Many people were beaten by their parents when they were young, so some people joked: "A childhood without being beaten by parents is not a complete childhood." I just saw a variety show released by "Liu Li Entertainment Center" The video contains a summary of many celebrities' memories of being beaten by their parents when they were young. There are Wang Yuan, Wang Junkai, Jin Han, Joker Xue, Yang Chaoyue, Xiao Zhan, Ren Jialun...

Before looking at the reasons why they were beaten, let's first take a look at how different people (children) feel about "being beaten by their parents" There are different ways to interpret the matter of "beating".

Different people have different feelings and interpretations of being spanked by their parents when they were young, and it has different impacts on their lives.

(1) "Turn around and forget" type

Some children smile playfully and don't take it seriously when they are being beaten;

Some children are beaten A few minutes after the injection, the scar was healed and the pain was forgotten.

Not only will the negative emotions caused by being beaten quickly pass by such people, but they also do not have any resentment towards their parents. They know that their parents are doing it for their own good, and they are not concerned about the "beating" incident. He took things very lightly and never felt that he was hurt physically or mentally.

(2) "Growth-reflection" type

Some people are angry and aggrieved when they are beaten, but after a few years or ten or twenty years of growing up and reflecting, they I understand what my parents’ feelings and thoughts were behind their behavior at that time. Looking back now, I don’t complain, but I feel it was full of fun, and I smile when I talk about these things.

These things do not affect their current work, life, marriage and physical and mental health.

(3) "Get stuck in it" type

Some people are not only very painful when they are beaten, but also cannot forgive their parents when they grow up.

This group of people is divided into two types:

One is: those who know the pain of being beaten, so when they become parents, they never spank their children. Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you;

The other is: while being deeply immersed in the pain of the original family, while repeating the parents’ method of educating their children, making their children become second-class a "self".

Now, let’s take a look at the memories of the celebrities being beaten by their parents when they were young in the comprehensive video released by Liuli Entertainment Hall.

(1) Wang Yuan - was beaten because his brother cried

When Wang Yuan was ten years old and his brother was six or seven years old, when he felt that he had not done anything, he My brother started crying. Then his mother came and beat him.

His parents asked him if he should be beaten?

He said: "It's time to hit, well done!"

Then, his parents laughed.

(2) Wang Junkai - He thought the birthday cake was too small

When Wang Junkai had a birthday when he was a child, he forgot about it. When he got home, he saw that his parents had bought a birthday cake, but he felt that the birthday cake was too small and he was unhappy. Then, his parents beat him up.

(3) Yang Chaoyue - doesn’t like to eat red bean rice

Yang Chaoyue’s mother likes to cook multigrain rice. Once she cooked red bean rice, Yang Chaoyue didn’t like to eat it, so she Her mother hit her with chopsticks.

Then asked her: "Do you want to eat?"

She said: "Eat."

(4) Jin Han - Buying fish without permission

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Jin Han’s father gave him ten yuan and asked him to buy steamed buns. As a result, the fishmonger in the wet market shouted: "My fish is so cheap today, three yuan a piece." Then he bought the fish. . As a result, when I got home, my father kicked me downstairs. And said:

"You will buy whatever I ask you to buy!"

"Don't give me these useless things!"

(5) Xiao Zhan - Knocking on the door floor by floor

Xiao Zhan said that he was very naughty when he was a child. Every time I went downstairs, I would knock on the neighbors’ doors one by one, knocking from upstairs. Downstairs. Then his mother found out and was beaten violently.

During the drawing class, I didn’t draw according to the teacher’s instructions and drew other things. As a result, I was beaten by the teacher at school and continued to be beaten by my parents after I got home.

(6) Ren Jialun

The reason why Ren Jialun was beaten was not shown in the video, but he shared this content in the show:

Every time his father beat him After finishing him, he would compose and sing his own rap. Although he was in his room, he deliberately sang it very loudly to his father.

The lyrics are: "My dad always beats me, my dad always beats me..."

Each of the above celebrities has their own personality characteristics. Although they have all been beaten by their parents, But it did not affect them in finding their own lives and forming their own values ??and patterns.

This is because: different people interpret the same thing in different ways, so it affects them differently.

After being beaten by their parents, most children will have the following four responses:

(1) Correct in time without resentment.

For example, Xiao Zhan.

From upstairs to downstairs, I knocked on every neighbor’s door. When my mother found out, she was beaten hard. From now on he would never do it again.

I corrected this behavior in time. At the same time, I did not have any resentment towards my mother and was willing to listen to my mother from the bottom of my heart.

(2) Correct under fear and feel dissatisfied

Although some children change their behavior after being beaten by their parents, they do not come from the heart but are forced to do so. Due to the violence of his parents, he has no ability to resist and can only submit.

Such children will be dissatisfied and even resentful in their hearts. When he knows that if he does it repeatedly at a certain moment, his parents will not find out, he will continue to do it secretly.

If one day he grows up and his inner strength is strong enough, then he will evolve into the third type.

(3) Don’t be afraid of violence and go your own way

Some children are afraid of their parents from childhood to adulthood, while some children do not take their parents seriously.

Some children are just two or three years old, and their parents are already at their wits end. No matter how much his parents beat and scold him, he still "went his own way."

Some children did not dare to resist when they were young and could only accumulate dissatisfaction and resentment in their hearts. As their height grows and their inner courage increases, one day they may face your fist and fight at all costs. Look directly at you with fear and say this sentence: "You don't have to worry about it!"

Therefore, adolescence is a period of rebellious explosion.

In fact, the problem is not in adolescence, but in the ten years accumulated before adolescence.

(4) Sincerely admit mistakes without repentance

There is also a kind of child with a very big heart. When he does something wrong and his parents beat him and scold him, he expresses his sincerity. When you realize your mistakes, you can also understand your parents' painstaking efforts and sincerely admit your mistakes.

But once the parents’ anger subsides, the children remain the same. There is no big change in behavior. If you continue to make mistakes next time, continue to apologize.

Such children are generally sunny and optimistic, will not suffer any psychological trauma, and will not accumulate negative emotions. Their cognition is very correct, they know that what they did is wrong, and they think it is normal to be punished.

Among the above four reactions, only the 1st and 4th will not cause physical or mental harm to the child. Types 2 and 3 will have a more or less negative impact on children's mental health.

Parents spank their children for different reasons, frequency and methods, which have different effects on their children.

(1) Be reasonable and measured

Some parents have only spanked their children once or twice in their lives, and each time they hit their children because they made principled mistakes. Just to make him remember it and keep it firmly in his heart. Moreover, the reasoning will be explained clearly before the fight, so that the children can understand right and wrong and correct their three views.

(2) Just spank, not discipline

Some parents will not spank their children at will, but will only spank their children when they see them doing something wrong. But it was over right after the spanking, without any subsequent communication with the child.

After being beaten, the child still doesn’t know where he went wrong (or guessed), let alone how to correct it in the future.

When parents see their children doing something wrong and get angry, they give the child a good beating to dissipate the anger, and the matter is over with the parents. As for how the child understands it and how to adjust it in the future, it depends on the child's understanding ability or luck.

(3) Beating at will, no reason

For some parents, their children are their punching bag.

Children can be spanked multiple times a day if they are unhappy. He spanks his children when he is unhappy, he spanks his children when his work is not going well, he spanks his children when he quarrels with his partner, he spanks his children even more when he does something wrong...

Then the child knows that he is absolutely wrong. He is cautious and lives his life looking at his parents' faces.

(4) Not only beating, but also humiliating

Some parents go even further. , humiliating the child vigorously, trampling the child's entire self-esteem to the ground and crushing it.

For example:

"How do you know how to eat? You are a pig!"

"How did you do this paper? You only passed so much. Points! Are you a fool?"

"You embarrass me so much!"

Most children raised by such parents will use A lifetime of healing from childhood trauma.

If you really don’t have any other scientific methods to educate your children and really want to use "beating", then please reflect on which of the above situations your "beating" is? Will it cause physical or mental harm to the child?

When we can solve problems rationally, please stay rational;

When we can guide children's growth in a friendly way, please stay friendly.

Because "beating" is a kind of behavioral violence and is the last resort done in desperation.

Therefore, this article does not recommend violence, but recommends these three mentality to everyone:

(1) Relax

Hit the child Parents, don’t feel like you are being heinous, just relax.

You see, so many children who have been beaten are still very good and outstanding when they grow up, and are loved and appreciated by tens of millions of people.

So, don’t be too afraid or blame yourself.

(2) Reflect frequently

Parents who spank their children should not feel that they are doing the right thing. Because this is a poor choice after all.

Just because some children still grow up after being beaten, you cannot act more recklessly. People become talented because their parents support and love their children more.

Don’t pay attention to what’s happening, and don’t listen to what you believe.

(3) Learn more

We must maintain a "lifelong learning" mentality, learn more parenting knowledge, master more scientific parenting methods, gradually reduce the number of spankings, and enhance our The parent-child relationship allows children to grow up healthily with the "support of love", live a wonderful life, and live a wonderful life.