1. Others look good when they smile, but you are different. You look funny.

2. When playing chicken, I can drive without walking, and I can squat in the house without lying on the hillside. The reality is so bleak that you can't live without a car or a house in the game.

3.A: I have two bad habits that bother me very much. The first bad habit is sleeping naked. B: That’s nothing! What about the second bad habit? A: Sleepwalking.

4. Marry a woman like me. Although it won’t cost you a fortune or a country, it will be enough to bankrupt you.

5. As long as everyone turns in the blank together, we can all be the first place, why do we have to kill each other!

6. Girls should never go out alone at night. It is really dangerous. There are barbecue and late-night snacks and desserts all over the street. No one can stop them. If you can't help but go to any one, you will gain a few pounds.

7. You have been taught not to spend money frivolously since you were a child, but when you grow up, you realize that there is no money for you to spend frivolously.

8. No matter how good-looking you are, one day you will get old. I think I may not be able to bear this loss, so I have never looked good.

9. Last month’s income was okay, so I ate what the dog ate. Last month’s income was relatively poor, so I ate what the dog ate. This month, I’m a cow, and I’m ready to eat a dog.

10. I am a relatively mature person, and things like not eating out of anger are only done after I am full.

11. People stand like a pine tree, sit like a bell, and walk like the wind. You stand like a pine tree, sit like an alarm clock, and walk like a stroke...

12. Your girlfriend wants She broke up with me, and in order to save the relationship, I posted a photo of her without makeup to my circle of friends. Sure enough, not only did she take the initiative to contact me, but she also vowed to me: "I'm not done with you!"

13. Foodies are generally kind-hearted, because they only think about eating every day and have no time to eat. Scheme against others.

14. Do you like small animals? Of course I do. How much do you like it? How can I say this? It’s all there every day!

15. The mother-in-law gave this recipe to her daughter-in-law, with the intention of teaching her how to cook. As a result, the daughter-in-law was very shy and said to her mother-in-law: Mom, you are too polite. You are so tired every day and you still ask me to order food for me to eat. This is not appropriate!

16. A true warrior dares to look squarely at his or her ID card, dares to post selfies without pornographic photos, and dares not to wear sunscreen on hot days.

17. I am only in my twenties. Love can arrive later, but express delivery and takeout cannot arrive even a little later.

18. My boyfriend and I made a bet, whoever messes with him first will lose. So 1 day...10 days...100 days...1 year passed. Today I found him posting photos of his baby at one month old on WeChat Moments.

19. Tell me what’s good about having a girlfriend. When a man marries a man, he will have two houses and two cars.

20. Selfies can beautify your appearance, but they should not be too excessive. Otherwise, when others see you in person, they will not only think you are ugly, but they will also think you are hypocritical!

21. My naughty child is still doing homework at ten o’clock in the evening. Me: It’s too late. Let’s do it tomorrow! Naughty kid: No! If I delay my female classmate’s copy tomorrow, she won’t like me.

22. Holding the hot cell phone while holding it, putting life and death aside, this is a rare brave moment in my life.

23. To deal with fatigue: sleep. Deal with fear: sleep. To deal with a cold: sleep. To deal with a broken love: sleep.

24. You want to be an independent little fairy, neither happy with things nor sad with yourself, optimistic and strong and not dependent on men, not pretending to be cute or coquettish, straightforward and simple and not playing tricks, stick to this. , not only can't get married, but also can't find a boyfriend.