4 1 year-old Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington hanged himself at home.

If it weren't for the overwhelming news barrage page, I would have forgotten that they accompanied me through the most difficult days when I was young.

However, if I can, I would rather not think about them like this all my life.

I heard Linkin Park for the first time because of a game.

At that time, I was fourteen years old, sensitive, suspicious, rebellious, withdrawn and tired of learning. I always feel that I am not valued, so I hate everything around me for no reason.

Unlike many heavy metal rock bands, they have no deafening cries, no abuse, no swearing, but they always give people endless power. They are a clear stream in western rock bands.

2 Grammy Awards, 3 World Music Awards, 4 MTV Music Video Awards, 5 American Music Awards and 10 MTV mtv European Music Awards. ...

It was only yesterday that I realized that they had won countless honors over the years.

I think, at any time, they are countless fans and my pride.

At fourteen, I always can't learn English well. The middle-aged woman who teaches us English is forty years old, with small curly hair and fierce.

When I can't recite the text, write words or understand grammar, she always reaches out and squeezes my arm. I will always remember the subtle pain.

What makes me sad is not the pain, but the shame in front of more than 60 students in my class. Unlike most people, I am not the kind of heartless child.

At that time, in addition to English textbooks, I was accompanied by Linkin Park on the rooftop.

I will watch the sunset, listen to those familiar melodies over and over again, and feel that they are injected into my body like medicine, smoothing the shame attached to my heart. In the bloody sunset, I can feel that I have been revived by blood.

Later, I learned English well. When my mother thanked her English teacher with gifts, I always hid behind her and hated her forever.

What I need to thank is Linkin Park, who accompanied me throughout my youth and gave me courage and strength when I was lonely and confused.

Some netizens said, you know, I have enough money to buy infield tickets now. Now I don't have to secretly print out the lyrics and hide them under the covers. I have bought all your albums. I have improved my English now and know more about what you want to tell me in the song. I miss you now. There is a good singer in heaven. May you be treated gently.

Some people say that my friend keeps telling me the news of your suicide. During this period, a friend asked me if I was lucky or unlucky to go to your concert 15. I replied that he was lucky enough to at least give me a chance to photograph the best of you during your trip to China.

I suddenly remembered Nan Goldin's words: I often think that if I take enough photos, I won't lose anyone again. In fact, my photos show how much I have lost.

Someone left a message, Optimus Prime. Can you do me a favor? If I see a man with short hair, a tattoo of Linkin Park tattooed on his back and waist, a family abbreviation tattooed on his chest, six small hands clasped together on his back, a Pisces in his left hand and a koi fish in his right hand, who always likes to shout his own songs, can you help me take care of him?

Some netizens said, "Brother, have you ever heard of Linkin Park?" "Oh, is that a band?" "No, that's an era."

Throughout the day, Linkin Park's comments on Netease Cloud Music were constantly refreshed almost every second.

Probably no one wants to believe that the concert I was excited about when I bought the ticket suddenly lost the lead singer.

His songs accompanied many people's youth in the 1980s and 1990s. He comforted countless lonely souls with music, but his own pain and despair were not redeemed.

Chester Bennington's mother is a nurse and her father is a local policeman. From the age of 7, he was sexually assaulted by an adult man because he was ashamed to talk to others. This devastating experience lasted for six years.

1987, the divorce of parents cast a lingering shadow on Chester's mind, when Chester was only 1 1 year old.

He said that rock music is an important tool for him to vent his feelings.

I changed a lot of schools because I moved a lot. Because it is difficult to quickly integrate into the new environment, he is also the object of exclusion throughout high school, and his classmates regard him as a freak who can be bullied at will.

These experiences made Chester want to escape countless times, and he even thought about suicide.

Although the world is not friendly to him, he doesn't want to hurt others, but tries to reconcile with the world with the best wishes. He founded the world public welfare organization, was enthusiastic about charity, and called on the world to pay attention to environmental protection. In June 2008, the band originally planned to give a concert to help the post-disaster reconstruction work in Wenchuan, Sichuan, China, but the concert was forced to be cancelled due to the recurrence of Chester's back injury.

After learning that the person who abused himself in childhood had suffered the same injury, he chose to forgive.

He never thought of hurting others in the past, but silently chewed the pain, digested the disaster and pushed himself to hell step by step.

In order to release the pain of the mind, drugs and alcohol once became his way of paralyzing himself.

Later, he discovered music.

He used music to relieve his inner depression, songs to vent his inner feelings, and words to express his understanding of the world.

He sings:

Me? Have you tried? So what? difficult

I struggled hard.

And then what? Understand? So what? far

Go now.

But? Are you online? That? end

Finally found out

It? Isn't it? Even? material

It turned out to be useless.

I had to fall.

Out of control

Lose all this

Lost everything

Looking back now at the new album "Dear People Can Save Me, Goodbye" released in May, it seems that every sentence is full of hints.

It is reported that a week before his suicide, he was still happily recording the program and taking photos with his friends with a smile.

No one knows what was the last straw that crushed his will. Maybe the injured man hasn't given up the idea of suicide for years.

Because July 20th was his best friend chris cornell's birthday, he hanged himself on May 17 of the same year at the age of 52. It is hardly a coincidence that Chester ended his life in the same way on the day when his best friend was born at the age of 53.

"I tried, but in vain."

-Chester Bennington

His pain and loneliness are like a thick mist hanging over the city. A beam of sunlight tried to pierce the darkness with a probe countless times, but it was finally defeated in the struggle with it.

Chaste, who has been stubbornly roaring, has been fighting endlessly with the quagmire that has plagued him for many years. Perhaps, outside the spotlight, in countless endless nights, he has mechanically paralyzed himself, just seeking to make the pain disappear. There are countless ordinary people like you and me. Like him, they have been hiding in an empty corner and licking the wounds in their hearts.

Who hides in a place where no one is crying and pretends to live as if nothing has happened?

He said that the career is brilliant, and the shadow of childhood can't be seen.

Everyone can see the glamour on the surface, but no one can tell the sadness behind it.

Chester's crooning and growling are about the struggle and struggle of every ordinary living thing in the face of a difficult life.

That hoarse voice is the horn issued by the hero, and we resist all pressures and go upstream. Because we have inherited the courage and determination of heroes to go forward and never give up, we will never give up until the last moment!

So stand up and fight! ! !

No matter how many blows the cruel life has given us, I hope each of us can face the difficulties, erin brockovich, and never give up.

The moment I saw the news page, it circulated in my earplugs for a whole day.

Countless times, I heard my throat choked and tears filled my eyes.

I believe he deserves every fan's memory.

Someone once said that people will die three times in this life, and the first time your heart stops beating, then, from a biological point of view, you are dead; The second time was at the funeral, when your relatives and friends came to pay their respects. From a social point of view, you are dead. The third time is after the death of the last person who remembers you, then you are really dead.

Although he is gone, he will always be with us in the hearts of countless fans who love Linkin Park.

"All my ego comes from my inferiority complex, and all my heroism comes from my weakness. I am eloquent because my heart is full of doubts, and I am affectionate because I hate my ruthlessness.

Nothing in this world is for nothing. Standing in the light, there will be shadows behind you. There was silence in the middle of the night because you didn't hear the sound. "

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