01

In recent years, there is a saying that often appears on the Internet: "The current school education is forcing one of the parents to resign and go home." This is not about being forced back to that life. Is this the time when women should go home to take care of their husbands and raise children?

Once upon a time, I thought that after my daughter went to school, I would be free after get off work. After all, when the child was young, I had to take care of eating, drinking, and toileting. After school, I would do my homework by myself, and I would not need my mother to bathe, eat, or sleep. I started to do it, and it turned out that this was just me thinking too much!

During the parent-teacher conference the day before the start of school for our daughter’s freshman year, the school invited education experts and psychologists to give us a lecture on “Why should we keep up with the “step” of our children’s growth? 》A training. I was silently moved by the school's thoughtful gesture during the parent-teacher meeting. Before I could escape from my emotions, the principal's words brought me from heaven to earth: "Parents, please come to me before school starts." Submit a "Reflection" of no less than 500 words, what kind of pitfall is this?

When children go to school, it is the beginning of a parent’s nightmare. Parents with primary school students can easily name a few classic cases. . When I go to work every day, what I am most afraid of besides the work group is seeing the messages in the class group on WeChat: "Parents use red pens to correct and sign", "Parents please complete online safety education homework", "This month's chorus competition, parents are invited." Come and watch."

When I was a kid, I deliberately took my time eating in order to watch TV series, pretending to go to the toilet and then slowly drink water. In the end, I was no match for my mother's Tathagata palm and knocked me into the room to do it. Homework. At that time, I was thinking that I would make up for it in the future. Unexpectedly, decades later, I would still be doing homework.

02

Although we are still doing homework. We keep complaining about the school, but we must also admit that the era of raising children is different from that of our parents. We also understand clearly that family and parents are the primary factors in children's growth.

There is a very interesting phenomenon. I remember when I was in school, the naughty students generally had very good grades in sports, while the quiet kids had better grades in academic subjects. I thought this phenomenon was normal. After all. Naughty children have better physical fitness and coordination when jumping up and down. Until my daughter entered elementary school, there was a boy in the class who was often criticized by the teacher, but he always showed up with perfect scores every time the results were announced. The school organized a freestyle basketball game, and the little boy’s skills were really impressive.

Later, when chatting with my colleague, his words seemed to explain this phenomenon, “Parents nowadays are aware of this. To cultivate their children properly, they not only pay attention to knowledge, but also pay attention to physical skills. Children with good grades in school will not have any poor physical fitness. This is a virtuous circle. "

Different from the days when our parents were free-spirited, most of the excellence of children comes from the cultivation of parents and is hidden in the atmosphere of the family. If we admit that the first factor in a child's growth is the family, then as a child As a role model, we might as well regard these hardships in school as difficulties in life. The attitude we show when facing difficulties is a vivid lesson for our children.

I still remember that day when I had to rush out a plan. For clients, I went back to my room early after dinner to write a plan. My daughter came in with her math homework and said to me: "Mom, the teacher said this homework needs to be corrected by parents first!" "At that time, my head was buzzing, and I scolded the teacher a thousand times in my heart. I felt that my blood pressure had soared several degrees.

Forced smile is really the best description at this moment. I communicated with my daughter , my mother was also doing a very important homework, but she also had to complete the correction homework assigned by the teacher. Now she encountered a problem and wanted to ask her to help me find a solution. It didn’t take long for my daughter to thoughtfully tell me that she would. Check it yourself first, and then your mother won’t need to spend too much time correcting it.

In fact, no matter how many times she checks her homework, or it is all correct, I still need the same time to check it. But after that time, I found that my child learned that when encountering difficulties, the first thing she thinks of is not to retreat, but to find a way to solve it. Later, she would often share her "methods" with me, although these methods sounded childish. , but I know that the quality of not running away from trouble will be with her in the future.

03

Parents were notified to attend the class singing competition held by the school this month, and my daughter was invited to attend. He happily took the notice and asked me if I wanted to take time off for such a trivial matter. Is this a waste of my vacation? The teacher accepted that parents didn’t have to go to work, so he invited parents to attend this event every three days in a semester. It's an open day or something.

Before I could even reply, my daughter had already gotten into my heart, "Mom has to go to work and can't come, right?" "Looking at her disappointed expression, I felt very uncomfortable.

I have refused many activities in the class, especially when I thought about when we were young, except for parent-teacher meetings, we never asked parents to go to school. Running. There is no harm without comparison. With this thought, I don’t want to attend these events.

But this time my daughter did not pester me to persuade me to attend like before, but stayed silent. walked away.

At that moment, I seemed to have returned to the moment when my parents refused to tell stories with me when I was a child. I was full of disappointment and helplessness, and my body felt like an electric shock.

Yes, when we were children, we also longed to play with our parents. If we have good grades, we can get recognition from our parents, if we have unsatisfactory grades, we can get parents' understanding, and if we encounter difficulties, we can get parents' support.

When we become parents, we become closer and closer to our parents’ thinking. We always think that working for ourselves is the most important thing, and for children, these are trivial matters.

It was the thinking of my parents at that time that was deeply rooted in my heart, and it made me feel that it was natural. Don't let this kind of reincarnation happen to our next generation. Let's go back to when we were children, find our original intention, and understand the feelings of children!

04

The recent class reunion was simply a meeting to criticize teachers. Minli, a parent of a first-grade elementary school student who had just been promoted, spent this semester in order to participate in various activities held by the school. This activity was criticized by the leader, please! Fake! Pass! At! frequency! Complex!

This topic immediately aroused enthusiastic responses from everyone. Xiaoxiao is the only person in our class who has become a primary school teacher, and she has become the target of public criticism in this discussion.

In front of our old classmates, Xiaoxiao also indulgently vented her resentment that she had been holding back for a long time. Today's teachers are not easy to do. There are a lot of school assessments on students' discipline, grades, attendance, classroom environmental sanitation, class culture, and the construction of learning atmosphere. From time to time, they also ask for performances and invite parents to visit. School leaders have indicators. , how many hours of home-school interaction time must be completed.

In our opinion, the teachers think that we are idle, but the teachers are also carrying the pressure of leaders above and the complaints of parents below. This kind of middle level is indeed unflattering on both sides. .

Xiaoxiao once ambitiously joined the ranks of teachers. She once thought that a teacher’s bounden duty was to teach and educate people. She said she later found out she was wrong. Chinese education still cannot get rid of that form of education, which requires a series of activities such as parent-child activities and homework to be teachers’ assessment indicators. Some teachers hope to spend more time studying and educating children, but often these indicators are The teacher is exhausted.

After that complaint meeting, I found that I lacked empathy for the teacher. I didn’t try to understand the teacher’s situation first, and I only knew how to blame the teacher for being inconsiderate. Then who am I to teach my children to feel from other people’s perspectives?

I believe that most teachers really want to teach students well and truly care about their students. Since I can't change the social environment in which I live, let's try to communicate with the teacher.

Taking advantage of the school's singing competition, my class teacher and I proposed that our class should take turns to participate in the school's activities. Only about 10 parents are invited to participate in each activity. In one semester, at least every parent will participate. Parents of every student can attend once.

After knowing this proposal, the teachers and parents agreed very much. The teachers were able to complete the tasks assigned by the school, and the parents did not frequently ask for leave to attend.

Don’t think that what the teacher assigns are all imperial edicts, and don’t think that the teacher is always superior. Teachers are also ordinary people, and they also have their tasks, work and assessments. I believe that if we communicate with teachers and make suggestions from the perspective of teachers, we can achieve a balance between school and family.

05

We often pay attention to the balance between work and family, but after we become parents, we rarely pay attention to how to achieve a balance with school and teachers. We prefer to group together and complain. Not really thinking of ways to balance this state.

Regarding the situation where the school is tormenting parents, it is of course best to be able to communicate and solve the problem, but in most cases, it is impossible to achieve common sense. There is a saying that goes well, "You can't control the weather, but you can change your mood!"

Being a parent now requires not only courage, but also tolerance and patience, but even more important is wisdom.

Let us turn the frustrations into parent-child education and parent-child time again and again!