We are always busy, but it is impossible for us to make up for our children's education. As long as we ignore it a little, the growth and change of children are obvious. Once some children's problems are developed, they will spend a lot of energy to correct them, or even cannot be corrected at all, especially in the critical period of senior three, which is really a long-term regret.

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First, the four stages that senior three children may go through.

During the year of preparing for the exam, the psychological changes of senior three candidates have their own specific forms, from being full of passion at first to stagnation later.

Stage 1- passion period

August to 1 1 is the "passionate period" for children to prepare for the college entrance examination. At this time, children are active, diligent, hardworking and confident. Now it is 10 month, and the child is in a "passionate period".

Parents' countermeasures: What parents should do is to ensure logistics supply and not to talk too much.

Stage 2- Fatigue and irritability period

65438+ February next year to 65438+ 10 is the "fatigue and irritability period" for children to prepare for the college entrance examination. The child is physically and mentally exhausted, depressed and irritable.

Parents' countermeasures: During this period, parents should create a relaxed and happy environment to improve their children's mood. Don't quarrel with your child because of trivial things in life, so as not to affect your child's mood. Don't worry. I believe the children will adapt well soon with the help of the teacher.

The third stage-negative doubt period

In March next year, with the arrival of the second round of review, some students' grades have been greatly improved and they will have more confidence in their studies. However, after several efforts, many students still failed to make progress or failed to meet their expectations. They have doubts about themselves and are not sure whether they can be admitted to the university this year, and their minds are at a loss.

Parents' countermeasures: At this time, children need practical encouragement from their parents most. If they work hard, the failure to improve their rankings does not mean that their grades have not improved, because others are working hard and others are not sitting there waiting for you. In fact, everyone is making progress. Failure to improve the ranking does not mean that you can't go to college.

Stage 4- fear and anxiety period

By May next year, as the college entrance examination approaches, all children will have more or less fear and anxiety.

Parents' countermeasures: At this time, parents should never comfort their children with words such as "Don't be nervous, don't be afraid, it's nothing if you haven't passed the exam, and take the exam next year", because this will only make them more nervous. You can find more professional people to give your children some advice, otherwise you will keep silent and wait for the school to do the work for your children.

Second, parents should do 6 not.

First, don't nag

Some parents and friends talk about the college entrance examination all day, nagging and stimulating their children with words like "fight for their parents" all day. Urge children to do their homework quickly from time to time; Keep nagging in your child's ear all day, be hard and hard; It is too disobedient to nag children all day; Thousands of times, if you don't get into college, there will be no commitment; Whose children study countless times better than you; Even some parents stand on stools and lie under the door to see if their children are studying.

You let your child hear similar words all day and do things that make him extremely disgusted. This kind of practice, this distrust, can only affect his mood and make him unable to study hard.

It may even lead to double-sided contradictions. Children and parents, one is adolescence and the other is menopause, try not to have contradictions and collisions, which is tantamount to Mars hitting the earth, with serious consequences.

When expressing concern for children, we should also seize the opportunity, don't nag endlessly, and don't always turn around children. To express it in a timely and appropriate way, you can choose to express it when they are resting, relaxing and in a good mood. It is best not to repeat one thing more than twice, otherwise it will have no practical effect, and it will also give children a feeling of distrust, which will only have a negative impact on children's physiology and psychology. At ordinary times, we should consciously put an end to nagging, don't interfere with children's behavior too much, and give them a more relaxed psychological and living environment.

Second, don't care too much.

"What's your favorite sentence from your parents?" And "What is your favorite thing for parents to do?" The answer of most students is "Don't say anything, don't do anything." It can be seen that children do not welcome our excessive concern.

When the child is studying, we try not to walk into his room easily. Send milk and fruit later, and supervise him in the name of care. Our parents and friends are really tangled. You are angry that the child doesn't study. Children study, boil oil a little lighter, and you will feel distressed.

In fact, children's spiritual care and material care should be moderate, less bound by irrelevant principles and less redundant care.

It is understandable that you are anxious to make your children succeed, but no matter how urgent your heart is, you must pretend to be indifferent and indifferent. Better not leave, don't leave. Don't ask questions. When children talk about related topics by themselves, they should seriously "observe words and observe colors" and deal with them skillfully. Don't change the family environment or atmosphere too much, don't compare too much, and create a relaxed, natural and pleasant family atmosphere. Children can watch TV, listen to music or go shopping on Sunday as long as their food, clothing, housing and transportation remain unchanged.

Some parents and friends don't understand that it is no good for children to concentrate all their activities on their studies. Learning is not just reading, rest is not just sleeping. Let children do some activities that they can after studying, such as sweeping the floor, washing dishes, washing clothes, etc., which can not only relax their brains properly, but also help their growth and development.

Third, don't make excessive and unreasonable tutoring.

In senior three, we should treat our children's test scores correctly.

I do not hesitate to ask a famous teacher to be a tutor and cook in a small stove, which not only takes up the time for children to digest and review freely, but also has the suspicion of encouragement; Not only is it a waste of time and money, but it is also easy for children to form bad study habits-they don't listen carefully in class. Anyway, it is very easy to form a vicious circle with tutoring.

If the child doesn't do well in the exam, he will be angry and worried. What we need to do is not to rush to cram, but to find out the reasons with our children. Is the mood too tense, the examination questions too difficult, or the review plan is biased? Is it because the basic knowledge is not in place, the examination skills are not mastered, or you don't study hard?

If you don't calmly analyze the reasons why you didn't do well in the exam with your children, find out the shortcomings and make the next stage of study plan. On the contrary, they either went to the hospital because they were ill, or made a fuss, disappointed and sad, and scolded angrily. These are undoubtedly adding fuel to the fire and adding insult to injury. If you really want to help children, you must help the right places.

Of course, we are not saying that it is wrong for parents to ask for tutors or find someone to help their children, because sometimes children do encounter difficulties in learning, and parents are unable to provide good ways to help their children. At this time, it is understandable to find a professional teacher to properly educate the children, which will receive better results. But I hope that parents should carefully choose the right teacher and choose the right time to tutor their children.

Fourth, don't blindly compare.

Some parents and friends always think that children's grades are not good enough and may not be admitted to an ideal university. They often stimulate their children with the tops of their relatives and colleagues, thinking that this will have good results. Don't you know, it's even worse.

Therefore, don't always tell your children how well other children study, how hard they work and how promising they are. This will intentionally or unintentionally put pressure on children, increase their rebellious psychology, and make children feel fear and disgust at learning and college entrance examination from the heart, which is not conducive to review and examination.

It is necessary to do more vertical comparisons between children and themselves, try to find the progress of children all the time, and help children analyze their own advantages and disadvantages in order to achieve the effect of fostering strengths and avoiding weaknesses and boosting morale.

5. Don't expect too much.

Some parents expect too much of their children, regardless of the actual achievements and intellectual differences of candidates, and always want their children to become top students, enter famous universities and win glory for their parents and families. The goal is too high, beyond the actual level of children, so that children feel incompetent without being admitted to prestigious schools, which invisibly causes great psychological pressure on children and dampens their self-confidence.

As parents, we should know the actual level of children, don't give them too high expectations, and maintain a most valuable normal heart.

Sixth, don't be overly anxious.

In the past, many parents and children became enemies as soon as they entered the third year of high school. They changed first: some were stricter than usual, some were kinder than usual, some were not thinking about tea and rice, and some could not sleep at night. Parents are afraid that the ups and downs of their children's grades will make them feel insecure, afraid that their children can't cheer him up, afraid that their illness will waste time, afraid that their children's bad mood will affect their review, afraid that their children will fall in love these days, afraid that their children will not concentrate on anxiety when they get to the third year of high school, and afraid that their children will not be admitted to the ideal university. Anyway, they are worried, scared and anxious all the time.

I wonder if you have ever thought that our emotions can directly infect and affect children's emotions?

The real pressure that children face in their studies comes from their parents who care about them and love them. Many times, parents intentionally or unintentionally become the main source of stress for children. They are not decompressors, but pressurizers in the process of preparing for the college entrance examination.

Even so, please note the following:

Don't quarrel in front of children, let some things at work and at home, contradictions and discordant notes affect children. For example, a friend said, "I told my child that what happened between me and his father was an adult's business and he didn't have to worry about it." He just needs to study with peace of mind. " This seems reasonable. Think about it. Who can do that?

Parents are noisy, children are indifferent and study with peace of mind? Switch roles. Can you do it? Don't quarrel openly because of the inconsistency between husband and wife's education methods, which will make children feel unsafe and at a loss. In front of children, parents had better be consistent. If you have different opinions, you should avoid children discussing them, and don't let him feel that only one person has the final say, lest one party is not present and the other party's speech is useless.

Third, parents share their experiences.

From the perspective of parents, I share three sentences:

The first sentence is the responsibility to protect children.

Senior three is an important year for children to reach adulthood, and the college entrance examination is the first important responsibility in their lives. Although the children's shoulders are still a little immature, there is no doubt that they must shoulder the burden themselves.

As parents, we can't replace them, but we can protect them, encourage them not to relax at any time, let alone escape, and experience their ability to take responsibility through the efforts of senior three.

We should make children understand that taking responsibility is not an empty inspirational slogan, but a rigorous detail and concrete action, which is embodied in a practical study plan, in fulfilling the requirements of school teachers, in helping each other with classmates, and in perseverance.

On the other hand, people are fragile, let alone children who are in a state of tension for a long time. Our parents should carefully detect the emotional changes of their children, give them encouragement and appreciation in time, and protect their responsibilities.

On March 28th, Tsinghua came to the school for enrollment promotion, and then interviewed some students. My child was not chosen. I met him outside the classroom, and he said it doesn't matter, so I sent him a message: "My parents think you are the best." He replied in four words: "Well, the best." A little naughty, it seems that the heart is still very strong. The next day, I came from Peking University, and I was also not selected for the interview. I sent another message: "How others choose is someone else's business, and how you choose is your business, which is related to your strength. My parents always thought you were the best. " Nearly midnight, I waited for his three words: "thank you." I read the loss that just dispersed, and I also read the persistence that just recovered.

The second sentence, consciously cooperate with the school.

The arrangement of preparing lessons for senior three, which everyone cares about, is a mature system accumulated by the school for many years and the crystallization of teachers' collective wisdom, which embodies a strong scientific and professional nature. It is no exaggeration to say that as long as the arrangements of the school and the requirements of the teachers are fulfilled to the letter, the results of the college entrance examination will definitely be excellent.

Therefore, in this respect, our parents can rest assured, concentrate on the role of parents and consciously form a division of labor and cooperation with the school. I think parents should mainly do two things: one is spiritual guidance, and the other is logistical support.

We hold our children responsible. First of all, our parents should take responsibility for themselves, actively face and bear in their daily lives, give their children a positive guidance, don't dodge or complain.

As mentioned earlier, WeChat is an important channel for me to communicate with my children. His age may not be suitable for face-to-face chat, but through WeChat attention, he can feel our parents' reading, love and even a little idealism, which may inspire him.

Regarding logistics support, everyone must have their own brilliant ideas, but in addition to delicious meals and warm care, they can also undertake most of the work of enrolling students through special channels and learn professional volunteers in advance.

The third sentence, might as well be a little detached.

Senior three can't say that parents are not nervous at all, unless it's none of their business. It is estimated that many parents have received calls from many training institutions and heard all kinds of recruitment information through various channels. It is good to have information, but fragmented information, even biased information, will only make us feel at a loss, confused and even anxious. In fact, there are only a few tangled things:

1. Can't I attend extracurricular remedial classes? Our children have never been to school, so they can't provide experience. If you have this idea, we suggest that you must discuss it with your children and seek the opinions of the class teacher and the classroom teacher.

2. Does the school need extra classes? It is recommended to follow the arrangement of the school. As mentioned above, the teaching arrangement of No.4 Middle School is a mature system. How to arrange it is our school's own business and has nothing to do with other schools. We are not compared with any school.

3. How to get extra points in colleges and universities, especially in Beiqing? Whether it is a strong foundation, an elite class, Qiu Chengtong, or other independent selection, the initiative to add points is in the hands of colleges and universities. Our classmates have only one initiative to strive for the best results in the college entrance examination. No matter whether you get extra points or not, naked points are very important.

4. What should I do if my grades fluctuate or are not ideal? This year, it is estimated that the mood of some parents and classmates will fluctuate with the ranking of grades. Here, I would like to quote a sentence written by Wang, a grade 20 14 student from Guanghua College of Peking University, after attending the enrollment work this year: The college entrance examination really examines the perseverance and cool mind when preparing for the exam, and the independent spirit and free will when applying for the exam. Our parents should have shielded their children from interference, which requires us to have strong anti-interference ability.

The real starting line for children is not the number of opportunities, but the pattern of parents. We should be as calm and patient as possible to accompany our children step by step.

Although the most important thing in senior three is grades, I still want to say that it's not just grades. High school has not yet been completed, so we should encourage and support children's all-round growth outside of study and cherish every day at school. Scores are temporary, and growth is lifelong.

Let me tell you the truth. Now I am very happy, not only because my child got the ideal score, but also because of the following things:

At noon on June 23, 65438, he was waiting to see his junior high school teacher at the entrance of junior high school, instead of waiting to check the score;

2. He donated blood for the first time, and then he and his classmates worked non-stop to prepare for the seniors' aid;

His holiday plan still includes volunteering in the orphanage with his friends, who have been there for three years;

4. Firmly apply for the goal of volunteering. I am glad that he knows how to be grateful, how to be responsible, how to persist and how to be firm in his goals. Take this opportunity to thank No.4 Middle School again!

Finally, I would like to share the qq signature I have been sharing with my children: warmth is the strongest will, simplicity is the simplest business card, persistence is the most affectionate hug, tolerance is the most patient waiting, and flowers will quietly open.

Singapore Airlines has been paying attention to the entrance examination for many years and has been helping children's entrance planning. We will wholeheartedly tailor the entrance path for your children and contribute to their diversified development!