If there is an afterlife, I will be a quilt, either lying on the bed or basking in the sun! Here are the funny self-deprecating quotes I prepared for WeChat, come and take a look.

1. I have never told you my true identity. In fact, I am Snow White.

2. It's annoying to be beautiful. If I were a boy, I would have married myself long ago.

3. I finally understand why I wear a mask. It’s not because of germs but because I’m afraid of meeting people with bad breath.

4． God! If there is no way to make me thin, let my friends become fat!

5. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.

6. If there is an afterlife, I will be a quilt, either lying on the bed or basking in the sun!

7. Do you love me?" "Yes!" "Then sell the house and buy some cakes to eat."

8. It doesn't matter if you fail, it just paves the way for success.

9. Because it is said that the early bird eats the bug, so I decided not to get up early in the future.

10. A woman’s small breasts are not called flat chests, they are called gorgeous parallel lines, do you know? Got it.

11. This razor is so shocking that my hands are numb even after shaving.

12. Everyone was very sexy when they were young and didn’t want to wear underpants.

13. Things used by celebrities are called cultural relics, and things used by ordinary people are called waste.

14. I told my friend that I wanted to fart, and my friend said: Hold it back and burp.

15. I want to be a bad girl in mind and a good girl in life.

16. Don’t be hot and cold all the time, otherwise I’m afraid of catching a cold.

17. You look good, but I think you look better when you put on a mask

18. The liar is the most sincere person in the world, but he is. To lie to you.

19. You are not a fool, but why do you pretend to be an idiot? 20. The most unbearable thing for me now is breaking up with the quilt in the morning.

21. The older people get, the more distant they become.

22. It is wrong to say that one mountain cannot accommodate two tigers. Yes, unless there is one male and one female.

23. As a human being, you should eat well, sleep well and drink well. 24. There are many people who hate me. My friend

25. If my friend can sell it, I can probably make a small fortune.

26. The big belly is not scary, but the scary thing is that there is no real material in it.

27. Success in life is not about getting a good deck of cards, but how to play the bad cards well.

28. Knowledge is invisible but very important. Important.

29. If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t do it; if someone offends me, I’ll be polite; if someone offends me again, I’ll give it a shot; if someone offends me, I’ll cut it off.

30. I allow you to enter my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in it.

31. It is easy to hide from others, but it is difficult to prevent them from being undercover. > 32. Even if God does not entrust me with a great responsibility, it will still strain my mind and my muscles.

33. I will not leave until I know that I am ugly.

34. Red beans don’t grow in southern China, they grow on my face, I really miss you!

35. After studying for more than ten years, I think it’s easier to get along in kindergarten!

36. My advantage is: I am handsome; but my disadvantage is: I am not obvious.

37. I was also an infatuated person, but it rained... and I drowned.

38. Journey to the West tells us: All monsters with a backing were picked up, and all monsters without a backing were beaten to death with a stick.

39. I curse you to spend your whole life buying instant noodles without seasoning packets.

40. A small tree will not become useful if it is not cultivated, and a child will not become useful if it is not cultivated.

41. Being single is not difficult, the hard part is dealing with those people who are trying every possible means to get you to end being single.

42. What is happiness? Happiness is when you eat fish, I eat meat, and watch others chew bones.

43. Life is like a dandelion, try to blow it as little as possible.

44. Your looks are very refreshing.

45. I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people, one is extremely beautiful and the other is like you.

46. No matter how perfect her figure is, in the eyes of people who don't love her, it is still a source of ridicule.

47. A big woman cannot be without power for a day, and a little woman cannot be without money for a day!

48. My biggest shortcoming is lack of money...

49. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is not right, it will be useless no matter how hard you try.

50. Youth is dedicated to the house, middle age is dedicated to the children.

51. When a woman pursues a man, there is a veil between them. Men chase women, and mothers are separated from each other.

52. When will the bright moon appear? Look up and see for yourself.

53. When we reached the top of the mountain, we realized that there was only a few steps between the wrong road and the right road.

54． Optimists see opportunities in disasters, pessimists see disasters in opportunities.

55. Being angry is punishing yourself for the mistakes of others.

56. I have no money, no power, and if I don’t treat you better, can you follow me?

57. I would rather fight with someone who understands than say a word to SB!

58. Whether you are stupid or not depends on whether you can pretend to be stupid.

59. It’s not that I don’t smile, my fans fall off when I smile!

60. No matter how difficult or painful it is, just treat yourself as a 250-year-old. No matter how difficult or dangerous it is, just treat yourself as a two-skinned person.

61. My phone number is, everyone is welcome to call.

62. A key fell into a manure pit and was dyed yellow. People in the world called him "Dong Xi"...

63. Don't tell jokes at the beach, it will cause "sea laughter".

64． All the good men have gone to be monks, and all the good women have gone to be nuns, so I say: Master, just follow my old monks.

65． What you call a public place is just a toilet in my eyes.

66． In fact, I'm not obscene, I'm just not obvious.

67. The world belongs to us and the children, but ultimately it belongs to the grandchildren!

68. Don't try to teach a pig to sing, as it will not only produce no results but also make the pig unhappy!

69. I really want to sleep a lot, play a lot, eat a lot, laugh a lot, and cry a lot.

70. Suddenly looking back, the man next to me was standing at the top of the stairs holding soy milk.

71. You have to believe, believe that we will be like the fairy tale, where frogs and dinosaurs are the ending.

72. For a true XX master, every part of his body is a weapon, and every part of his body is a venue.

73. The so-called online dating is a legendary behavior that can take someone's virginity thousands of miles away.

74. Nothing is impossible in this world, just like Li Yuchun can be a woman and Liu Zhu can be a man.

75. Beauty and disaster are originally words of parallelism. Beauty refers to women and disaster refers to men. Beauty and disaster actually means women and men.

76. Women are actually an extremely dangerous animal. Her beauty is more of a warning color than a protective one.

77． The reason why flowers are stuck in cow dung is because cow dung is very nutritious.

78. The worst thing in the world is: there is no more radiation and too much salt!

79. One day you die, I will burn a seat in Yihongyuan as a gift for you.

80. It's noon on the day of hoeing, and nothing is reliable. If you have nothing to do in your spare time, it is better to play Landlord.

81. Looking back, that man is already the child's father.

82. Growing old together is not a matter of dyeing your hair or knocking out a few teeth.

83. If you don't read the book during the exam, you are like a pig. If you cheat, don't panic. If you catch it, just pretend.

84. In this world, the streets are full of Liu Yiyang’s mother and Tong Jiaqian’s mother.

85. Everyone else was pretending to be serious, so I had to pretend not to be serious.

86． Smoking is an art of life; looking for Smoking is an attitude towards life.

87. The highest state of work is to watch others go to work and receive other people's wages.

88. There is only one Liu Yiyang in the world, but it is a pity that he is on TV.

89． How long have the two been embracing each other? The two were watching the fun.

90. Believe it or not, I slapped you against the wall and you couldn’t even buckle it off!

91. When I see people pretending to be B, I always lower my head. It's not that I'm low-key, but that I'm looking for bricks.

92． Look into my eyes and you will see perseverance and sincerity in addition to eye drops.

93. I'm not a concave and convex man, I don't have the courageous energy he does.

94. Staying up late is because you don’t have the courage to end the day; staying in bed is because you don’t have the courage to start the day.

95. Poor Nike, rich Adidas, gangster wearing Armani.

96. I smoke because it hurts my lungs, not my heart.

97． Just forget about scolding you, but you have to wait until I hit you to realize that I am both civil and military.

98. You think of others too complicatedly because you are not simple either.

99． I don’t curse because I have strong hands-on skills.