1. The secret of longevity-keep breathing and don’t stop breathing.

2. Because I was too careful in the past, I am now heartless.

3. Don’t tell ghost stories at night, because people like to hear them, and ghosts also like to hear them.

4. My dear, you must believe me. I feel dizzy even on a boat, let alone riding two boats.

5. Distance does not bring beauty , but a third party.

6. The generation gap is, you ask your dad: What do you think of "Chrysanthemum Terrace"? Dad, think about it: I’ve never drank before

7. Please don’t call me a homebody, please call me a closed house; please don’t call me a homebody, please call me Madame Curie

8. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn’t even have to drink the northwest wind

9. I only drink pure water and pure milk, so I am very simple

10. The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, while humans are sometimes not humans

11. There are always thirty days every month when I don’t want to go to work

12. I used a sack of money to go to college and exchanged it for a sack of books. After graduation, I used these books to exchange for money, but I couldn’t afford a sack.

13. Since I got a mental illness, I have become more energetic. .

14. Traveling is to go from a place where you are tired of living to a place where others are tired of living.

15. If the fire truck doesn’t come, the fire will be extinguished.

16. Don’t do something wrong and just throw all the dirty water on yourself and keep it for flushing the toilet.

17. The cool thing about Xinwen Network is that even if you keep changing channels, you can still watch a piece of news completely.

18. Who are you making that expression with? The loan I owe you is about to expire or something.

19. I am not your little raccoon, and I can’t play with you as much as you want.

20. Raising fish is quite troublesome. I need to change the water once a week, which I often forget. Later, I had to change the fish once a week.

21. The most terrifying thing in the world is not that terrorists kidnap you, but that the Philippine police rescue you.

22. Salary is like a big aunt, once a month, it disappears in about a week 2:. I am flat-chested and proud of myself. I save fabrics for the country.

23. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first or I hang up first.

24. The price of instant noodles has increased, the price of eggs has increased, the price of flour has increased, the price of gasoline has increased, and the price of down jackets has increased. In addition to wages, the price of almost everything around us has increased, but we still have to be strong. alive, because the price of cemeteries has also increased now

25. A village held a meeting to discuss reforming funerals and saving land resources, and the villagers expressed their opinions. A said: I suggest it! There is no need for a coffin, which saves money and space. B said: I think burying it vertically can save space. Bing smoked his pipe and said slowly: Look, only half of it was buried vertically, and even the tombstone was omitted. You can tell who died at a glance. Share funny mood phrases

Share funny mood phrases

1. The most common thing I have said to my classmates in my life is: Hey, lend me your homework

2. You have to know that under my strong skin, I am a person who is prone to collapse

3. There is a BMW in front of me, a Mercedes-Benz following behind, and a donkey in the middle

4. Don’t say it You love me very much. If you are able, you can take me to see your parents during the Chinese New Year.

5. Both good and evil will be punished. Just wait and see if you steal my man, I will steal your man too

6. While waiting for the bus, I heard a couple say: Run quickly. , Route 8 is coming.

7. Spit is used to count money, not to reason.

8. The longer I stay in contact with people, the more I like dogs; dogs are always dogs, but sometimes people are not people.

9. I feel like eating now, but I still want to eat, but I don’t know what it means to be full

10. My mother said: Those who blush most easily are often the ones who are most likely to blush. kind.

11. The biggest pain in life is to go through the wind and rain without seeing the rainbow, and end up catching a cold

12. Living in this crazy era, we must embrace everything Fuck your sister’s mentality.

13. You said ice is like sleeping water, but I only remember sighing that farts are shit.

14. "Doctor, what should I do if I have enlarged pores?" "Turn down the pixels."

15. Three feet of ice will not last a day, and three layers of belly will not last a day.

16. How much love can be messed up, how many broken shoes are waiting.

17. Youth is about running hard and then falling beautifully

18. My quilt is sick, so I have to take good care of it.

19. I counted my fingers and found that I am missing in your life

20. You have a heart born in the 1980s and a face born in the 1970s.

21. Don’t think that just because you are good-looking, you can curse people!

22. One day, Ultraman raised his hand to answer a question in class, and then the teacher died.

23. You are mine! I heard that marriage certificates are very cheap now. You can get them for only 9 yuan. Let me treat you!

24. Every time the chemistry teacher does an experiment, I always say one word silently in my heart: "explode"...

25. If you regard me as a game, I will start I'll torture you to death

26. How many people like me love to listen to English songs but don't know the meaning. ?

27. Eating is what I want; getting fat is what I want; I can’t have both, so I’m done with it.

28. If you want good eyesight, use Hushubao first. Recommended by Chrysanthemum

29. Since ancient times in life, no one has shit, and there is no one who doesn’t need paper when shitting. Good poems, good poems

30. Each of us is a dreamer. When the dream goes away, only homesickness remains.

31. Shamelessness, if done well, is called a strong psychological quality.

32. A fat person cries because he can’t lose weight; a thin person becomes anxious because he can’t gain weight.

33. The red beans don’t grow in the South, but grow on my face. What a shame!

34. The head can be broken, but the hairstyle cannot be messed up; the blood can flow, and the leather shoes must be oiled.

35. Don’t underestimate me, the earth is still under my feet.

36. If I die, can you please put a computer in my coffin?

37. There is a kind of love called tall, rich and handsome, and there is a kind of hurt called ugly.

38. "Words, come to your head!" "You just got to your head! Can't you change your brain to a bigger one?"

39. It is said that the first When you meet someone for the first time, if your body temperature is 38.6°, it’s love at first sight.

40. Broadcast gymnastics begins now: ╔囧╗╔囧╝╚囧╝╚囧╗╔囧╗╔囧╝╚囧╝╚ 囧╗╔囧╗

41. It's none of your business that I love you. If you have the ability, would you like to love me too?

42. Love is like toilet paper, don’t keep talking about it

43. I am lazy, too lazy to even want to spend money (if a man marries such a wife, he will secretly enjoy it) (right)

44. I am too lazy to even find a husband, so I have to let others take care of me first

45. The moonlight shines brightly on the bedside, and I predict that the mistress will sleep soundly. I felt like peeing in my crotch, dare I ask where the diaper is?

46. Outside the Qingshan Building outside the mountains, my husband and mistress were about to jump off the building, and I shouted "Come on" from downstairs.

47. If your husband’s lover fell into a puddle, would you choose to dance or sing?

48. Oops, what’s wrong with having small breasts! Hey, it can shorten the distance between two hearts.

49. The weather in winter is very dry, so more and more people pick their noses on the street.

50. No matter how serious a man is, he can’t resist a vixen, no matter how tough a girl is. Sharing of funny mood phrases for children who have to menstruate

Sharing of funny mood phrases

1. Only because of your love, I have the qualifications to be able to tease you and learn to be bad.

2. It is a pity to choose the lightest thoughts, which can explain the rough life.

3. You are still like this, still the same, subverting my emotions.

4. Threshold, if you pass it, it is a door; if you cannot pass it, it is a hurdle.

5. No one told you that you are ruthless, innocent, and sorry for the people and the party.

6. If you want to live a decent life, a man must have a green head.

7. Can’t you see that I turn a blind eye, then what do you think I am doing?

8. There was bright moonlight in front of the window, which sprinkled a bowl of soup on the ground. He raised his head to pick up the towel, but lowered his head to wipe his crotch.

9. In fact, men hate mistresses the most! My favorite is the mistress!

10. I have been chasing Cupid’s arrows, but you are flying and flying wearing a bulletproof vest.

11. I will always hold you in my hands, and finally close my palms, I can’t hold you in!

12. A person must do five things in his life, eat, drink, defecate, urinate, and sleep.

13. When the boss uses you, you are a talent; when the boss does not use you, it becomes a layoff.

14. When I was a child, I had an acne on my face, and when I grew up, there was only a pimple.

15. You are a fairy, you just hit the ground face first when you descend to earth.

16. Those who plotted against me, do you dare to do it openly?

17. Forget it, don’t lose weight, it’s not my meat you love.

18. Nowadays, boys are whiter than girls, have longer hair than girls, and are more beautiful than girls.

19. If no one ignores me anymore, I will become an authentic Tianjin "Goubuli" bun!

20. Sister, I am still very intellectual and artistic.

21. My youth owes me ten million, and I don’t think I will let it go.

22. You don’t need to understand my things, just shut up.

23. Sometimes a woman’s momentary impulse is a man’s lifelong pain.

24. Although he clearly knows that strong melons are not sweet, he does not like to eat melons.

25. I remember when I was a child, the thickest letters were love letters, but when I grew up, the thickest letters were bank statements.

26. If you still can’t reach it, then try stepping on the right foot with your left foot.

27. For a bachelor, Valentine’s Day is like a visit from an aunt.

28. The doctor told me to carry out photosynthesis frequently in the future and not to stay up late.

29. Are you willing to take me home as your daily necessity, dear?

30. The wind was so strong that it was able to blow all my mobile phone signals to China Unicom’s!

31. Once I drank too much, I went crazy, and then I regretted it the next day. Funny phrases to share

1. Can you give me a lesson? Silly thinking about the scene of hugging you

2. No matter whether it is a person or a ghost, as long as Little Plum Guoguo is around, I will not be afraid.

3. When I fall in love with you, you can’t escape. You just live in my heart.

4. From the beginning to the end, I was heartbroken in pain, but you were heartless.

5. Dear, I know your length and you know my depth.

6. Looking at Min's appearance, you know that Min's parents were not serious when making Min.

7. Life is like Zeng Yike. If you go astray from the beginning, you will never come back.

8. People who are jealous of me dare not mention me, and people who laugh at me always talk about me.

9. I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future but no way out.

10. Mona Lisa smiled because she saw Leonardo da Vinci crying.

11. Now, what else can we do to (save) our innocence

12. Life is so sad, where the essay went off topic, even I don’t know

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13. Because I don’t like tidying up the room, they all call me the messy room hero.

14. Your facial features are very abstract, your acne is very euphemistic, and your body shape is very specific

15. >>Fu, that is, cats eat [fish], dogs eat [meat]... Ott Man fight [咒 Monster

16. Shoot the vulture, shoot the lion, shoot the tiger＼shoot yourself

17. Funny signature: One foot up, one foot down, and the ground foot.

18. Bring Little Red Riding Hood and let’s seduce the Big Bad Wolf.

19. ′ ﹎ i cigarette scars, 2 cigarette scars, 3 cigarette scars... slowly fell asleep.

20. Male 似), 'Please tie the stubble and tighten the waist bag of 伱似'.

21. The sky is very dark and you can’t see my tears.

22. The journey is far away. You said to her. It will take you a year to see me clearly. Do you really see me clearly?

23. Oh my God! My clothes are getting fat again. ··

24. People who ride on little turtles and carry treasures, hold lollipops, sing the national anthem in high pitched voices, and rise up and do not want to be slaves...

25. Look~· How warm and brilliant the husband of the moon is!

26. I --- I'm drifting on an ostrich!

27. Love can be suspended, but life must continue.

28. Don’t compete with your sister, she will make you cry very rhythmically.

29. Your smile is brighter than that piece of shit under the sun.

30. Don’t say that we are good if we listen to our parents. It’s just that we are more sensible than you and know how to be filial.