Zhao: Hurry up. You will soon be declared as an Olympic torchbearer. Hurry up!
Song; Come on, what's it to you? Put the chair down quickly, I need to have a rest quickly.
Zhao: Not too slow!
(Zhao Benshan puts the chair away, Song Dandan sits down and holds out his left hand)
Zhao: What are you doing?
Song: What are you talking about? Remember, stretching your left hand is water, stretching your right hand is to shut up, stretching your left foot is to rub your legs, and stretching your right foot is to kiss, do you hear?
(Song Dandan cock his left leg, Zhao Benshan squats and rubs his leg)
Zhao: My wife, let me tell you something. Go to the scene later. Don't make me rub your legs. Save me some face.
Song: Cherish the opportunity. After running the torchbearer, if you want to touch this leg again, you can't touch it.
Zhao: What's the matter? Can it still run away from this leg?
Song: What kind of legs are these?
Zhao: My legs are cold.
Song: No, this is not an ordinary leg. It is the left leg of an Olympic torchbearer.
Zhao: Ham.
(Liu Liu takes the stage)
Liu: Oh, uncle and aunt, there you are. Go get ready.
Song: And you are?
(Song Dandan gets up and says to Liu Liu)
Liu: I'm Xiao Liu, the host today.
Song: I'm Baiyun, and this is my assistant Xiaohei.
Liu: Uncle, I'm telling you, our program has changed a little today.
Zhao: Don't change it. For half a year, she has been promoting the idea of becoming a torchbearer in the newspaper.
Liu: We did a survey on the Internet, and it turns out that netizens have a very high voice for you to be a torchbearer. Now your support rate has surpassed that of your aunt.
(Zhao Benshan and Song Dandan look at each other)
Zhao: Public opinion.
Liu: So in the end, our organizing committee decided to let netizens ask questions today and let the two old people answer them on the spot. Finally, according to the online support rate, who is the farmer torchbearer in northern Liaoning today is decided. Now that the netizen's question has come out, first of all, let's briefly investigate two candidates for Olympic torchbearers. Netizen question: We torchbearers need to run a long distance to pass the Olympic flame. Both old people are over 80 years old. How far can you run? You must tell the truth!
(Zhao Benshan raises his hand to answer)
Zhao: I run two miles.
(Zhao Benshan vs Song Dandan)
Zhao: Tell the truth!
Song: I think this problem should not be a problem. Because this is something that can be exercised. No one is born to run. Answer over.
Liu: Keep listening. The questions raised by netizens need to be answered by two old people first. Please listen carefully. What sports are annoying?
(Song Dandan gets up and answers)
Song: Football!
Liu: What sports look more worrying?
Song: China Football!
Liu: Please ask the two old people to continue listening. The Olympic Games is an international competition. Our torchbearers had better know a little foreign languages. How do you say tea in English?
(Song Dandan gets up and answers)
Song: Tea!
Liu: Green tea?
(Zhao Benshan gets up and answers)
Zhao: Green tea.
Liu: Now some netizens ask, Who is the father of modern Olympics?
(Zhao Benshan gets up)
Zhao: Whose father?
Liu: What's the name of the father of modern Olympics?
Song: I don't know anything. Why do you want to stand up?
Zhao: I'm afraid you will rob me.
Liu: Then we have to cancel this question!
Liu: Oh, that's right. At present, online voting shows that aunt's votes are very close to uncle's. Oh, it has surpassed uncle now.
Song: Look at my popularity.
Liu: The last question is like this. Please tell torchbearer candidates how much they love the Olympic flame.
(Song Dandan goes first)
Song: Thanks to Tieling TV Station and Liaoning TV Station, maybe later.
CCTV, thanks to my family, my friends, my fans and those loyal "mice". Without you, there would be no Ms. Baiyun today. Today, on this grand occasion, I want to reveal a secret that has been hidden for many years. I am premature. When I came into this world, the first thing I said was not my mother, but my father. I have been attached to fire since I was a child. When I was three years old, I played with fire and caused a huge fire at home. I accidentally put a brazier when I was six or seven years old, and now I still have marks on my hips. When I was a teenager, I got on the train and was introduced by a cook to a black soil that burned me all my life. From then on, I lived a miserable life. I often ask myself why I came to the earth with low salary and why I have an indissoluble bond with fire. Today, I finally understand that I was born for the Olympic torchbearers. This is what my mother said to me yesterday.
Zhao: Hey hey, your mother has been dead for more than 30 years!
Song: I dreamed it. What! My mother said to me, Yun, you are born of fire, you are the fire of life, and the Olympic torchbearer must be you!
Zhao: Why didn't your mother say you came by rocket?
Song: Why, my mother also said that if anyone dares to compete with you for the position of torchbearer, your father and I will take him away!
Liu: Now this competition has reached a white-hot stage. Let's say something next
Zhao: It's a dead hand. I don't argue. I will give this opportunity to my wife.
(Song Dandan points to Zhao Benshan)
Song: Give it up!
Zhao: If you don't give up, you will die!
Liu: Now we have the result of online voting. Dear friends, I announce that the last candidate for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games is Uncle Black Soil.
(Song Dandan gets up crying to leave, and Zhao Benshan goes to pull Song Dandan)
Zhao: Don't cry. According to my wife, it's all decided by the people. We belong to the same family, so it is glorious for everyone.
Song: But I can't stand it. How can I live if you are me? Now you can't bully me like I bully you!
Zhao: I can't be my wife. No matter what I am, I am your wife.
Song: Does my gesture still work?
Zhao: Your gestures are very useful.
(Song Dandan holds out his left hand and right foot respectively)
Zhao: Drink water, shut up, rub your legs and kiss your old mouth.
Zhao: You should be happy for me to be a torchbearer! What a wonderful thing, isn't it? I can't live if you don't bully me all my life.
Liu: Dear friends, now let's invite Uncle Black Soil to give his acceptance speech.
Zhao: Good! (Shouting and clapping)
Zhao: Today, what about me? Unexpectedly, I am eighty ... (Shouting and clapping)
Liu: Uncle, this is a souvenir of our activity.
(Zhao Benshan holds Song Dandan's hand with a torch)
Zhao: Baby, come on, centennial Olympics, 2008, let me catch up! (Shouting)