1, this sentence comes from the sketch of CCTV Spring Festival Evening in 2007-"Planning". The sketch was written by Zhao Benshan and Song Dandan.

And the Cow tells a story of the rooster lay eggs, which is a classic sketch by Mr. Zhao Benshan.

2. Sketch "Planning" lines

Song Dandan: Daughter-in-law, we have a guest, just two hard dishes. Where will you broadcast it after you record it here?

Cattle: It's broadcast on all local radio stations.

Song Dandan: The local channel is good. Don't put it on CCTV. Not reliable. (Laughter). I came back from CCTV last year, and that person,

Reciting words all the way, why spend money (laughs).

Cow: Aunt will take a picture of you.

Song Dandan: I won't take a photo with him.

Cattle: Let me take a photo with you.

Song Dandan: Let's take a picture together, or people will think we are divorced again.

Song Dandan: Old man, old black (Zhao Benshan comes out from the right side of the stage and applauds warmly).

Cattle: Hello, audience friends. Now standing behind us are two famous people, Baiyun Black Soil, who were among them not long ago.

A great miracle happened at home. Their rooster really laid eggs.

(Zhao Benshan runs, Song Dandan follows)

Zhao Benshan: You old woman's mouth is like a cotton trousers waist!

Song Dandan: What's the matter?

Zhao Benshan: So loose!

Zhao Benshan: the rooster lay eggs happened in our house. That doesn't mean telling people I'm pregnant. (Laughter).

Song Dandan: I counted one, two. ...

Zhao Benshan: You've been counting one, two, three all your life.

Song Dandan: I said from the beginning that you should cooperate.

Cattle: Come on, let's start recording.

Zhao Benshan: Last time I published a book, I still owed someone 20,000 yuan.

Scalper: (paying) This is the prepaid labor fee.

Song Dandan: If you want to know more, please log on to Baiyun Piaodian blog site com.

Niuqun: Why did Aunt start a blog?

Song Dandan: Now celebrities publish books.

Cow: Did Aunt the rooster lay eggs have any signs before?

Zhao Benshan: No sign.

Song Dandan: There are signs, there are signs, how can there be no signs? To say that chickens do have signs before laying eggs, and the signs are obvious.

Obviously, the most important thing is the change of facial expression making.

Zhao Benshan: The chicken laughed first. (Laughter).

Cattle: (Laughter) Please describe in detail what happened before the chicken laid eggs.

Zhao Benshan: There were no signs at that time, which was impossible-at that time, this chicken was particularly contradictory, a rooster,

I can't believe it wants to lay eggs, not its job. It wants to do this. What is the rooster thinking? What does the duck think? What does the goose think? Make good use of it

What do you think of this little hen? What do people call a rooster when it hatches a chick? Call dad, call mom, or call aunt, call big.

Aunt? I can't lay eggs, but I'm scared, so ...

Song Dandan: It has strengthened its faith and laid its own eggs. Let others talk about it.

Niu: Uncle and aunt, where did it lay its eggs?

Song Dandan: I'm asking you, where did it go?

Zhao Benshan: He was under a lot of pressure. Sorry, he just strolled to the henhouse, but he couldn't. return

Not even in front of the duck cage. Then I couldn't hold it any longer, so I found a kennel and laid eggs.

Bull: Dog kennel? How did you find out?

Song Dandan: It was discovered by paparazzi. In the past, the chicken aisle stood tall and majestic; Since I gave birth to a male egg, let's go.

The road has changed, and it has become like this (starting to imitate the rooster aisle). Chicken feet can still scratch hard, which I didn't understand at first.

Bai, I studied for a long time before I recovered. I'm practicing signing.

Cow: Uncle and aunt, where are the eggs laid by the rooster?

Zhao Benshan: Yes.

Niu: Are there any side effects?

Zhao Benshan: Yes, it tastes just like ordinary food.

Song Dandan: Nonsense. Although it can't be said that it can cure all diseases, the effect is different. Many elderly people suffer from sequelae of cerebral hemorrhage.

My wife got sequelae of cerebral hemorrhage last year. Before he ate men's eggs, the aisle was like this (pull

With Zhao Benshan's performance, Zhao Zhi stared), after eating, that guy, look again, it becomes like this (Zhao Ben

The mountain fell to the ground).

Niu: What's the matter? What is this?

Song Dandan: No, no. Turn this paragraph upside down. (Urging Zhao Benshan to wait on him)

Cow: We also want to ask the aunt to be an image spokesperson for the male egg.

Song Dandan: That's no problem.

Cattle: Then let's sign a contract. This 20 thousand yuan is the labor fee. If you default, you will have to go to double indemnity.

Song Dandan: Oh, no problem. Ten times the compensation will do.

Cattle: This is an endorsement. Please bring the chicken here.

Song Dandan (watching carefully): Gee, this guy is so talented, just two sentences, quite concise. The rooster that lays eggs,

Fighter in the rooster! Oh.-yeah.

Zhao Benshan came on stage and told Song Dandan that the chicken was gone.

Song Dandan: Where is it?

Zhao Benshan: Pointing to the dish basin on the table, my wife stewed it. (Song fainted at that time)

Zhao Benshan: Honey, what's the matter with you?

Song Dandan: That's it! Our family is starving now, 40 thousand!

Zhao Benshan: Honey, Xiaoyun, baby, stop crying! I am here. What's going on here?

Niu: Auntie, what's the matter?

Zhao Benshan: The chicken is gone!

Cow: Uncle, don't be such a joke. I just signed all the contracts with my aunt, and the endorsement fee is 20 thousand. Once I sign it, it will be all right.

The contract will take effect soon. If you can't get the chicken, you will have to pay 40,000 yuan.

(Zhao is silly, Song Dandan continues to cry)

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing? What about crowing?

Niu: Then tell me where the chicken is.

Zhao Benshan: It's a nap.

Niu: Still taking a nap?

Zhao Benshan: This chicken has been jet lagged since it became famous. How much can this chicken be worth?

Cow: Uncle, to tell you the truth, this chicken was originally worthless, but after my hype, it will be much more valuable after being fried.

Money. Frying, boiling and stewing are all valuable!

Zhao Benshan: You mean whether you are alive or dead, it is valuable?

Niu: That's right.

Song Dandan: Gee, old man, you are so talented.

Zhao Benshan: For example, if this famous chicken dies, can this meat be valuable?

Niu: Right.

Zhao Benshan: How much is the meat worth?

Niu: Let's talk about this together. You have no right to eat until you get two thousand.

Zhao Benshan: What about the chicken heart?

Bull: Four thousand.

Zhao Benshan: Chicken liver?

Niu: Six thousand.

Zhao Benshan: Chicken kidney?

Niu: Eight thousand.

Zhao Benshan: Yes, that's enough. You can't hold it, but you can take it. You can also get this 20 thousand yuan back

All right. You can eat here, just as I treated you to a big meal of 20 thousand yuan.

Song Dandan: Honey, you are so talented!

(End)