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Funny clips with pictures in WeChat Moments

There is never a shortage of jokes in our lives, especially in the circle of friends. There are countless, and it will be even more funny if they are accompanied by pictures. Here are the funny clips with pictures in the WeChat circle of friends that I have carefully compiled for you. Hope it helps you!

Selected jokes from WeChat Moments

1. The turtle was injured and asked the snail to buy medicine. Two hours later, the snail has not come back yet. The turtle became anxious and cursed: "If you don't fucking come back, I'll die!" At this time, a snail's voice came from outside the door: "Don't you ever fucking say I'm not going to come back!"

2. Dad After putting his son to bed, he returned to his bedroom to get ready for bed. "Dad!" the son shouted. "What's the matter?" "I'm thirsty, can you get me a glass of water?" "Didn't you drink just now? Go to bed, I've turned off the light!" Five minutes later? "Dad! I'm thirsty. Can't you get me a cup?" "Didn't I just say that! You ask me to beat you again!" Another five minutes passed? "Dad!" "What's the matter?" "When you came over to beat me. Be sure to bring a glass of water!"

3. When he was in school, one day Mr. A was in the dormitory preparing to change his pants. He had just taken off his belt, and unexpectedly several girls came in. He had no choice but to hold up his pants. Came to the dormitory next door. Just as he was unbuttoning and about to take off his clothes, several more girls came in unexpectedly. I had no choice but to hold up my pants and go to the door of the next dormitory. Because he was holding up his pants with both hands and was in a hurry, he had no choice but to kick open the dormitory door and shout at the same time: "Is there a woman in there? Is there a woman?" He saw a lot of girls sitting in the room, looking at him in horror. ?-

4. An old man was walking slowly along the street and saw a child standing on tiptoe trying to ring a doorbell, but he still missed the mark. So the old man walked over and said kindly: "Kid, let me ring it for you." With that, the old man rang the doorbell and didn't let go until he was sure that the people inside could hear it. At this time, the child said eagerly to the old man: "Let's run away quickly, quickly!"

5. A girl was very ugly and couldn't get married, so she hoped to be abducted and trafficked. My dream finally came true, but I couldn’t sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: "Let's go, I don't want the car!"

6. Robber: "If you are robbing, get down here!" When he looked at it, He saw a lady lying down and yelled: "Be civilized, I only rob money but not sex!"

7. The ugly man presented ninety-nine roses to the beautiful woman. A female colleague said, "Marry me! I love you!" Female: "Forget it! I don't feel anything." Male: "Please tell me that's not good, and I'll change it." Female: "What do you like about me? One point! I'll change it."

8. A brother was constipated and couldn't relieve himself in the toilet for a long time. When he was trying his best, he saw a brother rush into the toilet like a storm and entered the toilet next to him. As soon as we entered the location, there was a really violent storm. The brother said to the brother enviously: "Brother, I envy you so much." The brother said: "Why are you envious? I haven't taken off my pants yet!"

< p> 9. A puppy climbed up on your dining table and crawled towards a roasted chicken. You said angrily: "Whatever you dare to do to that roasted chicken, I dare to do to you!" As a result, the puppy licked it. A slap on the chicken's butt will make you faint, and the puppy happily said: "Young man, let's see who is ruthless."

10. The sleep talk meeting in a boy's dormitory lasted until three o'clock in the morning. Suddenly he wanted to discuss a problem and "met a Beautiful girl, what should I say first?" A certain gentleman woke up from his dream and said: "Stop talking, let's go to sleep!"

Funny clips with pictures in WeChat Moments

1. A brother went to the toilet and accidentally entered the women's toilet. After entering, he found that there was no urinal, which felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one in the toilet. He walked out as if nothing had happened. When I was opening the door, I met a girl coming in. The girl looked at him, blushed, lowered her head, turned around and went to the men's room?

2. The hunter saw a bird in the sky. , fired three shots and missed, but the bird still fell down. It turned out that the bird saw that the bullet missed, so he patted his chest and said: "I'm scared to death, I'm scared to death!"

3. A man was passing through a cemetery at night and saw a fire and thought it was a will-o'-the-wisp. Then he threw a brick, and the fire moved to another grave. The man threw another brick, and then he heard: "Damn it! I can't even poop. I got two bricks in the same time as smoking."

4 .A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man walking toward her with his arms open, making a hug, and then stepped forward and kicked him. The man fell to the ground and cried loudly, saying: "It's already the third piece of glass. Who did I offend? Is it so difficult to bring a piece of glass home?"

5. A novice went to collect loan sharks. He took out the IOU and said with a smile: "It clearly says in black and white that you owe me 1 million! Do you want to default on the debt?" The person said that there was indeed not that much money, so he threatened: "Humph! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't pay the money tomorrow, your house will look like it.

"He took out his lighter and burned the IOU?

6. An old farmer was hoeing in the field. A crow flew over and dropped some shit on the old farmer's face. The old farmer raised his head and cursed: "CAO your mother! You don't know how to wear underpants when you go out!" Crow said: "CAO! You wear underpants when you shit!"

7. Robber: "Tell me the password to the safe quickly, don't tell me Kill you!" Female staff: "I won't say anything even if you kill me! I won't say anything if you abuse me!" The robber looked her up and down and said, "You have a beautiful idea!"

8. Yes One day, the animals smelled a very bad smell in front of the Guan Gong Temple. The snake said: "I am so young and would not fart so smelly. It must be a cow." The cow said: "I am a grass eater, so I will not fart so smelly." The pig said: "People who fart will definitely blush." Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out, beat the pig away, and said, "I have told you so many times that my blush is natural." ”

9. Ge You invited a friend to dinner and went to the toilet on the way. When he came back, his pants were wet.

Friend: “Why are your pants wet?” Ge You : “It’s been like this a lot since I became famous. "

Friend: "Does this happen often?"

Ge You: "No! Often the person next to him is peeing and suddenly turns around and shouts: 'Yo! Isn't this Ge You? !?"

10. A woman was urinating in the toilet. A drunk man accidentally entered after drinking. Hearing the sound of peeing, he quickly said: "Stop it, I really don't drink anymore!" The woman I was so frightened that I didn’t dare to urinate anymore, so I couldn’t hold it in and farted. The drunkard said: “KAO! Who the hell opened another bottle!”

Funny jokes in WeChat Moments

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1. One time I suddenly wanted to go swimming and bought a pair of cheap swimming trunks in the supermarket because there was no other color but red. Unexpectedly, the swimming trunks faded while I was soaking in the pool. At that time, traces of red seeped out from my lower body, rippling in the water. An uncle swam past me, looked at the red "bloody water" under my body, and then looked at my naked upper body. For a moment, His expression is very contradictory?

2. Let’s talk about my childhood! Everyone knows about the big 28 bicycles with beams! When I was four or five years old, I would sit directly on my father’s bicycle. If you sit sideways on the beam, your feet will be numb after a long time, which is very uncomfortable! Finally, I went to my grandma’s house one time, and I suggested sitting in the back seat, because that way my feet would not be numb! I agreed! Haha, let’s set off!! Finally, we arrived at the destination. What happened? My dad forgot about me, took his legs off from behind, and then swept me off?

3. I heard from a friend that he had a lower EQ in college. The boy finally met a girl he liked, and they just started dating.

Once the girl was sick, and the boy went with her to the infirmary for a drip.

Ten minutes passed. Twenty minutes passed, but there was no movement.

The boy wanted to break the silence, so he asked: "Is it cold?"

"Cold"

"Cold." Shall I cover you?"

The girl blushed and whispered "Okay".

Then the boy stood up and covered the drip bottle with his hand.

< p> 4. When I was young, I always bullied my sister because of how old I was. One night, my father came over to cover us with quilts, and he was shocked to find my three-year-old sister sitting upright in the dark and looking at me sleeping!

< p> "Why aren't you sleeping yet?" Dad asked.

My sister hurriedly said: "Shh! Keep your voice down, and I'll beat her when she falls asleep!"

5 .I have a classmate who is a __ disciple, and he feels a little obsessed.

The school has morning exercises, and he feels that the teacher must get up early to do them, otherwise it is unfair.

So. I ran directly to the principal to negotiate.

The principal was stunned for a moment and said, "Where did you come from?"

My classmate said lovingly: "I was sent by God to save you. . ”

Principal: ?※%()¥?※%

6. This person is prone to hearing loss when he gets older. I remember when I was a child, at my grandma’s house, one morning my grandpa prepared I went fishing. As soon as I left the house, I bumped into the old man next door. The old man said to my grandpa, "Go fishing!" My grandpa said, "No! I'm going fishing." "Then the old man said: "Oh, I thought you were going fishing?" Am I petrified?

7. I didn't pay attention while washing the dishes and dropped the bowl on the floor. It's okay, okay, it's just... A corner fell off and there was a small gap.

Then I continued to wash the dishes. I didn’t pay attention and scratched the gap.

I thought: It’s really there. Is it so fast? It can break my hand. Then I tried it with my left hand and it broke.

I thought: It’s really fast. Wouldn’t it be terrible if I use this bowl to eat? NC, try it with your mouth? My lips are also broken?

8. There was a couple on the bus. The woman allowed a pervert to touch her, but the boyfriend showed no expression when he arrived at the bus station and pulled the pervert out of the car. , beat him up skillfully and then walked away with his girlfriend. A website voted to analyze the reason: "Is this guy waiting for his skills to cool down?"

9. There is a bun near the subway station. Shop, business is very good, there are queues every day, and there is a train ticket sales point next to it.

I was queuing up to buy steamed buns today. When I was about to get there, I heard two men behind me say: "Hun, it turns out this is a steamed bun shop. Where is the one selling train tickets? Ah, over there!" ”

10. I just sent a drunk guy home, and along the way he asked me to get a massage. When it was delivered to the door of his house, his wife opened it. My friend looked him up and down and said to me: "This? This? This lady looks like my wife, haha." I saw her wife's face twitching, and it was inconvenient to see me there. attack. Help him into the living room with me. He said he needed to go to the toilet, so he went in alone. As soon as he saw his wife, he answered the phone and slammed the door angrily and left. Just as I was wondering, this guy came out of the toilet and said to me: "I just called my wife and told her that she was working overtime at the company and wouldn't be coming back."

11. Once I went to a dungeon to brush up against the Warriors. ?Half an hour passed, and suddenly a message came out on the loudspeaker that almost shocked me to death: Students of Zhejiang XX Mine Affiliated Middle School, the principal is here, run quickly?

12. Buy a pair of gloves, the boss charges 35 , I said I wanted 30, but the boss refused and insisted on 35. After talking for a few times and refusing to give in, I thought about it and let it go. I gave him 50, and he quickly found me for 35?

13. In high school, our toilet had a door with a spring that could return itself, but it could only be opened inward, not outward.

Many people have a habit of kicking the toilet door open.

Most people kick at about knee height. I have a classmate who has practiced martial arts. Probably to show off, or to maintain his flexibility, he always raises his feet very high and kicks at about chest height. .

One evening, this person went to WC, walked to the door, and without thinking, he kicked it.

Our teaching director just finished his convenience, opened the door and walked out.

So our dean was kicked hard by my classmate and kicked back to the toilet?

14. I took my wife for a prenatal check-up in the morning, and after the blood was drawn:

Nurse: “Come and get the checklist on the 32nd.”

Wife: “January 32nd or February 32nd.

"

Me (weakly): "February 1st"

Nurse (sweat): "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

15 .I was on a plane a few days ago. When I got on the plane, I found a beautiful woman sitting next to me. According to the principle of striking up a conversation, I blurted out and asked: "Where are you getting off?"

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