1. If you don’t have medical insurance or life insurance, don’t act bravely after dark.

2. The whole school had no water supply for two days. The next day I found that I didn’t recognize many girls in the class.

3. Give me a boatload of women, and I will make myself exhausted!

4. Since I got together with you, all my goldfish have died. They say you smell like cat.

5. Coaxing and coddling your own daughter-in-law without embarrassment is called love.

6. Put your mobile phone in front of the bed, probably because you are afraid of running out of battery. Look up to read messages, lower your head to write love poems!

7. I want to sleep when I’m in class, I want to eat when I’m sleeping, and I want to read when I’m eating. Alas, I am anxious for you!

8. If you score higher than me, you are not necessarily a top student; if you score lower than me, you are a scumbag!

9. I am very possessive, don’t touch my things, or I will fight you hard.

10. What is unity? Just let go of the class together during the tug-of-war! Damn, this is called unity! !

11. If I had to do it again, I would do my best to protect your original beauty.

12. When I look at you stupidly, are you also looking at me stupidly?

13. The school is not a funeral home, so why are you checking the remains? What kind of filial piety clothes and trousers are you wearing?

14. The academic masters are almost done, so don’t learn too much and be separated from the masses.

15. I fell in love with you unconsciously, hugged you, caressed you, and pulled you all my life. Is the love deep enough?

16. Mao Zedong said that those who do not marry for the purpose of dating are all hooligans.

17. I didn’t like you the first time I met you, but who knew that the more I looked at you, the more I disliked you.

18. Elementary school tuition fees are mouthful, junior high school tuition fees are pen, high school tuition fees are brain, and university tuition fees are flow.

19. It is said that the tears you shed are the water in your brain.

20. I have searched for her thousands of times, and when my feet are flat, I suddenly look back and look around, there are countless aunts and ladies.

21. Teachers of various subjects really feel that they teach well even though they don’t show their skills in the monthly exams.

22. There are two situations when listening to music: looping a single until you get tired of it, and playing various cuts randomly.

23. Is your coffin a flip-top or a sliding-top?

24. Every time there is a school cleaning, the teacher will say: The school is your home, but when you are late, the teacher says: Why are you always late? You think the school is your home!

25. I am a very simple person. As long as you take me seriously. Your business is my business.

26. If you care too much about someone, your mood will often be affected, leaving only heartache.

27. In the next life, you will be your enemy’s wife and spend all his money to get revenge on him.

28. It’s been a long time since I was a bitch, bitch. I heard that you have become a bitch in one?

29. I picked up a mouse pad yesterday and want to equip it with a computer. What do you think is missing?

30. In fact, confessing is not necessarily a good thing, because it looks shady.

31. I don’t agree with your point of view, but I will defend to the death your right not to speak.

32. Have you ever felt sorry for my persistence for a moment?

33. Among the familiar people, I can only turn a blind eye to you, but in my heart, you are the whole field of vision. You are my biggest secret, the sweetness and pain that cannot be shared with others.

34. If one day you are old and have no teeth, I will still kiss your toothless gums.

35. Comparison of the anti-freeze issues between northerners and southerners can be summarized as follows: southerners have higher anti-freeze character attributes, while northerners have higher anti-freeze equipment levels.

36. Since you appeared, I realized how beautiful it is to be loved.

37. The ringtone for the end of get out of class is more pleasant than the national anthem, and the ringtone for class is more depressing than anxiety.

38. The worst thing in the world is for a foodie to have stomach problems.

39. Tell your male compatriots that the secret to not having to wash the dishes is to deliberately break the dishes every time your wife asks you to wash the dishes. If your wife feels sorry for the things, she will not let you wash the dishes. This is my kneeling. Experience summed up on the washboard!

40. Every time you change your personal signature, I will think about it many times, even though it is clear that you are not talking about me.

41. Xianhui, as the name suggests, can do nothing even if he is idle at home!

42. The boys that girls like are the kind who are serious with a little bit of irregularity, but this irregularity does not delay the seriousness.

43. What does it mean to be brave? Is crying for you to love me? Or watch you leave with a smile?

44. I also want to be an elegant lady, but life has forced me to become a shrew.

45. I remember it was a cold winter. I didn’t want to get up to go to school in the morning, so I asked my classmates in the dormitory to ask for leave and just give me a reason. The next day, the news of my heat stroke spread throughout the school!

46. There was a bean that fell down. It was discouraged and depressed. This bean is me, what can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called Pig Encouragement Bean.

47. Whether we are at the unknown end of the sky or the corner of the sea, I hope that one day when I grow old and lose my teeth, you will be the one holding hands with me to watch the sunset and watch the clouds roll.

48. I have grown my hair and my worries. Don't think that I am not a monk because I have long hair. In fact, I have been thinking about the master in the Taoist priest's arms.

49. Don’t hang yourself from a tree. Try hanging from several nearby trees.

50. As the saying goes, if you freeze something three feet deep, it cannot be thawed without a microwave oven!

51. You should also follow Tencent’s example and call me “honey” as soon as Tencent comes online.

52. Are you pure? There would be no more stinky ditches in the world, and they would all be like stinky ditches.

53. Chinese language can increase literary knowledge! Can communicate with foreigners in English! History keeps you from betraying! Geography keeps you from getting lost! Politics lets you know how to protect your rights! Mathematics ruins the whole life: when you go to the Yellow Crane Tower, you have to calculate how far away the boats in the Yangtze River are from you!

54. My ex got married again today. I wish him happiness every year and happiness every year.

55. My wife was caught using counterfeit money. It was all my fault. In order to show off my photo editing skills, I removed the watermark from my family’s money.

56. People say that making friends with beautiful people will make you look better. No wonder you find that your friends around you are getting better and better looking.

57. Next time a man scolds you for having thick legs, just reply that your legs are thin, and all three of your legs are thin.

58. Every moment seems clear and precious. Only you can give me this feeling. No matter how tired my heart is or how far my dream is, it doesn’t matter if you are with me!

59. Don’t be depressed anymore, kid, you have to be as lively and cheerful as a psycho!

60. During the Chinese test, I always felt that I was British. During the English test, I felt that I was Chinese. During the math test, I found that I was an alien.

61. Yes, the cheating in this exam was very successful, and it can have a perfect ending.

62. When I pass you by, you don’t know it’s me because I turn my head away.

63. Girls say that I am a good person, but love does not seek me out; girls say that he is bad, and they rush to love him; girls are so weird now, saying that he is bad is love; you say it is strange Not surprising, should I learn to be bad?

64. You are gold and I am coal. You will shine and I will generate heat. Don't make me angry, or I'll melt you.

65. Last year, even monks were speculating in stocks. This year, those speculating in stocks have become monks.

66. Stop losing weight. You are ugly not just because you are fat.

67. Wait until we have money. I want to buy two lollipops. You watch me eat one, and I eat one to show you.

68. It’s useless for me to think that others can’t find me if I am invisible. A woman as popular as me shines like a firefly in the dark no matter where she is.

69. I can’t see what’s wrong with being ugly. It’s you who are disgusting.

70. Never quarrel with your parents, because you will only get scolded when you fail to win, and beaten when you win.

71. My ears are not trash cans. Don’t throw anything here.

72. If you take a step back from work, the sky will be brighter. If you take a step back from love, the sky will be empty.

73. In front of a beautiful woman: if there is danger, you must save her; if there is no danger, you must save her even if there is danger.

74. The judge asked: Why did you print counterfeit money? The criminal said: Because I can’t print real money.

75. Why are you smiling at me, why are you making me happy, why are you protecting me? Do you know that my thoughts have been taken away by you? Do you know that you are very bad.

76. How can we say you are out of your mind? The premise is that you also have to have a brain.

77. In today's reversed era, men play pretty and women play handsome. Rich people but no money dig into their pockets, and they do not play innocent games but play perverts. qq funny personalized signature

1. The sun is warm and the years are quiet. How can I dare to grow old if you don’t come?

2. I was also an infatuated person, but it rained and I drowned.

3. Waking up is one thing, getting up is another.

4. Looking back, that man is already the child’s father.

5. My outlook on life is from Red Bull to Wong Lo Kat.

6. If I hadn’t persuaded myself, I would have fallen out with the world long ago.

7. Many things are somewhere between not being aggrieved and being hypocritical.

8. As long as the heart is willing to climb, there is no height that cannot be reached.

9. See yourself clearly through great ups and downs, and see your friends clearly through great ups and downs.

10. It’s noon on hoeing day, so class is really hard. A small shabby book that can last all morning.

11. A hero does not mention his bravery in the past, but only stands for his brothers in this life.

12. Smart women deal with men, and stupid women deal with women.

13. Don’t think that just because you are a dog, you can bite people without a strong owner.

14. There are too many things on my mind that I can’t find suitable words to express. Please forgive me for being speechless.

15. I am not too stupid, but I believe in someone too easily.

16. Today’s world is either tolerant or cruel.

17. They say that we are the flowers of the motherland. Why is it that I am the only one who is injured?

18. Instead of planting grass for people to lie on, why not plant cactus instead!

19. If you walk too coquettishly, you will fall; if you walk too hard, you will lose your back.

20. If you don’t have medical insurance or life insurance, don’t act bravely after dark.

21. When I am done being childish, I will no longer embarrass you.

22. I spend every day except eating time to lose weight, and you still say that I have no perseverance.

23. I am not RMB, how can I make everyone like me? !

24. People cannot take money into the grave, but money can take people into the grave.

25. The world belongs to us and our sons, but ultimately it belongs to the grandchildren.

26. There is a kind of happiness called vacation, and there is a kind of perseverance called school.

27. If you have a good psychological quality, it’s like you have no psychological quality.

28. Make decisions with a pat on your head, make promises with a pat on your chest, and leave with a pat on the back.

29. The principle of Chinese holidays is that what is owed must always be paid back.

30. I once thought you were oxygen, but it turned out to be just a farce.

31. Don’t just say you are Chinese when you take a foreign language exam.

32. Losing me will not hurt you.

33. I can’t afford to sleep for a long time in the morning; I feel like sleeping at night!

34. If you look at me, I can gouge your eyes out. After all, dogs look down on people!

35. Recently I heard that you have a sugar daddy and you have accepted Erlangshen as your master.

36. You have a heart to lose weight, but you have a mouth of a foodie.

37. You exist in my aunt’s mind, and you are not afraid that my uncle will strangle you to death in the middle of the night.

38. There is always someone who will teach you a lesson and let you know who you are.

39. I am smiling at the sky with my sword across my face, and the sky says, handsome sister, please stop making trouble.

40. It’s okay to scold you at ordinary times. Only when I beat you will you know that I am both civil and military.

41. The trees become quieter but the wind does not stop, the more I fall in love but he is not here.

42. The tortoise can beat the hare, but in fact they just go their own ways.

43. Your life is like a tic-tac-toe. When you look at it horizontally or vertically, it’s always two.

44. Life doesn’t matter how long it is, but I want to live a brilliant life, eat it all, use it up, and be healthy!

45. If you are in military training, it will be a sunny day; if you are on vacation, you will have a lot of homework.

46. Please allow me to let the dust settle and bury the past with silence.

47. Next time, I will give the TV station a suggestion and prohibit TV dramas from being inserted during advertisements.

48. I have always been shameless, and I will continue to be shameless to the end.

49. The eyes are the windows to the soul, and the bags under the eyes are the window sill of the soul.

50. Think about the salary comparison, forget it, I don’t want to live anymore.

51. You used to be my heaven and earth, but now you have been replaced in all directions.

52. Hold the child’s hand and drag the child away. If the son says not to leave, fine, close the door and let the dogs out!

53. I wish I could block Tencent messages, at least it would not make me happy in vain.

54. The most beautiful thing in the world is not that I love you, but that your tumor is benign!

55. The more people I know, the more I like animals.

56. Bajie, don’t think that you are a night pig standing under the street lamp.

57. If we have a threesome together, I will get wet! Confucius was the first to call the beast!

58. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is easier to get along in kindergarten!

59. Don’t pretend to be cool with me, it’s more than ten degrees below zero!

60. Give you two choices, do you like me or do you like me? .

61. The society is stylish, but my sister is not your partner.

62. The so-called meeting with a master in chess is the scene of the mistress and the real one, which is a very harmonious scene.

63. Chinese Valentine’s Day has finally passed, and I can finally get up. A single man can’t afford to be hurt!

64. I want to be a little monster, because Ultraman can’t beat me.

65. As far as your thoughts go, get away from me!

66. I finally know why you suddenly became patriotic, because what you love is not the country, but the holidays.

67. The most painful thing when scolding is when others use your words to scold you back, and the weight will increase a lot.

68. The teacher said that the class is our home, so I want to tell the teacher that you are not welcome in our home.

69. Journey to the West tells us: All monsters with a backing were picked up, and all monsters without a backing were beaten to death with a stick.

70. Gold always shines, but when the ground is full of gold, I don’t know which one I am.

71. The reason why I smoke is very simple: my grandfather smokes and my father smokes too, so I can’t stop smoking when it’s my turn.

72. If you have a fever at home, you will still surf the Internet. If you sneeze at school, you will think it is late-stage cancer.

73. Why is Friday so close to Monday, but Monday so far from Friday? This is unscientific!

74. The most clearly heard sentence in today’s level 4 listening test: Now please ask the invigilator to take out the tape and turn to side B to continue listening.

75. People who have never stood still and waited will not understand what it feels like to stand for a long time and be unable to bend their legs.

76. If you are destined not to give me the response I expect. Then stay at a safe distance!

77. A little girl once said to me upstairs: Brother, you are so handsome! I immediately replied: It doesn’t matter whether you are handsome or not.

78. As long as you take half a step towards me, I will happily run towards you for the remaining ninety-nine and a half steps.

79. When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me.

80. There is a kind of fill-in-the-blank question called "Nothing at all"; there is a kind of multiple-choice question called "Everything looks right"; there is a kind of writing question called "It makes me cry without tears".