1, sleep less before you die, I think you are a hibernating animal.
2. If you don't deteriorate in debauchery, you will deteriorate in emptiness.
We agreed to hang out with you, and when you are a thief, I will guard against the police.
When someone scolds you, you can reply. Are you introducing yourself?
Notre Dame de Paris lacks bell ringers. I think your major is right.
6, fat is a temporary thing, short is a lifetime thing, you don't have to mention each other.
7. What's the use of being handsome? Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece.
Chatting with you, I found that I am a person with high IQ.
9, others play the piano to the cow, you are more powerful, blow the cow to the sky.
10, I'm glad I won't mention your sadness when I see you so down and out now.
1 1. No artificial intelligence can compare with you, a born fool.
12, even if you step on shit, it will make you go back to the dog excrement luck, don't worry.
13, sorry to make you laugh. I'll pay attention next time.
14, others struggle the day after tomorrow, but you have natural inspiration.
15, you said you were dressed so cool, why do you look so weak?
16, please don't cry at my grave, I'm afraid it will dirty my path of reincarnation.
17, don't fall so beautifully? I can't believe a dog ate shit.
18, Mencius and Confucius can't help you solve it, so I have to help you.
19, get out of here and return to your world non-stop.
20. Fragrant perfume can't cover up the scum smell you smell all over.
2 1, you take your red carpet and I'll cross my zebra crossing.
22. See if you are not as smart as me? How can you be so stupid?
You are not ugly at all, but your beauty is not so obvious.
When I became a swan, you were still an egg.
25. The wolf's dream is to come back and continue to catch.
26. Why do people want to vomit when they see you? You are the only one to blame.
27, don't think of yourself as a superman, I am afraid that your underwear will show your ass.
God, you never helped me fulfill my wish, so I'm not going to have him.
29. Who doesn't use paper to shit unless you use your fingers instead of toilet paper?
30. You said you didn't know the darkness at night during the day. I only know that you don't know that I am sad.
3 1, the teacher's life is: sucking powder, selling music and making a stage.
32. You have never read a book, and you are full of vernacular.
33, or endure, or malicious, or malicious, or roll.
34. What is lovelorn? China lacks everything but people.
35. I miss you like autumn water, but you tell me you want to wear long pants.
36. China has few resources just because there are too many people, and everyone will use a little.
Get out of my body. I like being slim.
38. The wind is the most rogue, blowing girls' short skirts every time.
39. You are between embarrassment and ugliness, but you are ugly.
I never killed anyone, so I just killed a pig for something.
4 1. Being awakened by the alarm clock in the morning means that you are still alive.
42. Getting up every morning to catch the bus shows that you are not unemployed.
43. When you see someone contacting you on qq, someone sends you a text message, which means you still have friends.
44. The boss will call your name at every meeting, which shows that the boss is still paying attention to you.
45, the wallet is getting flatter and flatter, indicating that you have not wronged yourself, and it is useful to eat.
46. Tighter and tighter clothes show that you have not wronged yourself, and the food is still nutritious.
47. I really wanted to take a break and ask for leave, but I didn't approve it, which shows that you are not a useless person.
In fact, each of us likes going to school, but we just don't like going to class.
49. The son's lack of education will harm the whole family; If you don't teach your daughter well, you will harm others' whole family.
50. Learn to understand strange things and appreciate their farthest art.
Qq signature is funny and shocking
1. Next time a man scolds you for having thick legs, you should answer him, only your legs are thin and all three legs are thin. When I am angry, can you stop pouting and look at me with innocent eyes, which makes me want to laugh. I'm angry, okay?
3. treat money like dirt, but everyone is vying to be a scavenger.
4. Feelings that are not for the purpose of marriage are all for raising a wife for others.
Although it is good to get up early and go to bed early, I am in a good mood to get up late.
6. Your toilet cleaner and Fuyanjie can actually be used interchangeably, and their practical effects are the same.
7. Many practices are wine tables. You respected me and made me drink. Don't drive after drinking, or you will drive into the detention center.
Nowadays, the toilet has become a leisure area for students.
9. Without medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.
10. If your ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend fell into the sea at the same time, would you stay with me?
1 1, I have lived for 20 years and have done nothing for my country and people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches!
12. If you think I'm wrong, please tell me. I won't change it anyway. Don't hide your illness.
13, I hope I can write your name together all my life, whether on the wedding invitation or on the tombstone of the funeral.
14, after walking for so long, I found that the only thing I can rely on is myself.
15, don't let people get you easily, or you will be easily forgotten.
16, National Day passed so fast, just like a tornado, it was too late to do my homework.
17, God, I will never call you grandpa again. You don't love my granddaughter at all
18, I have a dream, I am as thin as a shadow. Do all chubby girls have this ideal?
19, don't even know Beckham, how dare you talk to me about basketball!
20. If a tree is not peeled, it will die; People are shameless and invincible in the world.
2 1, who said that being single is not good, love is precious, and the free price is higher. If you are single, you can throw both.
22. In ancient times, women were gods who could tolerate their men being ambiguous with other women.
23. The best love is to let go of your hand, and the best to let go is to kill him.
24. It's noon on weeding day. It's really difficult to attend classes. A little broken book, sitting all morning.
I'm especially glad that Sean's son didn't inherit his small eyes.
26. I have eight honors on my left and eight disgraces on my right, representing harmony in my waist and chest. People stop killing, while Buddhas stop killing!
27. Let's stay together until the sun stops rising, shall we?
28. After which noble family, your father is Marshal Tian Peng!
29. Grandpa said: Jay Chou must be a good monk when he becomes a monk, because his scriptures are so beautiful.
It is said that the tears you shed are the water in your head.
3 1, when your long hair reaches your waist, I'll open my double knives and walk sideways to take all your long hair away!
32. Since childhood, three people have been childhood friends. I thought when I grew up, they would chase me like in TV series. Unexpectedly, they are now preparing to get married abroad.
33. There are only two endings in love, either taking different routes or taking the same route.
34, the school is not a funeral home, check what remains! What are you still wearing?
35. I like you for a long time, and I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, I want to leave, even longer than a long time.
36, on a whim, take your photo as a desktop, TMD actually got a computer virus.
You should know that no matter what troubles or difficulties you encounter, you should tell me at the first time, and I will praise you at the first time.
Don't call me arrogant, I refuse to deal with animals!
39. There is a prison called a school, a prisoner called a student and a warden called a teacher.
40. Don't think that returning to your space after breaking up is nostalgia. I'll take a look at the toilet after taking a shit.
4 1, tell you not to push me, if you push me, I'll play dead for you!
42, people's peach blossom luck, just like the physiological cycle, is for a while.
43. As a dress, you can't take a bath by yourself. You asked me to wash it for you. You said: don't lose face in clothes!
44. The road ahead is so far away that it often puts me in the middle of nowhere!
45. I tried to give the world a warm hug, but I was slapped all around.
46. A good woman is like gasoline. Once she has it, she has power; A bad woman is like an airbag. Once she uses it, there will be a crisis.
47. Since life is a book, it is not worth making a fuss about a few typos.
48. I didn't like you at first sight. Who knows, the more you look at it, the less pleasing to the eye.
49. I knew it was so difficult to find a girlfriend, so I decided to kiss the doll.
50. Shareholders all heard that they were making money, and they all suffered losses. Don't believe when the bull market comes, and don't admit when the bear market comes.
5 1, model husband: the model daughter-in-law has the final say. My wife wants to eat cake, and I like porridge. My wife immediately stands against the wall as soon as she stares.
52. Principal, if you use this air conditioner safely, it will be sunny. If it is not safe, be careful when you go out at night!
53. On the road of life, when you try to climb up, there are always a few dogs trying their best to pull you down.
54. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.
If one day, I can't continue to breathe, it can only show that my world lacks air and you.
56. I've heard of many ways to lose weight, and I'm still fat enough to go through my life.
57. The so-called pig-like roommate should be that I have a cold. Tell him to come back and bring me a box of black and white. He brought me a pack of Oreos.
58. Remember what should be remembered, forget what should be forgotten, change what can be changed, and accept what cannot be changed.
59. You smiled, and my sky cleared up; You are upset, and my sky is overcast; Your every move affects my mood. Honey, I miss you in the honey pot!
60. I have fixed the wedding date, and now I just need to fix the groom.
6 1, fortunately, I am a fat man, and I can pinch my stomach when I am bored.
62. Take a trip on this spring day. I'll take you, you get the money.
63. I want to ask you, which grave explosion saved you?
64. When we remove the stumbling blocks laid by others, we may be paving the way for ourselves.
65. There is an attitude called sentimentality and righteousness, and a state called looking for trouble.
66. I like watching Naruto, because every episode kills a village of Japanese.
Your words have been locked in my memory. You can keep the key for me all my life.
68. If there were no moon, I wouldn't miss you. If there were no sun, I wouldn't care about you. Even if the sun and the moon cycle, how can I forget you?
69. If you are the one, if the female guest turns off the man's light again, the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can turn off the whole floor.
Ducks can't fly, but they can fly when cooked.
7 1. Smart women deal with men, stupid women deal with women.
72. I live in Hutongtou and she lives in Hutongwei. She plays day and night and drinks tap water.
73. If I study with half my love for you, I will become a headmaster.
You should be better than anyone, but you have a mobile phone.
75. Men have broken their heads and sent me money every day. Waiting in line for me to pick, I will never get old!
76. I came to this world in tears, and I will go back in tears!
77. I used to like her broad mind, but it was just an airport!
78. Gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am.
79. When I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital.
80. When did your first kiss happen? /kloc-when I was 0/8 years old, I said to a girl one year younger than me: I will push you into the ditch if you don't agree.
8 1. It is not terrible to meet a group of hooligans on the Internet, but it is terrible to meet a bunch of rogue software.
Personality signature is funny and shocking.
1, catch up with the thief and generally get back the loss; Catch up with female friends, and your loss has just begun.
The person who is angry with you will never know how many times he has put up with you.
There are fewer and fewer frogs in nature, and there are more and more frogs on the Internet.
There is a song like this: As long as you live better than me, I can't stand it.
Old class, don't bother to change my desk. I can talk anywhere.
6. Time is cruel only to those who look good originally, and there is nothing time can do for those who are born ugly.
7. I want to do what a good-looking girl can do by threatening.
8. Live in one place all your life and sleep next to one person all your life.
9. It turns out that Swallow became a director, Wei Zi became a director, Mei became a director, Jinsuo became a goddess, and only Erkang became an expression pack.
10, your lethality is too great. Last time you operated on me, I was ill for several days.
1 1, don't do anything wrong and spill all the dirty water on yourself. I have to flush the toilet.
12, how many times have I told you, go to bed early at night and don't go out, but you just won't listen. No, I dreamed again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up!
13, to be a white-collar worker, you have to prepare more white shirts. For one thing, occupation, and for another, it's easy to expose the color of the bra!
14. Only those who know us can stay in my heart for a long time, and those who know you can hurt you invisibly.
15, my life creed is: live like a grandson for decades until you become a grandfather and then die.
16, there is a slag in a pile of Xueba, which feels like a bottle of Liushen mixed in a pile of famous brand perfume.
17, I passed you and you didn't know it was me because I turned my head away.
18, the bus sat in the middle of the last row, there was no obstacle in front, and there was an emergency stop. It rushed directly to the driver from the last one, accompanied by the screams of killing pigs all the way.
19, the biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.
20. What is the biggest difference between Jesus and Sakyamuni? They have big curly hair and small curly hair.
2 1 I think there has always been a lovely primary school bully in my body. I have to brush questions to feed him, but recently I found that he was starved to death.
22. Someone said I was handsome today, and I smiled. As a result, they said I was more handsome when I smiled. I shouted at the sky: me! Don't! Handsome! A flash of lightning fell from the sky, and God said, You are lying!
When you see me staring at you from a distance, don't think that I am interested in you. I really can't see who you are.
24. Don't grab things from me. Although I can't be spoiled, I can wrestle.
I have a dream that I am as thin as a shadow. Do all chubby girls have this ideal?
Teacher, there are no beautiful women in our class. How can I have the motivation to come to school?
27. You told me to roll, I rolled, and you told me to come back. Sorry, I rolled away!
28. When I heard the teacher say that the fine would start again, I knew that his salary had been spent.
29. I know there is a person in my heart who will always be there no matter how the years change.
30. I planted girlfriends in spring and harvested a bunch of men in autumn.
3 1, when someone pretends to be cool, my sister will bow her head, not because I am shy, but because I am looking for bricks!
32. The high price attracted countless heroes to compete. With too little savings, my girlfriend turned to money. No car, no house, happy days.
33. When you stay in nature for a long time, staying in the depths will naturally sprout. When you sprout to the limit, you can easily get married and marry someone else to continue your residence.
34. I want to pick up girls wholeheartedly. If everyone pulls out a pubic hair as a souvenir, I guess I can knit a sweater!
After living for more than 20 years, I have done nothing for my country and people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches.
36. I try to lose weight every day except during meals. You still say I have no perseverance?
37. There are two kinds of creatures in the world who can lie on the glass, one is the gecko, and the other is the class teacher.
38. What you say when you are in love is called love talk. After breaking up, treat it as a joke.
Regarding my parents' suspicion of puppy love, I just want to say that you overestimate my ability.
40. All the questions in the world can be answered with none of your business and none of my business, and suddenly I feel so busy.
4 1, men are like the food in the campus canteen: it's not delicious, but it's gone if you go late.
42. There are always endless scenery, endless roads, invisible people and invisible dreams.
43. My life has two aspects: A and B, and so does yours. ..
44. Give you three choices: First, be my wife. Second, be my woman. Third, be my wife. choose
45. If you shed tears, my face will always be wet; If you are sad, it is always my heart that cries!
46. I just slapped my wallet. Actually, it's nothing. I just hope it will swell up.
I can't stand typing. When I meet a homonym, the first thing that comes to mind is his name.
48. Once I found that I couldn't do math, I skipped it. I found that I couldn't stop the jump.
49, love is very strange, everything is the mind, and finally everything can be forgiven; As Tagore said: eyes are raining for her, but heart is holding an umbrella for her.
50. You said that onions are amazing, and they are the only fruits and vegetables that can make people cry. I don't want to deny you, but last time I was hit by durian, I cried all day.
5 1, when we have money. I want to buy two lollipops. Look, I'll eat one and I'll show you one.
52. How can I sleep when the sun is shining high in the sky? The teacher is kind and hypnotic. As long as I don't take exams, I will have many dreams.
53. The death of the emperor is called death, the death of civilians is called death, and the death of mistress is called oh yeah.
54. When men and women flirt, the most striking Chinese character is born: bump.
55. I have spread my homework on the balcony. Do it yourself during a typhoon.
I only love to lose my temper with you, because I subconsciously believe that you won't leave me. Stupidity turned out to be a kind of dependence.
Sleeping for seven hours at school is not enough, but sleeping for five hours during holidays is twice as energetic.
58. When you are young, don't despair because you have no money, because you have to know that there are still many days when you have no money.
59. Even if I won't change after many years, I will still love you as I do now!
60. Lao Wang fell into the dry well at the entrance of the village. With the enthusiastic help of the villagers, Lao Wang finally adapted to the life at the bottom of the well.
6 1, girls say that I am a good person, and love does not come to me; Girls say he is not good, scrambling to love him; Nowadays, girls are really strange, saying that he is not good is love; Do you find it strange? Should I learn badly?
62. I am really comfortable that people who don't like me can add trouble to your heart.
63. You never know how ugly you are unless you confess, and you never know how bad your character is unless you borrow money.
Whenever I find the key to success. Someone changed the lock.
65. On the day you left, I decided not to shed tears, covering my eyes against the wind and trying not to blink.
66.who do you think you are? You are the spilled water. I don't even want a basin.
67. The amount of homework assigned for holidays can always be finished in one month, but when I get to school, all I get is a teacher's understanding of how painful reading is.
68. The head teacher saw me doing my homework after class and suddenly said, I'll give you a ten.
69. It takes one day to wait for a sunrise; It takes January to wait for the full moon; It takes a year to wait for a flower to bloom; Wait all your life and love you all your life. Love you forever.
70. The two luckiest things in my life: one is that time has finally exhausted my love for you; One was the day a long time ago, when I met you.
7 1, I hate it when you say you miss me but do nothing.
72. We are good friends. I'll help you when you fall, but let me finish laughing first.
73. I want to be a soldier. Say goodbye to my parents before I get on the bus. Looking at the trembling figure of my parents in the car, I couldn't help crying. I bowed deeply to them in the car and my head was caught in the door.
74. If you don't find a new partner after breaking up, it feels like being widowed with your ex.
75. One monk carries water to drink, two monks carry water to drink, three monks have no water to drink, four monks fight the landlord, and five monks can play Fuwa.
76. The three most painful things for men: being caught by a lover to accompany his wife to buy food; Caught by his wife shopping with sympathizers; Trapped in an alley by his wife and lover at the same time.
77. In fact, when you hand in the blank paper, everyone is the first in grade. Why do we have to kill each other?
78. Some people said I was ugly, but I smiled. You've never met my friend.
79. The wife is a big tree, and the lover is a grass. Planting a big tree is good for enjoying the cool, and raising a grass for walking birds is a harmonious society and environmental protection.
80. In the Southern Song Dynasty, there was a patriotic poet named Lu You. At that time, nomads from the invasion, in the face of broken mountains and rivers, the people were miserable, and Lu You was furious. Lu You was so angry that we couldn't surf the Internet.
8 1. If something happens to you one day, please call me. I won't withhold my words or stand in your way, but I can come out handsome.
82. Women advise men: don't smoke and drink, it will hurt your health; Men advise women: don't say these words, it will hurt feelings.
83. Mirrors are installed at the school stairs to tell us that ugly people should read more!
If you are really hungry, call me and I will give you some snacks.
85. The one that warms a girl is called a warm man, and the one that warms many girls is called a hot dog.
Let's talk happily-people live like dogs, and dogs live like people.
It's sad to take a vacation and let go of all the knowledge in my head.
This fart is just and powerful. People always say that they won't look back until they hit the south wall, but they still go south after hitting the south wall and turning a corner.
As soon as Ben Shuai went out, he came to a thousand paths without footprints, a hundred mountains and not a bird.
I'm still a good guy and a bad guy.
Don't always think of yourself as the hero and heroine in idol dramas. Maybe you are just a supporting role and heroine in a dog blood drama.
Camel doesn't shed tears because it knows the preciousness of water, and girls don't shed tears because they haven't found anyone worth shedding tears.
In a public place, someone suddenly farted, and a man patted him on the shoulder and said, listen to the accent, you are not from here.
Don't mess with me, or I will let you die rhythmically.
Father: "Son, what would you say if I ate with your dirty hands?" "I should be polite and say nothing."
After seeing you, my long-lost heart is surging.
It turns out that eating pumpkins can turn into pumpkin faces.
There are people like me who don't like to wear condoms during sex!
Today, when the sun was shining, I was bitten by a dog when I went out.
Spirit is used to collapse, and personality is used to split.
I wish I could become a pig! Then you can flirt with Sister Chang 'e!
People should learn to be kind to others when they are proud, because you may need them when you are frustrated.
In the face of beauty: danger can be saved, and no danger can create danger.
God, you let summer and winter share a room, right? Give birth to this damn weather
I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to have a crush on me.
The sun was born when the day put the night in bed again.
The art of self-cultivation is actually the art of lying.
What kind of world is this? People live like dogs, and dogs live like people.
Opportunity means: go out for an inspection and have a plane ride. !
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside him knowing you can't have him.
Maybe it's just wishful thinking.
Don't think that the dog will be fine if it sneezes tomorrow, or you will definitely forget to bring your umbrella when it rains.
I am a man of principle. My principle is only three words, depending on the mood.
I stayed up late because I didn't have the courage to end the day; Stay in bed because you don't have the courage to start a new day.
Mess with me again and kick you to death; If you don't believe me, let's try.
Everyone says I'm stupid, but I'm actually smart.
Cherry Maruko said: As long as you are alive, something good will happen.