1. Conventional weddings

In ancient times, weddings in Zhangzhou basically followed the traditional "six rites". Zhu Xi, who once served as the magistrate of Zhangzhou, advocated deleting and simplifying ancient rituals. Cai Shiyuan, a scholar in Zhangzhou in the Qing Dynasty, said, "My Minhun (wedding) ceremony consists of accepting gifts, paying coins, and asking for an appointment in person." It can be seen that at that time, "asking for names" in the six rites was merged into "nacai", and "naji" and "nazheng" were combined into "nacoin". According to "Zhu Xi's Family Rituals" compiled by Cai, the wedding procedure is: "At dusk, the master informs his son in the ancestral hall, then offers wine to his son and admonishes him, and the son receives the wine and kneels down to listen to the admonishment..." This should be the home of poetry and calligraphy. set. Folk marriage focuses more on material forms, the etiquette and customs are extremely complicated, and there are great regional differences.

(1) Proposal for marriage

Proposal for marriage is equivalent to the ancient "acceptance" and "asking for names". In the old days, marriage in Zhangzhou attached great importance to matchmaking. "Although it is a life contract, it will not be concluded unless it is a matchmaker." The matchmaker is a key figure in the marriage negotiation stage.

1. Exploring the family style

It is also called "showing the family style" and "tacking the family style". Before formally proposing for marriage, both men and women must try to understand each other's family situation, especially the woman who is more cautious about this. She must ask her relatives to go to the man's house in advance to explore the family tradition, understand the other's family members, and find out their finances. situation.

2. Seeking Geng

The man prepares a gift with his name and asks the matchmaker to come to the woman’s home to propose marriage. When the woman agrees to propose marriage, she will accept the gift and write the birthday of the girl to be married on red paper (white paper used by Hakka). Generally, it is written "Kun Zao was born on such a certain day, a certain month, a certain year, and a certain time." To the man.

3. Integrated marriage

After receiving the woman’s Geng Tie, the man places it on the tables of gods and ancestors for divination, and then places the woman’s Geng Tie under the incense burner on the offering table for three days. During this period, if people and animals are safe and there are no quarrels, illnesses, or broken dishes, it can be said to be "three yen" or "three good days". Three days later, a fortune teller is asked to "match the marriage" and determine whether the couple is suitable for marriage based on their birth dates. In the old days, after a daughter was born, if her birthday was not perfect, her parents would ask a fortune teller to forge a good "horoscope" that would bring a prosperous husband, a prosperous family, and abundant wealth. Therefore, as the proverb goes: "A man's life is never false, and a woman's life is never true." The incorporation of marriage is pure self-deception.

If the numerology of both parties matches, the man will give his Geng Tie, gift cakes and red envelopes to the woman. The person who delivers the Geng Tie is usually the man's uncle, carrying a red lacquered bamboo basket containing gift cakes and red envelopes. After arriving at the woman's house, he goes straight from the gate to the hall, places the red basket on the altar table, and informs the woman that someone from her ancestors has proposed to her descendant who is waiting for word. After the girl's parents paid homage to their ancestors, they opened the wedding invitation and asked a fortune teller to get married.

4. Blind date

After the marriage, both parties prepare gifts, and the matchmaker will accompany the elders to the other party's home for a blind date. The waiting girl must personally receive the man's guests and serve them tea.

When both parties are satisfied with each other, they can get engaged. The parents of both parties will agree on the size of the bride price, bride price and dowry, and roughly determine the date of the marriage. I like to set my wedding date in the Year of the Dragon, but I don’t like to set my wedding date in the Year of the Tiger. The seventh month of the lunar calendar is the ghost month, so the wedding date will not be set in this month. If the combined ages of both men and women are exactly 50, they will not get married. Hakka people avoid proposing marriage or getting married in the third and sixth months of the lunar calendar. There is a saying that "white fields and water are unlucky".

After the two parties reach an agreement, the woman will issue the gift list.

(2) Engagement

Engagement is equivalent to the ancient "Naji", "Nazheng" and "Applying period", which is regarded as the beginning of a happy event. From this time until a period of time after the marriage, both men and women and their relatives are not allowed to participate in the funeral, so as to avoid "red and white conflict", which is detrimental to the happy family. Engagement includes the following etiquette and customs:

1. Engagement

Also known as "over-dating", "food-dating", "settling", "writing" or "sending-dating". The female elders of the man's family are accompanied by a matchmaker and deliver the agreed gifts to the woman's family on the chosen auspicious day as a final betrothal. Gifts are generally cloth, incense candles, rock sugar, noodles, orange cakes, betel nut, ?N leaves, lotus seeds, pork, gift cakes, peanut candy, tobacco and wine, and rings and jewelry, often in 12 colors.

The bride’s family should entertain the male guests with rock sugar tea and sugar glutinous rice porridge, and the married woman should serve sweet tea in the hall. When guests accept sweet tea, they should give red envelopes as a "tea pot" gift. The girl's parents put the ring given by the man on the finger of the girl to be married, completing the "food fixing" ceremony.

When the male guest leaves, the female guest should return gifts such as a couplet (two face towels connected together). At the same time, both men and women must distribute gift cakes, candies, etc. to relatives, friends, and neighbors to indicate that the marriage has been confirmed.

2. Xingpin

Also known as "promoting appointment" or "sending Dading". The groom's family will send the agreed-upon bride price to the bride's family on an auspicious day. Betrothal gifts are emphasized to be in pairs, including an even number of people giving the betrothal gifts. The poles and poles used to carry the betrothal gifts must be pasted with red paper. The elders of the groom's family carry one pole and walk in front.

Betrothal gifts include marriage certificates, gold and silk sacrifices, bride price, jewelry, fabrics, dresses, cakes, whole pigs, wine, chickens and ducks, sugar, red dumplings and other pastries. The number of gift cakes, candies and pastries is determined by the woman to ensure enough distribution to her relatives, friends and neighbors. In addition, each household will be given a bowl of red dumplings. In some places, only a marriage certificate, gold, silk, sacrifices, wine, etc. are given as a gift. Clothes, skirts and other agreed gifts are given separately by the man, which is called "send a coat".

When giving gifts, the man should issue an engagement letter and list the number of gifts. For example: a pair of marriage certificates, a certain amount of bride price, a gold hairpin, and two chickens and ducks each. The words "The marriage certificate is approved, the betrothal money is fully sealed, the golden hairpin is in full, the virtuous bird is in pairs, and the domestic bird has four wings" should be written. When the bride price arrives, the bride's family fires cannons to welcome them, honors their ancestors with gifts, and receives the visitor according to etiquette. The woman cannot accept all the gifts, but has to cut off the ribs and pig's feet for the male guest to take back, which is called "pressing the bottom of the basket" or "returning". The woman may also give other gifts in return, such as clothes and shoes for the engaged groom, shoes and socks for the future aunt, etc.

After receiving the bride price, the woman must prepare a dowry. The dowry of a wealthy family is called "the whole hall", which includes items that the daughter will use throughout her life, ranging from toilets and needlework to land deeds, house deeds, and even coffins and shrouds, which is called "life and death without asking for help." In the old days, when a wealthy family married a girl, she would also give "a maidservant" as a dowry. A married woman from a poor household only prepares "half a living room": a few sets of clothes, pollen, a mirror, scissors, a ruler, a quilt, a tent and some daily necessities. The dowry usually includes a toilet, which means that the child will be born soon. In addition, a pair of "leading chickens" must be prepared as a dowry. The leading chickens should be a rooster that has just crowed and a hen that is about to lay eggs. On the wedding day, a red-headed rope or red satin is used to tie the feet of a chicken at each end, so that the rooster and the hen squat side by side, and is put into a new rice basket, which is carried to the groom's house by the bride's companion (groomsman).

3. Send off the date

After the man chooses an auspicious day to welcome the bride and gets the woman’s consent, he writes a red note to formally inform the woman of the wedding date and when getting off the sedan chair, he should avoid people with conflicting zodiac signs. Then act according to etiquette. Therefore, there is a saying: "When making a family relationship next door, follow the etiquette."

(1) Adding makeup and adding children

After the engagement, both men and women must give gifts to relatives, friends and neighbors. Cakes and wedding candy. After the wedding day, the girl's relatives and friends will send red envelopes or gifts to the girl's family, which is called "adding makeup"; the boy's relatives and friends will also send red envelopes or gifts to the girl's family to "add to the family". Gifts for congratulations must be delivered before the wedding day, otherwise it is unlucky and the wedding family will not accept it.

(2) Tailoring the wedding clothes

After the wedding day, the male and female families will choose a day to worship the gods and offer incense, and then tailor the wedding clothes, which is called "cutting". In addition to the dress, white underwear for the bride and groom must also be tailor-made. After marriage, the bride should keep this set of underwear properly until she dies, then put this set of underwear into her coffin. Some people say that this move has the meaning of attaching importance to chastity; others say that when Chen Yuanguang entered Zhangzhou and advocated intermarriage between Han and She people, when the She men died in battle, the She women agreed to wear white underwear in memory of the deceased. The bride's wedding dress is a red jacket and red skirt, paired with embroidered red shoes. The dress must be embroidered with a "?" shape to pray for good luck, which is commonly known as "beating ten thousand words".

(3) Face-twisting

Before getting married, the bride must select a day to offer sacrifices to the gods and offer incense to the gods. She should ask a professional woman to "twist the face" for her, which is to use thin threads to cross and twist the bride's face. The hairs on my body. Commonly known as "opening the face", it means becoming an adult.

(4) Setting up the bed

Before getting married, the groom’s family should arrange the bridal chamber properly, and first choose an auspicious day to install the bed and hang the tent. The bed must be placed along the direction of the roof beam, otherwise it will be called "danying", which is unlucky. After the bed is set, one or two boys born under the sign of Dragon (or Snake next) should be invited to climb onto the new bed and roll around to play, which symbolizes the bride's succession of children, and is called "turning over the bed".

Widows and women born in the Year of the Tiger are not allowed to participate in or watch the tailoring of wedding clothes, face-turning, and bed-laying. Congratulatory couplets, congratulatory banners and other congratulatory gifts sent by relatives and friends should be displayed in the hall. Among them, the congratulatory banners sent by the groom's uncle should be hung in the middle of the hall. Light three pinches of incense and a pair of red candles in the hall.

On the eve of the wedding, the girl's parents will ask someone to bring new bedding, mirrors, boxes and other items to the groom's house to decorate the wedding room. Before the wedding, the groom is not allowed to sleep alone in the new house. He must be accompanied by one or two men of his own generation, which is called a "hot house". The first choice for sleeping partners is those born in the year of dragon, avoid choosing those born in the year of tiger.

(3) Marriage

According to the orthodox family etiquette, "welcoming in person" is one of the six rites in the wedding, and it receives great attention. However, in Zhangzhou during the Qing Dynasty, "there were some people who did not greet the bride in person according to local customs". It has never emphasized that the groom personally marries the bride. Many people ask "good luck people" (people with great fortune) to come to greet the bride on their behalf. But he is very particular about the details of the wedding and is meticulous.

1. Coming out of the palace

The ceremony for the bride to come out of the palace is complicated and varies from county to district. In the Qing Dynasty, married girls in Zhangzhou were required to have "nanny wings". There are women in various places who specialize in presiding over such ceremonies, called "marrying mothers". She will accompany the bride to her husband's house, and she will preside over and direct all the ceremonies.

(1) Top

On the wedding day, the bride should bathe in soup made of fragrant flowers and pomegranate branches and leaves, and put on her wedding dress. The bride-to-be bride invites the bride to come to the hall and sings: "Please come out of the hall and be a good person." After the bride comes out, the bride-to-be bride takes the bride's hand and makes her sit upright on one side of the hall. (two large shallow round baskets made of bamboo strips, used for drying grains), while singing: "Sit upright, the bride will be loved." Then the elders or women with "good fortune" will perform the ceremony. She combs her hair, puts a hairpin in a bun, and wears flowers, which is called "Shangtou". In some cases, the mother only puts jewelry in front of the shrine in the hall (if the mother is absent, other female elders will take her place) to show that she has been raised. This ritual is a relic of the ancient hairpin ritual. The bride also wears a phoenix crown. In some places, jasmine is placed on her head to ward off evil spirits, pomegranate leaves are placed on her head to indicate that she will have more children, and ears of early rice are placed on her head to indicate that she will have children early.

After the bride is dressed up, the whole family reunites for a farewell banquet. The banquet consists of 12 dishes, which are called "twelve bowls of circles". After the meal, the bride solemnly bid farewell to her relatives and friends, and then retreated into the inner room.

(2) Get on the sedan

After the groom’s wedding team arrived, and after repeated invitations from the groomsmen, the bride took with her a small mirror to restrain evil spirits and a mirror that symbolized "continuous life". With bags containing mascots such as lotus seeds, peanuts, sweet-scented osmanthus, pomegranates, and jasmine hearts, he walked out of the hall and bowed down to the gods, ancestors, and parents to bid farewell.

Parents cover their daughter’s head with a hijab and sing to her bride: “Cover your head with a black scarf, the bride will be a wise and wise husband (pronounced: capable).” The family throws lit firecrackers onto the roof and sieves them with rice. Covering the bride's head so that the bride cannot see the light, the parents immediately help the bride get on the sedan.

There are often red dumplings and winter melon candies placed in the sedan, and the bride scatters the winter melon candies along the way, which means that this road can be frequented.

(3) Leaving home

After the bride gets on the sedan, she throws the paper fan from the sedan, which is called "letting go (temper)". The father poured a bowl of water on the back of the sedan chair. This was a custom left by the ancients to avoid "turning back" when marrying a girl.

As the sedan takes off, the bride should cry loudly in the sedan, which is called "crying for good luck" and "crying for prosperity". At the same time, the natal family immediately closes the door or sieves the door with rice. In some places, the bride's mother even sits on the large threshold to prevent the natal family's wealth and local influence from being taken away by the bride, which also means that the bride will not turn back.

2. Welcoming the bride

In the old days, a sedan chair was used to welcome the bride. In the 1920s, roads were opened in the urban area of ??Zhangzhou, and horse-drawn carriages began to be used to welcome brides; later, rickshaws, bicycles, and cars were used to welcome brides. In rural areas, it was not until the 1950s that sedan chairs were gradually abandoned and cars were used to transport passengers to welcome brides. After the 1970s, it became popular to ride bicycles, tractors or cars to welcome brides.

It is necessary to choose an auspicious time to welcome the bride, usually in the early morning. Before setting off on the road, the relevant people will have a banquet. There are 12 dishes on the banquet as usual. One plate is full of roasted carp and no chopsticks are allowed to be used. Everyone has to eat the rest.

In the old days, two servants holding a pair of red lanterns with surnames written on the wedding procession of a wealthy family would lead the procession in front of the procession, followed by an eight-music band, an oilcloth sedan for the bride, and five A sedan with red bamboo curtains for the bridegroom and his uncle, an official sedan without bamboo curtains and slightly decorated for the groom, an exquisitely decorated bridal sedan carried by four people, and finally for the gifts and dowry. Carrying □ (sound box, large wooden box for holding gifts). The largest number of boxes is 12 boxes, 24 boxes, and the maximum can reach 60 boxes, commonly known as "hundred and two bars" (120 people carry it). The ordinary people's wedding procession only has one or two sedans, and there are also a few people in the band and box bearers. Two boys each carry a pair of red lanterns using sugar cane with roots and leaves and walk in front of the procession. The last one in the procession carries a cloth bag with a toilet inside. and offspring barrel (birth basin). In some places, the bride-to-be bridegroom escorts are at the end of the queue. Most of the people who "drag green" are boys, dragging pine or banyan branches with complete branches and leaves, and some dragging fresh bamboos with complete heads and tails.

The wedding team set off firecrackers when they arrived at the bride’s house. After firing three bursts of cannon, the bride's house opened the door and invited the wedding party to enter. The groom's family presented two salutes, one with the words "Marriage of Two Surnames" and the other with "One Hundred Sons and Thousands of Grandchildren". The girl's family receives a bundle of "two surnames married" and a bundle of "hundred sons and thousands of grandchildren" is given back to the husband's family.

Then, the bride’s family entertained the wedding team. The man's "groomsman" (groomsman) who accompanies the groom to welcome the bride must try to steal two wine cups during the banquet, take them back to the groom's family and put them under the new bed in the bridal chamber. It is said that the bride can have a baby early. The bride's family pretended not to notice the groom's best friend stealing the wine cup.

After the banquet, the groom’s best friend urged the bride to get on the sedan. The bride had to find various excuses to evade the wedding, and after being urged several times, she came out of the hall and prepared to leave. After the bride gets on the sedan, the welcoming team takes the dowry, sometimes adding the moso bamboo with roots that the woman is going to take to her husband's house to plant, and returns to the groom's house. If the woman has a maid accompanying her to the wedding, she will also accompany the bride in a sedan chair. According to Hakka custom, the woman must have someone holding a "fire dragon" (torch) to accompany her when she gets married, which is called "opening the way to control evil spirits".

The bride-welcoming team was encouraged to sing (musical instruments) along the way, and every time they passed through villages, alleys, temples, and bridges, they had to fire cannons to pass by. When you arrive at the groom's house, you should park the sedan chair in a large ?R□ (yinliang) and wait for the auspicious moment. When the right time comes, the groom will kick the sedan door hard to scare the bride, which is said to prevent the groom from being henpecked in the future. The bride-to-be immediately opened the sedan door, and the uncle held two red tangerines on a red lacquer plate and asked the bride to get off the sedan. The bride gave a red envelope in return. Then the old woman with a "good fortune" (long life, many descendants, and both husband and wife) will help the bride get out of the sedan chair. The wedding bride sings: "When the bride steps on the soil, she will give birth to a good girl; when she steps on the ground, she will give birth to a fat girl." At the same time, some elders cover the bride's head with a rice sieve (nowadays, an umbrella is often used) with a gossip sticker on it. , someone else spreads a red carpet or a new mat or a red sack on the ground to let the bride walk through the door.

When the wedding bride enters the gate with the bride, she should sing good words, such as singing when crossing the threshold: "Transfer ownership? (pronounced, threshold), have food and clothing" and so on. The etiquette for the bride entering the door varies across Zhangzhou: in some places, the fire in the furnace is doused with water at this time, and the bride is not allowed to step on the threshold, which is said to prevent the bride from having a bad temper and dominating others. If the bride steps on the threshold, the rice sieve held above her head is secretly lowered to press the phoenix crown to frighten her to defeat this trick. In some places, on the contrary, a charcoal stove or a handful of straw must be lit to let the bride "step across the fire" and step on the threshold. In some places, when the bride comes to the house, the elders have to stay away temporarily to avoid "conflict". Hakka people have to slaughter a chicken when a bride enters the house, and put several bowls in front of the door for the bride to step over, which is called "door-blocking chicken".

If the bride's birthday horoscope indicates "break her mother's family" or "break her husband's family", the person hosting the wedding will place a intact tile at the gate in advance. When the bride steps in, the tile will be broken. The person immediately said: "It's all broken! It's all broken!" to explain the flaws in the horoscope.

3. Getting married

The wedding ceremony in Zhangzhou generally includes the ancient worship hall and the marriage ceremony. The man should hire an expert to preside over the ceremony, called a "steward".

After the bride enters the door, the steward holds a round bucket in his hand, sings good words and scatters the grains in the bucket while walking, and guides the bride to walk into the hall. The steward sings a salute loudly, and the new couple first worships heaven and earth, then their parents, and then the couple bows to each other to complete the ceremony.

After the visit, under the guidance of the bride-to-be, the groom leads the bride into the bridal chamber with red satin. They both sit on the edge of the bed. At the same time, cannons are fired in the hall and the banquet begins for the guests.

When the bride enters the bridal chamber, the groom’s family will put the leading rooster under the bed, and then sprinkle rice to lure the bride. They will try their best to make the rooster come out first, which is an omen for the bride to give birth to a boy. The leading hen laying eggs within a day or two is also considered a good omen for the bride to give birth and give birth early. The bride-to-be kept singing good words before and after entering the bridal chamber. She taught the groom to use a scale to remove the red or black silk veil from the bride's head, and guided the new couple to eat the 12-course "bridal table" in the bridal chamber. . The bride-to-be first pours the wine into a pair of wine glasses connected by a red thread, and lets the new couple pass the wine glasses to each other and drink the wine together. Then, the mother-in-law has to pick up vegetables for the bride and groom. Every time she eats a dish, she sings an auspicious saying related to the dish. The 12 dishes mean 12 months, and each month will be happy. The "lucky man" lights a pair of red candles in the bridal chamber. Starting from that night, the lights in the bridal chamber must be kept on for 13 consecutive nights.

At the banquet in the hall, the groom's uncle sat at the head of the table, and the groom's father served as the host and toasted to the guests. After three rounds of drinking, the bride and groom will come out to toast, and at the end of the banquet, cannons will be fired to see off the guests until they reach the door. In some places, the bride has to stay in the bridal chamber all the time, and only the groom and parents come forward to toast.

At a Hakka wedding banquet, the bride's uncle or brother sits at the head of the table.

In the Qing Dynasty, Zhangzhou had the custom of watching brides and having wedding ceremonies. "On the day of the first marriage, relatives and friends come in crowds, asking for the bride and teasing the new son-in-law." After the wedding banquet, the new couple sat on the edge of the bed, with the man on the left and the woman on the right, with a boy sitting in the middle. After sitting down for the first time, one or two boys get on the bed and jump and play, which symbolizes that the bride will give birth to a son soon. The bride will distribute candies, peanuts, preserves, etc. to everyone, and everyone will recite auspicious words in the style of ballads while eating. In order to increase the festive and lively atmosphere, anyone is free to joke with the bride. The bride must sit upright and let her relatives and friends watch and laugh, while the bride-to-be takes care of everything. Participants do not need to stick to their seniority and status when having a bridal chamber, so there is a proverb: "There is no big or small thing in the bridal chamber." However, those who are having a bridal chamber are not allowed to stand on the threshold, nor are they allowed to bring umbrellas into the bridal chamber.

After the bridal party has left, the uncle brings in sweet glutinous rice balls, which are called "Gongfangyuan". The bride should give red envelopes as a reward, and then eat the Gongfangyuan together with the groom. In some places, the wedding consummation has to be made by the bride and groom themselves. After the meal and consummation, the bride-to-be leaves, and the new couple can rest.

In some places, the furnishings of the "bridal table" in weddings are similar to the altar tables for the dead, and the straw mats to be laid on the wedding bed are also used for burying the dead. These imply that the two people will grow old together and remain together until death. . The groom's and bride's intimate clothes are made of white cloth, which are washed and treasured three days after the wedding, so that they can be worn next to each other in case of death. This custom is also related to the concepts of chastity and mutual loyalty.

(4) After marriage

After the marriage, the happy event is not considered completed, and you are not allowed to participate in other people's weddings and funerals within 4 months. At the same time, avoid "collision" of happy events within the family. There cannot be two happy events in the family within a year, such as two of the children getting married, or one getting married and having a child. In this case, you must try to add another happy event, which is commonly known as "Three Beats", and there is no taboo. .

In the Qing Dynasty, there was an old custom in Zhangzhou. After the Eighth Day, "On the next day, parents will hold soup cakes. Three days later, they will see each other in the temple. When they see a horse, they are doing women's work." Later, the etiquette and customs after marriage gradually changed.

1. Coming out of the wedding hall

On the second day of the wedding, the bride will leave the bridal chamber when the rooster crows to wash up and prepare to formally participate in the family life of her husband's family.

The bride must first cook four-fruit soup, or brew sweet tea with dried longan or candied golden dates to prepare "worship tea". When all the elders in the house come to the hall, the bride goes to the hall to offer sacrifices to her ancestors and gods. Then she serves sweet tea to the elders and presents the shoes she brought from her parents' home to her parents-in-law. Then the parents-in-law introduce the bride to meet the whole family. Worshiping tea is a legacy of "temple meeting" in ancient times. When the elders accept sweet tea from the bride, they should put red envelopes in the tea tray. As usual, the red envelope money received from worshiping tea belongs to the bride.

After the tea ceremony, the bride is accompanied by her bride-to-be and takes charge of the cooking for the first time. The bride has to cook for the first time to show her skills; in addition, she has to feed pigs, chickens and pound rice to show her diligence. The latter is sometimes just symbolic. The bride only grinds a few rice, scatters a handful of millet, and stirs the swill tank.

Every time the bride does something or an action, the bride-to-be will sing an auspicious saying for this kind of household chores. For example, when the bride stirs the swill tank, she will say: "If you stir the pan (swill), it will float. Feed the pig as big as an ox (bigger than an ox)."

2. Visit the house

On the third day of the wedding, the bride's brother will ride in a sedan chair to visit her brother-in-law's house. This is commonly known as "brother-in-law's house visit", which is a custom left by ancient "?` girls".

Bringing sugar, cakes, powder, tea seed oil for hair, and a basket of flowers or paper pomegranate flowers, the brother-in-law walked straight into the bridal chamber, placed the gifts on the bed, and invited his sister back to her natal home as a guest. The husband's family should hold a grand banquet to entertain the uncle.

3. Guining

After a certain period of time after the wedding, the bride has to "return to her parents' home", which is commonly known as "visiting". The new son-in-law should sometimes accompany him, which is commonly known as "return gift". The bride-to-be also accompanies the bride back home, thus completing her mission.

On the fourth day (seventh day in some places) after the wedding, the bride returns to Ning for the first time, which is commonly known as "being a guest", and Hakka people call it "turning the court". According to the ceremony, the new son-in-law must accompany him and prepare gifts such as incense, candles, salutes, cakes, and pig's feet. If a brother-in-law is traveling with him on the road, the uncle's sedan will go in front and the new couple will follow. If walking, the groom should follow the bride, which is commonly known as "eating while (following) a certain (wife)".

When arriving at her natal home, her parents-in-law came to welcome her. After entering the house, the bride walked into the old boudoir and chatted with the women, while the groom stayed in the hall to receive sweet tea. The father-in-law wants to introduce his son-in-law to meet relatives and friends.

In some places, it is customary for the groom to give red envelopes to his in-laws' relatives. As a rule, at noon, the parents-in-law will entertain the uncle-in-law, and the new son-in-law will sit at the head of the hall in the hall; the bride will sit at the head of the house in the inner room, accompanied by other female family members.

After the banquet is over, the new couple should take a short break before saying goodbye and returning. On the way back, the male sedan should go in front and the female sedan behind. New couples returning to Ning for the first time are not allowed to spend the night at the parents-in-law's house. If they really need to stay overnight due to the long journey home, they are not allowed to share the same bed, otherwise it will be very detrimental to the parents' family.

When a daughter returns to her husband's house as a guest, her mother's family will give her a gift of cloth, sweet glutinous rice with pomegranate branches on it, a pair of sugar cane with roots and leaves tied with red paper, and a pair or a nest of feet tied with red cloth. of chicks. The chicks are put in small bamboo cages and hung in front of the sedan (or car), commonly known as "leading chickens". In some places, a pair of piglets are also given as a gift, which are called "lead pigs". In some places, the natal family will send a brother-in-law to bring a bottle of peanut oil to accompany the bride back to her husband's house; peanut oil is used to light the lamp, which means that she will have a baby as soon as possible.

According to old customs, the bride should return to Ning once 12 days after the wedding and once a month after the wedding, and she must bring gifts back and forth. But the husband-in-law does not have to accompany him anymore, and the bride can stay at her parents' house for a few days. From now on, it will be normal for the bride to return to her parents' home, and there is no need to observe special etiquette.

2. Unconventional marriage customs

(1) Child bride

Zhangzhou is commonly known as "the bride". When poor people sell their daughters to others as brides, they often have to go through an intermediary and write a deed of sale. Some families give away their daughters as brides because they have too many baby girls, but they do not write a deed of sale and do not charge a price.

Poor families cannot afford the bride price and wedding expenses, so they adopt young girls in advance, and when they grow up, they will marry their own sons, which is commonly known as "top pair". At that time, the parents will choose an auspicious day for him to return to his biological parents' home or stay with his relatives and friends, and hold a simple wedding ceremony to marry their son. If you can't afford a wedding, prepare 12 bowls of glutinous rice and sweet dumplings on New Year's Eve and get married together, which is called "Twenty-Nine Elders".

If the head of the family has no sons and adopts a bride at home, and if he gives birth to sons in the future, he will marry them when they grow up, commonly known as "pressed flower branches". If the head of the family has not given birth to a son, he will recruit a man to marry the bride, which is commonly known as "the offspring of the bride."

Wealthy families buy the bride to serve as a maid, and when the bride grows up, she is married off by the owner. , recover the value of your money.

Before the founding of the People's Republic of China, the people's political power in the old revolutionary areas explicitly ordered the abolition of child brides, and that child brides should turn over and marry independently.

The Marriage Law promulgated in the 1950s prohibited the adoption of child brides. However, until the 1970s, there were still child brides in rural areas, some of whom were pretending to be adopted daughters. Due to the implementation of the family planning policy, the custom of adopting child brides naturally disappeared by the 1980s.

(2) Getting married

In the old days, when a man came to the woman’s house to get married, it was called “being recruited” or “hanging a big lamp”. There are several reasons why a woman recruits a husband: the woman has no heirs and needs to recruit a man to continue the family line; the woman's parents love their daughter and cannot bear to marry her off; the woman has land but lacks labor; the widow cannot bear to leave her relatives and recruits a husband to maintain family life, etc.

The man is often recruited because of financial difficulties and cannot afford to marry a wife, so he has to seek refuge with the woman. The son-in-law has a low status in the family, and any son with the wife's surname will be his surname. No man with any ability is willing to join the daughter-in-law's family. Therefore, most of the sons-in-law are not of high quality, and some are lazy in cooking. As the old proverb goes: "What you hire is not a worker, but a husband (husband)."

When marrying a wife, you generally need to "make a letter" (make an agreement), which includes the surnames of the children born after the marriage, The inheritance and distribution of property, etc., are mainly used to regulate the behavior of the in-laws. In addition to the signatures of both parties, the signatures of witnesses are also required.

The wedding of the bride-in-law is very simple. The man gives the woman some rice cakes, cakes and so on, which is considered an engagement. On the day of marriage, a few silver coins are given as a bride price, and a few cakes are given as a meeting gift, and then you can worship in the hall, and after drinking the wedding wine, it is considered the marriage.

After the 1950s, equality in marriage between men and women was advocated, and the concept of inheriting incense gradually weakened. Son-in-laws did not change their surnames, and children born could take the mother's or father's surname. After the implementation of the family planning policy, the number of men moving into a woman's home has gradually increased. Son-in-law is no longer discriminated against, and society has become accustomed to marrying into the family.

(3) Second cousin marriage

Marriage between the children of brothers and the children of sisters was prohibited in the Ming and Qing dynasties. However, the people believe that a second-cousin marriage is a "closer relationship", so it has been banned repeatedly. Mainly aunts and cousins. It is popularly believed that aunts and uncles are too close by blood, which is not conducive to intermarriage. Therefore, there is a saying that "aunts and cousins ??are related to each other by birth".

In the feudal era, intermarriage with the same surname was prohibited, forming the custom of no intermarriage within the Five Servers.

Later, free love was advocated and this practice was broken; but in some places this went too far, and the intermarriage circles in some rural areas became smaller and smaller. The situation of ethnic groups living together in villages is even more serious. The natural villages under the jurisdiction of Hua'an Gaoshi and Yunxiao Wuluo belong to the same surname. Because people marry in front of the house and behind the house, and in the building marry outside the building, the quality of the population becomes increasingly low. This issue has attracted the attention of relevant departments.

(4) Remarriage

In the old days, the inequality of status between men and women was particularly obvious in the old custom of remarriage. It is natural for men to remarry after being widowed, but for women to remarry after being widowed (commonly known as "post-marriage") will suffer social discrimination. If a man wants to remarry after his wife is buried, he will hold an umbrella and carry the baggage on his shoulders as if he is going on a long journey before burying his wife. He will jump over the coffin of his deceased wife and say "jump over the coffin and go to Nanyang" or "jump over the coffin." "I've been there" or "I want to go back to Tangshan" (returning from Nanyang), and then jump over a fire. It is believed that if this is the case, the ghost of the deceased wife will not come to cause trouble. As the saying goes, "If you jump into a coffin and pass the test, it will be fine if you jump into the fire."

If a woman loses her husband, it is still customary to remain a widow for life. If she wants to remarry, she must obtain the consent of her original husband's family. The new husband's family must meet the requirements of the original husband's family and write a marriage contract. The widow should return to her natal family first before remarrying. Before leaving, she should turn over her deceased husband's spiritual tablet or cover it with a cloth to prevent ghosts from causing trouble. Widows are married at night, entering and exiting through the back door, and no wedding is held. Neighbors also closed their doors to avoid incurring bad luck. A widow who remarries must jump through the fire at a crossroads and burn her substitute (straw man).

With the progress of the times, widowhood and remarriage have gained social understanding and respect, and are also allowed by law. The bad customs of coffin jumping and burning of body doubles have also disappeared on their own.

(5) Filial Marriage

After a man and a woman are engaged, if the immediate elder of either party dies, the engaged younger generation can get married before he or she is dying or just after he or she has passed away. It can be simplified, funerals and happy events are held at the same time, which is the so-called "keeping your feet and tail straight (breathing out) to avoid looking for a day". This move is to add an "adult" descendant to the funeral procession, to show the deceased's "good fortune" and to make the funeral grand. If a filial piety marriage is not possible, the wedding must be postponed until after three years of filial piety.

Nowadays, the three-year mourning period is no longer emphasized, so no one holds filial marriages anymore.

(6) Ghost marriage

Also known as "shadow marriage", it is a distorted form of marriage under the patriarchal system of feudal society. During the Republic of China, such absurd ghost marriages often occurred in Zhangzhou.

After the man dies after the marriage ceremony, if the woman is determined to be a widow, she can stay in her parents' family and never marry, which is called a "widow". There are also women who are "widowed in the palace" or "passing the door to keep the festival", that is, after the death of their fiancé, the woman still visits the house. The deceased's sisters hold the deceased's sacred tablet (wooden master), and the fiancée goes to the church to "get married", and then goes to the cemetery to meet the ghost husband. . After that, the woman will stay in her husband's family as a widow, and her husband's family will adopt a boy from the clan for her, and he will be her heir.

A woman who marries a ghost girl dies before she gets married. Her brother or nephew looks for young people on the road and lures them with money to agree to marry a ghost girl. After agreeing on the conditions, the bride was betrothed and married according to ancient rites. However, the bride was made of paper. Afterwards, the paper figurine was burned, and the two families treated each other as in-laws.

After the death of an unmarried child who died in a joint marriage, the parents look for a family with a deceased child of the opposite sex. If the two families reach an agreement, they will let the unmarried man and woman get married and choose an auspicious day to hold it. wedding". The woman's coffin is opened and carried to the man's grave, along with the dowry and dowry tied with paper. The coffin is then opened and lifted, and a new house is arranged with paper bed tents and other items. Finally, the men's and women's coffins are buried side by side. Relatives and friends of both parties sent ghost books as congratulations, and parents of both parties hosted a banquet. From then on, the two families combined the ghost couple's incense into one place, and maintained long-term contact with each other as in-laws.

Now with the advancement of civilization, all types of ghost marriages can no longer help themselves.

(7) Keeping concubines

In the old days, many rich families had concubines, which was commonly known as "taking concubines". The concubine's status is slightly higher than that of the maidservant, and the concubine's parents are not treated as parents-in-law. The most common way to keep a concubine is to take the wife's dowry maid as a side wife, commonly known as "barefoot"; but this does not change her status as a concubine, and even the children of the concubine are only Call her the "Barefoot Mother."

There are also people who spend money to buy a daughter from a poor family as a concubine, commonly known as "buying a sister An"; there are also women who marry women from theater troupes, brothels or other social classes as concubines. Marrying a concubine can only be carried out in a small sedan chair carried by two people, and most of them do not hold a wedding. Some people hold a very extravagant wedding, but in any case it cannot be more grand than the ceremony of marrying a wife.

In the 1950s, concubinage was prohibited, and some concubines of landlords and rich farmers petitioned the government for divorce and all were approved.

In the late 1970s, the phenomenon of polygamy was basically eliminated. Since the mid-1980s, with the development of the economy, some wealthy people have kept private outhouses, commonly known as "raising a woman" (raising a woman), and concubines in disguise have reappeared.

3. Marriage Customs of Boat Households

Boat households do not intermarry with land residents, and those with the same surname do not marry. If there is a girl to be married on the ship, a pot of jasmine flowers should be placed on the bow deck. Boat households do not charge bridewealth for marrying off their daughters, and even if they do collect some money, it will all be used for dowry. The newlywed bride does not sit in a sedan chair, but can pass through the door by placing the two boats on the gangplank after they are close together. But the wedding ceremony is still very grand. Worshiping heaven and earth, worshiping ancestors and gods, worshiping the kitchen god, and drinking wedding wine are all the same as those on land. The boat owners are nomadic, and there is no custom of visiting relatives and friends during the New Year.