Su Southeast Asia, a poet and writer in Song Dynasty, once wandered around Moganshan when he was an official in Hangzhou. Tired on the way, I went in to rest when I saw a temple.

Seeing the people dressed simply, the host said coldly, "Sit down!" Then he shouted to the boy in the street, "Tea! "

In the conversation with the visitors, Lao Dao found that the newcomers are very talented, not ordinary scholars. I will show the visitors to the main hall and say politely, "Please sit down!" He said to the Taoist boy, "Here's to tea!"

The old man talked with the visitors in detail and his attitude was much more respectful. The more he talks about old people, the more he feels that visitors are not idle, not only knowledgeable, but also smart. I can't help asking the names of tourists. Only then did I know that this visitor was actually the famous Su Dongpo. Lianlian stood up and bowed, apologizing again and again: "Being original as blind as a bat, it's rude! Disrespectful! " Xin invited Su Dongpo into the living room. Say respectfully, "Please sit down!" He said to the Taoist priest, "To the fragrant tea!"

When Su Shi said goodbye, he asked Mo Bao for a souvenir. Su Dongpo wrote a pair of couplets: the first part: please sit down, please sit down, the second part: tea, tea, fragrant tea.

After reading it, I felt a fever in my cheeks.

Feng Yuxiang's gift

Although Feng Yuxiang was a high official, he was honest and clean, hated evil as hatred, and sometimes used humor as a weapon to lash out at girls.

One year, Wu, the leader of Beiyang Warlords, celebrated his birthday and gave a big banquet. Many trend followers competed to send him heavy gifts to congratulate him. At that time, Feng Yuxiang was in the army directly under Wu, but he didn't like what Wu did. So he sent someone to bring an altar of clear water, and the seal on the altar read: "A friendship between gentlemen is as light as water."

Wu Ming knew that Feng Yuxiang was playing tricks on him, but he was still arty and said to himself, "You will be blessed if you know me."

After the victory of the first Northern Expedition, Feng Yuxiang became the Minister of Military and Political Affairs. Nanjing was the capital of Kuomintang at that time. Mayor Liu Jiwen got married and held a grand wedding. The wedding was grand, with guests like clouds and gifts like clouds. However, at that time, the country was poor, wars were frequent, and people were living in pain. However, the mayor used the opportunity of marriage to make a lot of money. Feng Yuxiang is disgusted. So he sent someone to send Liu Jiwen a gift-a wooden box wrapped in red cloth. Liu Jiwen was eager to open the wooden box full of complaints from Nanjing residents.

The mayor of the capital, who was favored by Chiang Kai-shek, suddenly turned blue and could not step down.

Parker pen on Premier Zhou's desk

When the American government was very hostile to China, an American journalist saw an American Parker pen on his desk. He asked in a provocative tone: "Excuse me, Prime Minister, you are from China. Why do you use our American pens?"

* The Prime Minister replied in writing: "This is an anti-American trophy of a North Korean friend, and he insisted that I accept this gift from him as a souvenir. I think it makes sense, so I will take this pen away from your country. "

Hemingway's reply and signature

One day, the American writer Hemingway received a tie and a letter from an American clothing company. The letter said, "Our ties are very popular with customers. I am sending you samples for your use and hope to send them back to 2 yuan. "

Soon, the company received a reply from Hemingway with a novel. The letter said: "My novel is very popular with readers, and I attach a copy for you to feast your eyes on. The price of this book is 80 cents, 2 yuan. Please send back 80 cents, so that we are even. "

After Hemingway moved to Havana, Cuba, a rich man from new york visited him. And insisted that Hemingway sign his book as a souvenir.

Hemingway knew that the rich businessman had made a fortune through land speculation. He immediately drew a signature on the sand with his cane, then raised his head, narrowed his eyes and raised his voice and said, "Please accept it, you might as well take this land away!" "

Churchill's Humor

Churchill was a famous prime minister in British history. He is eloquent and has a good sense of humor.

On one occasion, a member of the opposition party eloquently expounded his views in parliament. Churchill listened impatiently, shook his head deliberately, and drew the attention of parliamentarians to his side. The MP who was making a speech was furious and pointed at Churchill and shouted, "I want to remind this Conservative friend that I am only stating my views now."

Qiu Yun calmly raised his head and said to the podium, "I also want to remind the speaker that I am just shaking my head now."

During World War II, Churchill visited the United States as British Prime Minister, demanding to meet with American President Roosevelt, asking the United States to participate in the anti-fascist war, and asking for material assistance to Britain. When he lived in the White House, he was waiting to arrange a meeting with Roosevelt. Churchill has the habit of taking a bath in the morning. One morning, he was lying naked with a big belly and soaked in the bathtub when Roosevelt pushed the door and came in. It is ridiculous and embarrassing for the leaders of two world-famous countries to meet on this occasion, which also contains diplomatic purposes. Churchill's trip to America achieved the expected goal.

Churchill lived to be 9 1 year old and remained humorous and optimistic before his death. With a pen on his face, he said to the people around the hospital bed, "I am ready to meet God, whether God is ready to torture me or not."

A president with a sense of humor.

Lincoln, the 16 th president of the United States, is the funniest of all American presidents.

Lincoln is ugly, but he doesn't care. He often plays with his pen. When he was running for president, he was a candidate of the party. Once he had a campaign debate with Democrat Douglas, who attacked him as a two-faced man. At this time, Lincoln calmly replied to the public: "Now please comment from the audience. If I had another face, Mr Douglas, do you think I would wear it? "

When Douglas distorted Lincoln's opposition to slave recording, Lincoln signed back and said, "This is the sophistry of literary games. I said you were here today, but you used your being there yesterday to prove that I was lying. I said you took off your hat, but you put it on again, which proved that I was lying. This is the full force of your argument, Mr. Douglas. "

After he became president, a member of parliament criticized his attitude towards the enemy: "Why do you want to be friends with them?" You should resolutely destroy them! "Lincoln kindly answered the senator," when I turned all my enemies into friends, weren't they all destroyed? "

Bernard Shaw, the master of humor

Bernard Shaw, an Irish writer, later moved to England. He created a large number of works in his life, including more than 50 plays, 5 novels and many other works. Get Nobel Prize in Literature. He is not only a genius writer, but also an excellent humorous writer.

Duncan, an American dancer in the 20th century, is beautiful and graceful. She once pursued Bernard Shaw passionately. In her letter to Bernard Shaw, she said, "If only we got married, had children, and had my beautiful appearance and your wise mind!"

Bernard Shaw wrote humorously in his reply: "If the child born looks like me, but the brain is like you. How bad that would be! "

Bernard Shaw was walking in the street once and was knocked down by a young man riding a bicycle. The young man helped him up and apologized to him. Bernard Shaw patted the dust on his body with his hand, and then said slowly to the young man, "You are really unlucky. If you kill me, you will be famous all over the world. "

Bernard Shaw is very thin. At a banquet, a rich man with a fat head and a big belly played with him: "Hello, Mr. Bernard Shaw, as soon as I saw you, I knew there was a famine in the world."

Bernard Shaw immediately replied, "As soon as I saw your husband like this, I knew the cause of hunger in the world."

Bernard Shaw is so famous that many people try to visit him. On one occasion, even King George VI of England visited him. After the greeting, the two lovers are lovers, and soon there is nothing to say. The king of England has no intention of leaving. Bernard Shaw can't give orders to the king, he just keeps looking at his pocket watch. The king of England will have to leave.

Afterwards, someone asked Bernard Shaw if he liked George VI. He said humorously, "He really made me like it when he left!"

Good paragraph: a good paragraph about "water"

On both sides of the river, even the mountains are deep blue. The mountains are often covered with white snow, but the river is as clear as jade. Traveling in such a river, looking at the water and mountains, and realizing the bravery of sailors in their work and diet, I can't help smiling often in loneliness! -Shen Congwen's "Auspicious San Ji"

A river of autumn water is still clear and blue. The autumn mountains on both sides of the strait are still welcoming people gracefully. When the Cangjiang River bends a few times, there are several clusters of reeds and several curved villages dotted there. When you are sitting in the cabin, as long as you look up, you will see the red leaves of Chinese tallow trees on the river bank and the green hills in the sky not far away. -Yu Dafu's "Smoke Shadow"

Although the current has been liberated from the mountain relative to the upstream, it is still quite fast, so it is still quite unrestrained. The river is quite vast, with large and small islands and new miscellaneous trees. Although spring and summer are green, winter becomes a sparse cold forest. The water color, except the red in the summer flood period, is thick sky blue. The sound of the beach, far and near, has been singing. -Guo Moruo's Under Mount Emei

The lake is surrounded by continuous peaks. The lake is green and crystal clear. When there is no wind, the level is like a mirror, and the shadows of white clouds and green hills are reflected on the lake, and the mountains and rivers blend together. Fish, large and small, shuttle through the water, as if swimming between mountains and white clouds, making people feel like they are in a fairyland. -Bian Bazaar's poem Mysterious Cuogao Lake

Good joke: Enjoy Dog very well.

I have a lovely white puppy. Its nose is round and black and its mouth is small. And its feathers are white and pink, but a little purple. It likes barking best.

Seeing four poor puppies, I thought that the puppies were so small that they were thrown away by their owners. What a pity! I looked at the puppies sadly and saw that they were skinny, covered in black hair, with a small black mouth and small pink claws. Their eyes haven't been opened yet, and they haven't had time to see their mother and this beautiful world.

I have a puppy at home. Its fur is black, its ears are very smart, and it also stares at a pair of big round eyes, shining. When it is hot, the puppy always lies on the big bluestone to enjoy the cool, and its mouth is always stretched out. It looks scary. It turned out to be cooling! It is obedient and brave. It squats at the door every day to watch the door for its owner. I love my dog, especially my clever dog. The gatekeeper is obedient and brave. I love my dog.

Long white hair, fat body and round eyes make up a Xiao Liu Li. Because its head and ass are as round as bowling balls, its owner calls it a "ball". Generally speaking, it looks like two balls connected by a stick. Although this little guy is fat, he is not the kind of slacker who only eats and sleeps. Early in the morning, the ball woke up the owner, and the tracker owner took it to play. The ball looks cutest when eating. Whenever he heard the whistle, he shook his body and ran home with a twist. Looks like a model catwalk. The master gave him a bowl of meat, and he ate it without looking up, and the meat residue splashed all over him. The little white dog suddenly became a "little flower dog".

Good paragraph: a good paragraph about "cats"

When night falls, Xiaohua Mall looks particularly energetic. He stared at the mouse's door with big round eyes and waited quietly. When the target appears, the kitten will pounce on it and catch it, and then have a good meal.

Grandma has a lively and lovely Xiaohua Mall, round eyes, a triangular mouth under her small nose, a beautiful eight-shaped beard on both sides of her small mouth, and two pointed ears on her round head, which looks particularly proud.

Xiaohua Mall is particularly sleepy. She always takes a nap with her eyes narrowed all day, but her ears are particularly sensitive when she sleeps. As long as there is sound, his ears will move. If someone walks in, he will suddenly stand up. Xiaohua Mall likes cleanliness and hygiene, and often licks his body with his tongue to remove dirt. Xiaohua Mall never urinates anywhere. In front of his grandmother's house, there was a small crooked tree, which became a place for Xiaohua Mall to play. It likes to climb trees and then jump down from them. Really.

There is a wild cat in my house. It has a white and brown coat. It has a small oval head. A pair of eyes, as big as if curious about everything in the world, want to see. A dirty mouth, all because of the temptation of those fish.

I can always see some cats in the village where I live. As soon as I saw them, I wanted to catch them, hug them and touch them. One night, I saw a little black cat walking slowly and wanted to kidnap it. I followed gently, but I still didn't get a chance to do it. I followed the cat to the yard of a family. The little black cat found me and whooshed into the yard. I was surprised to find that there were about a dozen kittens in the yard, big and small, with different colors. I can't help but envy the shopkeeper. They are really happy to have so many kittens!

The kitten has a round head and a pair of small pointed ears. Those big eyes are always narrowed into a crack during the day, but at night, they are like two shining gems, emitting faint blue light. Usually, kittens are always lazy, walk slowly and have no sound. However, if you catch a mouse, it moves very fast, just like lightning.

◎ The kitten has just arrived at my house, and seems a little timid. It's called "Meow". I fed it a piece of pig liver, and my mother gave it a warm bath, and it gradually became familiar with us. At this time, I carried it into the kitchen, touched its head and said to it, "Good cat, you are going to catch mice for us today. If you catch that hateful mouse, I will definitely reward you with a small fish. " The kitten wanted to understand me, licked her lips and meowed twice, as if to say, "Don't worry! I will definitely catch the mouse. "