When I first met him, I was sitting in the library leafing through a magazine. He came over, knocked on my desk twice, pointed to another book next to me and asked me softly, "Have you finished reading it?"

I looked up slightly and saw a needle ring on his ear, smiling. I handed him the book: "I haven't finished reading it, but if you want to read it, I'll give it to you first."

He said thank you and sat down next to me. The air is still. The wind flows gently in a certain space, the sun shines obliquely on the desktop, and the vines that have not yet blossomed outside the window spread.

This is how the world began to become calm. Dust is constantly floating on the table. They are easily observed in the sun. Many times, I am such a person. In the long afternoon, I quietly pay attention to everything around me, listen to all the voices, and pass away the time I think is boring.

The crowd in the library began to decrease. I got up to leave, and he said wait a minute. Then he handed me the bookmark I put in that book: "Very beautiful bookmark, here it is." I put it away and put it in another book. He said, "What class are you in? I'll bring it to you after reading the book. "

I simply said, "Class Four, Yoga Yu."

He smiled and said, "Hello, I'm Wei Zhaung from Class Six."

I looked up at him again. My eyes are as bright as a clear spring, my eyebrows are thick and black, and I have a ring tied with a black line around my neck.

I nodded to him and went back to the house I rented off campus.

I never like those loud music. Sometimes when I sit alone, I will play a record of Philharmonic Orchid Bagpipes or Xiao's solo. In the evening, I play the violin on the balcony.

I suddenly realized that I was so sensitive to musical instruments. My music tutor told me that music is actually the most emotional art, especially playing musical instruments, and this emotional action is more obvious. Therefore, only when I play the violin will I gradually release my repressed feelings with the music. Or relaxed, or excited, or sad, or happy. A pianist said that a good instrument player will forget his existence in the process of playing. I have been exploring the meaning of this sentence. Later, I found that only by mixing people with musical instruments and forgetting their own existence can he release the most sincere feelings.

So I always want to ignore my own existence, and only playing the violin can satisfy me for a while.

I didn't know Wei Zhaung would make me forget my existence.

On the third day, Wei Zhaung called my name outside the classroom: "Yujia, Yujia."

I'm out. "finished?"

"Well, here you are." Wei Zhaung handed me the book and asked me, "Will you go to the library later?"

I said, "Let's go."

"Then you can help me borrow a book, I don't have time to go. My friends and I formed a band, and we must practice after school. We have a show in BluePub. Do you want to come and have a look? Free. "

"You play ..."

"Piano."

"Of course."

Then he told me the topic he was looking for, a long topic, the position of western philosophy in China's philosophy and its practical significance. I don't know how such a lively boy playing the piano can be interested in boring philosophy.

BluePub is just a small bar. Those who come here are rebellious high school students, college students and young unemployed people. The bartender's skill is not so good. When I ordered a blue enchantress, he told me that he couldn't come. Then Wei Zhaung ordered me a cup of iced lemon tea.

The band's performance was not a success. Except for Wei Zhaung's piano, other players are not good at playing. I can't believe such a person can play such a perfect piano. I'm a little confused about the origin of Wei Zhaung.

The song is not annoying, but it is not quiet. There are a lot of heavy metal music elements that they deliberately eliminated, which doesn't sound like emotional ups and downs. However, this is just in line with the style of this bar.

After the performance, Wei Zhaung took me to a food stall, which is the kind of stall that can be seen everywhere in the street. This shop is greasy and dirty. I ordered several dishes and seven or eight bottles of beer.

Wei Zhaung looked very excited and kept laughing during the conversation. I don't drink beer, but this is no place to drink red wine. Finally, I couldn't resist Wei Zhaung's bullying and drank a bottle. Wei Zhaung obviously drank too much. After seven or eight bottles of wine were poured into his stomach, he was completely drunk.

After taking a taxi, I helped him back to my house, bathed him, changed his clothes and slept like a pig. I sat alone on the sofa, poured a glass of red wine and tasted it slowly.

I don't like beer, but I especially like red wine. Beer has no taste value, it is just a popular drink. The taste of red wine is heavy, so you can feel the touch of every drop of wine in your mouth carefully. This process is wonderful. A French sommelier said that the process was like seeing heaven.

A sleepless night. The habit of insomnia was formed very early, so there are many ways to kill time at night. Watch DVD, surf the Internet, drink, or run on a quiet and deserted road. But this evening I didn't do anything but sit. I drank a small glass of red wine all night. In the living room bedroom, I could hear the soft breathing coming from Wei Zhaung. I went to the bed and looked down at him. He is really a beautiful boy. I bent down and kissed his face, a little drunk.

I admit that I'm gay, but there was nothing * * * in my kiss to Wei Zhaung. It's just an appreciation angle. If you see a baby, you will kiss him. If you see a cat, you will naturally touch him. Because I know I have no right to expect more from Wei Zhaung, I find it even more boring to like him.

I don't know how I fell in love with someone. The process is so fast that I can't find it. When chatting with some homosexuals on the Internet, I found that they easily fall in love with a man, even several men, but I don't. I found for the first time that when I was fifteen, the person I liked at first was a boy, not a girl. And the second time I fell in love with someone, it was four years later, and now I am also a boy. After calculation, I found that I only like two men, and there will be no others in the future.

After dawn, I fried a lotus egg and two sausages for Wei Zhaung. When Wei Zhaung woke up, he saw the red wine left in my glass and asked in surprise, "Do you drink red wine?"

"No?"

"No, I just didn't expect high school students to drink red wine."

"This is very special. Go brush your teeth, the toothbrush has been brought to you, and the white towel has been used. "

Wei Zhuang "oh", went into the bathroom and finished washing.

Wei Zhaung eats breakfast very slowly. I read the newspaper, chatting one build what did not build.

"Did you help me take a bath last night?" Wei Zhaung asked me at dinner.

"yes." I stared at the newspaper and answered flatly.

His voice suddenly became exaggerated: "You didn't see everything!"

"Who wants to see you? If you don't smell of wine in my room, I won't bother to help you bathe. "

"I don't care, I want to see you, too. It's only fair." I really put down my knife and fork, stood up and walked up to me, trying to pull my clothes.

"You're sick ... don't come. It's rude of me." I put down the newspaper and made a sign to shift gears.

He kept coming towards me, and we were soon dragged together and rolled on the ground. I was wearing a big T-shirt, and it was quickly faded by his much stronger hand than me. "Why are you so white?" ? It's nice to have such a good figure and not let others see it! "

"That's enough, stop playing."

He pressed against me, put his face close to me and whispered, "Who played with you?" I can feel the peculiar smell of the man who jumped on my face when he spoke.

I didn't answer, continue to struggle. He suddenly said, "Do you like me?"

I was shocked and stopped. I looked him in the eye and said indifferently, "Yes."

Then the next moment I think I'll never forget it. He put his lips on my mouth as if in a dream. I can't believe I'm in reality. Maybe I'll wake up and find myself sleeping in bed.

After a long French kiss, he gasped and smiled at me: "I can't believe why you can say this' yes' so simply?"

I pushed him away and sat up. "I think I am a person who won't hide. As long as someone asks me, I will definitely answer truthfully. It's like if someone asks me if I'm gay, my answer must be yes without hesitation, but no one will ask so abruptly, so I won't say it. "

"Well, I ask you now, um, Yoga Yu, are you gay?"

"yes."

"Very well, me too. Do you love me? "

"yes."

"Very well, I love you too. Last question, can we be together? "

"Wei Zhuang, you know? Until now, I thought I was dreaming. In fact, I never thought about getting your rights, because I know that once something is exposed, there is no room for manoeuvre, so I always hide my feelings carefully. Especially people like us have no right to love and be loved. However, today I know that miracles still exist. "

Wei Zhaung suddenly hugged me. "This is really a miracle."

Later, Wei Zhaung moved in with me, and my quiet life was like broken glass, falling off one by one.

Every day, Wei Zhaung and I go to school by bike, and I laugh and scold on campus. I still play the violin on the balcony at night, but the difference is that I have an extra piano to play with me. When Wei Zhaung first learned that I could play the violin, he seemed to swallow an egg in surprise. I just said, I didn't expect you to play the piano.

Then Wei Zhaung said, We are a match made in heaven.

I don't know if Wei Zhaung still has the meaning of this sentence, but my heart hurts badly anyway. From beginning to end, I was still hesitant about Wei Zhaung, because I knew he would leave eventually. Like everyone else, this is just a game. So I dare not indulge too deeply, for fear that the more painful I love. I am an emotional person, whether it is affection, friendship or love, I will treat it like life, but Wei Zhaung scares me. I'm afraid I'll get stuck.

I asked him why he was so abrupt and asked me if I liked him.

He said, I know everything. Do you think those beers really got me drunk? Your kiss smells good. Then I laughed alone.

I said, you have many tricks.

Wei Zhaung said, I have more tricks in bed. Would you like to have a try?

There was a long silence. I don't know how to answer this question consciously or unconsciously. I have lived with Wei Zhaung for a month, but nothing has happened. It's just that sometimes when I sleep, Wei Zhaung will turn over and kiss me, but that's all. I seem to have been instinctively resisting, just like when I wash clothes, I will wash Wei Zhaung and my clothes separately, and my mental cleanliness is particularly serious.

Wei Zhuang spoke first: "Forget it, just kidding, I won't force you."

I went over and hugged Wei Zhaung. "No, I want to try."

I saw Wei Zhaung's smile, especially brilliant. For him, this seems to be a way to prove love, and my compromise with him just tells him that I love him, that's all.

Wei Zhaung and I are different. I always like to gently open a travel album in the mottled trees in a quiet afternoon, make a cup of blue mountain coffee, and be alone quietly in the low-key and flying coffee fragrance. Accustomed to a person, accustomed to how to find fun in a life without ups and downs. For me, my pleasure is very low. I raise some clean flowers, write some words online, play the violin and run. Wei Zhaung's personality is too flamboyant. He lives vigorously every day, just like a flower that never fades, showing the brilliance and fragrance of life forever.

And gradually found that people really change for another person. I started going to some low-level bars for Wei Zhaung, going crazy with their bands and spending my colorful youth together. Wei Zhaung also gave up beer and had a glass of red wine or coffee with me on sleepless nights. Run together, play a beautiful tune in the evening, and look forward to the beautiful pictures in the travel album together.

Wei Zhaung and I still live happily together. In the eyes of others, we are still very close friends. We still cherish this childish and deformed love day carefully, and I also know that this relationship is just a butterfly with broken wings, beautiful but incomplete.

I just don't know where this butterfly with broken wings will end up in the sea.

Postscript: When I wrote this article online, Wei Zhaung looked at me quietly beside me. He doesn't agree that our relationship will be like a butterfly with a broken wing, but we all know in our hearts that we just don't want to expose that our relationship is actually more fragile than a butterfly with a broken wing and can't stand a little wind and rain in the crowd. I have been with Wei Zhaung for more than a year, and now I am a senior three student. I know that after this June, maybe I really should break up.