
13. Women don't care about decency, decency is because they are not seduced enough, men don't care about loyalty, and loyalty is because the chips of betrayal are too low.
14. Last night, I dreamed that I was beaten by a group of people, and I was scared to wake up. Then I continued to fall asleep, and I met that group of people and said to me, how dare you come back?
15. once I walked into the street, a group of beautiful women stopped me and asked me, "are you handsome?" "I said," I am not handsome! "The response was five burning fingerprints, and then they came up to hit me together, calling me hypocritical while playing.
16. Every girl has a dress in her closet called: I once bought it as a poor dog, but now I think it is ugly.
17. First, Singles' Day, then the mid-term exam, and then the parents' meeting. This is called the total collapse of love, career and affection.
18. The interviewer asked me to introduce my leadership experience. I thought about it and said, "I once led a team of 5 people. "The interviewer's eyes lit up:" Oh? Then why did you quit? "I took a deep breath and looked into the distance:" The number was stolen! "
19. You can't wake up a person who doesn't reply to the message, but a red envelope can.
2. One month before the exam, my signature was "Everything depends on human effort"; One week before the exam, it was changed to "everything goes with fate"; After the exam, the signature is "Focus on Participation".
21. People's potential can be stimulated. For example, if you give me 5 Jin of bricks, I may not be able to carry them, but if you give me 1 Jin of RMB, I will definitely pick them up and run.
22. In the past, my king didn't play well, and my friend always scolded me. Later, I practiced hard for a season, and now he finally scolded me.
23. There was a kissing scene on TV, and the father asked his son to get a glass of water. Soon, there was another kissing scene on TV. Dad asked his son to pour another glass of water. The son asked, Dad, are you thirsty at the sight of someone kissing?
24. When I was five years old, my goal was Ferrari. At the age of twenty, my goal was Audi A6. When I was twenty-five, my goal was Geely Panda. The goal now is to get on the bus and have a place to sit and listen to music.