When I first met him, I thought the man I liked was from Shenyang because I saw the column "City" in the description of QQ marked Shenyang. Only after chatting online did I know that he was actually a newcomer to QQ, wearing a vest and bluffing. The problem is that after knowing him for so long, the place of residence in his personal description has not changed. In fact, he is from Fushun like me.
At first, I didn't know the true identity of the man I liked when I traded online. What impressed me at first was the reply in my hometown post bar: Xiaoxue, I like your article very much. I watched it for a long time last night. Don't know how to contact your QQ. My number is ...
Intuitively, this should be someone I know, but after applying for a friend, the other person has been offline. Soon, I found a message from a "tourist" on the literary blog: read some of your blog posts every day, just like an old smoker, and smoke a soft Chinese when you are tired.
The deja vu reply makes me feel that both the reply and the message should come from the same person.
"What kind of smoke is Soft China?" Although I always deal with novels arbitrarily, I really can't master everything. I have to ask my husband a simple question.
"What do you mean?" Husband doesn't understand, ask me.
"Just answer whether Soft China is a good cigarette or a bad cigarette!" At this time, although I was eager to give a clear answer, my understanding and understanding of cigarettes was almost absurd because I didn't understand it, but I knew the weight of my words from my husband's blurted answer. I dare not ignore those comments that are more important than my words and carefully copy them into my diary.
Later, through the convenient network, everything became a necessity of nature. Readers and authors soon changed from strangers to acquaintances, and from strangers to acquaintances. I also wrote this natural process into the article Passers-by according to my previous habit. However, although some remarks at the end of the narrative are not satisfactory, they are still openly described as the ending I don't want to face, because I don't want to contradict the facts.
"This made me extremely disappointed and felt a little lost. I want a reader who can make a sound through his own words and let him disappear into my life. I don't want to, but I have no choice. I deleted his QQ number, and also deleted the number in my mobile phone that I never called. After doing this, I naturally thought of a character in my novel. Only then did I discover that such a figure is actually my soul.
Of course, this is just a written record. As expected, one more friend or one less friend is not as complicated as expected. However, two months later, the man who secretly loved me found those words related to him in my blog and immediately complained to me in the form of words: I didn't understand! Why did you delete the QQ number and mobile phone number of passers-by? Is it a kind of resentment? Or vent? Even if the man doesn't show up for a while, do you know what he did? Will he come back tomorrow? After all, you are an enthusiastic reader, how can you be so cruel!
I was speechless for a moment, and suddenly I felt that any promise in the world is not necessarily "necessary" to be fulfilled, especially from the readers' feelings. It is just a feeling of passing by, and the process of mutual cognition is a result. It is naive or even irrational to believe that promises can be fulfilled. I became open-minded and cheerful, and felt extremely happy and lucky to have such a "scholar" as a playboy.
I no longer emphasize objectivity, but continue to focus on my words. Occasionally stop to think about the present situation of life. I feel a lot of things, some are unexpected, some seem to be destiny takes a hand, different people appear in different time and space, so that when I can't find my way at the crossroads, I can get the guidance of the other party in time, nod my head and thank others, and then go on the road lightly. This is an easy thing for me.
I realized that people are simple because they are not simple, and people are complicated because they are not complicated.
Two years later, almost the same as when I first met Fancy Man, because of the enterprise system reform, I was in a special position. At this time, many people became unfamiliar and unrecognizable again because of a foreseeable change, while others who were almost irrelevant appeared in my life and work with almost the same and similar enthusiasm. Fancy man also changed his vest as before and left a message on my blog: Work hard. And from time to time, you have to face all kinds of temptations that make you want to give up what you are trying to do. To be a good writer, there are many things besides writing skills ...
This feeling of deja vu was not discovered at first, but it soon convinced me that this new blogger is a playboy. However, those awkward ellipses let me know that hesitation is obviously a matter of words, worry or helplessness, contradiction or relief, especially the QQ of Fancy Man has made corresponding changes in time. The personality signature below the avatar is from the original "the past is gone, there is no distracting thoughts in my heart, only missing and sighing." A song leaves two lines of tears, I don't know where to meet again. "It reminds me, I can't help but imagine, maybe, I'm still lobbying for someone or something as before. Those words I didn't say were not just looking at flowers in the fog, but also facing each other across an invisible barrier. When faced with another variety of choices in life, I know that I have been ruthlessly exiled by the man I like.
Even with these words.
Human feelings are an inescapable bond.
Perhaps, I was born with an old habit that is hard to change. I didn't reply in my blog, but quickly tore off a piece of paper the size of a palm in the early morning, and when I turned off the computer, I hurriedly wrote down what I wanted to say to the man I liked. Then, I put it in my bag, ready to let the man I secretly love know my true state of mind through short messages when I am free in class, and, as at the beginning, I will tell all the processes after sending the short messages.
Although this decision is impulsive, immature and irrational, I have to do it, because the cruelty of the enterprise situation and the warmth and coldness of the human situation make me have to associate this seemingly accidental fact with necessity. At this time, what is right and wrong, what is right and wrong, what is true and false, because the fetus is flesh and blood, and it is impossible to distinguish the difference between diving and irrigation, which makes the root of all motives and the behavior itself have reasonable excuses and excuses.
I became confident and didn't hesitate, even though I had to.
However, when I get to class, I can't send short messages in time because of one meeting after another and all the people I have to face under certain circumstances. During this period, I was too busy to check the message in time, and soon forgot all about my private affairs. Just before noon, I remembered the decision I made early in the morning and quickly dug out the pieces of paper that I had already carried in my pocket. Although I lost my enthusiasm early in the morning and doubted whether such recklessness was feasible, I accidentally found the short message that had been dormant in my mobile phone all morning, which immediately brought me an amazing surprise: I can read your blog from time to time, just like a music lover has the opportunity to relax and listen to his favorite famous songs.
It's from playboy.
I don't know what words I should use to reply, and I don't know what words I can use to explain the possibility that just happened, but it didn't happen for various reasons. I don't know what reason I can use to adjust and correct my realistic mentality. For my selfish resentment, for the suspicious surroundings, I was shocked by an impossible cause and effect that became possible and an irrelevant cause and effect that became natural.
I began to be glad that I was busy, that I wouldn't steal time in my busy life, and that I let a completely possible mistake pass me by at such a right time. What is more precious than this process and result? No, in other people's places, there may be many. For me, just once, I can't expect it. This result, whether it is a playboy or me, is equally lucky. Because a message that arrived in time and a message that didn't go out in time saved a completely or irretrievably broken injury and sadness. Although it is just a game of playing with words in the end, my secret joy and peace of mind that everything is unsatisfactory remind me of what playboy said: Who am I, or what can I do except use it?
Think of me, I am reckless, and I have an infinitely lucky ending. Perhaps this is fate's hard work and reward for me to face words day and night. I achieved a rare fate in a way that silence speaks louder than sound, and in a way that is coincidental and unique.
Through Baidu, I found the birthday password of Fancy Man. I know that the person born on that day has a far greater influence on the people around him than he imagined. And both enemies and friends make me very happy, and I deeply know that I can't escape my inescapable life through the internet, so I make up my mind not to do ridiculous things. Only then did I find that the pursuit of perfection has always been ruthless. Like a child who hasn't grown up, he has to sigh again and again, and put his luck and gratitude on the shelf or on the record. Although, after thinking about it, it's just an illusory word. On him, he may have done something unintentionally, but on me, it's like a novel plot. However, after all, life is virtual between networks, how can it be equated with reality?
Or are you stupid?
It just suddenly occurred to me that on the birthday of the man I secretly loved, I accidentally found the Mid-Autumn Festival greeting card made by the man I secretly loved with my head in the mailbox, the elegance of Song lyrics, and the fish and flowers scattered in the space, which put me in a beautiful and harmonious place, as if I were quietly thinking about how rich my desire for life is. Finally, it is a rare state of mind to be contented and want nothing more.
It's me, but it doesn't seem to be me.
Think about this world, because of the words, that fancy man will definitely take my words away. It's an article, a story and a wonderful life. Neither too early nor too late. At the moment when I need it, at the moment when I am bound to feel confused and contradictory about something, it is tepid, like a viaduct across the two banks, like an ancient tree connecting heaven and earth, which makes me firm and stubborn, and there is no retreat in life.
This is a rare fate. No matter what happens, there is a reason. How can we not cherish it?
Xiaoxue: Thank you for your understanding and trust. I am willing to be your friend or I can be your friend because your words have been attracting me, and my concern for you comes from your works at most. Almost 50 years old, I suddenly feel that life is so good, far from being tired before. I really care about my family, friends and colleagues. While bringing happiness to others, I can really bring more happiness to myself!
When we met again on the Internet, I talked about all kinds of things related to it. In playboy, I was forgiven as always, but in me, I made another new world. Because, I saw each other's maturity, or in the form of words, and I, in that maturity, collapsed selfishness and disappeared without a trace.
Acquaintance is accidental, and acquaintance is inevitable.
God couldn't help laughing when he saw all this, because his powerful wand was directing all this.
Whether it's surprise or gratitude.