The press conference was a great success. They invited the most professional planning team, and the publicity cases in the early stage of the speculation were placed in front of you one by one, complementing each other and finalizing them. You don't even have to think about how to answer the reporter's questions, just stand in the light they set and keep that stiff face.

I sat next to Chen Mo at the press conference. In fact, I am neither a screenwriter nor a producer, nor even a consultant. I'm just an original work. There's no need to invite me. But they invited me sincerely as planned.

Click click click. Everyone has a high degree of calm on his face. Everyone knows that Chen Mo and I are told to "live together". These days, photos have been uploaded to all parts of the world, which are more authentic than Li Zekai and Louis Koo.

But reporters' questions are neither too painful nor too painful, at least for me-because readers usually poke me in the book review area more directly than this.

Someone asked Chen Mo, "Do you want to put on clothes one by one?"

As a result, the host grabbed the microphone and said, "OK, let's go to the next link-"

Boring

It was already evening when it was over. We were taken to a celebration party, full of people we didn't know. Finally, I was tired but felt energetic and empty-sure enough, this group of people in the entertainment circle didn't intend to end the carnival at all, so we were taken to a hidden nightclub and drank at midnight.

Like a ghost, he disappeared into the darkness as soon as he came in. No, it's not completely black; Like all dance halls you can imagine, it is full of noisy music, ambiguous breath and colorful lights.

Chen Mo and I were left alone in a box, and the big screen flickered faintly.

I drank a little too much. I was blown by the wind outside just now, and I feel a little headache. I leaned aside and said sleepily, "I've actually been to this place once before, at the Workers' Stadium. "But I didn't enter the box."

I said, "And I didn't stay long."

I said, "At that time ... a long time ago. But in fact, time is not long ... but I always feel that time has passed for a long time ... "

I should still remember the lights on the night of work, and those eyes that are as depressed as the lake. ...

Chen Mo said to the waiter, "Please bring a straw, thank you."

I fell to one side, immersed in the sticky ambiguous and vague smell on the sofa. I said, "Chen Mo, you don't know. None of you know. Readers want me to write a happy ending. What is Happy Ding? What is the definition of Happy Ding? Well, even if I know what Happy Ding is, can I write it down? I'm not happy at all. How can I write an event? "

I said, "This article is finally finished. Cool, so fucking cool. I will never write such an article again. I will never write such an article again. Readers are as unhappy as possible ... I am obviously the most unhappy. How can I write a happy poem to make them happy? "

I watched the waitress come in shyly and handed him some straws. Then he smiled at her and said thank you. She ran out shyly in the dark with the door behind her. I said, "What is Baden? Chen Mo, I'm telling you ... Baden is life. "

He hasn't spoken since just now. I looked at him blankly and depressed, and some vague music came from the screen. My vision is a little blurred, too. I saw that he emptied a small dish of melon seeds, then took out a little thing and sprinkled some white powder on it, and then pointed the straw at the small dish-

Wait a minute!

I woke up in an instant, jumped up from the sofa and looked at him in shock.

He turned a face with the highest hue, and thousands of floating lives fluctuated in those eyes: "Are you coming?" The voice is still calm and deep, just like coming straight out of the movie.

I pointed at him and my eyes almost fell out: "You ...! You! I ... You ... "

We looked at each other for a long time. After watching it for a while, I was decisively defeated and bowed my head sullenly. "Hmm" I think I must be more depressed. "I know that many people in your circle are like this ... but I don't know that you are ..."

He waved gently, his eyes blurred, took out his lighter and smoked a cigarette: "Now I know."

I feel I have nothing to say. It took me a long time to say, "... it's not good for your health. "

He leaned back on the cushion and narrowed his eyes. His voice was still heavy: "Why didn't I know it was bad for my health?" Sometimes I can't help it. I'm under too much pressure. I don't want to control myself too much once or twice. In fact, it's nothing ... Usually I smoke something soft, such as marijuana or ecstasy. "

I looked at him and said, "Does taking medicine really make you happy?"

He took a deep breath of his cigarette, shook his head after a while and said firmly, "It's actually useless, just floating for a while." Your words ... may be worse after the medicine wears off. "

I was silent and bowed my head and said, "I didn't know you were unhappy ... you always look very motivated."

"No," he said with a smile, "you must think I am very motivated in the movie. That's for the public. The public wants to see you full of energy. Who is willing to spend money to buy your depression ... "

I'm even more depressed when I hear it. Turn around and fall on the mat, staring blankly at the screen. Drunk to death.

I heard myself say, "Chen Mo, are you unhappy? Don't you regret it after entering the business? "

He stopped smoking, put down his cigarette butt and yawned-how beautiful the beautiful woman yawned! I looked at him and asked slowly, "Have you ever regretted it?"

I said, "No."

He smiled: "That's the same. Do a line, love a line, I am very dedicated. When you sleep with wine, you have to stand up ... It's the same everywhere else, which line is different? "

After a while, he sighed and said, "In fact, no one can be so lucky as you ... you said it yourself, didn't you?"

I looked at him and said, "Yes ... Who is luckier than me? I only wrote for a few years and got so much money, and the book was shot to pieces. It doesn't matter if I don't write now, I have earned enough money in my life ... "Speaking of which, my voice is getting lower and lower, and my headache is splitting.

I remember what he said in the last paragraph of his diary. He said I left you a lot of things, and you will receive them slowly. I once said I'll give you whatever you want, but you never said what you want, and I don't know what you want. So I can only give you what I want to give you ... when did he start to arrange this investment?

Make a film to scare people. I used to think that The Reborn Wu Tenglan was the most impossible script in the world.

It's a movie now. What's next? I have to live slowly and see what he left me ... isn't it?

He said, "Yes ... so I'm lucky to be with you. I earn enough money to make a few more movies in my life. It doesn't matter if I go to seclusion. "

I immediately turned to look at him: "Do you want to quit?"

"Come on, come on." He said, "it's not that easy to retire ... but you have to retire." I can't do it in my life. I just don't know what I can do when I retire ... "He said somewhat dejectedly," I am used to living only for the public, and I will definitely be lonely in the future ... But when I was young, my mind was full of dreams, and I really wanted to be an actor all my life. Later, when I entered the business, I realized that it was impossible. "

I stared at the screen and said, "I used to want to write all my life ..."

"Don't want to write now?" He smiled and drank a glass of wine, and then vaguely said, "You are in a bad mood now. You will be fine in a few days."

"Probably." I said blankly, "I really don't write and I don't know what to do ..."

"Do you have any thoughts on the next article?"

"Yes ... there are many, I don't know which one to write."

"Come on," he said, "I'm still waiting for you to write more books. I continue to sing the leading role and let me put on my clothes one by one. "

We all laughed. Although our language is so frank, there is no disguise, as if we are really happy to laugh-yes, we are really laughing, but this laughter sounds so bitter, full of confusion and trance immersed in their respective worlds.

I finally stopped laughing. I said to him, "I still can't write a happy ending. No matter how the reader asks, I just can't write it. " What time is it now? "

He looked at his mobile phone and said, "It's almost dawn."

I said, "Oh ... Great. Do you know ... every day when I open my eyes and see the sun rising, I am full of despair. I went running, swimming, reading all kinds of books ... all useless. I don't even want to go to Weibo. I don't want to transfer all kinds of information on Weibo, including politics. I don't care if I should take some medicine to cheer up. ……"

He listened to my words, turned his head and leaned against his lips in slow motion-it was too close. Those eyes full of ups and downs are in front of me, and I feel that I will be swallowed up by the ocean of those eyes.

Then he separated me, shook his head and whispered, "I'm afraid sex is not good either, what do you think?"

I smiled. I leaned my head on his knee and smiled and said, "Hey, you know, it is rumored that we are having sex outside ... it doesn't matter if we really have sex." I don't care ... I have experienced more incredible things than this. What's the point of fooling around? " People outside must be jealous of me because you are good-looking and skilled, right? "

He also smiled and said with a microphone, "Do you want to invite some sisters in to sing and play?"

I said, "don't. Now I feel nervous when I see girls singing ... Yuriko sang "I know you are sad" to me with tears in her eyes for so long, which made me cry. I can't be happy ... I'll tell you what I'm most afraid of now, Fish Leong, Faye Wong, Jolin Tsai, what finally brought love back, what a pity that you didn't accompany me to the end, what a narrow road meet in my lifetime, and I can't be spared ... I'd rather listen to my girlhood, but I don't understand it anyway. "

He ate an orange slowly and said with a smile, "That's good, so you like being young now?" If you have the chance to meet them at the Tokyo Awards Ceremony next time, I will sign the cd for you. "

I said, "Well, Chen Mo, that's very kind of you. You deserve to be my legendary good friend. Can you sing the Japanese version of gee? Can be jubilant, ac and Jin Kela blue road salesman German boy and chorus version of the head of state, * * * * * BBBBBB ~ ~ * * * BBBBBB…… ... "

He put down the orange and picked up the receiver. I smiled and said, come on, try to release the record as soon as possible. I'll pull all the people in the circle who can write lyrics for you.

As a result, I laughed as soon as he opened his mouth. I guess it was meant to be funny. The voice sounds awkward and the lyrics are vague. Slowly, I was sleepy and couldn't help falling asleep.

Before I fell asleep, I listened for a while and heard him sing, "You don't have to say that you really love me. Anyway, my soul has been dying piece by piece, slowly pieced together to make a completely different me. " Suddenly, people thought, "How can you piece together a broken me?" I don't know why I felt funny again, but I still smiled.

He said something to me in a daze, as if: "Colin ... stop doing it, what else can you do?" We have nothing ... we can only be happy now ... An idol is a person who needs a lot of love from others to live, and also a person who gives people the most artificial dreams ... "

Then I really fell asleep, in the fuzzy music, blurred alcohol, and shifted lights.

I did return to Na Pianhai. A teenager in a white shirt is waiting for me at the seaside. He rolled up his trousers and wore a fisherman's hat. He looks stronger and healthier than before-he doesn't even look like a teenager anymore.

But I know that in my heart, he will always be a teenager.

There is a long whistle in the distance. I waved desperately to him, ran desperately and stepped on the sand all over the ground: "Hello-son-"

"Dad really is." A gentle arm hugged me, and her voice was soft, just like in a radio play: "Why are you so careless?" There is a reef here. Be careful not to fall. "

"Son!" I desperately grabbed him and suddenly found that he was so tall, so much taller than before, that he could hug me completely-"son! Where are you going! "

"Dad." Chen looked at me tenderly and said, "I'm leaving. Didn't you finish it? You also wrote a badending. "

"Don't!" I said in horror, "Are you going to abandon your father like this? Did you all leave like this? Don't! You! You ..... I'll change the ending when I get back! Can I change the ending! "

"What are you talking about, Dad?" He said, squeezing my face gently. "Dad is such a child."

"Son!" I hugged him and cried. "They're all gone! Son, you can't just leave! "

Behind him, a huge ship came slowly from the sea. The whistle is so long and looks so luxurious, comparable to the Titanic-my fear has deepened.

"Dad." He smiled gently and said, "Dad knows this is Na Pianhai ... Does Dad still want to find the man by the lighthouse now? It's the man on the fourth floor in dad's dream. I hid him ... if dad wants to see him, I can take him. I must leave. "

"No ... no!" I said tearfully, "All lighthouses are going to die! I don't want anything! I don't want anything! Son, you can't just leave! No ... don't! ……"

He held up his finger and put it in front of my lips. His eyes were bent with laughter, and he looked very affectionate: "Shh-Dad, listen."

I looked up in horror and heard the faint music-mixed with the whistle, coming from the ship; The melody is familiar, like a never-ending waltz, singing:

One day when we were young,

onewonderfulmorninginmay

youtoldme

You love me.

When we were young one day.

..... This is! This is! This is when we are young! The departing ship is playing when we were young, which is a standard parting scene-

I burst into tears and grabbed Chen: "Son! Don't go! "

He smiled and hugged me again and said to my ear, "That's it. Well, when we are young-but our young days are coming to an end ... "

I watched him board the deck in front of me. The great fear, pain and sadness of being abandoned completely swallowed me up ... No, no, you will never understand, this is more painful than all the pain of separation I have experienced before-because they are all natural close friends, or their hearts are changeable, and they will never understand me like Chen-

I still remember how desperate I was in my dream. The sun was so strong that the sails on the deck were blown up by the wind. The smell of the ocean is close to my nostrils. I shouted desperately at the ship that was leaving, and finally I couldn't call anything out. I watched it leave the beach and finally fell down in despair.

"What a stupid father."

The voice rang softly in my ear again. I looked up blankly and found that the sun was shining, seagulls were flying on the deck, and my son was staring at me angrily with Zhang greatly's face.

"Dad is such an idiot!" He pointed at me angrily-only then did he look like a child again; "My original story is over, so I want to leave the original coast and start a new story on a broader and more noisy sea. How can a new story have no father? That was a joke just now! This can't be seen! "

"Ah ..." I looked at him blankly. "Son ... you're not leaving?"

"Let's go! Of course I'm going! Take dad! Dad is really baga! "

My nose is sour and I want to shed tears in my dream. At this time, he suddenly became gentle again, stretched out his hand and wiped the corner of my eye, and said softly, "Dad, don't cry. You cry like a child. The road of life is still so long, and our future has just begun, isn't it? "

His white shirt smelled of washing and was warmed by the sun. I nodded and choked and said, "Hmm."

As soon as he turned his head, Wang Ba's breath filled his whole body. He stepped on the side of the ship and shouted with great pride, "Speed up with all your strength-let's go! For new love and noise, for no dark place! "

At that moment, the sun was just right, and the sea breeze blew all over the body, but it was not cold at all.

I looked at the sun in my dream and couldn't help laughing. Just keep driving-at this moment, I have never felt that I live in the sun and live so happily. I am a person surrounded by love ... loved by some very important people, loved by many people I don't know ... but my side is actually full of all kinds of love. As Chen Mo said, an idol is a person who needs a lot of love to survive.

No matter how I live, that love is all around me, whether it is a blessing or a shackle. In the past, they decided who I am now, and in the future, I am my present work-they have always been with me and shaped me. They are always by my side.

I laughed loudly in my dream. Whether I'm happy or desperate, whether I'm happy or desperate, I'm happy in the end ... because I have so much, so much love, I'm loaded with a boat and sailing to an unknown and distant place.

There are no more floating scenes in the shadows. What can we do? When we wake up in the Ming Dynasty, we can still sail for new love and noise.

When the song of spring rings

Remember that morning in May?

commemorate

You loved me.

When we were young, one day