2002 Spring Festival Gala Program

Sketch Name: Flower Pot

Screenwriters: Huang Hong, Zhang Zhenbin, Wang Chengyou, Shang Jing

Director: Shang Jing

Performers: Huang Hong, Gong Hanlin, Zhang Kaili

Specific lines:

Huang and Zhang: Selling ~~~flower~~~pots

Kelly: There are many happy events in the country this year.

Huang: We sold dozens of carts of flowerpots.

Kelly: The Olympic bid was successful and the flowerpots sold like crazy. ,

Huang: I won the football game, and the flowerpot became popular,

Kelly: I won the WTO, and the flowerpot became popular,

Huang: A The Parker Conference was held in Shanghai, and our flowers were laid out all over the street.

Kelly: Come, bring me the money to buy the pot today.

Huang: Just leave me alone for a while.

Kelly: Hurry up!

Huang: That’s all.

Kelly: That pocket!

Huang: A little more.

Kelly: What about up there?

Huang: (takes off his hat) No more.

Kelly: What’s next?

Huang: (Take off shoes) They are gone.

Kelly: Really gone? (Go forward to inspect)

Huang: The inspection is stricter than that of American aircraft factories.

Kelly: Oh, mom, put it on quickly, your toes are exposed.

Huang: Yes, yes.

Kelly: You look at the stall here for a while, and I’ll buy you a pair of socks.

Huang: Okay, buy me socks... Oh my god, that’s so mysterious! (As soon as his wife left, he immediately took out the money from his right sock) Sixty-five yuan! My wife knows so well that she checks your income every day, and even hides it in the most confidential places, from your outerwear to your underwear. To have a harmonious family life, a man must have a small treasury, right? It seems they all feel it. Break it into pieces and hide it in a flowerpot. Hide 5 yuan in this basin, for those who smoke; hide 10 yuan in this basin, for those who drink; I hide 50 yuan in this bucket, to prevent others from getting behind.

Gong: Hey - old comrade

Huang: Here comes the business!

Gong: How much does a flowerpot cost?

Huang: Special offer during the Spring Festival, 50 cents each.

Gong: Oh, it’s so cheap, and it’s also soiled?

Huang: This is called convenient service.

Gong: Look, farmer friends are benefiting from doing business!

Huang: Oh, these flowers are nice.

Gong: Don’t move. If you know what kind of flower this is, why don’t you touch it?

Huang: Isn’t it just a red rose?

Gong: Do you know him?

Huang: I also know that red roses are meant to express love to one’s lover.

Gong: Yes.

Huang: Wild Rose is just for the outside.

Huang, Gong: Hahahaha...

Gong: Are there two more basins here? (Gong found the two flower pots where Huang had hidden the money next to the stall)

Huang: Wait a minute, brother, I'm sorry, these two pots can't be sold.

Gong: Why don’t you buy it?

Huang: Let me tell you the truth, don’t laugh at me. I am afraid of my wife...

Kelly: Why are you afraid of me? (Zhang is back)

Huang: It’s broken. (Turns around and says to Zhang) No, I'm afraid that this guy won't be able to pick this pot.

Gong: Ah, I picked it, and I want this pot.

(As he spoke, he picked up the flower pot with the money hidden in it)

Huang: Young man, why do you insist on this one when there are so many pots?

Gong: Hey, since there are so many pots, why can’t I have this one?

Huang: If you want this, the minimum is 5 yuan! (Snatching the flower pot)

Gong: How come the 50 cents you just talked about now become 5 yuan so quickly?

Huang: Prices are allowed to float freely!

Kelly: What are you doing, old man?

Huang: What are you doing?

Kelly: Young man, I have the final say, 50 cents!

Gong: 5 cents.

Huang: What 5 cents? !

Kelly: 5 cents!

Huang: 5 yuan!

Kelly: 5 cents!

Huang: 5 yuan! (Huang holds a flower pot with 5 yuan hidden in it) Look at the flower pot, you covered it, right?

Kelly: Oh, I’m so sorry, young man.

Gong: It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, just treat it as New Year’s greetings to everyone. Hey, look at the Chinese New Year, don't get into trouble just for a few dollars, forget it, 5 dollars is 5 dollars.

Huang: Hey! (Gong said and gave the money to Zhang, who was very embarrassed.)

Gong: This shopping is just a psychological effect.

Huang: Is it just a psychological effect?

Gong: Actually, these flower pots are all the same to me!

Huang: All the same!

Gong: Just take one and be done with it. (Gong picked up another flowerpot with 10 yuan hidden in it and prepared to leave)

Huang: Hey! Wait a minute! ! ! Brother, this pot costs 10 yuan.

Gong: What do you mean? !

Kelly: What are you doing, old man? ! ! You are too dark!

Huang: What’s so black? You don't understand what's going on here. Brother, this pot is indeed 10 yuan, and this pot is 5 yuan. The two pots are different. You want this pot, it's cheap. (Speaking, he held the flower pot with 5 yuan hidden in his hand to Gong)

Gong: No! Good products are not cheap, and good products are not cheap! 10 yuan is 10 yuan! Now you take it. (Take out 10 yuan and get 5 yuan back)

Huang: Oh, brother, I’m so sorry.

Gong: Oh, forget it, forget it...

Huang: Give me another 50 cents... (Gong and Zhang both agreed. Startled)

Gong: A profiteer, a complete profiteer!

Kelly: Brother, take this basin!

Gong: No! You must be his accomplice! What to do? From 5 cents to 5 yuan, from 5 yuan to 10 yuan, you still want the price to rise. What are you buying?

Yellow: flowerpot.

Gong: Is it gold?

Huang: That’s not the case.

Gong: Is it silver?

Kelly: No.

Gong: Can money grow in your flowerpot?

Huang: That's right... no no no...

Gong: His flowerpot can grow money! ! Huang: Brother, don’t shout. Kelly: He's scared. Huang: It’s scary. Gong: I don’t care! You let me grow it now, otherwise I will take you to the Industrial and Commercial Administration Office and revoke your business license! (Speaking and taking away their car keys)

Huang: Big brother, don’t... Kelly: (Said to Huang) Are you holding it in? Are you scared? Let me see how you can make money for people! ! ! Huang: Hey, big brother, aren’t you making things difficult for me? You said you need all kinds of crops? I don’t have a penny in my pocket. How can I give it to you? Gong: I do! 5 yuan, this is the seed for you, you plant it, and I will see how it will make money? Come? Huang: (With a helpless look on his face, he gritted his teeth) Then, if I want to plant it, you let me go?

Gong: If you can’t plant it, come with me!

Huang: Let me try.

Gong: That’s nonsense. How can it make money?

Huang: (Plant 5 yuan) Dig a hole, bury some soil, and count one, two, three, four, five. Plant 5 pieces and double the amount. In fact, this is simple. (Then he took out two pieces of 5 yuan from the basin. Gong and Zhang were so surprised that they almost fell to the ground)

Huang: This is your seed.

(Hands 5 yuan back to Gong) This is our harvest. (Hands the other 5 yuan to Zhang)

Gong: Don’t move! (Go over and check the flowerpot to see if there is really money in it)

Zhang whispered to Huang: Old man, how did you do it?

Huang whispered to Zhang: Go quickly!

Gong: Stop! Ha ha ha ha! You have money in your pocket! !

Huang: No, she just turned it over.

Kelly: Yes, I prove it.

Gong: Wait, give me back the 10 yuan you just paid! (When Huang Chenggong turned around, he immediately changed the flower pot where he had hidden 5 yuan into the flower pot where 10 yuan was hidden)

Gong: You can plant another 10 yuan flower for me!

Huang: Hey, big brother! Aren't you making things difficult for me? You said you can let me go after you plant it...

Gong: Oh, if you plant these 10 yuan, I will let you go! I don't believe it, you do! !

Huang: Let me try. Pay attention: (Plant 10 yuan) Dig a hole, bury some soil, and count one, two, three, four, five. It costs 10 yuan to plant and double the amount. This is actually quite shameful. (Then he took out two 10-dollar bills from the basin)

Gong: (surprised) Cough--cough--

Huang: Hey, what? This is your seed. This is our harvest.

Gong: (taking the 10 yuan) Sir.

Huang: What? Did you call me uncle when you saw the money?

Gong: Oh no, you are the uncle!

Huang: Young man, don’t do that in the future. How can you prevent others from doing so?

Gong: Yes!

Huang: Society is developing and science is progressing. No one can guarantee what will grow in the soil. Life is cloned, crops are genetically modified, and cash grows in the soil. We farmer brothers have been asking for land and money for many years. After so many years, our ideals have come true! ! !

Kelly: No, there must be a ghost here! (Speaking, he secretly checks the situation inside the bucket)

Gong: But uncle, I don’t understand it. It’s incredible. Is this a chemical reaction or a physical reaction?

Huang: It...

Kelly: Human reaction! (As he said this, he had already taken out the 50 yuan that Huang had hidden in the bucket)

Huang: Don’t worry about the reaction. I planted it anyway, and you’re still not convinced?

Gong: I’m convinced!

Huang: If you are convinced, just sit down.

Gong: Uncle, can you plant one for me with a higher face value? !

Huang: What do you mean can it be done? As long as it has face value, it can be planted. I'm not bragging to you. You just gave me 5 and 10 yuan. If you want to give me 50 yuan, I'll do the same!

Gong: Really?

Huang: Take it!

Gong: Then you can plant 50 for me...

Huang: No problem!

Gong: US dollars!

Huang: Beautiful... (falling to the ground)

Kelly: Hahahaha...

Huang: Isn't this just looking for trouble? He even took out the US dollars. Young man, um, are you a member of the people?

Gong: Of course I am the people.

Huang: Look how much you look like the people in every aspect. Since you are the people, we will plant RMB, which is more friendly.

Kelly: Just plant whatever the customer asks you to plant!

Huang: What are you scared of? ! If you plant something foreign on your own land, you may not be able to grow anything.

Gong: It would be better if you grow pounds!

Huang: If the yen grows, won’t it fall?

Kelly: No matter what you look like, it’s just money.

Gong: Yes! Can you give me a try first?

Kelly: Give it a try!

Gong: Try?

Huang: As long as you two say this, I will give it a try. As the saying goes, the land is as productive as the people are bold.

Kelly: You can plant as many seeds as you want in the pot!

Huang: Are you watching? Almost learned this. Pay attention: (Plant $50) Dig a hole, bury some soil, and count one, two, three, four, five.

Your own soil, your own land, whatever you plant will produce RMB... (Gong was full of impulse, but... Huang looked at Gong and could only "smile")

Kay Li: How long is it?

Huang: Don’t worry: it’s my own soil, my own land, I just can’t touch the RMB! (He keeps digging into the bucket)

Kelly: Has it grown?

Huang: What are you bragging about? She is so impatient!

Gong: You can’t encourage growth! Let me give you some water.

Huang: Wait a minute! Isn’t that even more intangible? My own soil, my own land...

Kelly: (holding up the 50 RMB in her hand) Everything you plant will grow RMB, and it will grow on its own!

Gong: Oh? !

Huang: Did you see it? Boy, this shows that the RMB is still strong. The Asian economy is not in recession because of its leadership!

Gong: But there is one thing I don’t understand, uncle.

Huang: Tell me!

Gong: Why did the money you planted go to her?

Huang: Do you want to know? Give me the car keys. Young man, you just got married and you don’t feel deeply about it. If you get married for a few years, you will learn to hide money from your wife.

Gong: Hidden! !

Huang: Hidden! ! !

Huang, Gong: Hahahaha... (Huang turned around and looked at his wife, Zhang's expression was funny and angry)

Huang: Wife Son, don't be angry. I was hiding it from you for fun!

Kelly: Old man, it’s my fault too, maybe I was too tight on the money.

Huang: It’s tighter.

Kelly: But isn’t that all for your body?

Huang: I know.

Kelly: You said, if you take more supplements or something, wouldn’t it be better than smoking and drinking? Here, honey.

Huang: (Taking the honey, feeling happy) Young man, do you see it? In this life, what you eat in your stomach is called food, what you wear on your body is called clothes; what you give to your lover is flowers, and what you give to your lover is your wife!

Gong: Ouch! So romantic and so cute! ! Here, this bouquet of red roses is given to you as a New Year gift!

Huang: Wait a minute, I will give you a basin, and you, give me a flower. It’s Chinese New Year, it’s like buying a hairpin for my wife! Come on, honey, I'll bring it to you. (brings a red rose to Zhang's head)

Huang: Goodbye!

Gong: Thank you!

Huang: Good people match good flowers!

Kelly: A good person deserves a good family!

Gong: Life must be sweeter than honey!

Huang: Never hide money with your wife! Wait a minute, honey, wait a minute, I still have 5 yuan left!

Kelly: Ah, there’s more? !