Tang Priest: I am Gao! Are you mistaken? All ~ ~ ~ pussy? !
The Monkey King: I said, can you be gentle? What's with the big eyes Just say you, look at you, I know you are illiterate and say you are a Buddha.
Undergraduate course.
Tang Priest: What's wrong? Buddhists can't swear. I tell you, our intellectuals are not interested in swearing and expressing their feelings?
Friar Sand: Master, this is where you are wrong. . . . . .
Tang Priest: Stop! Third, I'm not talking about you. Of the three of you, you are the only one who talks the most, and you are the only one. . . No, it's a bunch.
Flies fly around people. . . . . . Otherwise, why don't I let Bajie carry the burden? With such a heavy burden, there is still so much to say. Do you want to give it to me?
You are alone! ?
Friar Sand: $ # @% $
Pig Bajie: Yes, Master, you always have a good eye.
Tang Priest: Or Bajie is my bosom friend.
Pig Bajie: My admiration for you is like a raging river and a runaway Yellow River. . . . . . But master, you used words this time.
We should use a new word.
Tang Priest: What do you mean you don't need "pussy"?
The Monkey King, Pig Bajie and Friar Sand said in unison: Hmm!
Tang Priest: I am Gao! Who are you three peeking at me chatting online again?
Pig eight quit: old pig I yesterday. . . . . . It's been a long night and I don't want to sleep. I blinked at the moon and accidentally saw Master drooling and tapping the keyboard with Guanyin.
Sister. . . . . .
Tang Sanzang: Bajie, I think you must be very tired after leaving these days. Tell you the truth, you can ride this horse in the future, and you will get an extra share after midnight snack.
Bai: No, I was tired when I carried you. Now you want me to take this dead fat pig with me. . . . . . Be careful, I'll sue you for cruelty to animals to the Society for the Protection of Animals!
After all, I am also the third prince of the East China Sea Dragon King!
Tang Priest: Well, let Friar Sand carry you.
Friar Sand: Why me again! ! ! !
Tang Priest: Not you, but Wukong. Otherwise, you can fight him.
Friar Sand: Alas, am I not unlucky?
Tang Priest: By the way, Bajie, what do you see me doing with Sister Guanyin?
Pig Bajie: I saw you and Guanyin's sister studying Buddhism wholeheartedly, which really moved my disciples!
The Monkey King and Friar Sand are vomiting.
Just then, an old lady with a red hoop suddenly jumped out of the roadside.
Old lady: What are you doing? Think of this as your public toilet. Do you know that you are so big everywhere? . . No, spitting will pollute the environment? Come on, everyone will be punished.
Five ounces of silver!
The Monkey King and Friar Sand: Are you wrong?
Old lady: No mistake ~ ~ ~ ~!
Friar Sand took out fifty taels of silver from his purse: Auntie, this is my hard-earned money for three months. You can always save some money.
Old lady: What, you call me aunt. I'm telling you, Beard, I'm not old.
The Monkey King: So, Auntie. . . . . .
Old lady: Actually, I'm Leslie Cheung!
Pig Bajie: Brother, you didn't mean to play with us, did you? Just you? .
The Monkey King: Is anyone singing? !
[Singing: The dream of life is like a long road. Let the wind and frost stay in the red dust on your face. . . . . 〕
The four teachers and disciples said with one voice: Leslie Cheung?
Tang Sanzang took out a piece of paper and a pen: Brother Rong, can you sign it for me?
Friar Sand: And me. . . . . .
Leslie Cheung took a look at the Tang Priest: Just you, you don't take pictures, and you have to sign like the bald Luo Jiaying? And you two, bearded faces, think you are sexy.
How do you feel? One wears a pig's head and thinks he is a pig. If you want to sign, go and play!
The Monkey King came to please: Brother Rong, are you going to sing in your daughter's country? Don't put up an advertisement or something? We are all your fans, so come early to join us.
Your field.
Leslie Cheung: Who will sing?
The Monkey King: Then how do you get there? . . . . .
Leslie Cheung: Don't you understand?
Mentor: What?
Leslie Cheung Jiao Jiao turned around: Am I also a MM?
Tang Priest and Pig Bajie both fainted to the ground, and the Monkey King and Friar Sand wanted to vomit again. Suddenly, they saw Anita Mui staring at them with small eyes, so they had to try their best to hold back.
Leslie Cheung: Hum. . . Don't understand the amorous feelings!
Friar Sand finally couldn't help it and spat it out again.
Leslie Cheung: You. . . . . .
Friar Sand: I understand! Wait a minute! Give me some time. I will vomit and vomit, and I will get used to it. . . . . . Wow. . . . . .
Leslie Cheung: This time, you have to pay 10!
Friar Sand: Why? Ouch. . . . . .
Leslie Cheung: If you throw up again, it will be 15.
Friar Sand had to hold back desperately, but he didn't have that much money on him, so he turned to Tang Sanzang: Master, can you lend me some money to support him first?
Tang Priest: Kao! Borrow again? Last time you lent me 225.3 copper coins, you haven't paid it back yet! No way!
Friar Sand had no choice but to turn to the Monkey King: Big Brother. . . . . .
The Monkey King: Me. . . . . . I am still in debt. Last time I went back to the Spring Garden for free, you all peed, leaving me alone. I was beaten like a monkey.
For example. . . . . .
Pig Bajie: Are you a monkey?
The Monkey King: Yes. . . . . . Huh? !
Pig Bajie: Brother Sha, they won't lend it to you, but I will lend it to you. Who told you to go to the west behind my back in the future? Come on, this is 10 beam!
Friar Sand looked at Pig Bajie with tears in his eyes: Hero!
Pig Bajie: But. . . . . . You have to give me a written evidence. If you don't return it this month, it will become 12 next month. It's called nailing. . . If there is no next month,
Also, you have to return me 18 beam, which is called nailing. If you don't pay me back, you'll have to nail it to the board again, and you'll get 30 taels. . . . . .
Friar Sand: I am Gao! Aren't you a loan shark? Why didn't I listen to you when I lent it to the master elder brother last time?
Pig Bajie: I am a little higher than him in terms of wisdom, but he is a little higher than me in terms of martial arts. As for my wisdom and martial arts, I am better than you.
It's a little high. I don't bully you. Who do I bully?
Friar Sand: Kao!
Pig Bajie: Copying what? Do you want it?
Friar Sand tearfully took 10 and gave it to Leslie Cheung. He cried sadly, "God is jealous of talents! It's huge. . . Well, you always see that I sell iron in a big pot, so you can always
Can't you give me a discount?
Leslie Cheung: Look at you, poor thing. Forget it, I'll charge you two coppers less this time!
When Leslie Cheung found two copper coins, the Tang Priest made a sign "Pa!" Say: Go!
The four men walked on, asking MM about the residence of the king of the daughter country on the roadside. So I was hungry all the way.
Pig took out three steamed buns from his pocket and ate them while humming: Eat. . . Fortunately, there were three steamed buns left yesterday. Master, I'll give you one.
Tang Priest: Speaking of eating ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~. . . . . .
Pig Bajie: I'm very excited, aren't I?
Tang Priest: Pig Bajie still loves me!
Pig Bajie: That's right. teacher for a day, father for a lifetime.
Friar Sand looked at it, felt in his pocket, and then looked at the Monkey King. Seeing him, he was generally helpless: second brother, can you? . . . . .
Pig Bajie: Impossible!
The Monkey King: Is there anything for me?
Pig Bajie: Do you want it? Don't you just want to be clear? I'll give it to you if you want it. Of course I won't give it to you if you want it! No Do you want me to go?
Here you are. You said you didn't want it, but I insisted on giving it to you. Be reasonable! Now, on the count of three, you must make it clear whether you want to. ...
The Monkey King: I am Gao! Stop pushing me!
Friar Sand: Yes, forget it if you don't give it to me, even if it's big brother? You are too ~ ~ ~ too much!
Pig Bajie looked at the Monkey King with some fear: What if I don't give it? Are you going to pretend that I eat tigers?
The Monkey King: Hum. . . . . . You forced me. Come on, Shage. . . . . .
Friar Sand took out a rolling pin: Roger that!
Pig was too scared to look, and suddenly he heard "Mao ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Mao ~ ~ ~"
Friar Sand: Take a look, take a look. It is said that you depend on your parents when you go out and your friends at home. You folks, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts are all here, and everyone is rich.
People who have no money in the money field hold personal fields. My brother is new here and can do nothing. Come on, big brother, do a somersault for everyone!
"Mao ~ ~ ~ ~ Mao ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~"
Bajie and Tang Priest suddenly fainted to the ground. . . . . . .
The Monkey King: Ha. . . . . . Yes, the income today is good. Come on, Brother Sha, I'll give you this 12 silver and give it back to the pig. You can still leave two taels! Let's go Both of us/We both
Go and rub it.
Friar Sand: Thank you, Senior Brother! . . . . . . I wonder why you are so generous today.
The Monkey King: To tell you the truth, can you lend me your Bible?
Friar Sand: Brother, this is not good. We believe in Buddhism.
The Monkey King: Hey, hasn't Jesus become more popular recently?
Friar Sand: Do you want it? Don't you just want to be clear? Do you want to ...
The Monkey King knocked Friar Sand down with one punch: Come again! ? I won't be angry if you don't talk to me. You treat me like a sick monkey, and I'll tell you I quit.
When you were a child!
Friar Sand's eyes are red: Why did you hit me? It's not that I won't give it to you. If you want it, I will definitely give it to you. Let's be reasonable . . . .
The Monkey King: Stop! Come back. . . . . . I plug in the power. . . . . . I'll insert it again. . . . . .
The Monkey King knelt down with red eyes: Master. . . . . . Hero! Please take this gold ring to him. I can't stand him any longer. . . . Ah. . . .
Tang Sanzang: I wanted to give it to him. Alas, the size of the diamond ring is too poor. The front is heavy and the back is light, and the left is wide and the right is narrow. He felt uncomfortable after wearing it and couldn't sleep all night.
Pull me down! Speaking of diamond rings, I met a blacksmith in Chenjiacun last year. He is exquisite in workmanship and reasonable in price. He is innocent. He just let me off.
Customize another one next time!
Maid-in-waiting: How many monks are Oriental?
Tang Priest: I am a poor monk.
Maid-in-waiting: Please follow me. Please welcome the king.
The four men finally came to the palace of the girl country.
Tang Priest: Kao! It's really ostentatious. You see, the decoration design here must have used 3DMAX and PHOTOSHOP, which is so cool!
Pig Bajie: Yes, this place is really great, more luxurious than Angao Laozi and Zhuangzi!
The Monkey King: You said you were a pig, but you are really a pig. This is the palace. If you work hard, you can become a rich farmer. You still think you are Li Shimin and others.
Family relatives? Toudou！
Friar Sand: Brother, don't be as knowledgeable as he is. Look at him. How can a pig's head and brain be as smart as your monkey?
The Monkey King: Yes! . . . . . .
Daughter Wang: Are you the masters who traveled to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures in the Tang Dynasty?
Pig Bajie whispered to Tang Priest: I am Kao Hua! This MM is really beautiful. (Close-up of drooling)
Tang Priest: Yes, look at her angel face and devil figure. She wants Mimi and Mimi, PP and PP, the big place is big, the small place is small, the convex place is convex and the concave place is concave.
Square concave. . . . . . Sure enough. . . . . . (nosebleeds drop by drop)
The Monkey King slapped a nosebleed: I am Kao! I hate foreign girls. . . . . .
Friar Sand has a bloody nose: I feel fine. . . . . .
Pig Bajie: I am Kao Hua! She's picking her nose! Look at that. . . . . . She held out her delicate hand and pointed it out to me. . . Ah, sorry. It's the little finger. Dig gently.
Dig. . . . . .
Daughter Wang: OK ~ ~ ~ Cool!
The Monkey King: Wow ~ ~ ~ ~, what a big lump!
Friar Sand: Alas ~ ~ ~ I didn't expect her nose-picking posture to be so beautiful! Yeah ~ ~ ~ I like it! I decided to love you for ten thousand years!
Attendant: How bold! How dare you make trouble with our king!
The Monkey King: Poor little MM! The so-called "My Fair Lady, My Gentleman", that is, "The foot of the bed is so bright, will it have frost? Looking up, I found it was moonlight, lowering my head and thinking of my aunts. "
Mother. " . . . . . Good poem, good poem. . . . . .
Daughter Wang: Ah, I didn't expect Master to be so talented. It really surprised my little daughter. . . . . . To tell you the truth, my little daughter has been in her daughter's country for 23 years.
~ ~ ~ ten ~ ~ three years! I'm sorry I was rude. . . . . . I've always wanted to find a husband, but there are all women here, and here comes one.
Leslie Cheung, I didn't realize it was a cup. So, I want to choose one from you. . . . . .
The Monkey King: Master, I was crushed to death by Wuzhishan. Fortunately, I was saved by the master. I should have escorted Master to the Western Heaven wholeheartedly, but I made trouble in the Heavenly Palace, scolded Tathagata and decided to go.
I went to the Western Heaven, and the Tathagata will definitely embarrass me. It's only a matter of time before I get fired. I might as well stay here. . . Friar Sand said, "Master, Wujing was originally a big rolling gate.
Yes, after all, it's an undergraduate course, and it's no problem to work in the West. But now it's popular to do business in the sea. I stayed in Liushahe for several years and learned to raise fish.
My motherland is rich in water resources. I want to build a fish farm in Zimu River to help my daughter country get rid of poverty as soon as possible, which is also the call of the corresponding countries! "
Pig Bajie: Master, although the old pig is incompetent, he is willing to escort Master westward. . . However, carrying water for cooking, fertilizing and ploughing every day, such a heavy job, must be put on this one.
With a weak shoulder, master, can you bear it? Is it true that monks pay attention to compassion? Although you can become a Buddha in the Western Heaven, you have a house.
Child points, but as long as you can share the worries for these poor women, what is this? If I don't go to hell, who will! ! ! Let me stay!
The Monkey King knocked Pig Bajie down with one punch: Go away and knock out a bug from the melon seeds. Who are you?
Friar Sand: Yes, don't you have a Gao Xiuying in Gaolaozhuang? Besides, isn't there Chang 'e on the moon?
Pig Bajie (grievance): The relationship is broken!
The Tang Priest sighed: Alas. . . . . . Disciples, you are so disappointing. A man like you, although he looks a little worse, at least you are still
There are some skills, really! . . . . . . A big husband has no wife, and there are plenty of fish in the sea. . . . . . however
Your master ~ ~ ~ ~ me. . . . . . This time, you will help me this time. . . . . .
Master and apprentice are arguing endlessly. . . . . .
Attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, don't argue. How's this? Why don't you show your skills and get married today!
Mentor: Good! . . . . . .
Attendant: For the sake of fairness, we specially invited a guest to be the referee today. He is ~ ~ ~ ~ People in the Jianghu call him "everyone loves him, and he is fascinated to death."
People don't pay for their lives, "Leslie Cheung!
Leslie Cheung: Thank you very much for your support. First of all, I want to thank His Majesty the King, my family and everyone present, and then I want to thank Yi.
Mr. Tang, who supports me behind my back. . . . . . Honey. I love you, yeah, yeah, yeah! The Monkey King: Are you wrong? you
I'm here to be the referee. Do you think I'm here to receive the prize? Anita Mui; Sorry, sorry. The reason why I want to talk about this is entirely because
Because. . . . . . Actually, I'm an actor. . . . . . Countless tomatoes and rotten eggs were thrown over. . . . . . Leslie Cheung: OK, the events are as follows.
Everyone listened attentively.
Leslie Cheung: For the enjoyment and entertainment of the competition and the principle of fair competition, we directly adopt the elimination system. Ok, the game is on ~ ~ ~ ~!
The words sound just fell and a burst of smoke suddenly appeared in the hall.
The Monkey King danced [jokes in shaolin soccer] and sang "Look at my seventy-two changes".
The Monkey King: "I can change seventy-two, ride a somersault cloud, disturb the heavenly palace and fight the Tathagata. Strong body, never drink Huiren Shenbao. You follow me to somersault cloud to Europe and America.
You don't have to buy a plane ticket to travel in China, and even save your passport! Hey, hey, hey, are you tempted? "
King of Daughter Country: "Can you surf the Internet?"
The Monkey King: "Online!" I fell on a spider web in the silk hole, and I smashed it with two sticks, haha! "
King of Daughter Country: "Next!"
The Monkey King: "I am a national champion in boxing, cudgel and Sanda, and I have a double master's degree in raising horses and cultivating peaches. . . "
King of Daughter Country: "Next!"
Leslie Cheung: All right, the first contestant quit. Now, next!
Friar Sand: Watch me!
People: Wow ~ ~ ~ Tang Bohu!
Friar Sand held a folding fan in his hand and said, Others laugh at me for being crazy, but I laugh at others for not being able to see through. I didn't see the tomb of the Wulin hero. I plowed without flowers and fruits.
Daughter Kim: What's wrong with playing Tang Bohu? You have completely shaved your beard and don't want to become a monk. What kind of champion do you want to be?
Friar Sand: I've thought about it. . . . . .
Daughter Wang: I miss you. If you don't do it, you want to be the champion. I tell you, do your promising monk work!
Friar Sand: Oh, I see. . . . . . (Running off the stage)
Tang Priest: Only you. . . . . .
King of the daughter country: "Oh, you are so old! Your mouth is full of English, but I can't understand a word. Next! "
Leslie Cheung: Then the Tang Priest is gone. Who will be next? Please ~ ~ ~ ~ Look, the next one is ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pig Bajie (walking slowly to the center of the hall, his face full of vicissitudes, suddenly singing Superstar)
Suddenly screaming all over the house. The queen brightened at the moment and was about to speak. . .
Pig eight quit: "up to now, I don't hide it. I am the CEO of Bajie. The company will be listed in the United States in three months. . 。"
Leslie Cheung: OK, you are singing. It's time to continue. Ladies and gentlemen, the materials and skills of the four contestants have been displayed. Now, let's give the warmest applause.
Please welcome four contestants. . . . . . (Four apprentices take the stage)
Leslie Cheung: Everyone says, who is the best performer?
(In the end, Pig Bajie won)
Pig eight quit to pull the queen's hand. . . .
The Monkey King: "Bajie, originally everyone wanted to turn the truth into a positive result, but I didn't expect you to be a lecherous. . . . . I'm so disappointed in you. . . . . "
Pig Bajie: "Come on, come on, you think I want to come. I didn't want to come when I was in Gaolaozhuang. "
The Monkey King: "What did you say?"
Pig Bajie (very wronged): "I said I wouldn't come, but you asked me to come." Now I'm going to succeed, and you're complaining to me. Over the years, I let you. "
Is it easy? Me? Washing clothes, cooking and carrying water. . . . . Especially you, smelly monkey, bully me if you have nothing to do, and you still owe me two dollars and twenty cents.
Haven't given it to me yet. . . . And you, don't think that you are a master and I am afraid of you. I'm telling you, I
Quit! "
Tang Priest: "Amitabha, a monk is merciful. In fact, I have long been disgusted. I have been lazy every day and robbed my steamed bread. I want to be upright today.
Honey, come on, Wukong, Wukong, give him a meal before you go! "
The Monkey King: "Hey, hey, do you want to fight alone or in groups?"
Pig Bajie: "I choose the menu" (Sun and Sha hit him)
Pig Bajie: "Didn't you say you were single?"
The Monkey King: "Yes, you singled us out."
Pig eight quit: "that. . What about group fights? "
The Monkey King: "Then we'll beat you up."
King of Daughter Country: "Dear, if you love me, please come."
The king of the daughter country went to Tang Priest.
King of Daughter Country: "Brother Tang Priest, do you really want to go?"
Tang Priest: "Yes."
King of the daughter country: "Can't you go?"
Tang Priest: "No, the tickets are all bought."
King of Daughter Country: "That. . . . . "
Tang Priest: "Wukong, stop it. Stop fighting. Time to go. . . . . "
Pig Bajie: "That's enough. Just leave? "
The Monkey King: "What? Do you still want to fight? "
Pig Bajie: "No, it's curtain call!" "
All the actors lined up.
Tang Priest: "I wish you all smooth sailing."
The Monkey King: "Perfect"
Pig Bajie: "Pepsi Cola"
Friar Sand: "All the best"
King of Daughter Country: "All your wishes will come true"
Qi: "study and career to a higher level!" Yeah! "