How to make love? There are always many stages of change in interpersonal communication. What must be done? Let's look back and see ourselves.
Meet for the first time, break the deadlock
Besides dressing appropriately and talking appropriately, how can we make a good impression and become a likable person when we meet for the first time?
1. Start your personal brand by introducing yourself.
When it comes to self-introduction, most people may talk about hobbies, horoscope blood type, family education, etc., but if it is in a business situation, the other party may not be interested in hearing you talk about your achievements in life in detail. What is a good business self-introduction? Qiu Tianyuan, former chief of staff of Taiwan Province Epson, believes that, first, the time should not be too long, usually not more than 1 minute; Secondly, we should achieve three goals: let others remember themselves, let others remember their own expertise, and remind others of your expertise, so as to find you.
A person is a brand. If you can't make the other person remember your name on important occasions, just like a product that can't impress customers, you can hardly expect to "sell" yourself. Qiu Tianyuan suggested that you can choose a loud English name for yourself, or add adjectives to your Chinese name, which is easier to remember.
Secondly, simply show your expertise, and if necessary in the future, the other party will be happy to help; Finally, increase your "accessibility", in addition to contact information, you can also leave a blog address and update the news at any time. Maybe you will find like-minded friends while expressing your feelings.
2. Sincere attitude and attentive eyes
When talking with people, apart from distraction, "eyes" is the most important way to convey concentration and sincerity. Qiu Tianyuan believes that the best eye contact point is the other person's eyebrows. If the eyes follow each other's eyes, it is easy to feel oppressive, staring at the mouth and nose, and because the angle of view is too low, it is easy to give people a feeling of lack of confidence and timidity.
3. Make good use of business card management
Avoid remembering who the other person is when you meet next time, but make good use of the business card as a good helper for quick memory. When TV anchor Lo Jui-cheng was still working as an online reporter, there were at least 1 0 people he knew in1day. After meeting, he will jot down each other's appearance, personality and educational background on the business card. Even if they happen to meet in the street a few months later, it is easy to call each other's names. If you meet a friend who is particularly congenial, you can even ask MSN and other basic information that is not printed on your business card but can increase your contact opportunities. After a period of time, the business card will be scanned and stored in the computer to avoid the loss of data in the "personal passbook".
Increase the depth of dialogue
Being remembered by others brings the pleasure of being respected. Remember each other when you meet for the first time. The only way to make them remember is to increase the time and depth of interaction. Lo Jui-cheng once met a general manager who could name all the employees in the company. When the CEO meets everyone, in addition to their names, he must spend a few more minutes to understand each other's education and background, deepen his impression and convey his concern. Sometimes people with higher status are willing to deal with interpersonal relationships in person, which will increase their goodwill; In some business situations, if you know who you are going to meet in advance, you might as well do some homework first, understand each other's preferences and start a dialogue with consideration.
Feelings are getting deeper and warmer.
Colleagues and customers who have had contacts should go further and become true friends. Their goodwill and trust are very important. Chen Yumin, head of Third Thinking Company in Hong Kong, said that from a psychological point of view, you will like a person, and usually when you get along with him, you will feel better about yourself. In this way, "pleasing" can adopt the following small methods:
1. Discover the advantages
Appreciate each other, so don't be stingy with your exports. "Sincere praise" is not just a polite formula of "increasing the price of everything and lowering everyone's age". You must use your observation to find out the uniqueness of each other.
2.*** Enjoy the performance
For junior employees, "sharing achievements" is not easy, but it is often the key to winning good popularity. Hu Peilan, the chairman of CITIC Construction Investment, said that even if you have the ability, you should not be sharp-edged at the beginning of the organization, know how to exercise restraint and think from the perspective of "group", and it is easy to win good friendship.
Surprise
The emotion brought by surprise may make the relationship further, especially for unfamiliar people. On Valentine's Day, Wu Yaling, the chairman of New Thinking International Consulting Company, will put roses on her desk before every female colleague goes to work. After leaving the hospital after delivery, she also remembered to write a card to thank the doctor, "let the other party know clearly what you have done for me" and "you are very important to me", and she also expressed special kindness to her close friends.
Among them, "handwritten" cards can better reflect sincerity than "computer printing". A large number of business letters can't be written one by one, at least if they are finally signed, they will feel completely different. If you are an important friend, you might as well write a card yourself!
4. Ask the demand actively
Most people like to be taken care of and treated warmly. what can I do for you? Thinking mode becomes "May I help you" in English? Can I help you (voluntarily)? ) "I believe it will be much smoother to make friends. Fu, a certified public accountant of Ernst & Young, knows managers from all walks of life because of his working relationship. Sometimes, he will go through the middle and ask the customers of Company A whether they need the products of Company B. Through communication, the topic originally limited to the business level can be turned to daily life.
Remove obstacles to position conflict
In the face of cross-departmental coordination, superiors, subordinates or competitors with different interests, there are several principles that can be firm without hurting feelings:
1. Take the initiative to inform the position and release goodwill.
When you disagree, take the initiative to tell each other your goals and what you can do to draw a blueprint for their future relationship. For example, can employees and bosses really not unite? Luo Ruizhe, managing director of Ogilvy & Mather's promotion and marketing, believes that in front of employees, actively explaining what can be done and then proving to employees that this can lead them to success. "If you really prove it, they will respect you; You start to give them more responsibilities, respect them, and gradually give them more confidence, and you can establish a relationship of mutual trust. " This virtuous circle has created a good friendship between superiors and subordinates.
2. Reduce the cost of concessions from the other side
Wu Yaling said that in the face of conflicting positions, we should first think clearly about three questions: Where can we make concessions? What must we fight for? What are the bottom lines that must be kept? Weigh your own interests clearly, and then try to reduce the possible losses of the other party. Liu Birong, a professor of political science at Soochow University, pointed out that if the other party loses face in this negotiation, you should give it to Zulizi; If the other party loses money, remember to leave him more time.
The best negotiation atmosphere should be sincerity, so that both sides dare to go to the table and dare to go to the table, without worrying that once they start to coordinate, they will be swallowed up by the lion.
3. Stand firm and have a soft figure
Try to show respect for things rather than people, but in the end, sticking to "polite persistence", being gentle and avoiding emotionalization will help the negotiation succeed.
The second time can dispel doubts.
There is no better way to get back together with friends who have had fierce conflicts than to put down your posture and show sincerity. Because it involves self-esteem, you must have considerable determination. Wu Yaling stressed that before the "second time", it is necessary to measure whether this relationship is worth repairing. If a bad relationship will cause obstacles in work and inconvenience in life, or if you really care about this person, even if you are willing to lower your profile, then you must do three things: 1. Show respect first. Let the other side disarm, and it is possible to communicate again.
2. Sincerely apologize. People are very sensitive to perfunctory or carelessness. Since we intend to "mend fences", we must sincerely apologize.
silence is golden. Face up to the harm you have caused, but don't always say which pot is not open.