"If you don't think so, then don't."
Zhang Guoqing, a researcher at China Academy of Social Sciences, said in an interview that the "three-day visibility" of friends circle was a failure.
"It can be seen in three days, which not only fails to protect privacy, but also encourages autism and violates social principles."
He believes that social media is based on mutual trust, and openness can form a good communication environment. Without openness, there is no social significance.
"More and more people set up' three-day visibility', which not only can't protect privacy, but also shows that people are often self-enclosed, psychologically fragile, and even lead to psychological problems and affect their life span.
Comparatively speaking, it is a responsible adult's practice to form a group and deal with one's emotional circle of friends in time, and it can also protect privacy. "
Therefore, in order to maintain the relationship with the friends you like, the circle of friends has to "set no time limit for the group"? I'm afraid many people disagree.
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There are different reasons for "three days visible"
Self-protection, shame, or more convenient.
The circle of friends is increasingly not an acquaintance circle, but a semi-acquaintance circle of "good and evil people mixed up".
There are not only familiar relatives and friends in the circle, but also teachers, classmates, leading colleagues, and even many praised acquaintances who have only met once, not to mention the WeChat business, salespeople and strangers from unknown sources.
As a propaganda channel that can't be let go, too many people's circle of friends has become "public and private". Looking back a long time ago, all records were links that could not represent themselves.
Facing the increasingly "socialized" circle of friends and the increasingly blurred network private space and public sphere, people hope to seek a balance between personal privacy and open social life, and seek a sense of security in social life-
I don't want my privacy to be peeked at, and I think that being completely closed will lead to misunderstanding, so I choose to be visible for three days, which not only gives others a chance to pay attention to myself, but also doesn't want to be completely seen through.
Some people have a whim to watch it for a few days, and then they start to wonder why they want to send such a circle of friends. The change of mood may make people feel that the circle of friends in the past has become embarrassing and shameful, and they are embarrassed to be completely open. It is necessary to set "private visibility" in time or simply delete it.
Compared with opening most of the circle of friends, "Visible in Three Days" saves the trouble of frequently reviewing and dealing with the circle of friends that has been made in the past, which is more time-saving and convenient, but makes people more open to express and speak freely.
Grouping, blocking or even closing the circle of friends may bring more unnecessary troubles and even lead to the crisis of "exhaustion of friends".
Compared with others, having friends in the circle of friends, or just chatting about a group of dynamics, can easily lead to estrangement and bad blood, embarrassing "friends".
To completely ban a person is to draw a clear line for the individual naked. Compared with the "three-day visibility" to the public, it has more potential "provocation" meaning. A cold horizontal line blocked all the dynamics, and there was a hint that "I am not familiar with you".
"Visible in three days" has at least a "warm reminder" that "this friend is only open for three days", suggesting that this behavior is not aimed at individuals, but at everyone, which is safer by comparison.
Three days can be seen as an incomplete opening, but at least, it is still an opening.
In contrast, group shielding is actually a more selective "adult autism"-some words can't help but make some people feel ill.
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Being open for a limited time does not mean being autistic.
Because of the different environment.
"Visible in three days" also has the meaning of timely reflection, continuous innovation and living in the present.
Oriental Confucian classic "University" has a cloud: "New is new, complex is new"; The ancient Latin in the west has the expression "eat, drink and be merry", which means that people should "live in the present, seize the day", that is, live in the present and seize today.
The English translation of the circle of friends is "instant", which can be understood as "now". At this level, it should be understood as "instant sharing", not personal database.
The circle of friends after three days is actually not within the scope of instant sharing. From this point of view, there is nothing to criticize after three days.
It is said that a circle of friends can encourage autism for three days, just like an accident when the speed is too fast, and in turn complain that the performance of the car is too good. Technology is neutral, and it is illogical to abandon people's own accountability for technology.
Are modern people really becoming more and more autistic on social networks? For young people who pay more attention to privacy, they need a sense of social security.
So some people say that young people "play dead in the circle of friends and dance in Weibo".
On the left is the status of people on facebook (equivalent to Weibo in China), and on the right is reality/? comicalconcept.com
American sociologist Granovett put forward the concept of the relationship between strength and weakness (1973,? Granovetter), social interaction on WeChat is a strong social interaction.
Strong relationship refers to interpersonal relationship with strong homogeneity, close relationship and strong emotional factors. Family, classmates, friends and colleagues all belong to this group. Send a selfie in a circle of friends, and maybe elementary school classmates, aunts and even company leaders will suddenly praise it.
Weibo is a kind of social interaction with weak relationships, with weak homogeneity of social networks and little emotional support, which may be due to a certain hobby or region, in other words, casual acquaintances. You can spit and scold on Weibo, because it's not so private.
Nowadays, with the development of Internet, people are suffering from the dependence of virtual society. To share your life in a circle of friends, you have to face the eyes of a large group of peers and be "watched" by seven aunts and eight aunts, which reminds people of the fear of being greeted by parents every Spring Festival.
According to Penguin Zhiku 20 17 WeChat users and ecology research report, the overall relationship chain of WeChat entered a stable period, and more new friends came from the working environment. Compared with the overall pan-working trend of WeChat, most users still regard the circle of friends as a private field, and more than 60% users choose to share their personal life records.
Thus, in the circle of friends, "confident and cheerful praise" became "swearing everything" in Weibo; Cleverly praise the leaders of colleagues in the circle of friends, and debate with netizens when you return to Weibo.
In the final analysis, the popularity of the three-day visibility function is still due to the strong relationship characteristics of WeChat social interaction.
Sociologist gofman's famous drama theory holds that society is a stage, and people express themselves in social interaction, just like an actor performing on the stage (1959, gofman). People's social interaction will vary with time, place and audience.
As a social media, WeChat extends people's vision and hearing, and also extends face-to-face socialization to the virtual world, turning the circle of friends into a huge place of strong relationships, that is, the stage. Therefore, in the circle of friends, there will naturally be "impression management" behavior.
This is also a concept put forward by Geffman. People will try to manage and control the process of others' impressions of themselves. The initial study of impression management was based on face-to-face communication, but it was later applied to virtual social networks.
People with normal social relations will have self-presentation behavior in order to be better accepted by others and serve their own goals.
Impression management has two basic forms: self-expression and self-action. Taking selfies, drying food and sharing experiences in a circle of friends are all self-expressions. Self-action is praise, comment and forwarding.
Face-to-face socializing does not have the function of recording friends, and it will not be seen again after three days. The audience can choose. However, there are too many social groups on WeChat, which makes it difficult to cope with the role change of "actors".
Because it is easy to manage, three days can be regarded as users' favorite social screening function to avoid "performance crash".
I took a selfie the day before yesterday, and I feel a little melodramatic today. I added a few new friends yesterday ... I don't want to delete the record of my life out of the impression management, so it can be seen that three days is the best choice.
▲ Save pictures and share them with friends?
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Friends circle "n days visible"
Unable to determine social outlook and mental health status.
The circle of friends itself cannot fully reflect a person's social concept and mentality, and "being visible for three days" is definitely not a reliable basis for judging whether a person is "autistic".
Some people's circle of friends becomes visible in three days, but they express themselves in two places that will not be easily found: "WeChat cover" and "personalized signature".
Compared with the specific expression of the circle of friends, the expression of the change of "WeChat cover" and "personalized signature" is abstract.
Not enough to record the details of life, more like the result of careful consideration; There is only a simple picture on the cover of WeChat, which is not enough to show the dribs and drabs of daily life, but more like careful selection.
Many people are not simply "autistic" or "talkative" on social platforms, and this attribute may be the same as what they show in real social life.
For people who have social phobia in real life, the internet makes them comfortable in the background, gives them a platform to express themselves in real life, and gives them the possibility of establishing social relationships that are difficult to establish in reality.
Who knows if those people in the circle of friends are a little "autistic" in real life?
What's more, as long as you can live seriously in your own way, you can't reach the pathogenic state of autism, and introversion is no big deal.
In real life, people with high emotional intelligence and wide connections may be introverted and low-key in the online world.
Which side is real? We don't know, but maybe they really need a cyberspace of their own.
Some people complain that "being visible for three days" makes their relationship with friends less intimate. The dividing line visible for three days seems to be the connecting shear line between them.
The circle of friends that can be seen in three days can cut off those relationships that should have been abandoned.
A good interpersonal relationship does not depend on a circle of friends.
Praise can't replace care, and comments can't replace greetings. This simplified lazy social way seems to lead us step by step to a danger that we should deal with friends, a strange circle that we think is more familiar but gradually alienated.
Instead of complaining about the isolation caused by not seeing for three days, it is better to reflect on our understanding of the function of friends circle: friends circle can not fully carry the function of communicating with friends, and real care and communication need more time and energy to listen, express and understand.
Yesterday's circle of friends is not worthy of your temperament and pattern today. Give others more opportunities for field trips.
Pick up your "autistic" friend and nag together.
References:
20 17 wechat users and ecological research report. Penguins are smart and cool.
[2] "The power of weak relationships." Mark granovetter. American Journal of Sociology, 78 (May): 1360- 1380.
[3] gofman and Owen. 1959. Self-presentation in daily life. New york: Two days.