2. Buddy: It is said that a woman's ideal weight is that when a man hugs you, his brow will not wrinkle. Me: Really? Then I will trim my husband's eyebrows when I go back tonight.
My father taught me to use chopsticks when I was a child, and beat me after a long time. Now that I have grown up, I instruct my father to use his mobile phone. He didn't study long, but he beat me up. Love is so unreasonable.
I fell down the stairs today, but for so much meat, how painful it would be!
As an amateur fitness enthusiast, I'll give you some popular science: three points depend on practice, seven points on eating, and 90 points are born.
6. I feel that this society is getting better and better, and everyone is very sensible. Boys are very sensible and want to take care of more girls as soon as they have money. Girls are also very sensible, knowing that boys have no money and will not be with this boy, fearing that he will work hard.
7. When I was a child, I saw my father working hard, so I made up my mind that I would never work when I grew up.
8. When Dad started playing WeChat, I pretended to be a stranger and added him, trying to fool Dad. Today, he began to tell me that his son failed to live up to expectations. Hey, talking too much is all tears!
9. Dad is a kind person and has never hit me. Once I really made him angry and then beat me up. The mother on the side suddenly said: Husband, the way you hit people is awesome! In this way, dad will be down a peg or two from time to time.
10. I heard that people with big faces are generally super good-tempered, because it is really difficult to turn their faces.
1 1. When I was a child, I thought I was a person who did great things. Later, I always heard people say that big things were not good, so I gave up.
12. Every time the teacher finishes the topic, he always asks me if I understand it. I always feel that the teacher is too kind to me. On graduation day, he suddenly said, "It's good to have you in this class. If you understand, I know everyone must understand. "
13. People have only one worry when they are not full; There are countless troubles when you are full.
14. Those who gave their husbands big red envelopes, I just want to ask, how do you run your family? Why does your husband have so much money?
15. The child asked his mother: Then why did you marry your father? Mom said: Mom was blind before she married your dad! The child asked his father again: Why is our family so poor? Dad said: all the money in our family has been given to your mother to treat her eyes!
16. I really don't understand that being fat will be laughed at. You people who turn rice into shit have no right to laugh at those who turn rice into meat!
17. You have an appointment. She is very nice and gentle to you, and she will do whatever you like. Everything depends on you. It's your mother's fault for waking you up.
18. I just went to bed and found someone pulling my quilt. I kicked her out of bed, thinking that ghosts are getting bolder and bolder now, and dare to grab Lao Tzu's quilt! On second thought, I thought I got married yesterday!
19. After getting up today, I said to my husband: I want to make up. These idiots came to a sentence: that's not makeup, it's transformation.
20. Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend sitting in the back seat of a battery car, holding her current boyfriend's waist, shivering with cold. I raised my mouth, smiled smugly and got on the warm bus.
2 1. Once on the bus, I met a child and asked his mother, "Mom, what does that weakness mean to the old, the weak and the sick?" Mom replied, "It means retarded." As a result, the child looked around and said to me, "Uncle, sit down ..."
22. One day, I took out my fire jar and went swimming. A little girl saw it running over in tears and shouted, mom, mom, look at the ladybug! I turned to defend myself, and the girl got a fright: Mom, it's still ladybug essence!
23. Once upon a time, a robber said, "Give me the money, and the first person will pay 100 yuan, the second one will leave 200 yuan, the third one will leave 300 yuan, and so on." Later, everyone rushed to pay the money, and some people cut in line!
24. I called the name of my first girlfriend several times in my sleep. My wife woke me up and asked me warily, "Who are you calling?" I quickly concealed: "I dream of being a teacher and want students to answer questions." The wife asked, "Then why do you always let the same student answer questions in one class?" I paused, and then replied, "Because I am a tutor."