People say you are modest, but you agree, then you are really proud. The following are my funny quotations, welcome to read!

Eating and seeing a doctor

Pure food sickness only depends on Chinese medicine, because western medicine is gone in one bite, and Chinese medicine can drink two more.

Be at a loss at the moment

Xiao Li, a vegetable who has been in a coma for many years, suddenly kicked his leg and his family was at a loss. I don't know whether he is awake or dead.

Growing up drinking AD calcium milk

I grew up drinking AD calcium milk when I was a child. As a result, Xiaohong grew into A milk, Xiaohua grew into D milk and Xiaoming became calcium.

What is Zen?

Sister: Brother, what is Zen? Big Brother: I have chicken legs here. Do you want to eat? Sister: Yes. Big Brother: This is called greed. ..

Milk won't sell. Why did you choose to dump it?

Lao Wang: Milk can't be sold. Why did you choose to dump it? Xiao Ming: You will get it yourself, but you bad guys want to get it for nothing.

What were you thinking when you ran 1000m?

Lao Wang: What were you thinking when you ran 1000m? Xiaoming: What lap is this?

What's it like to be in love with a lawyer?

Lao Wang: What's it like to be in love with a lawyer? Xiao Ming: If you don't get divorced, you can't even get underwear.

This is a difficult move.

Lao Wang: I need to lose 20 Jin in 20 days for some reason. What should I do? Xiaoming: Amputation!

I like people the least.

I like two kinds of people least: the first is racist; The second kind of person is black; The third kind of people are people who can't count.

Do something big

I'm going to do a big thing this afternoon, repair the soil, just do it, pick up the hoe and go to the ground.

There is something wrong with this secretary.

The boss called his secretary and said, I have to encourage you. Only seven words in this document are wrong. Ok, let's look at the second line.

When I was a child, I was a tease.

Pee like a boy, and I peed on a leg! My mother scolded me half to death! I am a girl.

bedclothes

Beauty; What are you going to buy? Me: Bedclothes. Me: Do you think I can?

A godlike answer

Why is it more expensive to pull a Ferrari for two people than a bus for 100 people? Shenzhou 5 only pulled one.

Let me tell you the truth.

"Do you know why ugly people give priority to speaking?" "Why?" "Because' I'll tell you the truth first'"

You are as hot as snow.

I saved dandruff for a year just to show you a snow.

A man with a big face has a good temper.

People with big faces are generally super good-tempered, because it is really difficult to turn them against each other!

Is a special person.

I always felt that I was a special person when I was a child. When I grow up, I find myself really special and poor.

The shortcomings of contemporary people

If you don't take pictures while eating, you can't; I can't stop taking pictures.

Run faster than a dog.

Shopping and seeing two men running, the one behind suddenly said: MD, running faster than a dog. ...

My memory is getting worse and worse.

"Well, I don't know why, but my memory is getting worse now." "How bad is it?" "How bad is what?"

The most futile thing

"What is the most futile thing you have ever done?" "Take off your clothes and stand on the weighing scale."

This is called a self-marriage tour.

It's spring, and single girls should dress themselves up and travel. This is called a self-marriage tour.

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