The signature you designed is basically okay. But as a true artistic signature, there are two principles that must be followed.

First, it must comply with calligraphy standards and have a calligraphic charm when written.

The second is that it must have artistic aesthetics, that is, it must look good when written.

Third, it must be powerful, coherent and artistic as a whole.

After achieving these three points, the artistic signature design will take shape. I just wrote two examples for reference only. As shown in the picture;